I wish everything was as it should be had the jewel not existed.
Kagome looked around the battlefield and heaved.
This isn't what she had wanted. Wasn't what she had intended.
Her friends laid around her - dead and rotting as though they had been slain days, months, years ago instead of just mere seconds.
Her heart thundered and ratcheted while tears poured from her eyes in streams, screaming her anguish to the gods as she knelt on the blood and gore-soaked ground.
The sound of boots coming to a stop in front of her had her lifting her head, only to squint from the sunlight until a head blocked the harsh rays.
She wished he hadn't.
Sesshomaru stood before her, eyes red and marks jagged.
"What have you done?"
"I - I'm sorry - I thought -"
She flinched as he bent and roared in her face.
"You have no idea the repercussions of your actions. What you have now set into motion. What I will now have to right. Foolish girl," he snarled.
Tear continuously flowed from her eyes as she looked away, and to the nightmare, she had created. Her eyes seeing, but her brain only processing pieces.
Gold rings. A brown ponytail. Red robes. White fur. A teal ribbon.
Her breath became raspy and uneven, the utter destruction she had wrought - her eyes squeezed shut to blot out the horror created.
"Leave."
Her head whipped around as she looked to Sesshomaru, eyes wide at the command he had issued.
"Now, miko. Run."
Her heart stuttered.
Was he -
She didn't think about it a second longer. Scrambling from her spot, she took off at a dead sprint to the only place she knew to go.
Only to find that the nightmare was far from over.
xXx
Six years later.
Rain drizzled softly from the canopy above her. Its soft symphony playing gently amongst the leaves and foliage. The dampness that had escaped the natural protection of the trees had caused her hair to become slick, some pieces clinging to her face.
Her footfalls were nearly silent in the forest - to her ears, anyway. She could feel bits of dirt and leaves and branches crunching softly under each step. The swishing sound of her miko robes brushing against each other seemed to blend with the soft caresses of the leaves above her.
How long had she been walking now?
Days? Months? Years?
She couldn't be sure.
Images flashed across her mind as she tried to make sense of time before she shoved it all away. Time was of no concern. Not really.
She broke through the tree line only to be assaulted with the full strength of the storm that had been raging around her.
Strange.
Once upon a time, she would have been concerned. Would have felt the urge to take shelter. To remain safe.
Her feet took her forward.
The wind whipped her ebony hair around her. Wet strands causing a slight sting when they slashed across her face.
Thunder rolled and lightning crashed, and still, she continued. Her face illuminating in the dark to reveal the wraith she now was.
She had given everything, and yet it had not been enough. Now, she gave nothing and was stuck in her torment.
Funny.
At one time she would have lamented the loss of her heart - the loss of what made her Kagome.
Yet, that same heart had been the demise of everything she had come to love.
A monk.
A slayer.
A neko.
A kit.
A village.
A hanyou.
A well.
It was all gone.
Something wailed in her very soul, and she turned her mind's eye away. Pictured the memories being cased in ice so frigid and thick not even the hottest fires from hell could thaw it.
She deserved her torment.
Had she not made a wish -
Her steps quickened. Desperation urging her to run as the rain stung her face.
She might have scoffed if the panic clutching at her throat hadn't left her lungs wanting for air.
The irony of what she was attempting was not completely lost on her - running from the past.
She was the past.
Past, present, and future all wrapped inside of her mind and body.
Not to mention it's where she was. Fleeing from the very thing she was trapped in. Figuratively and literally.
A slow chuckle escaped her lips that soon turned into hysteric giggling.
Perhaps she was going insane.
Lightning crashed all around her. The electric currents in the air causing the hair to stand on the back of her neck.
A warning tinged along the edge of her aura.
Her feet slid as she came to a stop. Mud and grass tainting the white of her robes like the loss of everything she had loved had tainted her heart.
She slung her head skyward as large droplets pelted her face. Blue eyes narrowing, she waited.
Light streaked from the sky. Its target clear, as it dove towards her awaiting form.
Without giving it a thought, she reached her hand out, reiki playing along her fingertips.
The first touch of lightning against her skin was agony. She couldn't be certain, but she was nearly positive some of the flesh was melted down to the bone.
However, torment was something she was familiar with - her closest friend and ally.
Just as quick as it had come from the sky, she pushed the pain away and urged her reiki to pour into the bolt and shove.
Her power surged in waves as it overpowered the kami-created catastrophe away from her, and back into the storm above.
Pink, glowing wisps of reiki shined like a beacon, and she nearly groaned at her thoughtlessness.
Pushing aside the tinge of wariness she felt, Kagome raised her damaged hand to her face, and let out a hiss.
Her whole hand was nothing but charred bits of blackened meat and bone shards. Fire laced up her arm, and she fought a groan as she sunk to her knees in the mud, tears welling up in her eyes that she squeezed shut. She grit her teeth as she fought through the pain, and called on her reiki once more to fix the mangled mess.
Agony shot through her as her reiki urged the damaged bits to regenerate. She could feel the slow crawl of bone replenishing and righting itself. Could feel the burning as muscle and tendons stretched to cover the new extremities. Fought the urge to scratch as skin and veins formed to hold it all together.
By the time she was done, sweat covered her brow along with the rain. Dizziness assaulted her senses from the pain and exertion she had managed to execute.
Mind foggy she fought to rise. She knew she needed to leave. To get away from the evidence of her survival.
A prick at the outer edge of her senses told her it was too late.
He was coming.
She looked up at the sky as the storm continued to roar and rumble. Water droplets pelting her face as she considered how surprising it was she had even managed to last as long as she had.
She gave a self-deprecating laugh. She hadn't made it this far. He had generously given her this time. Given her this time to let her realize just how alone she was. How worthless she was.
Sighing heavily, Kagome looked down at the hand she had just healed. She should have just left it. Maybe then she could have done something to give her more time. At least then she wouldn't have been completely devoid of anything.
It was fitting really. She had taken everything from him, left him with nothing. It was only right she was left with the same.
Youki brushed against her in deceptively soft caresses causing the hair on the back of her neck to rise as goosebumps pebbled along her skin.
Blinking the rain from her eyes she turned to glance over her shoulder. If she was as she had been, she would have rolled her eyes at the unjust sight before her. There, not ten feet away, stood Sesshomaru. Aura throbbing and pulsing in heated waves that turned the rain into steam before it even touched him. It was like even nature knew when to bow down before a might greater than itself. She shouldn't have been surprised - wasn't really.
He always had a thing for theatrics.
"If things were different, I would say it's good to see you," she rasped as she rose from the ground, muddy water dripping from her clothing.
She turned around to face him fully, looked into guarded eyes, and an expressionless face as she excepted what was to come.
She huffed quietly.
"I've been thinking these last few minutes, something I've refrained from. I don't know whether to curse you or thank you."
His brow rose expectantly. The only sign of him not understanding what probably seemed like utter nonsense.
"I always knew you would come. That you would find me. Kill me. You're a male of honor after all. What I don't understand is why you didn't kill me then. I at first thought you were simply being kind. Giving me time to live my life for a short while before I had to pay for my sins."
His face remained guarded, and her eyes flashed.
"But then later on I considered that you wouldn't do that. You don't know me. You have no reason to do anything of the sort for me. When the nightmares started, I assumed you were torturing me."
Something stirred behind his eyes, and her own furrowed before smoothing back out.
"I suppose it doesn't matter. Not really."
Her body felt heavy. Weary.
"You are correct. It does not matter. My reasons are my own."
Surprise lit her eyes, and she nearly cursed him for instilling the curiosity that now boiled in her mind. However, instead of asking, she simply nodded her head - not truly understanding, but knowing enough about the Western Lord to know she wouldn't get answers.
"Well then, I figure we should get this over with should we not?"
His answer was the sound of metal sliding free as he pulled Bakusaiga from its sheath.
Her heart lurched in her chest, as her breaths became short.
His eyes narrowed, and something simmered in the golden depths.
"I will give you one last thing before you depart, miko. A truth."
Her head tilted ever so slightly to the side as his baritone voice reached her ears.
"Under different circumstances," he flashed in front of her, and she gasped as he leaned down to whisper in her ear. Eyes wide she let out a choked gasp as he pulled away. Searing pain licking her abdomen caused her to look down to see his sword buried to the hilt in her gut.
Tears worked their way from cerulean eyes, and she let out a wet, raspy moan as he yanked it free. Her world tilted on its axis, and she sank toward the ground only to have his free arm wrap around her, and keep her upright.
She hissed even as a breathy laugh bubbled like the blood in her lungs.
"Only you would say something like that at a time like this."
"Hn."
The sound of metal thunking to the ground barely registered in her mind before he bent, and lifted her into his arms before he sat in the mud. His hands arranging her to sit in his lap as though he had done it a million times before.
"Know this, miko. I did not wish for this end."
Her breath was wet and uneven. Her chest felt like someone had parked a train on top of it. The pressure was nearly unbearable. All the while, fire burned her stomach from the wound his sword had caused as his poison ate away at her flesh and organs.
"I - I kinda got... that."
Something like a huff escaped him as he looked down at her. Golden eyes swirling once more with something now identifiable.
"Indeed."
She wheezed, each breath becoming more difficult.
"Y - you know I'm getting b-blood all over you, r-right?"
"It is of no consequence," he said, not even bothering to look.
Pain slithered through her body as she closed her eyes, focusing on the way his warmth seeped into her instead.
The sound of his baritone voice had her opening her eyes once more.
"I had not intended to ever pursue you, miko. You were not to blame for what happened that day."
She tried to laugh, but it came out as a horrible, mind-numbing cough that sent blood splatters to the mud.
"Y - you don't have to - to do that. I know what it cost you."
A memory of a little girl with her hair tied to the side flashed between them, and she felt the ever so slight tensing of his muscles before he relaxed once more.
"I agree that the outcome was unsatisfactory. However, you did not wish for her to be no more. You did not wish for any of them to cease their walk with the living. Your wish, unselfish as it was, needed balance. Without the evil of the hanyou, the gods had to set about creating that balance once more. Theoretically."
She shifted, causing her to groan painfully which in turn had Sesshomaru tightening his grip so that she would cease her movements.
"However, although human, Rin was still a ward of The West. The council demanded payment. If I could not properly protect a human, nor dole out the necessary justice for the life taken, my rule - my lands - would have been seen as weak. That I would be unsuited for caring for the responsibilities."
His head tilted down to gaze at her, the silent message seen in the distraught lining of his brows.
"I did not wish for this, miko."
She nodded her head or attempted to. Every part of her felt like it was weighted, and darkness was creeping along her vision.
"I - I understand, and I don't - don't blame you."
Inky blackness gripped her in its loving embrace, and pulled her down into its depths, encasing her in infinity as the last of her life's blood dripped into the ground now coated in the last lingering essence of herself.
xXx
Sesshomaru sat frigidly as he listened to the miko's heart.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
Thu -
Complete and utter stillness came from the quickly chilling body he now clung to - the soft pitter-patter of rain the only noise for miles.
Something released in his chest just as quickly as determination latched on.
Easing from his position, he gently laid the miko on the rain-soaked ground - bending to press his lips to her forehead.
He rose, movements appearing fluid and elegant even with the grime from the earth, and the miko's blood covering him.
He reached for the sword at his hip, Bakusaiga long forgotten, and starred at the absolute atrocity he had caused.
He had not wanted this. Had wanted the opposite, in fact, but customs and laws, written long before even his grandsire had been thought of, had made this moment inescapable.
His enemies would have used it against him, the other lords, his generals - even his mother would have curled and snaked her way in.
His father though -
Golden eyes looked to Tensaiga, and he found the upturning of his lips was genuine.
As the shades of reality bled away, he gazed at the minions attempting to take what would be his and sneered.
With a flick of his wrist, Tensaiga sliced through the harbingers, watching as the chains holding the miko's soul faded away, and reality righted itself once more.
The sound of Tensaiga sliding into its sheath seemed to echo in the clearing as he watched with ill-concealed anticipation.
His eyes narrowed in on flesh knitting itself back together, and blood flowed in reverse from the ground; creating small red rivers as it reached for its host.
For what seemed like an eternity, he stood witness to life recreating itself. As skin that had once been pallor began to glow; as ebony tresses that had been flat and dull began to shine; as organs that had ceased all movement began to pump and flow and live.
With a large intake of air, the miko shot upright, and he dove for her choking form as air attempted to make its way back into her lungs.
Clawed hands reached for her face, as he pushed wet, clinging strands of hair away in an attempt to see the eyes she now unintentionally kept hidden from him.
After a few moments of gathering herself, he felt the warm flesh of her hand circle one of his wrists, the other at her chest. Slowly she opened her eyes and glanced around - confusion evident in the crease between her brows.
"Wha - "
"I have completed my duty."
Finally, her eyes shot to his, and he felt his spine tighten even as his shoulders slightly sagged.
She was alive.
"But - "
"The law states you must die. Not that you must stay that way."
He saw her eyes dart to Tensaiga as realization crashed into her.
"Why?"
He inhaled, the soft tones of her scent wafting around him caused his eyes to droop half-mast.
"Because your death is equal to my own."
He watched as understanding swam across her vision, as her muscles coiled and relaxed all at once.
Her head turned to the side as she chewed on her lip, golden eyes narrowed in on the action, and the subsequent response it invoked in him.
"I - I don't know if that is such a good idea. I mean, I caused her - Rin - to die. Right now that may not matter but in five years? Ten? A century?"
She shook her head as she turned tear-filled eyes to his.
"I don't want you to hate me later on."
"That is inconsequential. If you so desire it, we may take our time. Learn each other, and aid one another in the healing process. I am not blind to the plights that haunt you, miko."
He grazed a claw down her cheek, enjoying the subtle shiver of her body as she responded to him.
"It is not something that must be done right at this moment. Or anytime in the near future. We may choose our timing, create our own path."
He rose, a hand reaching for her own to pull her up with him.
"Come. Stay in The West. See my home, and what I have to offer before making a decision. If nothing else, come as a - friend."
His head dipped low to whisper in her ear, just as he had done mere moments ago, although it now felt like a lifetime.
"Had our circumstances been different, I would have found a way to make you mine after the horrid battle with the spider hanyou."
He heard her sharp intake of breath before she sagged forward - in acceptance or defeat he wasn't certain - and gripped his haori. Her small hands fisting in the ruined material.
"Okay," she whispered. Her agreement was so softly spoken, his ears had to strain to hear it.
He pulled away to peer down at her face, and saw the insecurity and hesitancy in her gaze; however, there was something else there, taking root so that it may keep her grounded. Keep them both grounded.
"I do want to know one thing though before we leave to wherever it is you're taking me."
His brow arched expectantly as her nervousness and confusion floated around them.
"If you were supposed to kill me, because of - everything. Won't they all still see you as weak for bringing me back? For not leaving me - well, dead?"
Ah.
"It will not be a concern. While there are sure to be a few who will see it that way, it was unsurprising to find that the majority agreed with my sentiments."
Her head cocked to the side, causing damp strands to sway with the motion.
"And what sentiments was that?"
"Even though the loss of life was - unsettling, the wisdom of the wish, and what it subsequently cost it's barer, was punishment enough. Yet, the law is written so that those who rule, must uphold it regardless of the situation, individual, or circumstances regarding any incident."
His gaze flickered to the sword at his side before looking back to the miko, "I believe Tensaiga, whether my father knew of this moment or not, was created for this possibility. That I, or someone of my line, would need it for a situation such as this."
His mind drifted back to his father's last words, and for once, he did not recoil. Because although he had been the one to do it, a sight that would haunt him for the rest of his near-immortal life, he was able to rectify and protect the life of the one he held most dear.
The feel of the miko's palm on his cheek pulled him from his inner musings, and he focused on the woman before him.
"While I'm in no way ready for any kind of romantic relationship, I won't always be, but I think - for now anyway - I would like to be your friend."
She smiled shakily, and though it showed her insecurity, he rejoiced.
Having her as a companion would be increasingly more preferable to a life without her at all, and should time continue to be an issue regarding the progress of their relationship, he could always go to Bokuseno to find a solution that didn't revolve around an immediate mating to prolong her life.
"That would be acceptable," he nodded his agreement, allowing the smallest upturn of his lips to spread into a grin.
And so, the end of a tragedy began the beginning of a bittersweet romance as the Western Lord wrapped his arms around the Shikon Miko, and she, in turn, embraced him.