Kagome made it to the edge of the village undetected.
It was easy enough once the formalities had concluded, and the ensuing excitement had attentions pulled in every which way. Spirits were high and uncorked, and as happy as she was for her friends, she opted to make use of the distraction. She slipped away, tapering the steadily mounting chaos in an unhurried escape until she was finally out of earshot, and found one of her favorite old haunts.
And while she shared almost everything with her friends, she had never told anyone about this place.
Before being cast back to the modern era, the high ground of the rolling hillside was one of her very few secrets. It was important to her to have just one thing all her own, and as far as selfish acts went, this one was pretty harmless.
The wide, untouched land was more or less sparing. A few trees littered about sported no fruits or blooms, but from that height, you could see all the way to the horizon. It made her feel like she was looking at the whole world, and that she was sitting atop it – above everything that would stand in her way.
The solitude was another draw. She would come here from time to time, mostly when she needed to get away and think, and had never once encountered another soul. No human or demon had ever intruded on her daydreaming, and nothing short of a common hare or dragonfly sought to distract her from her musings.
She vowed not to stay long - just a quick respite to calm her anxieties and quite her less productive thoughts - but she'd been the center of attention since her triumphant return to the feudal era, reuniting with old friends and being introduced to new ones, and a moment of peaceful silence was definitely in order.
On the downslope of the second highest hill stood a magnolia tree that had often shaded her from the hot summer sun. The path she took to it was well-treaded, though showed no evidence of it. It was like she had never been there, and the fear of being forgotten – unimpactful – caused a familiar twisting in her chest.
It had driven her to desperate measures in the past, as her memory holding the only proof of her existence in the feudal era became an uncomfortable notion. She did not like the thought of relying on her sanity alone, and the modest tree's trunk gave her the affirmation she needed.
With a wistful smile, she fondly ran the fingers over her initials gouged deep into the bark before sitting just outside its shadow - it wasn't terribly hot today. She leaned back on her palms and took in the picturesque scenery for the first time in five years. She breathed it all in – the smell, the sound (or lack thereof), the serenity... the solitude.
For five years, she'd thought of nothing but returning to her friends, and here she was; one week in, and she was already retreating to her quiet place.
Of course, she had no idea what had awaited her back here. It certainly hadn't gone how she'd imagined.
Her poor heart had only known empty yearning following her return to her own time. Years of unanswered prayers and dwindling hopes ebbed that ache until it was gone. Until everything was.
Resignation and disappointment had succeeded in numbing the battered muscle, whether it was a merciful act on her body's part depended on the day, and that was how it stayed.
Until she was finally allowed to return.
In the short week since then, it had certainly made up for lost time. Elation and pure happiness filled her empty heart nearly past capacity when she returned to find Inuyasha waiting for her. His clawed hand extended, pulling her out of the well and into his arms, and she had never known a joy so absolute.
It wasn't long after that however, when instead of burst at the seams with an overabundance of happiness, it shattered into a million little pieces. Since then, the dull, persistent ache of longing and uncertainty that had driven her to numbness was outdone by a new pain.
A sharp tear, acute and unforgiving, refused to cease its agonizing throb. She wasn't sure if she preferred the numbness or not, but she knew she preferred the uncertainty of her friends' and her fate to knowing... now that she knew.
"Has the ceremony already completed?"
And then, in the seconds between piercing her eardrums and registering in her prefrontal cortex, a smooth baritone in startling proximity caused that poor, abused heart to cease functioning all together.
"Sesshoumaru!" she gasped, placing a steadying hand above her breast. "You scared me."
"A healthy reaction."
By the time she'd turned, he was already sitting beside her. Cool and disinterested, gazing off in the distance like he hadn't just asked her a question... he hadn't changed a bit.
Except the part where he asked her a question. And when he acknowledged her just enough to prompt her, she realized he expected a response.
She smiled warmly at him. "Yep, its official."
He offered no reaction other than return his attention to the horizon - the same one he'd torn her from, and distracted her from still. Searching his stoic expression for clues turned up nothing.
"But the celebration is just getting started," she added helpfully, just in case. She didn't know the specifics of his absence today, but she'd gleamed enough from Sango and the others.
"It's a shame you couldn't make it," was all she would say. "You should have been there."
She assumed he would be, of course. It seemed like every village between there and the Western Lands were invited, and as no one had talked about anything else in the past week, it was gearing up to be the event of the decade.
Though she was aware none of that would have concerned Sesshoumaru. It was only his connection to the guest of honor that all but assured his attendance, in Kagome's mind.
But she had been mistaken, she was informed when bringing it up. The topic brought forth an uncomfortable air, as the demon lord encouraged more hostile animosity than she remembered being normal. Mostly from Sango, of all people, and despite her curiosity to pry; the others' reaction to her innocent query warned against it.
From their clipped and vague statements, she felt she could glue the big pieces together.
"Your timing, however, was impeccable."
"I know," she agreed. "I just got back last week."
The view looked just the same as she remembered, and so did the dog demon sitting beside her. The way he casually wrapped his arms around his slightly bent knees was a new mannerism, though. That, and willingly sitting within touching distance, and not to mention speaking to her.
Even if she was the only person in a ten-mile radius not at the party she just abandoned, he would have gladly taken the solitude over her company five years ago.
She took him as badly needed proof that not all the change that occurred in her absence had been for the worse.
"I am aware. This One sensed you."
"Oh." She didn't know why she felt affronted that he hadn't come to acknowledge her existence.
Why would he start now?
She'd been forced to endure a lot of attention - and simultaneously, her heartbreak - as one reunion after another threw her into the company of everyone she'd ever met in this time. Even those she barely knew, or had doubts ever actually met at all.
She should be sick of the welcome wagon, and she thought she was, but she surprised herself by feeling sad that he hadn't come to see her.
But, she supposed, that was what he was doing now... she thought.
She forced her pain away, like she'd been doing all week, and hid behind another genuine smile.
"Well, it's good to see you."
"Is it?" A thin silver eyebrow arched high.
"Sure!" she said. "It's always nice to see a familiar face. Especially when everything's changed."
"A mortal's life is ever-changing," he said, either not picking up on the sadness that entered her tone, or more likely, just not caring. She was glad he ignored it; her paranoid friends were much harder to evade, and allay. "From your perspective, a youkai is frozen in time."
"I never thought of it that way." She found his clinical, no-nonsense way of informing her about herself less annoying than usual. But try as she might, her thoughts kept straying back to the same point.
Releasing a heavy sigh, she pulled her knees to her chest. "Everything's so crazy here now. I've only been gone five years, but it's like the whole world has moved on without me."
"Did you expect it to stop for you alone?" he asked, causing her to blush when their eyes met.
"Of course not, but..." She rested her chin on her knees. "I guess I hoped it would have waited for me just a little."
"A foolish notion," he said, and she frowned. She forgot how unsympathetic he could be.
"Though I suppose your relationship with time is more skewed than most."
It was actually a pretty generous concession on his part. For him, at least. She would take it.
And he still hadn't left yet, despite likely having no interest in her petty human problems. Her somber grin returned through gentled, though obviously weary features.
"Well, I'm happy you're here."
"You do not appear to be happy."
Startled by his observation, her impulse was to refute it. But then she realized that's what it was, despite the accusation in his tone. There was no getting past him, at any rate.
A humorless laugh pushed its way past her lips. "I'm not, to be honest."
"But you are happy that I am here," he repeated dubiously.
"Yes."
He hardly had to move to make her feel his assessing youki judging everything about her – from her demeanor, to her posture, to the scents she was emitting. Had she anything to hide, it would have made her feel exposed. But since she didn't, she only felt the mild burning of his stellar, inuyoukai senses on her skin.
"How?"
Exasperated, she laughed again. "I wish I knew!"
He must have concluded she had told him everything she was able to about it, regardless if that satisfied his curiosity or, knowing him, more likely not.
While she was losing herself in the beauty of the countryside – as she had come here to do – that burning tempered, telling her that perhaps he was joining her in its appreciation.
She only wondered briefly if he came here to think too, or if he'd followed his nose to her on purpose. She'd wager he had a lot on his mind right now.
Did he frequent this little spot like she did, hoping to be alone, and only came over to investigate when he saw he wasn't? She supposed this was his jurisdiction, technically.
Or had he just now stumbled upon it while he was hoping to find something else? Someone - anyone - or specifically her?
Common sense told her no, but it would also remind her that Sesshoumaru didn't do anything he didn't want to. Not on purpose, and here he was, conversing with her of his own free will.
"Those not bound by time live free of its confines, but that does not mean they are immune to its ravages." He ran the deadly tip of his thumb over his knuckles as he continued staring off ahead of them. "Time waits for no one, be they man-"
"or youkai," she finished helpfully.
He smirked instead of glaring at her for interrupting.
"Or woman," he corrected. "But yes; though time cannot defeat me directly, it can be crippling all the same. It goes on without you," he added distantly, confirming what she'd suspected.
"And takes the people you love with it."
This time, he didn't correct her. She'd even avoided a scolding.
Sesshoumaru could be exclusionary, and his haughty nature made him easy to accuse of it. But while the others took his actions a bit more personally, Kagome easily could decipher the root of his petulance. In this instance, at least.
"Rin is still very young," she assured him, trying to sound consoling. "Especially where I come from."
"Entirely too young." He was scraping his poison claws hard enough to sever her fingers, but not break his own skin, apparently.
Sesshoumaru was a demon who was not accustomed to being denied. When he didn't get what he wanted, he did not take it well – she could personally attest to that.
Neither was he accustomed to something being beyond his control, but she knew the thing he wanted most right now was not something even he could bend to his will. It compounded as he was getting two brutal reminders of that fact blindsiding him in one elegant swoop, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it.
He was stuck in the same hell as she was. Perhaps that was why he had sought her out - if he did.
Or maybe their similar circumstances drove them both to the same conclusion... or at least the same tree.
He would never admit it, but he had been more than Rin's guardian for over six years now. He was a father to her, and time was a lot crueler a lot faster to her kind than his own. In the years Kagome was gone, Rin had nearly reached the age she had been when she first came to this era.
If he looked frozen in time to her, then she must look like a time lapse video on fast forward.
Starting today, she was longer his to protect, and losing his guardianship meant he had to admit that in no time at all, he would lose her for good.
Everyone thought he was being a jerk; but considering all that, Kagome thought he was being incredibly measured. No one was even dead... that she knew of.
"I'd agree with you there," she said, and he looked like he appreciated that. Recalling the times her 15-year-old self had been warned of impending spinsterhood, she'd bet she was the first to do so. "But in this era, it's not how people see things. And I mean, who can blame them, with life expectancy-"
"It is remedied easily enough," he snapped. He was glaring out at nothing... or everything; she couldn't tell.
"A more strategic choice would have assured her longevity." He sneered bitterly, "an aversion to coupling with demons robs you mortals of centuries."
His curling lip exposed a very intimidating fang, but even that was not enough to stifle her.
"Are you serious right now?" She was content to let him vent, but couldn't look past the accusation he forced her to shoulder on behalf of women everywhere. Especially not with his track record.
He scowled, but without a matching glare it just made him look pouty - guilty, and rightly chastised, but she wasn't here to dig up old bones.
Loving a human hadn't worked out for anyone who was special to him, and until now, that had only included demons. This time, it happened to be a human he wished to protect from the perilous scenario.
"I suppose I can't blame you," she offered the stewing demon. "A mortal woman cut your father's life short. I can see how it looks like a raw deal on your end."
After all, looking at it from his side, it seemed like humans were reaping benefits awarded through demon sacrifice. He couldn't see what youkai would get out of the exchange; so to him, it was only weakness and following your... hormones.
But Kagome knew why his father did what he did. What he got in return.
"He followed his heart-"
"Right into his grave," he was quick to counter.
She regarded him sympathetically. "And now you think Rin is doing the same thing."
There was a pregnant pause as her assessment hung in the air between them.
"I know she is." His fury seemed to temper after the acknowledgement - still present, but administered much more calmly. Seering gold shimmered with a fierceness that most would find terrifying; but when they snapped to her, they weren't out for blood, or justice, or even satisfaction.
He was frustrated. And he was powerless, and he just wanted someone to understand. Even if he didn't know it was what he sought, Kagome recognized impotent rage well enough.
"She could have had anything she wished for. This Sesshoumaru could have procured any demon she desired, and she would have lived for an eternity. If any woman could choose a youkai over a mortal," his tone gentled, almost hopelessly, "I was certain it would have been her. But I suppose even immortality is not enough for you."
Overlooking what she interpreted as an unfair grievance against all human women, Kagome relented to being his sounding board.
"She could have kept him on as her lover," he reasoned further.
Sesshoumaru probably hadn't lost a war in a very long time, and the shock to his system did not look to be pleasant. But it was a done deal. It was over.
Not normally one to bemoan in futility or lament the unchangeable, he seemed to simply need an outlet.
He thought he was right, and could spell out exactly why, and just didn't understand why his flawless logic didn't produce the outcome he wanted. She could practically read his thoughts:
Why act against your own interests? It is foolish.
If only everyone else was as clever as he, they could all benefit from rational thinking. But they only needed to be clever enough to listen to him, and they would all be a lot better off.
He just needed some validation.
He needed a bitch session, and she was letting him have it.
She got the sense that in rejecting a demon mate, he felt that Rin was really rejecting him. As a guardian, as a father... life the way they knew it. All he could offer her, and would.
It wasn't good enough. He wasn't. It was his biggest, if not only, insecurity, courtesy of the aforementioned late father. It had to sting.
"You are thinking about it too strategically," she said, and by the crease in his crescent-stamped brow, she appeared to have been speaking in tongues. "Sure, it makes sense on paper, but you can't map out people's hearts like that. She loves Kohaku, so he is the one she wants. A lifetime with anyone else would be torture."
Whether a 14-year-old could form such a powerful connection was another debate, and not a productive one at this point. He just needed a crash course in the basics, and she doubted there was any other human willing to explain it to him.
"A lifetime of comfort and luxury," he scoffed. "Quite a divine torture."
"It's not the life she wanted. Can you imagine a life like that? If you had to give up something you love, say..." A sly grin lit up her face, "taunting Inuyasha with gratuitous displays of power, just to sit on a throne and be fed grapes all day. You would be miserable."
She was fairly confident in that, for if Sesshoumaru wanted revel his days away in idle luxury, he could certainly arrange it. Comfort and longevity could not buy contentedness, and it looked like he was starting to conceive that.
But claiming to know the daiyoukai's motivations was not how to get on Sesshoumaru's good side. She hoped he was thoughtfully considering her point at the moment, as opposed to the most efficient way of skinning a bratty miko.
"Well, that's what life is like without the one you love."
"Is that why you are not happy?" he ventured, catching her off guard yet again.
But by the look he was giving her, he wasn't trying to be petulant. He almost seemed interested, so she gave it some thought, hugging her knees tighter in the process.
"I guess I expected too much," she sighed. "I didn't think five years was too much to ask for, considering what I sacrificed."
She would have given everything to defeat the jewel – and very nearly had. But she hadn't done it to be rewarded; it was just the right thing to do.
However, she had naively believed that in the end, the good guys would get their due. The fates would come through for her.
She had quickly learned that just because you deserve something, does not mean you will get it. Even worse, the fates may continue to punish you still, for no apparent reason whatsoever.
She was distantly aware of Sesshoumaru's keen gaze upon her again, but was too preoccupied with her recent sorrow to acknowledge it.
"He did not know you were coming back."
"I know," she said quietly, digging her chin a little harder into her kneecap. "I didn't either. But I still waited." Frowning deeply, she realized how naive she really was. How stupid.
"I held onto that hope. But, just like the rest of the world, he moved on without me." She sighed resentfully. "... so easily."
"It was not easy for him." He was stern in his assertion, but it was not enough to persuade even a glance. "The hanyo felt the torture you described."
"How do you know?" she muttered. Silence stretched on between them, and she assumed that would be her answer.
"This One watched as he returned to your well," finally replied, "every three days, hoping against hope you would return to him."
If it wasn't Sesshoumaru saying it, she never would have believed that was true. She still had to look into his eyes to assure herself of it. Sure enough, his serious, unflinching gold brooked no room for argument, just like they always did – though, perhaps they were a little softer than usual.
"He was miserable, and only grew more so until his mate came along to drag him from the abyss."
His mate. It was still so hard to accept.
"He resisted," the dog demon continued, when he saw her expression begin to fall, "felt guilt for developing a new attachment. Eventually, for betraying you. You were not so simple to move on from, miko. And I know that your acceptance is of consequence to him." He leveled an accusing glare. "Fabricated as it may be."
"It's so hard." The strain in her voice betrayed the tears that threatened to fall as helpless little fists squeezed white into her knuckles.
"Perhaps, but it is the way things are."
"I just don't know if it's worth it." Her sorrow was mounting, unfurling poorly concealed despair until it saturated her aura. It almost appeared to concern him, but his curiosity regarding her always read more as confusion than anything.
"Like you said, things are the way they are," she answered preemptively. "Whether I like it or not doesn't change that. And whether I decide to leave, or stay and pretend I'm okay when I'm definitely not won't change the fact that I will be miserable either way." Lean muscles tensed even as she appeared to wither. "But if I go, at least I won't have to live with the pain of watching him live out my happily ever after with someone else."
Just the thought of it was unbearable. At this point, it didn't even seem possible.
"But then he would be miserable. Staying and sucking it up seems like the only option I really have, because then at least one of us will be happy. If I go, both of us will suffer, instead of just me."
She knew Sesshoumaru wasn't the least bit interested in his brother's happiness, but he seemed sympathetic to her loss all the same. Maybe it was payback for being his sounding board, or maybe he was genuinely curious with how she was dealing her loss. She knew he was struggling too, even though he would never admit it.
Then again, maybe he just couldn't handle having a human girl-shaped void today. Maybe she filled that empty place in him just enough to get him through this moment – even if she didn't fit it perfectly.
"But it will be so hard," she said again. "I just wonder if it's worth it, putting myself through that torment just for his sake."
"If both roads lead to your discontent, then what difference does it make?" he asked.
Turning to him, she was a bit surprised he was even feigning interest. He must really be desperate for an ear if he was willing to stoop to being considerate to her just to get it. For a moment, she actually felt bad for him.
But then she reminded herself that it was his own stubbornness that carved out that void. He didn't need to be suffering at all. Neither did his former ward.
"Why don't you tell me?" she snarked. "You were going to be miserable today wherever you spent it, so why are you here? Why not suck it up and go to the wedding, if only to make Rin happy? You didn't because it hurts, and now you're both miserable."
She didn't bother looking to see what was certain to be the promise of death on his features. She just didn't care anymore. In fact, anything to end the terrible pain in her chest would be considered a mercy at this point. Maybe suicide by Sesshoumaru wouldn't be so bad. At least it would be quick.
"If it was really worth it, you would have shown up for her today. But you know it would take more than that. To really accept it, you would have to keep showing up, keep lending your support day in and day out, knowing the pain it would cause you. Knowing that one of you had to sacrifice, and damned if you were going to let it be her."
She couldn't exactly admonish him properly, because she was just as guilty as he was. They were both running from their problems, their pain, instead of surrendering to it.
Though she would guess his absence today had more to do with pride than heartache and hopelessness – not that he was wanting in either capacity, in his own way. Whether or not he could admit, or even identify such feelings within himself, she was sure they were a driving force in how he weaponized that pride into the shield that it was. But that was a therapy session for another day.
"Inuyasha made his choice," she admitted grimly, "and nothing I can do now will ever change that. The only thing I can control is the way I respond, and it will only affect the role I play in his life, not her."
Resigned to her fate, all that was left was to talk herself into accepting it. That was what she had come out here for.
She wanted to come back to this era, and now she was stuck here. But she never considered having to build a life in the Sengoku Jidai without Inuyasha.
She felt so stupid for putting all her eggs in his basket, and now that he was lost to her, she felt lost too.
Of course she wanted to stay with her friends, but the wounds were painful and fresh, and watching him happy with another woman was agonizing. She wasn't entirely sure she could endure it.
She was rudderless; and without purpose, the life she always wanted by his side seemed very empty and cold.
"But what I want is irrelevant now." Midnight bangs obscured her vision, but she saw the world with painful clarity. "I guess it always has been."
It was futile to rail against it, to agonize. Her only recourse now was to accept it... or not.
She was certain she would choose to stay with him in the end, like she had always promised to do. It's not like she had anywhere else to go.
She just didn't see how she could do that, and ever be happy again. Perhaps it just wasn't in the cards.
Whether or not it was worth it in the end didn't matter, because it was just the way things were. She would have to make her peace with that, but she knew it was not going to be easy.
"I have no choice but to support him, because whether I am happy or not, he deserves to be."
She took a deep, bitter breath and closed her eyes. "He is not with Moriko to hurt me."
She knew it was the truth. It didn't make the rejection any easier. She would just have to keep admitting to herself until she was fully convinced.
When she opened her eyes, she was surprised to find Sesshoumaru still sitting there. He had been silent so long, she thought he might have tired of her griping, now that his turn was over.
He might have just tuned her out. He might have forgotten she was there, as his far-off expression showed he was still troubled. She wondered what he was thinking about.
"Rin isn't with Kohaku to hurt you either." She just wanted to put that out there, in case he needed to hear it. He didn't look terribly bewildered by the statement.
"I know."
She was glad that he did.
Their troubles were far from over, but getting them off their chests was cathartic, if nothing else. Though she knew it was more than that.
It was helpful to have a trustworthy outlet. She hoped he felt the same about her.
"Kami." Shaking her head, she was grinning ironically. "I can't believe Rin is married. Everything really has changed." She softened, taking in his sharp, exotic features. "Except us."
"No," he corrected gently, "we are not exempt, miko."
There was a warmth about him watching over her. Tenderness in the way he guided. Patient and helpful, and desirous of her to succeed.
She always wondered how Rin could follow him so faithfully – not because he was youkai, but because he was cold. Heartless, supposedly.
But that intelligent, molten gaze beat down on her like the noonday sun, and all she felt was safe, and acknowledged, and content with that. With him.
He emanated father figure, but she didn't see him that way. It was something else comfortable and nice that drew her to him.
Did he see Rin when he looked at her like that? Did he view her as a child as well?
Probably more like an estranged step-sister, she would guess, but she was not ready to mourn that title yet.
She feared she had been in arrested development since the day she left this place, but she knew she had changed too. It was just harder to see it so close up.
And though youkai appeared frozen in time, as he said; now that she looked, the difference in him was glaring.
Or was it the difference in her that could finally see him?
It didn't matter. It just was.
"Yeah, I know." Her mouth curved fondly. "Still, I feel like you are the only thing that makes sense to me right now."
Gazing through his hands as if he was trying to determine something, he looked somewhat contemplative. She wasn't expecting him to answer, but after a moment, he did.
"If you are speaking of consistency," he ventured carefully, "I appreciate that in you as well."
She considered whether that was what she meant, and settled on maybe for now. She laughed as the absurdity became too much not to comment.
"We're quite a pair, aren't we?" She turned to him, but he seemed to be done indulging her for the moment. It didn't matter.
She let him continue to ignore her, mouth set in a grim line as he watched over the vast expanse of countryside below them. It didn't affect her wistful smile, or the memories that encouraged it, and her eyes began to glaze.
"Things really do change in amazing ways," she mused, content with talking to herself. "Crazy ways, that you could never even hope to predict – or even imagine. I mean, if you told me back in the tomb, that one day we would be-"
"It is worth it."
Kagome tilted her head. "What?"
He shifted his focus back toward the horizon, confident again and not looking past anything. Sharp focus dialed into everything it touched, taking it all in with superhuman sight.
"You have been forsaken for another," he stated bluntly, "but the one you love is not lost to you completely - not yet. If you wish it, you may still enjoy a portion of the life you desired, albeit not as much as you had hoped for."
He looked her right in the eyes, and it was like staring at the sun, but left her paralyzed instead of blind. And speechless.
"It shall not be painless," he continued, "but it will be far less so than life without them at all. It will also not be without its rewards. It is worth it."
There was no room for doubting him- no reason to. He left her staring after him when he released her to her own cognizance, startled in the most glorious way, and awe-struck until a smile slowly made its way up her cheeks.
She was grateful that he found her here. His confidence filled her with hope, and she felt the first sliver of optimism since her delayed return to the past.
He believed those things he said, so she believed them too; and if he told her so certainly that it was all worth it, she trusted him implicitly.
For the first time in so very long, things felt like they could be okay – that they would. They weren't yet, but just the promise of getting there did more than ease or numb the constant tearing in her chest. It cured it. It felt better – good actually, and full once again. Even if it didn't last, just the reminder, just knowing it was possible, made her so incredibly happy.
Before her senses could return and warn her against it; Kagome lunged, closing the short distance between them just enough to catch the Lord of the West completely off his guard.
She abandoned her smile just long enough to eagerly press her lips to the center of his left cheek, below the exotic cuts of magenta and well above the firm line of his jaw, and took the pondering daiyoukai by absolute surprise.
It was quick, chaste - even childish, perhaps. It was instinct.
As she watched his whole body tense and his amber depths fly wide, she realized what else it was.
Thoughtless.
Dangerous. Stupid.
He needed a confidant on this difficult day, but he drew firm lines between human women and himself – innocent as they may seem. As he slowly turned to look at the face that had just audaciously pressed itself to his, all of that wonderful joy he'd inspired in her dispersed in a panic, weighting her heart down with so much dread that she could feel it settle uncomfortably in her stomach.
She screwed up; she could tell by the shock he wore so nakedly. If she wasn't so scared in that moment, she would laugh at the face the fearsome lord was making. Fear was surely keeping her breathing, for now anyway. Her face had gone white with terror.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she stammered fervently the very second she could form words again; though her brain was still not fully functioning, apparently. "I- I wasn't thinking... I shouldn't have-"
"It's alright," he finally deigned, mercifully. Fully recovered now, there was no evidence of her misstep lingering in his features. Though something in his eyes did look different.
Her fear seemed to mollify him – or was he amused? Either way, she didn't dare move under the paralyzing weight of his regard.
"I shall keep it."
Kagome blinked.
The kiss? Or his sword in his sheath?
At any rate, it looked like she would be keeping her life, so she decided not to press it.
She distantly noticed his lips twitch, but whether in enjoyment or malice was so hard to tell from him – and they were by no means mutually exclusive.
He had already returned his otherwise stoic facade to the rolling view she had come for, but it no longer held her interest.
She got what she'd come for anyway – as much as she was going to get here – and she'd been away long enough. If she didn't get back soon, someone would eventually notice. Today was about Rin and Kohaku, and everyone wanted her there to join the celebration. She would be grateful she could be. She was grateful.
"I guess it's time to face the music." Slapping her hands on her thighs – and in no small way hoping to move on from her embarrassing impulse - Kagome finally made to stand. "Thanks for the pep talk. You really bring things into sharper focus, Sesshoumaru."
After shaking the sleep out of her leg, she took a moment to brush the grass and dirt off her dress, counting herself lucky she hadn't stained it.
The still-seated demon continued to watch her out of the corner of his eye. "You are prepared?"
"Honestly, no," she admitted. "But you gotta fake it til you make it, you know?"
He had no response to that, but she just continued to stand there as time ticked by in silence. Finally, she grew tired of waiting.
"Are you coming?"
Her impatient question managed to startle the dog demon yet again. She was on a roll.
He only deigned to look up at the hovering miko to show her how thoroughly he'd been scandalized – yet again.
"Come on, you just said it was worth it! You're backing down already?" she teased. "Never thought I'd see the day-"
"I am not backing down." He was scowling. "I simply will not intrude. This day is hers; I refuse to sully it."
"Why? You aren't going to make a scene or anything." Less confidently, she added, "Right?"
The disgruntled demon neglected to answer her, and her worry mounted.
"... Sesshoumaru?"
"My mere presence will create a scene. I was explicitly instructed not to attend."
"So?" Since when did he follow instructions? It was a very convenient time for him to start, but it didn't matter. "Rin wants you there."
"The decree came from Rin herself." The statement was much too casual.
"What?"
"She asked me not to attend. Ordered, more accurately."
"That doesn't make sense." Dark brows knitted skeptically. "I know she wants you there. She was devastated you weren't coming."
From what she'd gathered, it sounded as if Sesshoumaru had been disinvited following his vocal and repetitive objections. He was told that the wedding was only open to those who wished to celebrate it, so unless and until he found himself in that category, he was blacklisted.
But with the sister of the groom arranging the event, Kagome assumed Sango forbade him from coming, not Rin. She never would have guessed that.
Especially because she had just been at the wedding, and saw for herself how somber Rin had looked. How with each passing minute, hope that her hero would arrive and offer his approval – even silently from the back – had dwindled until it was time to begin, and he still was not there.
She saw how even during the ceremony; the teenager would sneak a glance intermittently just in case he showed up. It had been a happy occasion for her, but it was clear his absence weighed on her.
She had no family of her own to attend, so her supporters consisted of the friends she'd made over the years. Kohaku wasn't much different, but at least he had his sister there.
Sesshoumaru's disapproval cut deep, but it was a double-edged sword. She felt terrible for upsetting him, but he'd also never let her down before. He'd disappointed her too.
Kagome had thought this had just been a case of Sesshoumaru being on brand - being stubborn and choosing to cover up his pain in loosing someone he loved. That all he needed to do was swallow his pride and accept that he wasn't getting his way so that he wouldn't ruin the bride's day.
But even if he wished to go, even if he relented, that Rin asked him to stay away... he would not deny her that. He mistakenly thought it was what she truly wanted.
She remembered the brief moment of joy on her face when Jaken emerged from the crowd of guests. She was almost ready to meet Kohaku in front of all her friends, and a flash of green waddled quickly to her. She looked around excitedly, but then saw the look on the imp's face.
'He isn't here,' he'd informed her regretfully. 'Lord Sesshoumaru sends his formal congratulations by way of his humble servant. He truly wishes he could attend, but something very pressing demanded his attention.'
He then presented her with an elegantly arranged gift within a very expensive box. The miko assumed Rin would be overjoyed – she always loved getting gifts from him – but she couldn't even muster a smile.
Rin knelt then, and leveled an admonishing look. 'Master Jaken, you should not have come. Sesshoumaru-sama will be very angry with you.'
'With me?' A sly smile played on his lips. 'Hmph, impossible.'
Kagome didn't hear all of their conversation; it was loud around them, and parts of it were hushed. But she remembered the strange mixture of sadness and pride on the cranky old demon's face when he looked up at the girl he'd help raise.
'He truly wishes he could be here,' he told her meaningfully.
'Then he should have been.'
'Yes,' Jaken agreed, closing his eyes. 'I suspect milord will regret this day for the rest of his life.'
She touched his head affectionately.
'I suppose that was unavoidable,' she smiled weakly. 'But he didn't have to drag me along with him.'
She straightened out her kimono as she rose again to full height. Another huge spirt had her almost as tall as Kagome. She was definitely going to bypass her.
That was the last time she'd seen Rin as a single woman.
"I made no secret of my disapproval," he said plainly. "I am not welcome at their union."
He did a pretty good job of keeping the offense he took out of his tone. It was almost undetectable.
"That was when you were opposed to it."
"I am still opposed to it."
"But not actively," she argued. "You've accepted it, and as long as you don't express your opposition, I know you will make her day."
She was sure that an insincere word of approval was all it would have taken to get in the door. He didn't have to mean it, but openly disrespecting her husband was a very bad way to start her marriage. Kagome was actually impressed with the girl for laying down the law like she had. She doubted there was any precedent for it. But 14 sounded about the right age for that sort of thing... if nothing else.
He looked like he was considering her argument, so she kept urging him.
"This is the part we control. Rin is married to Kohaku right now, that ship has sailed. Inuyasha mated Moriko," she threw in for good measure. She was going to have to get used to that quick, and hoped a little show of solidarity would guide him in the right direction.
"Now, how are we going to fit in? With them, supportively, or not at all?"
"I do not support them," he repeated. Disingenuous just wasn't in Sesshoumaru's wheelhouse – which was overall a good thing. But he was making this harder on himself than it had to be.
"Okay... how about just keeping that part to yourself? I know you can be silent- it's kind of your specialty." His responding look prompted even more advice. "And try and keep the glaring to a minimum."
But the stubborn dog dug his heels in. "I will not go against her wishes on this day. I was not invited."
His pride was a force to be reckoned with, but so was Kagome.
"Well, I was. And you know what?" she demanded. "I they gave me a plus one. I was supposed to find a date, and since the whole town is already there, you are the only one I can take."
"Very flattering," he intoned sarcastically, dismissing her with his eyes.
Yes, his pride was a very tough opponent. But she wasn't out yet.
Crouching down to his level, Kagome grabbed his arm with both hands and threw on her most charming smile.
"What? It's not like I would rather take anyone else. Given every choice, you would still be mine."
He studied her beaming face for a moment, before his attention drifted down to where she still held onto him. It was unclear whether he meant it as a threat.
"Please? I can't do this alone." She squeezed him tighter, shaking his silk-clad upper arm slightly. "I need you there for support. I need your strength to face your brother. Besides," she leaned in conspiratorially, "just think of how much it will bother him to see us together..."
Lifting a brow, he did just that. He almost looked impressed.
"You have become quite persuasive during your absence, clever miko."
"Nah, you're just easy to bait." As she grinned her victory, he could not deny it was beguiling. And then she winked. "Always have been."
She tried to pull him up with her as she stood, but she may as well have been trying to drag a boulder.
"Come on," she goaded further, very dangerously near ordering him. "I'll support you too."
She wasn't going to give up, and luckily, he recognized that. The next time she yanked on him, he rose to meet her.
*
The large property was flooded with people. Family, friends, holy men and women, well-wishers, ass-kissers, a spattering of demons, and lovers of free alcohol everywhere had been invited to celebrate the joyous occasion, and by the looks of things, they were. Success!
The beautiful garden in the backyard was where they made their vows, but most of the party had moved indoors with the music, food, and majority of the sake.
Sneaking out had been a breeze, but with her large, displeased, and notably banned inuyoukai shadow, sneaking back in was much more conspicuous. Some were too inebriated to notice him, others too preoccupied to care. Most saw him coming, as well as felt him, and did their best to get out of his apparent path well in advance.
Kagome smiled confidently as she led them through the huge hall. Passing table after table of delicacies both rare and renowned, her search for her friends had them approaching the spacious dance floor. On the other side was an ensemble of talented musicians they had arranged for the occasion, currently playing a popular tune that had many guests making use of the assigned space.
But most of the attendees were scattered around the venue – sitting or standing, with a glass of something or another, and having fun with other guests at what was going to go down as the social event of the year.
Rin and Kohaku were yet to be found, but with how many heads there were in attendance, it was not an easy feat. While scanning the arena, a familiar flash of colored fabric alerted her to where her friends were dancing off near the edge. As they smiled and laughed with one another, Kagome zeroed in.
Grabbing a striped wrist, she eagerly dragged him behind her through the crowd of people. Various looks of concern and fear blindsided the unsuspecting townspeople as his intimidating presence parted them like the Red Sea.
They were getting more and more attention as murmuring could start to be heard - she wasn't terribly interested in what they were saying, but she was sure he would tell her if it was anything important.
And he was right; just him being there was creating quite a scene on its own. It wasn't like these people didn't know who he was, or his connection to Rin, but she would bet they also knew he was not permitted to attend.
She'd been away for five years, so she wasn't up on all the hot gossip, but like always, she seemed to be pretty good at making it.
As they finally approached her favorite couple, a fondness bloomed within her chest that warmed her to her toes. They were happily enjoying themselves, having drank enough to dance with each other, but not yet enough to dance for a crowd. With how hard they had worked on putting this whole thing together, she was happy all the stress seemed to be paying off.
Miroku noticed her first, and his inviting smile beckoned her over. He faltered when he saw the daiyoukai hovering behind her, but recovered quickly and tapped his wife on the shoulder.
"Kagome!" Sango's slightly reddened face softened fondly, and she looked relieved. Kagome felt a little guilty for making her friends worry; it seemed like she had been trying to prevent that all week. "Where've you been? I thought you left."
The taijiya's excitement – and fondness - tempered once she noticed her unwelcome company, but Kagome ignored it.
"Nah, just had to get some air," she grinned. "And look what I found!" She ushered the demon forward to join her at her side, but his impassive façade did not exactly encourage engagement.
The amiable monk was the only one to offer greeting, and while Sango appeared annoyed at his mere presence, she had enough sense not to put words to it. An icy acknowledgement not so different from his own was all he would get, but he seemed more interested in locating the couple of the hour.
With so many humans in one space, it was harder to pick out her scent than it should have been, but he kept scanning.
A short conversation informed the miko that their toddlers were with the other children in the kiddie room, safe and sound, and that Shippo was dancing with a half demon girl he was friends with... the last they saw, anyway.
Before she could inquire about the others, the sight of Kaede dancing – impressively spiritly for her age – stopped her short, but that wasn't what had arrested her attention. It was the old woman's dance partner.
Dressed in their nicest clothing, the elderly couple was laughing as they concluded their latest number – and were apparently very comfortable to remain in close proximity.
How long had this been going on? And why had nobody told her about it? She vowed to get the details later.
Once she caught sight of her former protégé, the older priestess began excitedly making their way over; and despite her fearsome company, she brought her date along with her.
They greeted her warmly, but only passed a cursory glance when she gestured to her companion.
"Always bringing home strays," her old mentor quipped. "Will get bit if ye keep that up."
This tickled Totosai immensely, and he made no effort to withhold his appreciation of the remark.
It quickly became clear they'd already gotten into the strong stuff, and a beseeching glance to her side begged the vicious demon for mercy. If he started trouble now, that would totally be on her. She trusted him to behave and hoped she hadn't made a misstep.
But a little preemptive damage control never hurt.
"Please, I was the one who was missing," she reminded them jovially before turning back to the younger pair. "Where's the happy couple? We want to congratulate them."
"Making the rounds," Sango replied. Crossing her arms casually, her gaze flicked to Sesshoumaru before landing on Kagome once more. The corners of her lips started to quirk. "Probably ducked away for a little privacy; you know them."
"Hah!" Kagome laughed nervously, not at all amused with her friend's poking.
She had been hearing Sango's version of events here and there, but quickly learned it wasn't the whole story.
She was the protective older sister, and Sesshoumaru's rejection of Kohaku made a quick enemy of her. He declared Kohaku unworthy in no uncertain terms, but it wasn't personal. Any human male would have been deemed unsuitable in his eyes.
And even though he had fought beside them to defeat Naraku all those years ago, Sango still had deep-seated prejudices regarding demons. Shippo and Kirara were her friends, but she'd made it her life's work to rid the world of the beasts she was raised to despise. Sesshoumaru hadn't proven himself to her like his brother had, so she had blinders on when it came to his capacity for 'human' motivations, such as love and sorrow. Loneliness.
But Kagome knew he was capable of those things, even though her friend couldn't see the nuance.
But denouncing her only living relative sure didn't help.
The old swordsmith tempted fate again by laughing shamelessly at the obvious provocation, and another status check confirmed Sesshoumaru was definitely not amused - only the slight narrowing of magenta lids told her all she needed to know. Moving on quickly...
"Well, how about Inuya-"
"Hey Kagome. This bastard bothering ya?" The question was for her, but his menacing glare was aimed right at his brother, as usual. "Cuz he ain't supposed to be here, so I'd be more than happy to throw him out."
Still donning his trademark red, he had a much more sophisticated kimono on for the occasion. Tetsusaiga was not at his hip; as in a sign of mutual trust and respect, all weapons were to be left at the door. Sesshoumaru... apparently hadn't gotten that memo, but it wasn't likely he would have adhered anyhow.
Instead of a sword, the hanyo did have another accessory attached to him, however – his mate.
He'd broken the news to her in the hut they shared together, just moments before they were introduced. Moriko was a half demon, a wolf, and distantly connected to Kouga's tribe, surprisingly. Not the pack in the Eastern Cave Lands Kagome was familiar with, but a den down south where she hailed from.
She was not related to Kouga – Inuyasha triple checked to be sure – but her affiliation made the old rivals technically brethren. It wasn't any more volatile than his actual fraternal relationship; in fact, he would claim to be much more brotherly with Kouga than Sesshoumaru.
They had been getting on fairly well even before becoming family, and assisting one another in various skirmishes was how the couple ended up meeting in the first place.
She was cute. Agreeable. Nice. Kagome refused to say boring, because she barely knew the female, and she knew it was jealousy guiding her judgements. But she was shy and quiet, and just kind of... dull - around her, at least. Inuyasha surely saw another side of her behind closed doors, but that was not something the miko wanted to linger on for any period of time.
Shameful thoughts had filled her head the moment they were introduced. Thoughts of coming between them, or just biding her time. Making him realize he loved her more, and wanted her back. With their history, she was certain they had the stronger attachment, despite spending less time together.
Then, Moriko announced she was pregnant.
Inuyasha was going to be a father, and not with her, and if she wanted to win him back before, that was absolutely off the table now. She would not break up a family.
She cried that night - a terrible, restrained, quiet cry that was not nearly enough, but she didn't want them knowing how wrecked she was. They all had lives to keep busy with. They had all aged out of their teenage drama, and she needed to as well.
She was trying to be nice, but Moriko was not comfortable around her – not that she blamed her.
She knew from experience how it felt to watch her love – that exact one in particular – still hanging around his ex. She would not be the Kikyo this time... though at least then she might have gotten a kiss.
It was going to take time for any real friendship to develop, but you fake it until you make it.
She at least seemed to even him out quite a bit. He was calmer, more restrained. At peace. He was happy.
Kagome considered that maybe she just hadn't been good for him. Maybe she brought out those other things in him; stirred him up and set him off, and it was her fault...
Or maybe he just grew up. She felt so childish in comparison. All of them were going to be parents now, and she couldn't even find a real date to the wedding.
There had been a big push for her to bring someone, so she wouldn't be the odd man out. They all offered to set her up, but dance cards were already full for the event – regretfully, in some cases – and Kagome had no interest in whoever they could manage to scrounge up this late in the game.
Not that she wanted to date anyone right now, but whether they didn't want her to be lonely or didn't want her being a third wheel, neither were appealing reasons to spend the wedding with a stranger. Moriko especially seemed eager to pair her up, presumably to give her someone to focus on that wasn't Inuyasha. But maybe she was just being nice.
She vowed to find someone on her own – if only to placate them - while she looked for a present for Rin, but she hadn't had any luck in either case. No gift for the bride, no date... Then Sesshoumaru came along. Maybe it was fate.
Because the whole town was at this wedding, but the only one who mattered wasn't. She supposed she 'came along' as well.
"Well, if you're going to throw out my date, you're going to have to throw me out with him."
The stare down finally ended when she looped her arms possessively around his, lifting her chin as she claimed the space beside him.
The sight of the hanyo sputtering finally lightened Sesshoumaru up enough show his amusement.
"What?! Are you kidding?"
"No. Now please, for Rin's sake, let's all be civil." She stepped out between them, looking back and forth to secure an agreement.
He definitely didn't like it, but Inuyasha seemed to accept that he was powerless to stop her. He only had one card left, and wasted no time in playing it.
"You're right." He was smirking. "It'll be way better to watch her do it."
Moriko grabbed his hand before he could taunt his brother any further, which he held up and kissed before pulling her to his side.
"Hi Moriko." Kagome managed a small smile as she approached them. "Beautiful kimono."
"Hi, Kagome," she offered shyly. "Thanks, you too." Her eyes darted momentarily to the figure looming behind her, and she quickly lowered them in deference. "Hello, Lord Sesshoumaru."
Slit pupils cut skyward so briefly at the nervous greeting that Kagome almost didn't see it. Moriko definitely didn't, because her head was still slightly bowed, as if waiting for permission to lift it. She absolutely cowered before him.
Kagome forgot that was how most people reacted in the demon lord's presence. She thought he preferred it that way.
Any annoyance he appeared to be feeling suddenly left him, and his focus drifted away. For a moment, she thought he was trying to ignore them.
"Sesshoumaru-sama." The cluster of acquaintances turned at the sound of Rin's voice.
Done up to the nines in her wedding finery, she was almost unrecognizable. She'd been painted, her hair intricately styled, and fancy ceremonial jewelry still hung from her body - a far cry from an orphan's affair.
"You came."
Kagome didn't know how she was standing – she was getting tired just looking at that layered, involved costume.
At least Sesshoumaru could rest assured they were not sneaking into closets to mess around at this party. She wondered if Kohaku would even find his way through that maze by the end of his wedding night.
"Lord Sesshoumaru." Grabbing his wife's hand, Kohaku took his place at her side, just like he had been doing all night.
He looked sharp in his own costume. He looked grown, and when all eyes shifted over to him, his remained fixed on the hard gaze of the youkai Western Lord, and bravely returned the challenge he found there, chin high.
Rin squeezed his hand supportively, and he squeezed back, but never took his eyes off the threat so close to his wife.
He would never hurt her, but if Sesshoumaru deemed him unfit to protect – which he emphatically had - he could demand he prove himself by challenging him to battle, to ensure he was up to the task.
Sesshoumaru had made no bones about his thoughts on the matter. He openly rejected Rin's choice, and if he wished it, he could have hit the breaks on their wedding from day one.
But Rin was adamantly stubborn. She would not relent, no matter how many times and ways he presented his case. He could still challenge Kohaku to a fight even now... but Rin would not be happy.
The tension was suffocating as the anticipated showdown looked like it was starting to take shape, and the unease in the giant hall spread way past the small group that created it.
"Kohaku!" Sango's voice rung out as she clapped a strong hand on his shoulder. "Let's dance. You still owe me one."
That seemed to break the spell. The new groom glanced from his sister to his wife, who appeared to be a fan of the idea, so he acquiesced.
Miroku was quick on the uptake, so he turned to his best friend.
"It seems my date has abandoned me. May I borrow yours, Inuyasha?"
A friendly smile passed between the monk and Moriko that made Kagome ill with jealousy. Not only did she take Inuyasha, but she'd taken all her friends too.
"Just keep your hands to yourself, pervert," he offered as an obligatory threat, but as Miroku escorted his mate off to dance near Kohaku and Sango, Inuyasha's focus remained on the bride and his brother.
"Congratulations, Rin." Kagome's warmth took the edge off just a bit. Just enough. "It was a beautiful ceremony. I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks, Kagome," she answered politely. Not that she wasn't grateful, but her mind was clearly on the impending conversation with the Lord of the West, the results of which could alter their relationship for good. A few minutes ago, she didn't even think he would give her that much; but the pivotal moment was finally upon them, and they both seemed to be hurdling toward it as eagerly as they were dreading it. Kagome could read a room.
"Inuyasha," she whispered into his dog ear, "come dance with me."
However, he was looking forward to a show. "But I wanna-"
"Now."
He complained when she pinched his furry ear sharply between her fingers and drug him off to join the others - far enough away from the private moment, but still close enough to hear most of what was being said.
With a nod to the other dancers, she placed her hands on Inuyasha's shoulders, positioning herself so she could see if anything big happened.
But when she finally felt familiar hands on her hips, she smiled at the friendly face that greeted her.
*
Sesshoumaru didn't let his distaste show as he took in her appearance. Formal wasn't Rin's style, and he found it didn't suit her at all.
He could tell she was waiting for him to speak first, but worried she might not make it if he waited much longer – eagerness had her nearly bursting at the seams.
"You look..."
Childish hope was always something he attributed to her, but at this moment, he found that didn't suit her either. The anxiety lacing her aura was not that of a child, and neither was the way she presented herself. It stung in a way he had never experienced before.
"... very mature."
Her aura instantly lightened, and she smirked. "Thanks, you too."
The flat look he gave only tempered her foolish grin, and then her nerves were right back.
"Don't suppose you'd deign the bride a dance?"
She was trying not to fidget under his stoic expression, and failing miserably, as she awaited his answer.
"It is your day," he finally said, lifting his chin superiorly. "Considering what it cost you, how could I refuse?"
She ignored the barb as they stepped toward one another tentatively - this was bold new territory. He could place his hand between her shoulder blades while keeping a modest distance and took her hand with the other. The music was calm and pleasant in the background, but despite the generous wealth of space the other guests were affording them, they were not moving much.
She'd never once seen him dance, but she didn't doubt for a second that he could. Simple movements fluidly executed were nothing compared to how he fought, and he accomplished both with a deceptive thoughtlessness that made him seem bored.
"Did you watch the ceremony?" she asked, bending her neck back a bit.
"No."
"That's okay." And not a surprise. She smiled sadly. "I worried you wouldn't come at all."
"I had not intended to," he said. "As per your request."
They moved casually with the music, at his behest, despite the heavy conversation.
"I'm so glad you did. What changed your mind?"
Inhuman irises darted quickly to the side, and alerted her to another freshly reunited couple dancing not too far away. Rin had a feeling he hadn't been influenced by his brother.
"It's wonderful she's back."
Whether he agreed or not was for her to decipher. She knew him better than most, but even Rin had a hard time determining what was in the daiyoukai's head most of the time. She could recognize that emotion well enough, though.
"Are you angry?" He didn't need to answer.
"Yes."
Teeth scraping her lip, she asked, "At me?"
All-seeing amber that watched over her as a child was boring down at her now, but it wasn't the same. He was still looking out for her, still assessing her condition silently, but his concern took on a different shade.
Perhaps even he didn't know; he looked a little lost himself.
"No," he said more softly, and her relief was palpable.
"At Kohaku?" she asked next, extinguishing any softness she'd inspired within the demon in an instant, and bowed her head. "I'm sorry for disappointing you."
She grew sadder when he didn't refute it.
"Do you regret your decision?"
Rin's chin lifted instantly. "Not at all." She wanted to be clear – she was sorry that she had disappointed him, but not for how.
She held his gaze fiercely, and he realized she wasn't going to back down. Neither was he one to break from an intimidating stare-down, but he had other recourse.
"Hn. Should the day arrive," he effortlessly maneuvered the hand holding hers, leading her in a simple twirl before she was before him once more. "This One will be here to remedy it."
He reclaimed her so easily, as if proving that he could. His perfect control brooked no argument, but both knew it was faulty. Small fingers curled into the fabric at his arm.
"You were all the family I needed," she smiled weakly. "Which is good, because you were all I had."
"That changed." His focus shifted to the dancing siblings.
"It doesn't mean I don't still need you." Releasing his silk lest she deform it; Rin placed her hand on the much sturdier breast plate of his armor, and grabbed on. Shaking it tore his attention away from her husband. "I always will - nothing will change that."
He looked like he didn't believe her, or else just didn't understand. Desperation to accomplish either gave her a sense of urgency, as though she had only the duration of this dance to get through to him.
"But there comes a time when we need more from our family," she tried to explain. "A different kind of love. Children of our own."
"You think to lecture me thus?" he asked, raising an incredulous brow.
"I think you're ready to hear it," she teased, repressing a giggle and earned another flat glare from the demon lord.
But sometimes, she really did wonder if he knew how families worked. In the time she'd known him, he certainly never showed any interest in spending time with a female – and not for lack of options.
When it was obvious someone wanted to spend that kind of time with her lord, he either ignored them, played aloof, or just outright rejected them. He seemed happy with his little family just the way it was, but he had to know she wasn't going to be a little girl forever. She wondered many times if he truly didn't have those kinds of feelings, or if he simply didn't want to.
"Just know," she placed her little hand over the lip of his breast plate and grasped it, "that when you start feeling like you need something more, it's okay to act on it. I want you to be happy, Sesshoumaru-sama."
Imploring brown eyes could see he was confounded by her assessment; but he remained silent, and held her gaze to assure her he was listening - possibly because he didn't know what to say.
"Just because I'm growing up, it doesn't mean I'm leaving you all together. And maybe the next person you keep can be there for you in even more ways."
She'd cracked open his heart just enough to let a human inside. She hoped that someone would be able to wedge themselves in further, touch him deeper. The thought of him alone again was almost enough to make her call off the wedding – but she couldn't be his little girl forever, and she knew he wanted her to be happy too.
"I will always be your daughter," she vowed, "but maybe now that I'm grown, you will want to make some of your own."
His eyes slightly widened before he seemed to need to remove them from hers to contemplate this information.
"You're a great father, Sesshoumaru-sama. You have so much to offer the world." Her smile took on an impish quality. "I just hope you realize that while I'm still around to see to see it. I want to meet my siblings someday."
He frowned as the ghost of that childish hope he knew better taunted him once more.
Despite the fact he was leading, she drifted toward him of her own accord.
"I'm so happy you are here," she told him, squeezing the hand holding hers.
Though more familiar with him than any other living being, touching was still a rare and fleeting thing. When he had to carry her, or assess her, or rescue her in any way; it was permitted. But when it came to affection, she could count on one hand how many times he'd let his linger on her cheek, or her shoulder, or her head to express his fondness.
But oh, how many times she'd wanted to hug him, to express her fondness, and assure him of it. To let him know that somebody cared about him, and always would. She knew he would appreciate it if he ever let it happen; he would like it. But 'hands off the daiyoukai' was an unspoken but clear pack rule.
They'd never danced like this before – nothing of the like – so she got the feeling it was a goodbye of sorts. A parting gift and a wedding gift all wrapped into one. He didn't know it was only the latter.
"I didn't want to get married without your blessing, but you gave me no choice." Her distress was beginning to mount as the dance neared its end. "I'm really sor-"
"Rin," his stern voice efficiently silenced her. "what have I always told you?"
A youthful brow crinkled in earnest contemplation. "Jaken-sama is not a ladder?"
His lip twitched.
"Do as you please."
The hand on her back pulled her in, gentle and cautious in respects to his armor. Her arm hooked around his back to squeeze harder than he was willing to.
She closed her eyes, unaware that he had done the same, but tears not of sadness began wetting the seams as she felt a soothing rumble against his breast plate.
"You have always had my blessing."
*
Inuyasha didn't seem to mind as his dance partner leered very conspicuously over his left shoulder. Initially, he had been the one more interested in the spectacle of Rin and his brother, but as it sunk in, he found himself more preoccupied with another aspect of the wedding.
"I can't believe you actually brought him." Nose wrinkled, his disapproval, distaste, and disbelief were more than clear. He was thoroughly dissed.
"Guess you really had to scrape the bottom of the barrel on such short notice, huh?"
"Oh, hush," she admonished distractedly, but her focus was unapologetically on the other dog demon dancing with his ward. Getting on her toes to see over the hanyo's shoulder, she also looked to be aiming her ear in their direction.
"I mean, I know the whole town was already paired up for this like weeks ago, but anyone woulda been better."
"Inuyasha-"
"Hell, coming alone woulda been ten times better." He cut her a half-lidded glare and found he finally had her attention. "You'd look less desperate."
"Inuyasha..." she warned again, and the old familiar edge to her tone made his muscles tighten reflexively. His ears were flat against his head as he seemed to be anticipating something, but her hands only smoothed gently over his shoulders – where his necklace used to be.
"Please be nice for one evening," she said, fixing the fold of his fancy lapel. "He's doing me a favor."
A disapproving noise rumbled in his throat before he gestured. "Keh, looks like you're doing him one too."
"Look how happy she is," Kagome gushed. The difference in Rin was breathtaking, as she traded in her thinly veiled disappointment for true happiness at last. It felt like something had been set right. "That's how a bride should look on her wedding day."
Inuyasha turned to gawk with her, and couldn't find it in him to refute it.
"Guess you found her a present after all."
She brightened at the thought. Not only had she delivered, but she knew her gift was the most cherished of them all.
"Personally, Ida sent it right back," he supplied, "but some people just have really tacky taste."
She tried to look scolding, but it was impossible to keep the smile off her face. Apparently, not everything had changed. The brothers never missed a chance to take a shot, but they remained in each other's orbit, keeping tabs in their own way. If one needed the other, she held no doubts they would be there.
Waves of nostalgia were coming stronger the longer they danced. Smiling fondly at each other, old feelings sparked old memories – little things you wouldn't even remember otherwise – and unearthed a different round of emotions that could not remained ignored.
"Look, Kagome, maybe now's not the best time-"
"It's not," she interrupted quickly. It was also not the best venue.
She wasn't ready – inevitable as this conversation was. "Today is about Rin and Kohaku, and we should-"
"I'm sorry," he blurted, taking all the wind from her sails. "So sorry for the way things turned out."
Never one to apologize – especially without coercion - the genuine concern he displayed softened her defenses. She hadn't expected that, but wanted to hear what he had to say as much as she feared it.
"When I sensed you at the well, I was so happy and so scared all at once." He kept moving them somewhat awkwardly, ushering the conversation in the same manner. But he was earnest in each attempt, and his drive was his strong suit.
"I wanted you back with me so bad... I still do." The admission filled empty places inside her, but he wasn't returning her smile.
"But I know it isn't fair to ask you to stay, when-"
"You're mated?"
He saw the sorrow and loss coming from a woman who had already endured too much, but compensated for his regrets with determination – like he always did.
"I know this isn't what you wanted. I know you always thought..."
He never finished that sentence. Neither of them did. Things went unsaid between them for many reasons – assumptions, uncertainty, fear...
When intentions were never vocalized, they could never be disregarded, forgotten, or denied. They could never be crushed or unreciprocated. They could be whatever you wanted them to be.
And then, when they got torn to shreds, it wouldn't have to hurt so much. Or so they thought.
"I promised to never make you feel second to anyone ever again." The shame of his failure was written in his eyes. On his lips and chin. But he wouldn't run from it. "My mate has to come first now."
And her despair was written in her scent. In the rhythm of her heartbeat and the way she squeezed his shoulder. She clutched him and in response, he pulled her nearer.
"I can't imagine how much it hurts watch me with someone else," he said lower. "You deserve better."
His empathy was on point, but his accuracy was what rendered her mute. He had never been so observant, so attentive. It was as if he took responsibility of her emotions, and his role in them. It was as if he'd grown up. Outgrown her, perhaps.
"-but I'm still selfish I guess, cuz I still want you to stay with us."
Suddenly, the gravity of their predicament came crashing back down on her in the middle of the dance floor. He must have seen her falter, and tried to steady her in his arms.
"I know this is hard," he continued nonetheless. "And sudden, and really, really messed up. But no matter what you decide, I will support you."
She was unable to speak, so he scanned every inch of her face to tell him what he needed to know.
"I don't want you to do what makes me happy, if you won't be too. You sacrificed enough for all of us. You have to do what is going to be best for you this time."
Even though it had been five years, she still knew him well enough to know he was afraid, and sad, and that she was the only one who could fix it.
But still, he leaned in to put his forehead against hers, and made his voice just for her. "And no matter what, I will understand," he promised. "Take all the time you want. I will do whatever I can to help, so just tell me what you need, okay?"
Then, he pulled away, and simply waited. So much like his brother, she couldn't help but thinking, in the way he assessed her so keenly. Neither would appreciate the comparison, but that was just another thing they had in common.
She knew it was killing him to wait for an answer, but even if that answer was that she needed more time to think, he would give it to her without a fuss. He would endure the pain it took just to give her what she needed.
It was funny, because one of the things she'd been most cross with him over was how impatient he used to be, especially when it came to her. And maybe he still was, but he'd certainly gotten control of it. She was proud of him.
"She's good for you." Her throat was thick and raspy when could finally respond, but she managed to swallow it all. "I'm really happy for you, Inuyasha. I'm sorry I haven't told you that."
She instantly had a handle on traitorous tears, but his fancy red sleeve was already dabbing her cheeks with a gentleness that made her knees weak. He stopped dancing, and encased her in his hold.
"Yes, you did," he half-laughed.
"But I didn't mean it," she admitted, tilting her head up to find him smiling at her. "I love you, and if she makes you this happy, then I love her too. I still want us to be a family."
Many things went unsaid five years ago, and that was one of the big ones. 'I love you' was too loaded, too charged and meaningful that despite feeling it, it was never voiced aloud.
That was one of her biggest regrets. She hoped she'd showed him with her actions, and he didn't need to question it, but she wouldn't be making that mistake any more. He shouldn't have any doubt, but she was going to tell him anyway – every chance she got.
And as far as Moriko went, whatever she had done to mold Inuyasha into the man who held her now – who said such sweet things and made her feel wanted and loved – she could keep it up. All of this change had been for the better, and Kagome hoped that if she stayed with them, she would change for the better too.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, but the smile she gave him told him all he needed to know.
"Yes. I'm right where I want to be. Where I've always wanted to be." He relaxed his hold enough so they could resume their dance. As they swayed together affectionately, both of them were savoring it, channeling themselves in a not so distance past where they thought they'd never meet again.
"I thought things would be different," she confessed, "but as long as I am by your side, that will be enough. We will figure out where I fit together – all of us." She wrapped her arms around him again. His chest was warm against her cheek, and the strong, steady thrum of his heart filled hers with peace.
"I want to be in your life. And no matter what you choose to do with it, you will always have my support too."
She felt him squeeze her tighter, and nuzzled into him more. He radiated contentment, and it fed into her own in a perpetual feedback loop she hoped would never end.
The song they were dancing to ended, but when the musicians began to play another, the couple declined to part.
"It's not all so different," he smiled as he told her. "You were my best friend five years ago, and you still are now."
"I always will be." They squeezed again, as if wringing happiness out of one another, and finally pulled apart after a prolonged hug.
Shifting back into position, they settled in for another dance. Strong, clawed hands rested atop hips more mature than he ever remembered them being, while she casually draped her forearms over shoulders much firmer and more muscular than they had been in the past, she was certain.
She clasped her hands behind his neck, and as they gazed at one another, they both silently thanked the heavens that she was back.
Then something unpleasant washed over his features suddenly, wrinkling his nose and flashing fearsome fangs.
At her confused look, he leaned in, still looking very disgruntled.
"There actually is one really bad decision you've made that I just can't support you in."
Worry flooded her scent at the enraged sneer that followed, but she noticed he was not looking at her. His line of sight led her to the culprit, and she let out a sigh of relief. She should have known.
She could have melted at the sight of them. Sesshoumaru and Rin were more adorable than she ever could have imagined, and those brave enough get caught leering were rewarded with the once in a lifetime sight as father and daughter shared a dance at her wedding. She wondered if they would do it once more at her wedding, but for now, simply enjoyed the moment as it unfolded.
When Sesshoumaru visibly tensed, it made Kagome's hackles rise too. Panicked blue searched for what in god's name could cause the Lord of the West to falter, and she found it almost immediately.
*
He released Rin as soon as Kohaku arrived. He didn't need to stand to full height to look intimidating – the swords and armor did that just fine. Not to mention the smoldering look in his eyes, and his reputation to boot.
Rin delighted with glee at his sudden presence and threw her arms around his neck. The demon slayer hugged her back, but his focus never left Sesshoumaru.
Wary glances were shooting around the dance floor, and the trio suddenly had decidedly more space around them than before. Many prepared for the possibility of violence, wishing desperately to flee, but knew better than to run from a riled predator. So they tried to carry on albeit uneasily, keeping an ear out for the first signs of trouble. Or maybe the second.
"Kohaku," Sesshoumaru ordered sternly, "come with me."
"No."
Before Kohaku could take a step after his former guardian, Rin grabbed his hand and laced her fingers through his, anchoring him in place. "He's my husband. Anything you have to say to him, you must say to me as well."
Kohaku said nothing, but continued to hold her hand as he bravely held the daiyoukai's gaze.
"Very well." He advanced on the teenager, and though he looked very tense, Kohaku didn't waver as the much taller demon loomed over him.
"You protected her when you were children," he stated abruptly. "I expect that instinct has not escaped you completely."
"Yes, sir," he agreed, shedding a heavy layer of anxiety in a single breath. "With my very life, as I always have."
The rest of the room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as well when it appeared no altercation was immediately forthcoming.
"I recall a young man who, despite his age and breed, showed promise, fought commendably." He paused, and Kohaku was unsure if he expected a response. So he stayed silent.
"It falls to you now to demonstrate that my efforts were not in vain."
"I won't let you down," he said determinedly. He put his whole heart into that vow.
"I am not your concern," the demon threw back at him, unimpressed. "It is Rin whom you are beholden to now."
Kohaku smiled at the prospect, and relaxed slightly more. "I have large boots to fill. Luckily, I learned from the best."
Flattery would get him nowhere, as the demon lord's icy façade made more than clear, but he wasn't pandering. He corrected his own façade to reflect this.
"The time I spent in your charge changed everything for me. If it wasn't for you..."
He didn't need to say it. They all knew what would have happened. It was painful still to relive those terrible memories, but it only showed how serious he was about this.
"I owe my life to you, Sesshoumaru-sama. I only hope you can see even a sliver your influence in me."
His desire to emulate him had always been clear, but it was nothing Sesshoumaru wasn't used to. Demons from all over strove to touch his greatness, though he would admit, never from such a perilous range. Also, never a human - at least of which he was aware.
As he represented all that a mortal was supposed to despise, he had always considered the young slayer's obsession a strange one. Considering it now put an uncomfortable emotion in his chest.
"You taught me so much as a boy. You showed me how to be a man," he grinned at the irony, "Even though you're a demon. I want to repay you by being every bit that man for Rin, and more."
He wasn't as endeared to the daiyoukai as Rin was, but Sesshoumaru was still the closest thing to a male role model he had... the fact that he could never kill him like his father put him at ease in his presence.
He was also comfortable with the fact that if he had become possessed and murderous while in his presence, the daiyoukai could take him down. Though, for some reason, he'd never done so.
But now, he was standing in the way of something Sesshoumaru wanted, and it was not an enviable place to be.
"You know I wished for Rin to mate a demon." Looking down at him steeply, snowy lashes lowered to half-mast. "It is the first time she has ever defied me."
He tried to stand tall as the demon considered him as one would a persistent mosquito. "She is throwing her life away by making you her choice. I truly hope it is worth it."
His sentiment may have been genuine, but both teenagers looked like they had been socked in the gut, and he turned his head away dismissively.
When he did, however, he was greeted with the sight of his half-brother's back... and the miko he was dancing with glaring at him over his shoulder. She gave him a strained, expectant look, and he could practically hear her prostrating voice in his ear.
What they were doing was stupid, and childish... human – but most importantly, fatal.
It was also done. There was nothing he could do, aside from upset them on their wedding day. He found he did not enjoy it.
He closed his eyes briefly and released a calming, but very put-out, inaudible huff before turning back to the crestfallen newlyweds.
"Though if I had to choose a man for her to wed, I could do no finer than you, Kohaku."
His big brown eyes lifted from their dejected state, and shone with something hopeful and pleasant - just like his wife's. Kami.
"No other has been so brave as to enter my charge," a powerful hand rested heavily on his shoulder, "and I can think of no other I would have do so."
Somewhat in disbelief, the boy seemed at a loss for words. It was fortunate, as Sesshoumaru had no interest in hearing them. Instead, he leaned in closer, and lowered his deep baritone in a way that could be construed as a threat just as easily as certitude. Perhaps both.
"Do not disappoint me."
With a glance at a grateful and giddy Rin, he turned away from the joyous couple so that they could enjoy the rest of their party. He heard them smile, and then embrace, as if in celebration. And then they were kissing...
He needed to find a distraction. Immediately.
*
With the show now over, and all parties dispersed sans incident, the festivities could carry on as they had been pre-wedding crashers. The stress he kindly brought every guest as a party favor was set aside in favor of returning to the light-hearted and only slightly debaucherous activities of prior, and open spaces on the dance floor soon became few and far between.
Relieved not least of all was the miko, who had invited the explicitly barred, often aggrieved, potentially devastating demon warlord to what was supposed to be the happiest day in her young friends' lives, and practically shoved him in the middle of it. It was a huge risk, and perhaps a pretty stupid one to take, but it had paid off beautifully. It was worth it.
She was relaxed enough to enjoy herself now, laughing and still dancing with Inuyasha without pain in her heart for the first time all week.
Inuyasha's merriment was cut short when he sensed a powerful demon aura closing in, but his sour expression was made up for in spades. Kagome beamed at him over the hanyo's shoulder, only making her dance partner sneer harder.
"You may rest easy, miko; I have come to end your suffering." He was in a surprisingly good mood, and she suspected his brother's increasingly irritated state played no small part. Inuyasha refused to stop dancing or even turn to acknowledge him, so Sesshoumaru rounded on the couple.
"On which has he placed more strain - your toes or your patience?"
"Keh, whatever bastard!" he snarled. "She only brought you here out of pity." A sinister smirk taunted him as he pulled Kagome in tighter. "The poor girl has sacrificed so much already, but this time the fates were just being cruel." He turned to make the jab just as she stopped dancing, but when she tried to release him, he refused to relinquish his hold.
"Come on, Kagome, you don't really have to hang out with him." His smile became more genuine as he took in her radiant features, making her heart flutter in the way she had been desperately missing. "It's been forever. We can dance a little longer."
He attempted to pull her back in, but despite his charm, was met with resistance.
"Thanks anyway, Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru's my date tonight. I'd like to dance with him."
Her response seemed to satisfy the demon lord, and his smirk grew increasingly smug at the brilliant grin she flashed him.
She was impressed with how civilly he handled the confrontation, and seeing as how dogs responded well to positive reinforcement, she felt a reward was in order. There was nothing he liked more than one-upping his little brother.
Besides, she had promised to support him.
Inuyasha reluctantly let go as she made her way to his brother's side, but his concern went beyond being ditched, and she noticed.
Before she left, she put a soothing hand on his chest. "You'd better go get your mate before the houshi gets himself into trouble." She offered a wink, "You can only leave him alone with a woman so long before he can't be held accountable for his actions."
He gave a short laugh. "Keh, you don't know Moriko."
"You're right," she said, looking up at him lovingly. "but I'd like to."
It wasn't clear if her proclamation placated him more, or the soothing hand comfortably rubbing his shoulder. Either way, he was grateful, and a happy ending after all seemed to be on the horizon.
"You will," he promised, covering her hand with his. They shared a meaningful glance that both transferred to the patient dog demon waiting quietly at their side – albeit with vastly different messages in them.
Clearly not thrilled, but with very little to do about it, Inuyasha relented, and swept the dance for before redirecting his glower.
"Hey houshi!" he shouted irritably, stomping off into the thick of the crowd, "if you don't get your hand off my mate's ass, you're gonna have my cursed foot wandering right up your..."
The hanyo's angry voice and crude threats faded away until only the two of them remained; and like comrades in cahoots, they relished their success in a wordless exchange.
It was a small victory, but a badly needed one on both accounts. Even if no one else ever knew their respective accomplishments, they shared the moment together.
He offered his hand, and when she took it, he pulled her fluidly to him – mindful of his dangerous armor, of course. Her hand slid naturally into his. Guiding her was comfortable. Following him was effortless.
"How'd it go?" she asked knowingly, and adjusted her hold on his shoulder to accommodate the new proximity – his aggressive battle armor did not make it easy.
"She was pleased."
"So I was right?" she quickly goaded, armed with a smug grin of her own.
Lifting his nose higher, he generously conceded. "You were not incorrect."
"You're welcome!" She didn't even have to think as he led her to his liking, so she focused on other things. "Are you happy?"
"No."
After regarding her a moment more, his tone lost its edge. "Though I am happy you are here."
White bangs teased her forehead when she aimed her happy expression up at him, and he slid his palm through hers more comfortably. She didn't seem to mind it.
Instead, she was walking on air, reveling in a joyous little bubble in the aftermath of their success. He was loathe to pull her from it – he doubted he even could – for she really seemed to need the relief. He was glad she'd gotten it, and found he much preferred it to her earlier mood. Even if she was babbling.
"Me too. I wouldn't have done this without you. I don't know if I even could have."
He was watching on quietly from close range as she beamed up at him. Luckily, his participation didn't appear to be missed, or even required in this conversation. "... but this went way better than anyone could have hoped, doncha think? I mean, all things considered. I'm so happy you found me at the overlook. What are the odds? Seriously, if you hadn't-"
Warm lips on hers effectively stopped her rambling. She froze in his hold, blue eyes flying wide open as the firm press of his mouth caused hers to cease functioning all together.
It could have been a moment or a month, she couldn't say. Her body was all butterflies in some areas, and buzzing like bees in others, but her brain remained in blackout mode for the entire indiscernible duration. She didn't move a muscle as he finally pulled away, either too terrified or simply shocked stiff by his impulsive act.
He was studying her intently, eyes meticulously roving in search of... something. It wasn't clear, but she was afraid to react, afraid to do the wrong thing, even if she didn't know what that was.
Her rabbit heart was off and running, chest heaving with every breath and wild eyes still impossibly large as she just waited. After a moment, he lowered his gaze only slightly, if only to release her from his paralyzing stare.
"Apologies," he muttered, and resumed the subtle motion of their slow dance. His voice seemed to break her from her trance, and she all but literally shook herself back to reality.
She lightly squeezed the top of his firm shoulder.
"No, it's okay."
He looked back up to find her smiling, and previously startled azure sparked with something devious and alluring. "I'll keep it."
She relaxed in his grasp, and her new pliability had him subconsciously pulling her closer. She offered no resistance, but his ruthless armor was another story.
Slackening his hold at her resulting discomfort did not cause her to retreat. She stayed close, pressed against the unforgiving garment and running the hand he wasn't clasping along its treacherous upper ridge.
She came upon a thick steel spike that had her testing the sharpness of the tip, before wrapping her hand around the base to judge its firmness – and he assumed, assessing the danger.
"Maybe you should take off your armor and stay awhile."
He rose a brow in response, and her resulting blush told him she most likely hadn't meant to sound suggestive.
"This is supposed to be a peaceful ceremony," she explained, gesturing somewhere off across the room; but he was not interested in turning his head.
"Even the wolves and the panthers called a temporary truce. It's just a bad show of faith for a father of the bride to be so prepared for conflict."
She skimmed her fingers over the daunting row protecting his left shoulder next, and continued until she was grabbing the front lip of the bone plate – just as Rin had done, though it affected him much differently.
"Besides, once I break into the sake, I might get clumsy," she admitted, continuing to fondle his chest plate. "Those spikes are nothing but a hazard to a clutz like me."
"You think I would let anything hurt you?"
His earnest question put a stop to her perusal, and as she considered him, she gave it some honest thought.
"No, I guess not." She seemed surprised by her own answer, but he still removed himself from their dance – if only a couple of steps. A moment later, he was reaching for her again and looking a bit less intimidating.
But not much. And no less solid, she discovered. Without the cumbersome battle-wear, she could press right up against him and feel what he normally kept covered. She had the urge to explore him a bit, and he allowed the liberty as she made a few assessing passes over planes of hard muscle.
Once satisfied, she folded herself around his shoulder and rested her chin atop, and the adjoining arm wrapped around her waist kept her there. The heat pressing through his clothing as they swayed back and forth was more than she expected, and threatened to lull her into a comfortable sleep.
"I know you intend to make good on your vow to my pathetic brother," he rumbled, making her skin tingle as hot breath danced across her ear, "but before subjecting yourself to such a torturous existence, perhaps a respite would be beneficial."
"What do you mean?" she pulled back to ask, but his arm was an iron band keeping them connected at the hip.
"As of today, This One so happens to have a vacancy in his traveling party," he informed her. "The position of human female has been made available, and you appear to be qualified."
She was too taken aback to return his smile, or even attempt not to look stunned. He managed to keep them dancing.
"You may return to the half breed whenever you wish, of course, but I had considered you may enjoy a sabbatical to readjust yourself to life here."
It was so out of the blue, she had to decide whether or not he was serious. It seemed more likely than the other option, but she was still regarding him skeptically.
"I don't know if I would be a good fit. You know I'm not a little girl, right?" She was only half-joking, and in no way interested in being another place-filler. "I'm a grown woman."
His smile reached his eyes, and they seemed to be laughing at her... but not quite.
"I am quite aware of that, Kagome."
Another shiver traveled down her spine, and she couldn't tell if it was the criminal use of his velvet tone that deserved the blame, or the way he weaponized it to caress her name like that.
The shock eventually wore off, and in addition to having no coherent answer, she realized she still had his offer to consider. It seemed so crazy, but not at all unappealing.
"What would we do?" she chanced to ask.
"A healthy combination of what we wish, and what we must."
Already dizzy and out of sorts, now he was spinning her quite literally. A graceful twist of his arm sent the room twirling, until she was back in his grasp once more.
"Which would be...?"
He lowered his face to hers, and his volume to something above a whisper. "For us to determine."
He didn't seem concerned when she still failed to give an answer. In fact, he appeared perfectly content to continue their deceptively subtle dancing, coaxing her seamlessly with modest movements and flawless execution.
If she looked troubled, it was only because she was giving it serious consideration. She glanced up to find his patient attention already upon her. Or maybe it never left. Either way, she would swear he was enjoying himself.
"If it's just you and Jaken now, why don't you join up with us? Set up stakes for a little while? That nomad lifestyle has to get old sometimes, doesn't it?" Her tone may have been teasing, but her interest was genuine.
He made an indignant sound, turning his head away. "It seems you are on a mission to offend me at every turn today, miko."
"You don't seem like you mind it," she said with a smirk, and he didn't refute it. "You have to admit, I'm a pretty good distraction when you need one."
He didn't refute that either – the fondness in his features only gave her presumption credence.
"You can always go back to vagabonding whenever you wish," she mocked. "Maybe you are the one who needs a respite."
He huffed; quite certain she was stalling.
"The point is to get you away from the hanyo for a time," it seemed tedious for him to explain, but now she was appraising him.
"Is that the point?"
She slid her palm over his where their hands remained clasped; the soothing feel of soft skin gliding through one another was undeniably gratifying. He kept his strong grip loose enough to let her slip through it, and stroked smooth patterns into her flesh with his thumb. It was an unspoken, enjoyable comfort.
"Or you could just come be my pillar," she suggested, then grinned. "I'm sure Inuyasha wouldn't mind seeing more of you."
Instead of comment, he turned them to a new direction of his choosing, forcing her to follow and keeping her on her toes, where he liked her.
"What would we do?" he asked this time. She lifted her nose haughtily.
"A healthy combination of what we wish and what we must."
"Which would be?" He pulled her up against him until their noses were nearly touching.
"Figuring that out is the fun part." Her eyes were dancing as well. From that distance, all she could see were endless lakes of molten amber, also rife with amusement.
"Is that the fun part?" he asked lowly. She let their foreheads meet.
"It could be."
They stayed like that a moment, silent, but thoughts were loud and demanding. It was he who pulled away, and like everywhere else on this dance floor, she followed him.
"What does a village miko do when there are no jewel shards to collect?"
The thought of never having to worry about another jewel shard was a delightful one.
"Take care of people," she answered simply. "Keep them healthy. Heal them."
"And herself?" he wondered.
"If there's time."
That answer did not please him, but he glided past it nonetheless.
"And what of her duty to rid the town of demons? Exorcise them?" His features shimmered mischievously, making her giggle. "Inviting This One in seems antithetical to your cause."
These were all valid concerns, and required serious answers – many of which would not be easy in coming. But somehow, flippantly tossing out replies while dancing around like fools took a lot of the weight and consequence out of them.
Enough of life was hard and serious, and their last hurdles had been especially difficult. Before diving headlong into the next, a respite was definitely in order.
Life is not all trials; there is enjoyment to be had. But if you don't look, you won't find it, and that you will regret.
"Well, that's kind of my call," she said, and he made a show of lifting both brows. "So long as the demon behaves himself, I see no reason why he couldn't join the party."
"Ah, there we have a problem," tinkling laughter rung through the cheerful venue as she was twirled yet again. When back in his arms, one wicked fang was poking over his bottom lip. "This Sesshoumaru does not behave himself."
"You're doing pretty well right now," she pointed out.
"The night is young."
The look she gave him then stopped their dance in its tracks. It was like he needed every ounce of himself to take her all the way in.
"Entirely too young," she said. The hand on his shoulder slid down his arm, and she curled it loosely into his clothing.
"But it will be over before we know it." He lowered their hands slowly, and continued holding them below their waists before eventually letting go.
"Then best to enjoy it while you can."
There was something fierce instead of fearsome about his features in that moment, and they were so close, and focused so intently on hers. She would have thought it was the inu, or perhaps even the demon in him to lend such a ferocity, except that he looked exactly the way she felt in that moment. It was something else entirely.
"You would get to be close to Rin." She released his sleeve, ran her hand back up his arm, and over his shoulder once again. The other was soon to follow on his opposite side and she pressed herself against him. "You could see her as much as you wanted. Be part of the family."
She was leading him now, and he was more than willing to follow. Strong hands slid over the curve of each hip, resting naturally and comfortably when they found the widest point.
"Watch her bear children," he added reverently, pulling until they could be no closer; scissoring legs to accommodate them. "Raise them. Grow old..."
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she was straining to meet his height. He bent slightly to assist her, so she could squeeze him even tighter. So he could encircle her too.
"It will go by so quickly," she said breathlessly, burying her fingers in his silvery-white mane when he burrowed into the crook of her shoulder. He grabbed on desperately when she did the same. "I'd hate for you to miss out, have regrets. It will be hard, but still better than nothing, right?"
Despite being mumbled against his neck, she knew he heard every word. Knew he felt each letter form against his heated skin.
But she pulled away to look at him. She needed him to answer.
"Much better," he replied, and she released the breath she was holding. She relaxed her weight almost completely, leaning into his sturdiness. His grip was gentle, but firm as snowy bangs fell in her eyes. "Though, knowing now what I know, I do not think I would be inclined to repeat the process. Losing one whom I care for is not a pleasant feeling."
"So you're just going to stop caring for people? For humans?"
"Not necessarily," he rumbled against her ear, and lifted a clawed hand to cover one of hers on his chest. "I must simply ensure that the next human I care for will opt never to leave."
"... One who could choose a demon over a mortal?"
"Precisely."
When she rose up off his chest, his neck was craning. Hers bent back as he cradled her against him.
"I don't think you will have any trouble, Sesshoumaru."
"No?"
He was so close that she could feel his words on her lips. She twisted her hand in his, stroking each long, razor-tipped finger.
She tilted back even further. "You just need to find one who wants to be frozen in time. Who wishes nothing ever had to change."
"Does vagabonding through time begin to wear thin?" he asked softly, stroking her now as well. "Would such a nomad ever desire to 'set up stakes.'"
"More than you could ever know," she gasped, then became devastated. "But I have no other choice. The well is closed. I will never see my family again."
He easily broke away to hook a finger beneath her chin. He held her there, forced her to look.
"All the more incentive to start a new family."
"Yes." A claw gently traced her lower lip. "But I'm still going to miss them. No matter how much family I accumulate, people I love will always be out of my reach."
"Not necessarily." His knuckles were tenderly brushing her cheek, mesmerizing her with his delicacy. "There is a way, though it is a much longer route of travel than you are accustomed to. As I said, building family is the key." He paused his ministrations, "provided your choice is strategic."
Nimble archer's fingers wrapped around a twin-striped wrist, arresting it. "But I thought you were frozen in time."
His hand unfurled to rest flat against her cheek, and resumed stroking in small, soothing circles.
He dipped his head again, and she felt the brush of lips on her ear.
"That is only how it appears from the outside," he whispered, as if it were a trade secret. He placed those dangerous lips to her temple, making heavy lids drift closed as she hummed her contentment.
"So really, you're just the world's slowest time traveler," she mused dazedly.
"I prefer the scenic route." When she opened her eyes again, she saw him returning her smile. "Nomad sensibilities, you see."
"It sounds beautiful." She sounded to be in a dream as he held her cheek in his palm.
"I cannot recommend it enough." Sculpted demon lips hovered cruelly above hers, making her whine as she parted them. Each lowly spoken word fell softly upon moistened flesh. She could taste them with each ragged inhale. "Should you get the chance, I highly suggest you take it."
She could taste the way he felt, until each breath she drew was indistinguishable from his own. Until each heartbeat was.
"Should I get the chance," she murmured, open lips rubbing against every word. "I absolutely will."
His mouth slanted over her last syllable, absorbing it and making it his as slender, deadly claws slid delicately down her throat. He felt her contentment there, vibrating against his fingers, and his lips, and every part of her pulled flush against him.
She spent so much time regretting all she had missed, missing more in doing so, and growing to regret that. It was a vicious cycle that needed to end, and enjoying the time she had while she had it was the only way to break free.
She vowed right then and there to take things as they came, put her all into each moment she lived as she lived it ,and give not one second more for regrets – particularly those beyond her control.
After all, she was still young. She had all the time in the world, and many wonderful things to fill it with. With her friends by her side, she would face the future head-on; eyes, heart and mind wide open, and nothing ahead but promise and possibility.
***
A/N: Oh, but I am a sucker for those two dancing with each other! It's been way too long since I made them, so this was overdue. I am already plotting out their next number, muahahah.
But it will be a while yet for that. I have way too many other ideas to clog the interwebs with XD
For my next trick, I believe I will dispense something that is either AU, or AU-adjacent. Sorry, it's not up to me! Take it up with whomever has the remote to my typing fingers lol. Stay tuned!