Chapter 1
"Just a few more steps, Kagome."
"Come on guys. Is this really necessary?"
She was whining, but truth be told she had never been so excited. A dark fold of cloth covered her eyes. She couldn't see a thing. Well, not any real images anyways. She could see wisps of light here and there. Foggy images of foliage as they drew energy from the earth. A spark of fire to her right that was holding her steady by the arm could only be Inuyasha. A swirl of blue to her left the Monk Miroku. Sango was there, but her Human light was only just on the edges of Kagome's senses. The Taijiya appeared as a shade, something not quite as dark in the black behind her eyes.
Kagome's friends had met her the moment she climbed out of the well. They knew she was coming. It had been almost three weeks of final exams, but she had done it. Higurashi Kagome was now a highschool graduate.
With the destruction of the Shikon it had been possible for her to attend classes again. In a little less than a year Kagome had managed to salvage her horrendous grade point average. And, surprisingly enough, she discovered that even with a less than stellar performance, her status as a practicing Miko in her time gave her access to an array of scholarships and admissions. She was all but guaranteed placement in a University of her choosing thanks to the old traditions.
Speaking of old traditions…It seemed that even in the Feudal Era it was customary to throw a party for friends and family when they graduated. Kagome had already been to the ceremonies. She had already received gifts from her mother and grandfather. She had even gone along with the crazy all-nighter that Yuka had planned. Now she was with her friends in the past, and they had something of their own planned for her. Kagome really had no idea what. She didn't know why they had blindfolded her. She wasn't even sure where they were going. But it was exhilarating, and she thanked them for it all even without knowing what.
"Are we almost there?" The suspense was killing her.
"Almost." Sango's voice.
"Geese, woman. Just keep you pants on will ya?"
Kagome didn't even have to see his face to know that Inuyasha was doing his best to hide his smile. He sounded almost as excited as she felt. Giggling like the schoolgirl that she was, Kagome just hugged his arm tighter.
Suddenly, a vivid flash across her mind stopped her dead in her tracks. Kagome turned, trying to fix its position. Something was there. Someone? She wasn't sure. It had only been a second. Less. Where was it? And what?
"Kagome?"
Inuyasha's voice. Right beside her. No longer playing, it had grown hard, cautious. Kagome looked through her blindfold, seeing the play of sparks surrounding form that was him.
"Don't you sense something?" she asked. "There was something there just now."
She tried to focus on it, to remember where it had been. She could feel the tight coil of Inuyasha's muscles beneath her fingers. His arm was flexing, his hand no doubt reaching for his sword.
"Keh." Suddenly he just relaxed. He turned back to where they were going and pulled her with him.
"Inuyasha!"
"Forget about it. It wasn't nothin'."
He was pulling her too hard. Kagome stumbled in the darkness. "Damnit, Inuyasha! Would you wait!"
But he didn't, and Kagome had had enough. She dug her heels in hard and pulled her arm away from his. Once free she reached up and pulled off the blindfold.
"Kagome, no!"
Sango's protest was noted, but Kagome wasn't listening. She faced Inuyasha.
"What on earth has gotten into you?"
"Me?" He was offended that she would even ask. "I'm not the son of a bitch that went and ruined your surprise!"
"My…" In a daze Kagome's sight traveled back across the field. There was nothing there except a few farmers in the rice fields. Beyond that a small rise before the trees of Inuyasha's forest took over. A mile or two of nothing but open field, but she had been so sure.
Then it hit her.
"Sesshomaru."
No one and nothing could piss Inuyasha off quite so easily, not to mention hit her senses so hard and be there and gone so quickly. Kagome laughed shortly and shook her head.
"Why didn't you just say so?"
"That bastard's got no business being here."
Inuyasha refused to look at her, but he was giving himself away. The breeze caught his hair, streaming strands of silver towards the fields. He was upwind. His nose hadn't caught the scent of his brother. He would have been caught off-guard if it hadn't been for her.
"Come on, Inuyasha." Kagome set her hand on his arm. She gently coaxed him to let her take it again in hers. "I still want to see my surprise."
Her voice purred like a vixen's in his ear. Her body weight settled against his arm. He could never deny her.
"Come on then."
They had brought her to the outskirts of the village. Endo was expanding rapidly. Soon it would be more than village. Soon it would more than a town. And soon enough it would be more than a city, part of the largest metropolis in the world.
Sango and Miroku had built themselves a home here. They had a child now after all, and another one soon on the way. Kagome could see the modest little hut now. It always made her smile. Not the fact that her friends had made a home, but for the little flower boxes that dotted the lawn. It just seemed so funny to her to see Sango, the girl she had come to know for getting covered in all the worst kinds of demon slime, spending her time smelling the roses. There was a small part of her that often wondered if it wasn't Sango that tended the little garden. Miroku always did have that special little flair for eccentrics.
"Is Kaede watching the baby?" Kagome asked.
Sango shook her head. "Kaede doesn't leave her hut much anymore. Rin has been watching him for us lately."
"Rin?" Sometimes it was so easy to forget how fast they grew. Kagome's own brother surprised her every day. "How old is she now? Eleven?"
"Twelve and a half."
Kagome giggled. "Twelve and a half?"
"And don't you forget it." Sango warned. "She sure doesn't let us forget."
"Ah, the mysteries of a woman coming of age." Miroku must have missed the death glare Sango was shooting him. Either that or he was just very well-practiced at ignoring it. "Soon enough we will be finding a husband for young Rin."
Kagome really didn't want to ask. The subject was just a bit too touchy. And Inuyasha a bit too close. But she did anyways.
"You think that she would actually get married?"
Surprisingly enough, it was Inuyasha that answered.
"Good luck with that," he said with a snort. "That bit is just as annoying as you. And just as mouthy."
"Hey!" But he was smiling, and Kagome just couldn't be mad at him. "Whatever. But you just remember that one little word slip from my mouth and you're eating dirt at my feet."
With a carefree roll of his shoulders, Inuyasha only shrugged. Kagome had to admit it was a pretty lame threat. The Hanyou had eaten so much dirt over the years as a result of her subjugation spell she was beginning to suspect that he had developed a taste for it.
"Well, here we are."
Sango brought the group to a stop in front of a new-build next to her own house, but Kagome wasn't sure what to make of it.
"New neighbors?" she asked curiously.
Miroku moved to stand next to his wife. His smile was as wide as Sango's as he put his arm around her shoulders, if not a little more devilish.
"You did say that you would be spending several months with us this summer," he said. "We thought that you would be more comfortable if you could have some privacy."
Kagome blushed at the insinuation. All that was missing from Miroku's statement was an indiscrete wink. Still, she was smiling.
"You guys built this for me?
It was almost too much, but at the same time almost enough. In the year following the destruction of the Shikon, Kagome had struggled with her connection to the past. Her duty was over, the Shikon destroyed, but she just couldn't give it up. When the well had closed after the fight she had been devastated. She couldn't let it go. When it had opened again after what seemed like forever she had been so ecstatically happy. But as time passed she couldn't help but wonder if she was doing the right thing in returning.
She didn't really belong in their time. Not really. But it was here that she felt the most at home, here where she could be accepted for the Miko that she was, where her powers were needed, where she could be all of herself without having to hide. Now they were giving her a reason to stay. A place of her own. A chance at a real life beyond the battles.
Tears welled in her eyes. She was speechless. So happy.
They led her on a tour, but Kagome was in a daze. She saw the rooms – two bed, a sitting room, a kitchen, cold storage beneath the foundation – but she didn't really see them. She saw the tiny details – a table carved so intricately of solid wood, a bed raised in the western style like her own at home instead of a Tami mat on the floor, even a place of honor above the hearth for her bow – but all of it just seemed to blend together in a haze of pure joy.
"It's all so wonderful."
Words just couldn't express all she felt. Kagome gave into her emotions. She pulled Sango into a tight hug. Her tears stained the Slayer's gown.
"No one deserves it more than you, Kagome."
"Ladies, ladies," Miroku was never one to miss out on a group hug. He wrapped his arms around them both. "Let us not waste such affections with tears."
For one brief shining moment, Miroku felt the heaven of two glorious bottoms in his grasping hands.
"Miroku!"
"Hentai!"
The girls were quick to dislodge the Monk from their rears. He landed sprawled on the planked floor only half-conscious, but conscious enough to be smiling widely.
Inuyasha scoffed. "Idiot Monk. Don't you know better by now?"
"Not all of us can be quite as restrained as you, Inuyasha."
Miroku was still grinning like a meerkat, and Sango could only shake her head at her husband's debauchery. He would truly never learn, but she was okay with that. She loved him just as he was.
"He's right, you know," she told Kagome. "Now's not the time for tears. Come on, I've got some food and drink ready for us."
"Sounds great." Kagome's smile hadn't left her. "Let's get this party started."
Good friends made for even better company. With food and drink to keep them satiated, they talked and laughed and shared stories well into the night. It was just like old times.
Except…
"I wish Shippo was here. Have you seen him lately?"
"Little runt thinks he can pull his tricks off around here," Inuyasha groused. "I taught him different."
Kagome looked to Sango for an explanation, but the Slayer just waved it off. "Shippo's fine. He's learning a lot from the Kitsune School. Teaching them a thing or two, too. They're lucky to have him, and I think they know it."
"We were lucky to have him," Kagome added. She loved her little Kit dearly.
Miroku raised his glass. "To Shippo."
The others joined him, lifting cups of Sake – water for Sango.
"To Shippo."
Kagome drank to a friend that couldn't be with them tonight. But as she did, she couldn't help but wonder about one that had been.
"Inuyasha?" she asked. "What was Sesshomaru doing here?"
The Youkai was something of a recluse. Sesshomaru usually only showed himself when there was something big on the line. Even Rin rarely saw him anymore and she had traveled with him for so long.
The distance must have been hard on the girl, but she never said a word about it. Then again, she was probably used to his neglect. Or was it nurturing from afar? His way of letting her grow on her own in the Human world? Either way: she loved him. Perhaps like a father. Perhaps as something more. Yet she would not say a word about his absence. She would praise him occasionally, but that too seemed to have lessened as time went by. Maybe the others were right. Maybe the girl would soon take a husband. Maybe she would leave behind the dangerous games of myth she had played as a child.
But that still didn't explain his sudden appearance, or his equally as sudden departure.
"What makes you so sure it was him?" Inuyasha asked tersely. "You got a tap on him or something?"
"What? No. Of course not. I just-"
"Well," Miroku interrupted with an obscenely loud, stretching yawn. "It looks like it is about time I got my little wifey here home." Kagome shot him a look but he paid it no heed. He stood, helped Sango to her feet, and then smiled a dopey, lopsided grin at Kagome. "I am sure you have things well in hand here, Lady Kagome." A subtle glance at Inuyasha left the Hanyou growling sub-audibly and Miroku smiling even wider. "We will, no doubt, be hearing from you in the morning. Pleasant dreams."
Kagome was trying very hard to ignore the Monk's not-so-subtle insinuations. It should have been easy after all the years she had spent with the letch. But a part of her just couldn't ignore it. For the first time in over four years she had a place of her own. Privacy from the outside world.
Her goodbyes were stiff, strangely formal for being among friends. And as she said them, Kagome couldn't help but get the feeling that the couple's smiles as they left were just a little too knowing, like they held a secret she just couldn't grasp.
"Thank God that's over," Inuyasha said once the others had left. He was leaning on the doorframe watching them go, but he didn't make to leave after them.
Kagome took the hint. She closed the door behind Sango and Miroku, but she didn't miss a beat in scolding the foul-mannered Hanyou.
"That's not very nice, Inuyasha. Sango and Miroku are our friends. They're more than welcome here. Especially since they helped build this house."
"Some help," Inuyasha scoffed. "Barking out orders from the sidelines while they played with their brat hardly counts as 'helping'."
"You did all this yourself?"
He shrugged off her gratitude. "You needed a place to stay."
"Oh, Inuyasha…"
Kagome knew that he could never say that he had done it all for her. He was too proud, too stubborn to ever admit he had feelings like that. But she knew. She had always known.
She closed the step of space between them and hugged him close. She felt his arms enfold her and she knew joy like no other.
"I'm happy anywhere as long as you're with me," she whispered against him.
She looked up from his chest to find his eyes, amber light in the dim shadows of the hut. He was looking down at her as she was up at him and she knew she would never want to be with any other.
"Stay with me tonight." It was a question, her voice begged him to; but it was an invitation as well.
She sealed it with a kiss. Lifting herself onto her toes, Kagome pressed her lips to his. Soft, timid at first. Then his arms pulled her closer, lifted her up against him, and it grew deeper.
The world slipped away. It was just him and her and the cloak of night around them. She fell into it, into him. She let his kiss wash away everything else. His body pressed against hers and she could feel the heat inside of her spreading. His breath and hers became one. The beat of their hearts sounded together.
It was perfect.
And then it was not.
With no warning Inuyasha pushed Kagome away roughly. She gasped for breath and looked to him in confusion.
"What…?"
But she found she didn't need to ask. Even in the dim light of the lamps she could see it. The Hanyou in him was no more. Standing in front of her now, confusion and hurt etched in his features as he looked down at his far too Human hands, was a mortal Inuyasha.
"You bitch…" His voice was darkly grave. Kagome hardly recognized it. "After all this time…After everything….And this…"
He closed the hand he had been staring at into a fist. When his eyes finally lifted to meet hers the darkness in them was terrifying.
"So this is what you wanted after all."
"No." Kagome shook her head hard. She was just as confused as he was. And just as hurt by his accusations. "Inuyasha, I would never-"
"Shut up."
He didn't yell, didn't even raise his voice. But it frightened her more than if he had.
"I should have known. You're just like her."
"No! That's not true!" And it wasn't. Kagome would never be like Kikyo. "Inuyasha, please…"
Kagome reached out to him. She thought if she could just touch him she could bring him back to her, make him see. She took a step, but a step too far.
"No!"
He was so much faster than her. With a wicked backhand he sent Kagome crashing back. She slammed into a partition wall. It creaked and cracked beneath her weight.
"Miko bitch. You're all the same."
He was standing above her. Kagome struggled to get her bearings back to look up at him. She couldn't see his face; it was cloaked in a veil of onyx strands. All she could see was the strain in his arms as they flexed hard against her and the slouch in his shoulders that spoke too clearly of his pain.
"A Hanyou will never bee good enough for a Miko."
His voice cracked. His whole body shook.
"Inuyasha, no." It wasn't true. It never was. Not for her. There were tears in her eyes as she begged him to understand. "Please, I don't know what happened, but if we could just-"
"Shut up." He wouldn't even let her speak. "I'm through listening to your lies. I'm done."
He turned away. Just like that and he was going to leave.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome called after him. She couldn't let things end like this. "Please…"
He paused at the door, but only for a moment, only long enough to say one thing.
"I never want to see you again. If you follow me, I will kill you."
"No. No! Inuyasha!"
Kagome pushed herself up and ran to the door. She called his name. Over and over she called for him. But he was gone. Even Human that he was he managed to slip away into the night. And, Human that he was, she had no way to track him.
"No…" A strangled sob caught in her throat. Her legs were weak. They gave out beneath her. Kagome fell to the floor. Her hands and knees rested on the wood that he had cut. She looked down at it and felt so helpless. Her tears splashed down and she could do nothing to stop them.
"No…Inuyasha…."
How could this have happened? She loved him. She wanted only to be with him. And he had wanted her. They were going to be together, here, in this house he had built for her. They were going to make it a home.
"What have I done?"
She didn't know. She hadn't meant for it. She didn't want for it. She didn't even realize she had done it or when or how.
"No." A sharp shake of her head to clear away the tears. "I didn't do this." She couldn't believe that she had.
Kagome looked up. He was somewhere out there, deep in the shadows of the night. And she would find him. She would. She had to. And when she did she would know what happened, how the transformation had taken him over. She would know, and she would know how to stop it.
Pushing herself to her feet, Kagome steeled her resolve. There were thousands, hundreds of thousands of magics and tricks and rituals that could explain this. She just had to find them. And she knew exactly where to start.
Closing the door behind her, Kagome set out for the village proper.
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
"Kagome, child. Whatever is that matter?"
Old Kaede had answered the knock at her door in nothing more than her nightgown. Her hair was loose and down for sleep, waves of grey spilling over her shoulders. She held a lantern up to see her visitor. The light it cast left deep shadows in the creases of the old Miko's face making her seem all the more ancient.
"Kaede, something's happened. I need your help."
"Of course, child. Of course. Come inside."
The old Miko wrapped a soft arm around her pupil's shoulders, comforting and supportive. She could see how shaken Kagome was. The fire in her hut was only ambers, but Kaede guided Kagome to sit by it.
"Sit down, child. Tell me what happened."
"I'm not really sure. But Inuyasha, he turned."
"He has become a Demon?"
"No. God no." Kagome looked to the heavens. Perhaps in prayer. Perhaps to keep her tears from falling again. "I almost wish it was that. Kaede, he turned Human. I was with him. One second he was Hanyou as he should be, and the next…I don't know what happened. But now he's gone and I…I don't know…"
"Kagome," Kaede's hand rested on Kagome's heaving shoulder. "Ye must calm yourself. Panic serves no purpose but to confuse the mind. Here, drink this."
Kagome hadn't even seen the old woman make the tea. It took so much strength just to draw a steadying breath. For the little good it did. Her hand still shook as she took the offered cup.
Kaede settled herself down across from her pupil. She took her time stocking the fire to give them light. She waited in silence for Kagome to finish her tea and her nerves settle some before she spoke.
"I want you to think back. Remember exactly what you were doing when the transformation occurred. What you saw. What you felt."
"I…" Kagome could feel the heat in her cheeks as she tried to work through her embarrassment. But she told herself that it had to be done. Besides, nothing she could tell the old woman would be anything Kaede hadn't heard before.
"We were together. We were…kissing. I remember feeling warm. From my belly, you know? And I remember feeling him, his body, his heartbeat. They felt like mine. And then…nothing. He pushed me away and when I looked up he was Human."
"Do you remember seeing any of his Demon fire?"
Kagome tried to remember. She was so accustomed to Inuyasha's presence that she hardly noticed it anymore unless she was really looking. She thought hard, but nothing came to her.
She shook her head. "I don't remember."
"Do you recall feeling anything unusual? Anything that you might not normally feel? Another presence perhaps? Something out of place?"
Again Kagome shook her head. "I don't think so. I only remember the two of us."
"Did you feel anything afterwards? A surge of power? A difference in you senses – your sight, your speed, your strength?"
"No." Of that she was certain. "He was faster than me still. And stronger. I couldn't stop him from leaving."
"And when he left could you see him as you normally would?"
"No. He was Human as any other. I couldn't see anything. It was like the night of the New Moon. The transformation was complete."
Kaede nodded her head slowly as she processed the information. She took her time. She poured more tea, one for Kagome and one for herself. She sipped slowly.
Kagome's patience wore thin. "Kaede, please. Do know what could have caused this?"
"You did, child," the old woman simply said.
"That's not possible!" Kagome refused to believe it. "I would never, never want Inuyasha to be anything less than he is!"
"That may be so, Kagome, but nevertheless you are a Miko. It is in your blood to destroy that which is demonic in nature. Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are responsible for what happened to Inuyasha."
"But that…That can't be."
Kagome's hands were shaking again. She might have dropped the cup she was holding if Kaede hadn't reached over and put a steadying hand on hers.
"You mustn't fret, child. You did not do this out of malice. I am certain Inuyasha will come to understand that in time."
Kagome couldn't even look at the old woman. She felt so ashamed. "You didn't see him. He was so angry. So hurt. Like I betrayed him."
"I think I understand now," Kaede said with a long sigh.
"Understand what?"
This time it Kaede who would not meet Kagome's questioning eyes. The old woman brought her hand up to cover her heart.
"Why my sister could never be with Inuyasha."
"Kikyo?" Kagome couldn't help the rage that crept into her voice at the mention of that name. "What does she have to do with this?"
"Her only wish was for Inuyasha to be Human."
"I know that. But she was wrong. Inuyasha is perfect just the way he is. Kikyo had no right to try and take that from him!"
Kaede may not have agreed with much of what her sister had done, but Kikyo was still her sister. She would defend her.
"Like you did?" she asked sternly.
Kagome was shocked still. She regretted her words immediately. Sometimes it was so easy to forget that the old woman before her was a child once, a child who looked up to her big sister, who loved her dearly, and who lost her far too soon.
"Kaede, I didn't mean to…"
But Kaede lifted her hand to still Kagome's words. She shook her head, letting her own anger settle away.
"I do not believe my sister wanted to change Inuyasha. I now think it was to spare him the shame of being overpowered by her presence; or, God forbid, her being tempted to take his power for her own."
"Take his power? Is that even possible?"
"Perhaps," the elder Miko mused. "It would be a keen defense against any Youkai attempting to steal away a Miko's innocence and purity. To use their own power against them…"
Kagome would admit that the idea of it was interesting, but she wouldn't go so far as to think it tempting. Besides, that wasn't the point.
"Can I stop it?" she asked. "This power…I didn't ask for it like I do with my bow. I didn't even know it was happening. Is there a way to stop it? Can I turn Inuyasha back?"
Kaede waved her hand dismissively. "I do not believe that will be necessary. Inuyasha changes with every New Moon, but he reverts again with the sunrise. I do not see why this situation would be any different. You said yourself that you didn't feel any of his power. I think it more likely that you simply snuffed out his fire for a time."
That was a relief, but it wasn't enough.
"What about the next time? Isn't there any way to stop this power from taking over?"
"I suppose it would be very similar to any other ability you posses," Kaede answered slowly. "You might be able to train it with meditation. Though I doubt if it would do you much good."
"Whatever it takes!" Kagome was sure she could do it. "I'll meditate and train for however long it takes. I don't want to hurt him like that ever again!"
"Kagome, dear," Kaede's voice softened with compassion. "Think about this. What you want, what you want to do; these things can not be done with half a mind on the task. You wish give yourself to him, but if you do this, you will only be holding yourself back. Always. Can you live with that knowledge? Can he?"
"I…I don't know."
A soft smile of understanding creased the elder Miko's lips. She set her hand atop her pupil's giving it a small pat of support.
"Take some time to think, my dear," she bid Kagome. "Sleep tonight. I will be here in the morning. We can speak more of these matters then."
Kagome was numb. All she had learned and still she knew nothing. All she had wanted and she was being told it might never be. She felt herself nodding. She was vaguely aware of standing. She might have bid the old woman goodnight, but she couldn't be sure.
Her thoughts spun as Kagome walked aimlessly through the village. She could hardly grasp onto one before another would take its place. This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She had survived the Shikon. She had made it through highschool. She had a house of her very own. And she was supposed to be with the man she loved. She was supposed to have her happy ending, but instead she had been teased with it, tortured by how close she came and how far it now seemed to be away.
Must her life always be a struggle? Was she destined to always be denied the simple things that so many others could take for granted?
"What am I doing?"
So lost in her thoughts and her own self-pity, Kagome didn't realize where her feet had taken her. She found herself looking up at the branches of the God Tree. Her hand was resting on its bark.
It was in this very spot she had first met Inuyasha. Only there was no Hanyou bound there now. He was gone, released by her hand and now gone again because of it.
"Is this sign?" she asked of the Ancient. "Do I really not belong here?"
A tear rolled down her cheek as she waited for the answer. The wind blew. The leaves rustled in their endless slumber.
More tears fell. She was sobbing when she asked, "Do I really not belong with him?"
Only the silence of the night replied. The ancient Tree stood sentinel as always. Life moved by and on around it, but it never changed. It never gave of its wisdom.
Kagome couldn't bear its silence. She struck out at the ancient power with power of her own. The energy flowed from her core. It shot out of her hand as she slammed it against the trunk of the tree.
"Answer me!"
Except there was no answer. Life moved on around her. The wind, the leaves, the breath of the earth: all the same. The only thing that had changed was the stench of charred wood coming from beneath her fingers.
Her energy drained, Kagome's powers ebbed away. She choked on a sob and gave into it. Tears fell uninhibited. And with no strength to hold herself up, she fell to her knees once again. She might have stayed there all night. Or forever. She had no desire to move, to think. Even breathing was a labor she could have gone without. So destructive were her thoughts she almost ignored the screaming of her senses.
A Demon stalked her in the night. Perhaps she should just let it have its way with her.
"No…"
She didn't have a death wish. There was still so much she wanted to do. She couldn't let it all end here. Not without a fight.
Forcing herself to stand, Kagome turned her back on the Ancient. She looked into the trees, deep into the shadows. She looked with more than her eyes, stretching out her senses to find the creature she knew lurked there.
"Show yourself." Though her voice cracked with unbidden emotions, it was strong.
Kagome had no weapon. She wore no armor beyond her sailor skirt and blouse. Her training in martial arts was weak at best. But she had faith in her powers. She trusted them to defend her. She stood strong and ready for whatever was to come.
The presence moved closer. It tracked neither slowly nor quickly. Not deterred by her calling out to it, not hastened either. It came of its own accord at its own pace. It was powerful. The burn against her senses told her as much. A Demon's fire set ablaze. It would consume her if she let it. She would not give it the chance.
The well portal was only a hundred yards away, her home just on the other side. It could not follow her there. She had weapons there; bows, arrows, charms and sutras, all she would ever need.
But she could not, would not destroy a creature without reason. Demon or not, in her eyes it had rights just as she did. So she waited, waited for it to reveal itself, waited to hear of its intentions. Good or bad she would hear it out.
Something began to drift apart from the shadows. A figure weaved its way through the trees. No footsteps, no sounds accompanied its passage. It was silent as a wrath.
A flash caught her eye. Moonlight dancing on silver. In its scattered light she could almost see colors. A canvas of white splashed with streaks of crimson like blood upon freshly fallen snow. The pattern was unmistakable.
A breath that should have been relieved shook with her shame.
"Sesshomaru…"
He stepped clear of the shadows. Silver shifted around him in a long flowing mane. His garment white, crested with blood red, now glowed in the light from the moon above. But it was his eyes that struck the distance between them. A hunter, a predator, a beast: they cut like golden fire through the darkness.
"What…What are you doing here?"
Kagome was hesitant, unsure. Was it possible he knew? And if so, what would he do?
"Should that not be my question, Priestess?"
He answered a question with a question. His words were spoken slowly, his tone a drone of disinterest. But that he spoke at all was telling enough of his intrigue. And the sharpness of his focus was so acute Kagome dared not move lest it cut her.
"I…" But she didn't know what to say.
"You have refused his suit then."
"Refused his…what?"
The intensity of his gaze finally lessened. Though he still looked at her, Kagome got the impression that he was looking through her instead.
"This Sesshomaru no longer cares for your presence. Be gone with you, Miko. This time is not yours to exploit any further."
Kagome was so shocked at Sesshomaru's knowledge of her time that she almost missed it when he turned to leave.
"Wait!"
She almost took a step after him before she caught herself. Coming at this Youkai from behind was a sure-fire way to get beheaded. Kagome forced herself still and found her voice.
"What do you mean I refused his suit?"
"Do not try me, woman," he said without turning back. "That I do not care for your customs does not make me ignorant of them. The house, the celebration with your witnesses: it is clear that the Hanyou wished to take you for a mate."
"A…mate?"
The term just seemed wrong to Kagome, but it wasn't so far off that she didn't understand what it meant. But it meant something else too, something he wasn't saying.
"Is that why you're here?" she asked, threads of anger weaving themselves into her voice. "You came to stop him? A Human isn't good enough for a son of Inu no Taisho?"
A threat against Sesshomaru never went unanswered. He turned back to face her, but to Kagome's surprise it was not anger she saw when he looked at her.
"You did not refuse him?"
"Of course not. Why would I? I love him."
"Yet you will not share his bed."
Kagome squeaked in shock and embarrassment. She looked quickly away from the questioning Youkai, lifting her hands up like a shield of warding.
"Oh. My God. I am so not talking about this with you," she said quickly. "He left, okay. I don't know where he went."
"Attempting to deceive me is unwise, Miko."
"Deceive…?" He couldn't be serious. Embarrassment forgotten, Kagome looked back to Sesshomaru. "I'm not…"
But suddenly it all became so clear. He really didn't know. Sesshomaru probably thought that Inuyasha was still in the hut where he had been, where the Hanyou in him had last been.
"Shit…" she breathed out the curse. What came next was inevitable, "I'm not lying, Sesshomaru. He isn't there. There was an accident. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even realize anything was happening. But something happened to him in that hut. He left, but not as a Hanyou."
Sesshomaru was silent for a long time after she spoke, so long that Kagome began to grow nervous. She started fidgeting, wringing her hands together, shifting her weight from foot to foot, even looking around her for another way out.
When another sound was heard it was so sudden and caught her so off guard that Kagome actually jumped.
Sesshomaru scoffed. "Pathetic Half-breed."
"H-Hey!" It was a reflex or something, something proud enough or stupid enough to stand up to Sesshomaru. "You can call him whatever you want when he's here to defend himself. But I will not stand for it."
"Are you so sure you want to be defending him, Miko? Do you not realize what has transpired?"
"Ummm…" Kagome stuttered a bit. She wasn't sure. Not really. But she didn't want him to know that. "Kaede told me that it was my Miko powers acting on their own. That it was a defense mechanism or something."
"Does the elder Miko often consort with Youkai?"
"Well, no…"
"With Hanyous then?"
"No…"
"Then she knows nothing."
Kagome blinked in surprise at the hardness of his tone. Sesshomaru was never hard. Superior: of course. Condescending: all the time. Clipped, cold, careless, and completely uncaring: sure. But hard? If she didn't know any better she would say he almost sounded angry.
"There are only two possible rationales for what happened," Sesshomaru went on. "Either the Hanyou was too stupid to do what must be done or he believed you too weak to handle it. Regardless, it was his choice, and either makes him an incomparable fool."
Kagome shook her head. "I don't understand. What would I be too weak for?"
"Clearly you are not." That hardness again, that anger, it tainted the smooth tenors of his voice. "Even a fool can see you are a Miko. The Half-breed knew well what you are. He had tasted of your power many times as you used it to give strength to his attacks. Did he honestly think himself immune to the magics that make you what you are?"
"My magic…?" It didn't make any sense. "Why would he have to fear my magic? I would never hurt him."
A twitch in Sesshomaru's stoic countenance, a marginal lifting of his upper lip gave Kagome the distinct impression of disgust from the Youkai.
"Your teachers should have been more concerned with the practicality of their lessons rather than their own agendas," he said.
In one breath he condemned and scorned everything she had ever been taught. It was too much for Kagome.
"You're one to talk about agendas," she spat back. "Why are you here if not to stop Inuyasha and I from being together? You should be happy!"
Sesshomaru didn't even flinch.
"A Miko is a suitable choice for a Half-breed. By the infusion of your power he might have restored some of the dignity to his line. But like a coward the Hanyou let himself be subdued. To be subverted without any fight at all: it is pathetic."
"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you didn't object? That you actually wanted Inuyasha and I to...uhh…be together?"
"I approved of the union, yes."
"Wow…" Kagome blinked wide. She really hadn't seen that one coming.
Sesshomaru was all about the whole 'purity of the line' and 'superiority of true Youkai blood' thing. She would have never imagined that he would approve of his only brother, Hanyou or not, being wed to a Human.
He must have thought more highly of her than he had ever let on. Then again, he had only tried to kill her once. Only that first time in his father's tomb. After that he had been mostly dismissive of her presence. Like he didn't care one way or another that she was there. Even shooting at him with her arrows barely made him bat an eyelash.
But why? Because she was a Miko? Could the answer be that simple?
'By the infusion of you power he might have restored some of the dignity to his line.'
Power: of course. Sesshomaru didn't see her when he looked at her. He saw the power within her. It was the only thing that could sway this arrogant beast. He was telling her as much now.
A quick shake of her head to let loose any drifting thoughts put Kagome back on topic. Sesshomaru was telling her all she needed to know, she just had to listen, to ask the right questions.
"Okay, let's go back. The agendas, what were you saying about that?"
"I should think it obvious by now," he said, sounding bored. "The teachings of your people have purposefully left out intimate interaction with Youkai and their like."
"But why?"
"To prevent it from happening, obviously."
Kagome snorted. "Obviously…" Except it wasn't obvious to her. Not by a long shot. "I still don't get it. What's the point of keeping this from us? If it's just another defense then why bother keeping it a secret? How are we supposed to control our powers if we don't even know the truth about them?"
"That is the point," Sesshomaru told her with finality. "They do not want you to control it. They do not want for you to know that it is possible at all. They will not have their last line of defense corrupted. They would see to it that any Mortal beset with the Power destroy or be destroyed by the vary nature of what they are rather then know the truth."
"What truth?"
Kagome was beyond frustrated. She almost preferred Sesshomaru's monosyllabic threats and taunts to his overly-elaborate explanations that forever refused to get to the freaking point.
Sesshomaru, though, was faring no better. An inaudible growl rattled in his throat.
"This is impossible," he finally said. "I can not tell you what you should already know for yourself."
"What? Wait…What are you doing?"
Kagome abruptly forgot about everything Sesshomaru had said and what she was supposed to be saying. Without so much as a word the Youkai had reached up and unlatched the bone-plate armor strapped across his shoulders. He shrugged it off easily like he had done it a million times and let it just fall unceremoniously to the ground. His Boa was next, leaving him covered only by a thin layer of silk and cloth. Then came his swords. The heart and soul of any warrior. He might as well have been removing his right hand.
Self-consciously, Kagome took a step backwards.
"What are you doing?" she asked again.
"You consider yourself Human, do you not?"
The question was so absurdly obvious that even in her state of confusion and trepidation she answered without pause.
"Of course."
She didn't even see him move. A flash she saw only in her mind was the only tell he had moved at all. Then he was right on top of her. His arms wrapped around her like steel clamping down in a vice. Kagome cried out, startled, afraid. She struggled against him but it was in vain. She was trapped.
"A Human would be dead by now."
His voice was the same drone of disinterest as she had always heard. Something about it - the consistency, the steadiness - soothed her fear. There was no malice about what he said, no hint of intent or threat. It was simply words, instruction like he was giving a lesson.
A couple of gasping breaths gave Kagome enough courage to look up at him. He was too close, far too close; but she could force herself to listen. Something told her she needed to.
"How are you alive?"
It was question he had asked her once before. 'What are you…?' Only now Kagome knew the answer.
"I'm a Miko."
"Then stop looking at me with Human eyes."
"Nn…." Her words failed her. She had to remind herself just to breath through it. He couldn't be asking what she was hearing him ask. "I…I can't."
"You already are."
His hands shifted against her back. Another startled cry left the young Miko when she felt the tips of his claws pressing against her skin. Her back burned like she had fallen into a fire.
"S-Stop it!" she begged him. "Please…It hurts!"
"You stop it," he told her.
"Nng…AH!"
No more thought. No more mind. She reacted. Her hands pressed flat against his chest and she pushed with everything she had. Power flared like a bomb had dropped. It shot outwards, drawn from her very core, and slammed into Sesshomaru.
He was thrown back from her, though not entirely by her. He had released her at the moment of impact and pushed away. An easy turn in the air brought him back to his feet a few yards away.
His chest still smoked where she had hit him. The white of his garment was destroyed, blackened to char in some places, obliterated completely in others. His skin was burned as well. It had blistered into angry welts, but he paid it no mind.
"If you can attack, you can defend. Again."
Kagome hadn't recovered from round one. She was in no condition for another. But Sesshomaru didn't give her a say in the matter. In less than a second she was once again held in his iron grasp.
"No…" She felt the burning again and sobbed. "Please…no…"
"Why do you hold back, Miko?"
Again the pressure on her back from his claws. Again the scorching heat. Her hands were forced up in her defense, but the burn was there as well. It was everywhere, all around her, licking every inch of her skin with agony.
"Defend yourself!"
His command was like a switch being thrown. Where her eyes had been closed they were now open. She didn't just feel the fire, she saw it. Every lick of flame, every flicker of light: everything. All that was Him she saw through her Miko eyes.
The fire touched her skin but she felt no pain. Strange, she thought. It had been so excruciating. Now it was merely there. She felt it, felt the heat of it, the way it moved and spread and coiled; but she felt no pain.
Something out of place caught her eye, something within the fire but not a part of it. Realization dawned slowly for what should have been obvious. She was looking at her own hands. Still raised and poised for attack, they rested within the fiery shell of the Youkai.
Her light was different, a radiant shimmer of blue and gold like the sunrise. Curious, she looked closer. It wasn't just her she saw in that light. Flames danced between her fingertips, lapping and licking their way around and through the sea of blue. Not just with it, but a part of it. Her power and his weren't just meeting, confronting each other in the ageless battle; they were joining, becoming one.
There was something so familiar about that light.
"I've seen this," she whispered entranced.
"Yes."
A hundred times she had seen this. When Inuyasha would add the power of his Windscar to one of her arrows or she the Light of her arrow to his sword she saw it happen. Their powers wouldn't clash. They wouldn't annihilate each other. They would blend and mix, creating something so much more powerful in their wake.
Kagome finally had her answer. "We're compatible. Demon and Miko…Our powers are…the same."
She looked up, gazing into the inferno, finding the golden light within that encased the soul.
"Is this what they would keep from us?" she asked.
Warmth brush against her cheek. She leaned into it without thinking.
"They would have you think that this power is only to destroy," she heard him say. "Fear the fire, fight it or be taken down with it."
But she didn't want to fight it. She had never felt anything so incredible. Her senses were set alight with the fire, yet there was no pain, no discomfort; only the feeling of being completely surrounded with warmth and protection. She could feel his strength and it was remarkable. It held her in a way so intimate she could know every part of him.
She felt the warmth again on her face, brushing her cheeks, her lips, her mouth. Then she was breathing it in. It flowed into her, slipping into her lungs like steam in a sauna.
But something was changing. The light in her eyes began to dim. The fire began to flicker out. The heat still surrounded her, still encased her within its power; but her eyes no longer saw it. Images took shape again. Stark and clear, the world around her came back into focus.
Kagome gasped and pulled back when she realized Sesshomaru's face was not above her but pressed against hers, their lips touching. She stumbled back. He had released her and she hadn't realized. Her body shivered, the chill of the night settling on her heated skin.
She gasped again, panted. She felt so out of place suddenly. So alone. And everything was so bright. The grass, the trees: it was like she was seeing every tiny leaf, every blade of green. Colors were vivid even in the night. The white of Sesshomaru's robe was so bright it hurt to look at. She clamped her eyes closed to try and shut it out, but that was no better. She closed her eyes and was trapped in darkness. There were no wisps of light or traces of life. It was darkness complete, a void of black.
"What have you done?" she asked, her voice trembling.
"Enjoy my eyes, Priestess," she heard him say in return. "Yours will no doubt prove interesting."
"My…eyes…?"
Kagome forced herself to look. The brightness stabbed at her the second she opened her eyes but she refused to let it stop her. She looked right at Sesshomaru, seeing details she had never known were there. Every strand of hair, every curve of muscle beneath the cloth. Even his skin. It always looked like porcelain, flawless and smooth. She could see it now: tiny specks of imperfect pores, minute lines of age and wear. His markings too were strange. The colors always so bright against the fine pallor of his skin now seemed to glow from just beneath it.
"What…?"
But then she saw. His eyes had changed. They didn't burn like twin golden suns. They caught no light from the moon. They were muted, dark, almost black in the night.
Not understanding, she looked closer. Not black, she realized. Dark, but brown. They looked like hers. They looked just like hers. Every tiny fleck of amber and spot of brown she recognized. It was impossible. She looked closer still to try and convince herself it wasn't so. But the closer she got the more she could see. Until at last she was looking into the moisture lining those eyes. She looked and saw, not him, but a reflection of herself.
Kagome gasped again in shock. She had seen her own eyes, but they were not her own. The image she saw looking back at her had eyes of golden light.
Her hands flew up to cover the eyes that were not hers.
"What have you done?!" she demanded an answer.
But Sesshomaru only shook his head and looked away. He closed his eyes tightly once, then again, clearly uncomfortable.
"It is not a matter of what can be taken," he finally said. "That you know well by now. Destroy by overpowering, eliminate by draining completely: simple enough. What you do not know is what can be shared, what can be gained from giving as much as you receive."
Sesshomaru closed his eyes again before blinking several times. "Is it always so dark?" he asked curiously. "I can not see the trees, yet I can see the life within them."
Kagome followed his line of sight. Unlike him, she could see the trees. Even those several rows back from the edge of the clearing she could see so distinctly she could count the number of knots in the bark. She had never seen so clearly, but she couldn't help but feel something was missing.
"The trees draw energy from the earth to grow," she told him. "All life in some was does. If you're looking with my eyes you can see it. But I…can't. Not anymore."
Her voice must have cracked. He must have heard it.
"Do not worry yourself, Miko," he said as he looked away from the trees and back to her. "The effects are temporary. This demonstration is only to impart on you the possibilities that exist once you embrace the totality of your abilities. You have been taught nothing but offensive tactics since the very moment your powers became known to you. You were led to believe that such were their sole purpose. That is not entirely correct."
No. It was entirely wrong. She had felt it so strongly, been a part of it so completely. She could never again think of a Youkai without remembering what Sesshomaru had shown her, without being reminded how much alike they were to her. She did not use her powers against Humans. To turn against her own was not permitted, not by her Faith, and not by her own heart. But now…
"I think I understand," she said quietly. "They don't want us to know the truth because they don't want the feud to end. How can I kill Youkai knowing what I know?"
But Sesshomaru was not impressed. "The same you always have," he told her bluntly. "You will kill because it is necessary. You will use no more and no less force against your foes. All that has changed is your understanding of yourself. You are Miko, not some lowly Human that can be overwhelmed by the mere touch of a Youkai. This power is intrinsic, a part of you. The Hanyou was a fool to allow it to overpower him."
Kagome shook her head. "He must have thought I wouldn't hurt him."
"Irrelevant. He felt your power rise up and did not rise to meet it. The only one responsible for his disgrace is the Hanyou himself."
His voice had grown hard again. Normally when Sesshomaru spoke to or of Inuyasha he was condescending, aloof, annoyingly superior; but he was none of these things as he spoke now. He was angry.
"Why do you…care?" Kagome had to ask. It was the final missing piece. "If you knew this was possible all along…Why does it matter to you that I know about this power? Why does it make any difference to you whether or not I believe in my Humanity?"
"Is that what you want: to be Human?" Again he answered a question with a question. "Is that what you want of him?"
"N-no."
And she didn't. The Shikon had shown her life without magic, but it had been that very lack that had made her realize the deception. Her friends, her family: all of it was too perfect. All of them were too perfect. They were so completely, so unbearably, Human. Kagome couldn't live like that. The things she knew, the powers she possessed, they were a part of her now. She couldn't live without them. She wouldn't.
"I want him just the way he is," she said.
"That may be so, Miko; but by his actions he has told you plainly he wants less from you than all of what you are. Less of himself than all he could give."
"That…can't be right…"
She just couldn't believe it. Inuyasha had been so hurt, so shaken. He thought she had turned him on purpose, that she had wanted to. How could he have been so devastated if he had known that all he had to do was open himself up to her?
"No." Kagome shook her head firmly. "You're wrong. He didn't know. He couldn't."
Sesshomaru only shrugged, his shoulders rising and falling in one fluid motion before he turned and began gathering his weapons and armor. He didn't put them back on, he didn't bother. He was leaving, but not before he departed one last bit of knowledge.
"Regardless of what you may think, of what you may wish to believe, the evidence points to the contrary. You do not control the power inside of you. It is not impossible to do so. However, you must ask yourself: do you want to control it? Do you want to forever be less than what you could be, for him to be less to you than he could? Would you have your children be less because of it?"
"My children…?"
"Power begets power," he said as he left. "The choice now lies in your hands."
Kagome watched him go. Far longer than she would have been able to with her own eyes, she watched him weave his way through the trees. Until he was gone and she was once again alone in the clearing by the ancient God Tree.
For a long time she just stood there. She looked with her new eyes, marveled at the brightness of the world around her, the tiny details that had until this day escaped her. She did not fear the darkness, for there was none. The sun might as well have been shining at midday. She closed her eyes and saw true night for the first time in as long as she could remember, then she opened them again and saw life thriving around her.
When doubt came to her, a feeling of loss, she needed only to reach out and touch the Tree of Ages and feel its power coursing through it to know that what her eyes did not see had not dulled in her other senses.
She thought a lot. About what Sesshomaru had said, about the things he had shown her, the things he had made her feel. She thought about his motives. About the anger that drove him, the reasoning that only his mind could know that pushed him so far and brought him so close to her.
But mostly she thought about Inuyasha. She thought about all he had done for her, how many times he had saved her from Demons and Humans and even herself. She thought about the times when they were alone together, when she felt such joy and peace. She thought about how much she loved him.
She thought of how hard all of this must be on him. Where she had Kaede, Sango and Miroku, and even Sesshomaru to guide her, to support her, and to teach her: he had no one. He was out there somewhere all alone. And he was hurting.
She thought about the Human he had become. All of his life Inuyasha tried to hide his Human emotions, so long that he often didn't know how to deal with them when they surfaced. She wondered what hurt him more: that she had turned him Human, or that a part of him would always be so.
She thought about the Hanyou curse, about the Demon within him always raging, always fighting for a way to break free. Its bloodlust was insatiable, its madness overwhelming. It was no wonder that he feared it. But did he fear it so much he wouldn't let it free, not even with her? Would he always deny his true heritage, his Inu blood?
Did he even know?
Had Inuyasha known that he could share that part of himself with her in such a way? Had he known and refused? Had he felt her power and made a choice? Or did he really think she was too weak? Did he think that she wouldn't love him for what she saw?
There was only one way to know for sure.
She would ask him. Simple as that. He would be back. This was his home; it had been for over fifty years. He couldn't abandon it so easily. He wouldn't abandon her so easily. Kagome had to believe that. It was only a matter of time. She could wait a little bit longer.
The veil had lifted. The light was changing around her. Shades of color began to grow more vibrant. The sun was rising in the East and Kagome turned towards it. She wanted to see this sunrise. She wanted to see what He saw every morning of his long life before her eyes dimmed.
Steeping clear of the trees of Inuyasha's forest, Kagome walked into an Eden she could never have imagined. There were no words to describe the beauty of it. No artist had a pallet that could capture all of its magnificent colors. She stood in awe and marveled at its majesty.
It was strange. In one night all she had ever known and all she had ever wanted had been questioned, thrown away, and changed forever. So much change, so much confusion, so much hurt; but as she looked upon the light of the new day she couldn't help but be filled with hope for a brighter future. Brighter than she had ever known. Brighter than she had ever wished for.
Inspired by a vision she could not command, Kagome looked through another's eyes and watched as boarders were shattered and broken with every brush and stroke of red in the morning's dawn.
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