Kagome couldn't stop the tears even after she'd leapt through the well.
But she couldn't stay home in the future, either. Everywhere she looked, everywhere she was, she kept expecting to see Buyo—and he wouldn't be there.
He never would be there again.
She could still feel his fluffy, warm body pressed against her as he purred and kneaded her legs. She could see him chittering about a treat, spinning in circles until she gave it to him. She could even see him chasing a feather around the house as she dangled it around for him to catch.
He was everywhere except here: the feudal era.
She settled back against the edge of the well, too emotionally drained to even move. InuYasha would come looking for her soon, but she couldn't bring herself to go looking for the rest of her friends. InuYasha would freak out because she was crying, Miroku would offer cryptic advice that wouldn't be especially helpful given Kagome's current mood, and Sango would try her best to comfort Kagome but she never really knew what to say. Sango faced her problems and emotions head on, even the darkest ones.
And Shippo... He would understand her feelings of loss, but his own loss was far too recent for Kagome to feel right burdening him with hers. Shippo was still grieving his parents' deaths in his own way.
I'm so tired, she thought to herself, yet it was more emotional weariness than true exhaustion. Her arms ached to hold her cat and cuddle him to her yet her mind reminded her of why she couldn't.
"I miss him," she whispered aloud, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop falling.
I probably look like a mess, she reflected with a mirthless chuckle. Ever since I left the vet with Mom and Sota, I haven't been able to stop crying. My nose is raw and probably red, my eyes are swollen and raw, and my throat is hoarse. I probably look gross.
She blew her nose with one of the tissues in the pack she brought with her.
I miss Buyo so much...
"Lady Kagome?"
Kagome turned her head to see Rin standing on the other side of the well. Behind her were Kohaku, Jaken, and Ah-Un, and already leaving the clearing was Sesshomaru, though he seemed to have realized that Rin and the others had stopped because he simply paused, as if waiting for them to follow after him.
Kagome sniffled and tried to quickly dry her face. "Hi, Rin," she croaked. "How are you?" She tried to think of a way to encourage them to linger; Sango would want to see her brother and Kagome knew all too well how the pain of separation ached. But she was too emotionally drained for any ideas to come to mind.
"Rin is fine." Rin grinned, showing off a missing tooth and Kagome guessed that Rin's adult teeth might be growing in. "Lord Sesshomaru and Master Jaken are fine, too. Rin made a friend! His name is Kohaku, but he doesn't talk much. He is very nice, though. And Lord Sesshomaru has a new sword!"
Kagome glanced over at Sesshomaru, momentarily distracted. A new sword?
"But you don't seem very happy, Lady Kagome," Rin added, drawing Kagome's attention back to the little girl.
"I, uh..." Kagome faltered, unable to express her feelings to the young girl. She didn't know much about Rin's circumstances, but if Rin was traveling with Sesshomaru on her own, Kagome suspected they weren't happy ones. She didn't want to burden her further. "It's just a sad day for me."
Rin's face scrunched up at that. "Why?"
Kagome sighed and gave in, unable to resist Rin's pleading face as she waited for an answer. "I lost someone important to me," she said as Rin's eyes widened. "My cat, Buyo," she added quickly in case Rin might misunderstand and think Kagome's friends were dead or gone.
Rin's mouth dropped open in a big 'O.'
"Rin. Come." Sesshomaru's voice reverberated through the clearing and Jaken, Ah-Un, and Kohaku immediately turned to begin following the inuyokai.
Rin ran after Sesshomaru, but to Kagome's surprise, she stopped short of the inuyokai and began pleading with him. "Please, Lord Sesshomaru, we must help Lady Kagome. She is so sad, like Rin was when her parents died. Rin knows Lady Kagome must be lonely."
Kagome's eyes widened and she suspected Sesshomaru looked about as surprised, though she couldn't see his face. "No, Rin, really, it's okay. My friends will be here soon and—"
"Please, Lord Sesshomaru! We cannot leave her alone until her friends are here!" Rin pleaded.
The very idea of InuYasha seeing Sesshomaru with Kagome had her wincing. She just knew it would result in another fight—one she had no energy to deal with. "Rin—" Kagome began but Rin seemed determined to help inspire of herself.
"Lord Sesshomaru, Rin knows that you are very wise and powerful! If anyone can help Lady Kagome, it is you!" Rin clasped her hands together and whether it was her praise or her begging posture, Sesshomaru seemed to soften. He gave a short nod and turned and walked over to Kagome.
Kagome couldn't help but notice that Sesshomaru didn't seem thrilled or comfortable doing so, however. "Hi, Sesshomaru," she greeted, more because she didn't want to be rude.
"Priestess." He inclined his head shortly. "Where is the hanyo?"
"Umm..." Kagome bit her lower lip. She'd refused to let InuYasha stay in her time when her mother had given her the news about Buyo's condition. She'd wanted to be alone with her family and her grief, but InuYasha hadn't been happy to be banished. He'd left the modern era in a huff, complaining the entire way that it was 'just a cat.'
She hadn't been fooled, however. InuYasha had liked Buyo, no matter how much he'd pretended otherwise. But Buyo had been her cat; she'd picked him out herself when she was Sota's age after begging her parents for years to have a pet.
Buyo was hers and he had been special.
"He's not here," she finally admitted, knowing Sesshomaru expected an answer. "But he'll be back...eventually," she added lamely, wiping away the new tears at the reminder of her beloved cat.
In fact, Sesshomaru's fur that he wore around his abdomen and back kind of reminded her of Buyo's fur. It looked as soft and silky as Buyo's fur had been after a bath and brushing. Buyo had never liked baths, so Kagome had made sure to give him plenty of treats afterwards, but Buyo had liked being brushed. He would purr nonstop while she brushed and if she stopped before he was ready, he would try and grab the brush and pull it back.
She wanted to touch Sesshomaru's fur and find out for herself, but something told her that the inuyokai would be less than accommodating or understanding if she did. She sighed internally in disappointment.
"You do not have your weapons," Sesshomaru remarked after a moment.
Kagome couldn't bring herself to care. She wouldn't have brought them to her time, anyway; her mother would worry and freak out if she knew Kagome was actually fighting in the past. As far as her mother knew, InuYasha did the fighting and protecting and Kagome simply helped him with finding jewel shards.
Kagome glanced over at the others and saw Rin and the others watching them expectantly. Kagome wanted to be alone, but Rin probably wouldn't want to leave unless she thought Kagome felt better.
But how to convince the little girl that she was fine? She couldn't bring herself to even fake a smile, let alone do anything else to show she was happy. And the entire conversation with Sesshomaru—if you could even call it one—was awkward.
"No, I don't," she agreed, wishing that Rin hadn't spotted her.
Sesshomaru followed her gaze to Rin. "It is foolish to stand here unarmed when you are under distress for the loss of your...companion," he said a little louder, as if he'd intended for Rin to overhear.
"Right." Kagome sighed heavily, wrapping her arms around herself. "Well, InuYasha will be here soon, so..."
"It is not wrong to grieve," he continued, ignoring her comment. If he was uncomfortable at the subject at hand, he didn't show it. "But you must think of your safety, priestess, and the impact your death would have if you were struck down in this state."
Why am I not surprised that his idea of 'help' is a lecture. Kagome pressed her lips together to prevent herself from snapping back.
"Perhaps you should strike down the one who harmed your companion," he added helpfully.
Kagome stared at him, at a loss. How on earth could she explain that her own family had chosen to put Buyo down after they'd received the test results for his condition, and that it had been a trained medical professional who had done it? "Um, that's really not possible," she said finally, giving up on any possible explanation. Sesshomaru wasn't likely to understand.
He raised a brow. "Perhaps you have not examined your options carefully enough."
She felt her temper erupt. "Look, I'm not killing anyone to make myself feel better, let alone a veterinarian, okay? It wouldn't help, anyway." Nothing she said or did was going to bring Buyo back.
They stared at each other and she had the feeling that Sesshomaru was more amused than offended. As quickly as it appeared, her temper faded.
"It is a most excellent coping mechanism," he replied, idly running a hand through his hair.
"Right," Kagome drawled, wishing Sesshomaru would just go away.
Rin suddenly cupped her hands to yell, "You should hug her, Lord Sesshomaru?"
"Stupid girl!" Jaken was quick to bellow, waving around his staff as he lectured Rin. "Lord Sesshomaru is a great and terrifying daiyokai! He does not go around hugging human girls!"
Kohaku said nothing as he exchanged a look with Ah-Un.
"Like this!" Rin turned and hugged Kohaku, catching the older boy off guard. "See? Hugs are very nice, Lord Sesshomaru."
Jaken immediately began squawking another protest about how Lord Sesshomaru was too great to hug anyone.
"Um." Kagome licked her dry lips; she definitely did not need a hug from Sesshomaru. She could only imagine how awkward a hug like that would be, the spikes on his armor notwithstanding. "You should probably go."
"You could always kill Jaken," Sesshomaru said, his smooth baritone almost drowning out his retainer's protests.
Kagome couldn't tell if he was jesting but she figured he had to be. "Thanks, but I'll pass."
"Then you seek physical affection," Sesshomaru said slowly, studying her with an unwavering gaze. "An embrace from another being that brings comfort to humans in times of turmoil. Yet the hanyo is not here to offer such to you, nor are any of your other companions in the immediate vicinity."
Kagome stared at him. The words seemed wrong coming from an inuyokai with a name like Sesshomaru. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rin nod eagerly and that seemed to be enough of a confirmation for Sesshomaru.
"Then you may seek such from this one and his companions to tide you over until your companions arrive," he announced as he spread his arms to allow her to embrace him.
Rin immediately clapped her hands in delight. "Yes, yes!"
Jaken screeched in horror and then promptly fell over, leaving Kagome to assume that the yokai had fainted. Kohaku simply turned and loaded Jaken's prone body onto Ah-Un.
Seeing no way out of it, Kagome gave Sesshomaru a very brief and awkward hug. She hoped Rin would be happy to leave it at that.
And yet, despite the awkwardness, Sesshomaru's body was very warm and the arm he wrapped around her was comforting and strong. He had a faint, woodsy scent that was soothing and his clothes and hair were clean and silky. The fur that surrounded him was soft and silky, but not in a way that reminded her of Buyo, but in a way that reminded her of a soft, feathery pillow, and she suspected that it must be extremely comfortable to sleep with. In different circumstances, perhaps, it would have been a very comforting hug in spite of everything.
When she stepped back, Sesshomaru had a smug grin on his face but he said nothing as he turned and headed out of the clearing once more, evidently satisfied with how things had played out.
Rin raced over to hug Kagome, pulling the priestess into a tight hug. "Lord Sesshomaru enjoyed hugging you," she whispered proudly in Kagome's ear. "I knew you two would make the perfect couple! Don't worry; Lord Sesshomaru will be back!"
And with that, Rin rejoined her companions and followed Sesshomaru out of the clearing, leaving Kagome behind to wonder what the hell had just happened. And, despite everything, Rin had been right: the hugs she'd received had helped distract Kagome from the pain she was in. Nothing and no one could ever replace Buyo, but she could still find the same happiness and love in cuddling someone else.
Kagome only hoped that Rin hadn't been serious when she said Sesshomaru would be back. She didn't think her heart could take it.