Disclaimer: Inuyasha and its characters do not belong to me.
A/n: Hey guys, it's been a while and this is the story which I present you all to apologize for my irregular uploads. I am a bit nervous about this story though. It's the first time I have experimented on something like this, so my lovely readers please go easy on me for this one.
I looked up at the graying sky, the first thought that passed my mind is how much longer? I admit that once back in my days I had wanted to deem my existence in any way possible on this planet, but after like all these 700 years of nothing but boredom, I seriously doubt that I want that existence anymore. Now, I just want to be free, free from this feeling of nothingness. Compared to what I had been before this, a demon lord capable of inducing fear in any living being even near a small radius of me, now I was almost like a figment of what I had been then.
My days are now nothing but boring, uneventful and lazy. I would almost have laughed at someone who would have said this to me in the past. I Sesshomaru, becoming lazy was something that was ridiculous in its own assumptions but now looks at me, I am sluggish, bored and annoyed. I wander around the city of Tokyo with nothing better to do than stare at all the seasons passing by and waiting for the final hours of my life force.
That is when I felt it the first time, a familiar signature of a soul, calling to me; I had not felt this pull in a very long time. My eyes almost widened and my feelings did a slight flip-flop. I was not ready for the onsets of such feelings after being dormant for so long. Somewhere along the line, I had decided to express my feelings more openly, I had realized that I did not really need to hide behind my mask, not anymore since the past had gone by since when and since hiding my feelings would not really matter anymore.
My feet carried me to the familiar pull of her soul. It was almost like fate had slapped me in the face, asking me to be hopeful once more but I knew better than that. But then again she was a Miko; maybe she would help me as she had helped all those poor souls in the feudal era, in my timeline. I had foregone my pride and arrogance long time back along with my emotionless mask. I was more than sure that none of them could have done me any real good or harm anymore.
I came by her in front of the same ground on which I had gazed so many years before and the ground which had been turned into dense undergrowth all these years later, neglected. A grimace crossed my face, humans were never the ones who could keep things beautiful, I had realized. She sat there with the bangs covering her small heart-shaped face, endowing a beautiful sundress and her black side bag lying on the ground beside her.
She looked up at me, her eyes softening immediately, an emotion that filled me with some kind of unexplainable warmth. Here I was standing, a figment of her past, a demon who had tried to kill her so many times but she still looked at me with those warm loving eyes, it almost made me feel guilty, somewhat. I looked into her beautiful never-ending ocean eyes. They had narrowed into beautiful almond shapes, the naiveté was gone in them and replaced by a beautiful underlining of maturity. I realized that she had aged as well, her figure developing into that of a woman and her hair flowing past her mid back. She was still the same and yet not. Her unnatural beauty took my breath away.
Kagome…
I savored in my mind. The woman who had the courage to point an arrow at my heart.
"Hi, Sesshomaru! How have been all these years? You know this is not the time era you had known, it is my time, Tokyo." She breathed out, barely a whisper and I rolled my eyes.
Of course, I was aware that what year it was but I was so confused her time?
"You know, I actually came to your time through my family well. This was actually my time period. A time where I had grown up all these years and a place where all my past adventures had stated." She stated softly and my eyes widened.
How had she known my unspoken question?
"I have wished it since then you know, I have wished it with all in my heart that I had hugged you that time before I had passed through the well and the well had closed after Naraku's death. But my disappearance was so sudden that I could not." She lowered her eyes in shame.
Yes, her disappearance had been very sudden but why would she want to hug me?
"I had already thought of you as a very dear friend by the end of our war. You had saved me so many times and also helped Inuyasha so much. I had wanted to go and ask you to be my friend." She smiled, a fraction of her lips rising.
Why did she not then?
"Because, I was always so scared, you know. Maybe you would think that I was a lowly human trying to befriend you and harshly deny me. I was scared of your rejection." She said and then laughed out loudly; the sound of her laughter healed something inside of me. I smiled as well.
"You know, I had always wanted to meet you again. I had always known that you would be there in the future but I had never really expected to meet you like this." A drop slid down her face and I frowned.
Why would she cry?
Then I noticed her hands removing the mud and dirt on a gravestone and a name written in calligraphy 'Sesshomaru' was revealed. My eyes softened, so she can't see me as well. I was disappointed; I thought that at least she could see me. Should a Miko not be capable of seeing a spirit, or at least feel my youki? I sighed, apparently not. She was never a very good miko anyways. My eyes lingered on her face as her tears fell in rapid succession. She was crying, so broken, and so fragile, I wanted to comfort her. My hands passed through her face and I was unable to touch her. My transparent body was not really a good way of reciprocating to her sorrow, but I was powerless. I could do nothing.
"I miss you! So much, so much more than the rest of them" She choked out and I felt a massive wave of feelings overwhelming me with their force. Being a spirit has its own perks and faults, and one of its faults was that I could now sense emotions of others. I had secluded myself all these years to escape from human emotions but now I felt so foreign when I was finally opened to one of those forceful emotions and my non-existent heart squeezed in pain and longing.
I saw as she picked her bag up and ran away from my gravestone. Was she trying to run away from all these feelings I wondered? Having nothing better to do, I followed her.
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She had always been the most amusing creature I had ever seen and now, I concluded that she had turned into a morose mess of someone who I could not even recognize. Why did she miss me so much? I had no clue but it felt really good, flattering.
I followed her as she walked out of her small shrine home and moved towards some kind of shed. Who even makes a shed in their house, is it some kind of storage space I wondered briefly. But then she opened the door, and a huge storm of magical power washed over me. I looked up at the sight in front of me, and my eyes widened, it was the well, the well that transported her. I stood by as she very foolishly jumped into the well and then climbed back up with the help of the ladder. She jumped once again and then winced in pain. What an idiot! Why would she try to do something like this I wondered? I looked down into the well and saw her crumbled form sitting on the floor of the well with a dejected look. I wished I could have pulled her up.
I watched as she climbed up slowly with the help of her ladder, wincing in pain. My eyes softened instantly, why was she doing this to herself?
She came out of the well and I moved back to give her some room, was I pretending to be alive I wondered. I watched as she punched the well with her fists, over and over again, untiring, unrelenting, tears flowing from her eyes in rapid succession.
"Why won't you let me through? Why? I want to save him. He can't be gone like that. He was so great, so beautiful. I…. I just want you to give me one chance. Please. Please listen to my call." She slid down the side of the well and placed her head on the side of its walls, leaning against it, crying herself into a lullaby-like trance.
Was she speaking of me? My heart gave a squeeze of anticipation, a longing I had not felt in a while, hope for her to think of me as something more than just a friend. Maybe my solitude has made me more starved for companionship, for love. Or maybe... something long-forgotten tried to well up inside of him. I tried to suppress it as I had done so many centuries ago.
"I don't want to believe this. He is gone, just like a mist; disappeared into thin air... I could not even touch him even if I wanted to. Even if I could go back now, I don't know anymore. He is already gone, is he not? I could not save him anymore. Am I right? I was late once more!" tears fell from her eyes in a torrential fall as she asked the spirits of the well to answer her desperate call and I stared at her with wide eyes, something pricking my chest. Her sorrow, it was hurting me, making me feel hollow.
I nodded to her unseeing eyes; I was already gone by this time on the other side of the well. If I could remember properly, I lost my life in a battle not merely 20 days after her sudden disappearance and after the completion of Shikon.
But the question still remained, why was she so obsessed with meeting me? something very hopeful started to well up in me, and for the first time of my existence, I allowed it to take over me.
I watched as she ran with all her might, what was it now? I followed her. Her steps seemingly took her towards the confines of her room. I kept on watching as she madly rummaged through her drawer. She released a sigh of relief when she got her hands on the thing she was searching for. It was just a box, why was she fawning over it so much. She opened it and took out several pictures, of her friends, of the shard hunting group. Were those taken by those digital cameras? When did she even carry the camera with her? Then again, I was not really her best acquaintance to know about all of her activities or habits.
I kept on watching as she removed cardboard from beneath the box and then she took out several pictures. My eyes widened, they were all of me. When had she even clicked and why was I not alerted by her presence. A certain picture caught my attention. It was of me standing in the most favourite place of mine, in a forest to the east filled by the glow of fireflies and the sound of cicadas at night. In the picture, I had a peaceful expression as I was surrounded by the fireflies. I had always felt their light warm and beautiful. For a few minutes in eternity, I was transported back to that place in time.
I saw as she picked up that picture in her hand; seemed like it was her favourite picture as well. She laid down on her bed and looked at my picture. I felt very uncomfortable for a while. Looking at all these things made me feel uncomfortable every day.
"You died saving him did you not? In my history book, I had read that the Inu prince had died saving a man covered in red blood. Those words made me realize that it was indeed Inuyasha whom you had saved that day. The red was not blood but his kimono was it not?" She choked out, her voice wavering with repressed sorrow.
Was that all it had to her feelings? Was she just guilty because I had died to save her intended mate? I felt disappointment wash over me. I had almost wanted her to care for me, someone to remember me. But it seemed like my memory would always be her guilt. I felt sick of myself; I wanted her to be remorseful of my death. I was selfish; I had wanted her to remember me as not just some hero who died protecting her friends but also someone whom she wanted to remember.
"You were an idiot you know. Why would you do something like that?" She harshly demanded.
I looked at her with surprise. Was I being reprimanded for saving the most important person in her life? Why would she ask something like that? Should she not be glad that her mate is alive? She had just to pass that well and then she could be with him. A bitter feeling passed through me as I could not explain why I felt this way.
"Even if someday I could go through that damned well, I could see Inuyasha and my friends but you won't be there. You would be nowhere. Did you ever think about how Rin would have felt? How she would have coped with the loss of her most precious person. In order to show your own dominance, you did that did you not?" She was now hysterical as she shouted at my picture. She looked almost comical shouting at the picture of a dead guy, the only irony was that I could see her doing all of it. The spike in her anger brought back the memories of her feisty nature and a small smile graced my face.
"You thought what; people would remember you as a hero. Guess what, I will tell you the truth, you were a coward, a coward dammit! I will not forgive you ever, it was Inuyasha who would have been dead, but you took his place, you heartless bastard!" She shouted as she held the picture near her chest and cried into her pillows, mourned for a loss which was very huge to her.
I lowered my eyes in shame. Yes, she was correct, I had been a coward. I had feared at that time, feared that Rin would die and when Inuyasha had protected her, I feared that Kagome would be sad if she came back and saw Inuyasha was gone. My life, on the other hand, was not really that useful anymore, I had already surpassed my father and nothing mattered to me more. It had been impulsive then, I had jumped in front of the blast that was in his way and my body was ripped to pieces in an instant. I smiled as I remembered how I had thought of protecting both Rin's and Kagome's smile in that instant. Suddenly my death was not so painful anymore.
But now looking at her, for the first time I had wanted to be there for her. I wanted to reach out to her and wipe all her tears. I had wanted to talk to her and tell her that I was there, right in front of her. So she did mourn for me after all, not because of some misplaced guilt but because she missed me. I smiled.
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I followed her as she strolled towards the path of my grave again. She was carrying a black umbrella to shelter her from the pouring rain. The day was already gloomy and I really did not want to hear her bawling about how she missed me. In truth, every time she cried saying she missed me, a part of me was lost. I wanted to reach out to her every time. I wanted to be alive once again. I felt different, nauseatic, pathetic and I never wanted to feel like that ever again.
I observed as she sat down in front of my gravestone once again, smiling brightly. Maybe it was that day of which I had feared the most; maybe today she would say that she had found a way to revive me. I laughed out loud. I would not really stop her though. She shuffled through her bag and retrieved a white file and placed it on my stone. I looked at her quizzically. What was she trying to do?
"Here are the most important documents of my life. There is an acceptance letter from Tokyo University. I wanted to show them to you first. You have always been in my mind nowadays. I wanted you to know that now I would be studying history major." She released a sigh.
Why was she telling me all these things? What would I do by knowing all these? Was she playing the role of a dear friend right now, someone who would always tell her best friend about the happenings in her life before she told it to someone else?
"I….I promise I would never let them forget you. The world, I would never let it forget you I promise. I would search the entire history section of Todai and even do my own research but never will I allow your existence to be erased out of history. You were too great, too great to be forgotten. Your sacrifice meant nothing compared to all the great battles you had fought. You were a magnificent beast whom the world will know I swear. They will know about your compassion, your honour and your love for Rin. And, thank you...thank you for saving Inuyasha. No matter what I say, you would not have had things any other way, I know!" She smiled down at my gravestone.
Her smile felt like it broke through the darkened skies and as if a ray of warm sunshine fell on me, warming my soul from the inside out. The deep cold that I had felt thinking that no one would remember me, but somehow she took away all that cold feelings and turned it into warmth, giving me hope that she would make it so that I was remembered. I smiled at the skies above.
I felt as if a warm light spread through me and scattered everywhere. I panicked. I felt like I was being drawn towards something unknown, peaceful. I knew it was my time to go, but I wanted to touch her, feel her warmth before I left. I felt it all of a sudden, my feet touching the ground. I stared at myself. I had materialized for what felt like once in 700 years. Kagome looked up from the gravestone and looked up at my shimmering figure in white. Her eyes widened as all the unshed tears in her eyes fell on my gravestone. She picked herself up in an instant and walked towards my figure, with each step she took, my anticipation increased and then before I knew, she took off in a run and launched herself in my arms which I realized now were left open for her embrace.
She hugged me closely and cried into the crook of my neck.
My Kagome….
She looked at my face taking it in her hands, cupping it gently, like I was some porcelain doll and would break in her hands. She stared at me with those big, tired eyes and all the tears kept in her in all these years shed all at once.
"Sesshomaru….." she breathed out with so much warmth, so much longing and so much happiness that there was nothing more to be said between us. We both knew that somewhere along the way, we had fallen for each other. I bent down and did the thing which I had wished to do so many years ago. I pressed my lips against hers in a chaste kiss and she sighed melting in it.
We broke apart for air and then I looked into her eyes. I realized that my final wish had been granted and I felt as light-filled me I looked at her, I felt my body dissolving into the light. My time had finally come and I could not be more selfish than to want to live with her forever. I smiled at her and we silently agreed to meet in a more distant future where we would be reborn without the boundaries of life and time.
My beautiful Kagome… I love you!
A/n: This is the end of this story; I hoped you all have liked it.
Read and review!
Thank you!
~Weirdlykagome.