Instinct
Summary: There was an innate impulse, not guided by reason or intelligence, moving it unconsciously, seeking its own survival.
Danger, he warned him.
And just like that, there was his instinct. Without reflection, regardless of reason; intuition.
Danger, he also warned him.
Then why? Sesshomaru wondered. Ignoring the constant warnings, his eyes continued to be drawn to the insolent and insignificant figure of that small woman.
Was this, after all, his undoing? Or, the glory he had longed for?
Chapter One - And She Touched Me…
… without having to touch me.
The storm came suddenly and with force, especially for that time of year, where the dry season will prevail for another two months. She ended up taking everyone by surprise and even the most intuitive were not able to escape her and from what they could see, she would continue into the night, as she didn't seem to want to give truce so soon. The gale coming from her was fierce and roaring like an enraged animal crashing into trees as it passed through their gaps in the forest. Of the tallest and thinnest, the shortest and with thick trunks, even bowed before the ferocity of the wind, while the ground seemed to tremble before the thunder that rumbled in the sky, its flashes partially illuminating the gloom of night.
The world seemed to be collapsing in rain, its thick drops forming a whitish veil, making it impossible for anyone to see. Perhaps that was why no one, whether humans or youkai, tried to venture out at that time, especially in those parts, where the intense forest ended in a dangerous fork, on one side the precipice, on the other a sinister cave - where humans from neighboring villages believed to live a powerful youkai.
Or, that's what the daiyoukai thought. His amber eyes scrutinize the female figure in a curious way.
The cave was not deep, but wide enough that nothing outside would bother him, so the albino established a place to take shelter there from time to time, especially in hopeless circumstances. Or, in times like that. Enveloped with their youki, no humans and youkai dared approach the cave unless they wanted to die. In the center of it a fire was lit, illuminating and warming the place in the background; where a heap of furs lay for the comfort of sleeping lay the body of the young priestess.
Dressed only in her haori, she remained curled up and wrapped in one of several animal skins to keep warm, sleeping peacefully. Her features, every now and then, were frowned and she let out some inane mumbles, then she tossed about on the makeshift bed and went back to the dream world. He couldn't help but think about what they would be like to upset her in such a way. In one corner was her light yukata hanging somehow from sticks so it could dry in the heat of the fire.
Annoyed, Sesshomaru averted his eyes, going back to analyzing the storm outside. He was sitting nonchalantly near the exit, keeping alert, listening for every slightest movement, listening to every nuance he could identify in the natural sounds, like a guard dog he stood there, guarding the shelter.
Only, once again, his eyes were drawn to the human figure. Her sensitive ears had caught a soft sigh that she let out. This sigh that disturbed him beyond measure, he ended up frowning slightly at that realization.
The youkai was alone that time. He had left Rim sheltered in the human village of InuYasha, along with Jaken and the two-headed youkai, Ah-Un, as the little child had named him. When he felt through the air the storm approaching, he decided to stop at that shelter, having the luck to be close to him, preventing him from getting wet.
It would be safe there, he assumed.
And what was her surprise, half an hour later in the middle of the storm, to feel the human who accompanied her useless half-brother. Her reiryoku wavered, one moment she felt strong, another moment she almost lost her presence completely. Indifferent to her, Sesshomaru was curious to notice that she was alone. There was no presence next to, or even close to, her, and that was strange indeed.
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, forcing himself to face the outside. Again. His right hand resting on his knee, his leg bent. The newly restored left from their last encounter, two lunar cycles ago, was lying on its side. He couldn't deny the unease he felt in his core, conquering more and more space inside him.
What had moved him against her was not just his curiosity, Sesshomaru was not foolish to deceive himself. And yet, he wanted to believe that was what he admitted to his small attraction to the human. His heart softened by Rin wasn't enough, he didn't need another to occupy the same space, entitled to new feelings he'd never had before. Not with that greatness.
Those two humans made him feel, and that in itself was not good. He didn't like that and admitting it, even to himself, was despicable. Sesshomaru would never say it out loud, even if his life depended on it, but he was terrified of the new sensations flowing through his body, driving his actions… making it impossible for him to think clearly.
Seeing the female body shudder, he noticed how his eyes were fixed on her again. She was like a magnet, and he was drawn to metal by her purity. He clenched his fist over his knee, fighting the urge to move closer as she curled deeper into that brownish skin, seeking to warm from the frigid night. Feeling his mokomoko on his shoulder move and knowing what his beast wanted, Sesshomaru closed his eyes, taking a breath to calm himself.
He caught his breath, his body tensing, rigid in the position. That had been the worst choice for the moment, her mind registered.
The air was permeated with the scent of the human, the sweet, soft scent that naturally wafted off her. And that wasn't good, not at all. His eyes opened, staring at the rocky wall ahead, his red sclera showing the degree of his out of control. It wasn't like this was the first time he'd smelled her, but in his state, being so close and alone… it didn't complete his thoughts.
I would commit irreparable madness if I completed it.
Before his control went up in the air, Sesshomaru detached the mokomoko from him, the skin moved by his youki was immediately in the direction of the human, curling itself to the female body, attracted by the familiar presence. When the slender arms released the animal skin to cling to the mokomoko, hugging him with his legs and snuggling his sleeping face against it, the albino relaxed.
His eyes back to white hue closed, he resumed breathing normally, enjoying the scent exhaled from the priestess and graced by the warmth of her that he felt on the skin of his mokomoko. That seemed to be enough for his beast. Although he kept an eye out for any triviality outside, Sesshomaru let himself relax completely, his sigh came out audibly.
He felt like a fucking puppy, luckily no one needed to know that. It was embarrassing enough to admit to himself, thank you.
There was a time when youkai were inexperienced, letting themselves be carried away by both their curiosity and their newly matured needs. Only now, with five hundred years on, he had full control over himself and his actions. And he was very proud of it.
Then why? Why had he rescued the human and taken her to his shelter?
As Dai-youkai, prince of the Inu-youkai and Lord of the West, he had to be strong and fearless, and not giving in to what his beast wanted allowed him to become so powerful. But here he was, Sesshomaru, losing his much-acclaimed control at her whim.
Oh, how he wanted his beast to be some youkai on whom he could take out all his wrath, shredding until he didn't even have his clothes left to tell the story.
And since wanting is still not power, he remained ignoring her as he always did. Until then it was working perfectly… despite the small slip…
It had been a mistake to take her there, he admitted it only because his mind was on the point. Although his actions did little to show it. But who said he cared. Sesshomaru was too entertained (or was he indifferent?), enjoying that fragrance to notice the naked truth being rubbed into his face.
Maybe it was for the best. There are certain things that we are not yet ready to know, or accept, so we need to be blind to make it happen.