I do not own any of the Inuyasha characters. They belong to Takahashi Rumiko.
A/N: MissTeak's attempt at a melancholic, tragic yet beautiful story of intense love that spans centuries to see to it that a promise made in the previous lives was fulfilled. I hope you guys like this one; I was listening to a personal favorite Chinese song and my muse just came up with this story. Oh, and Sesshoumaru is human, not the demon lord, in the modern day context. Please let me know how you feel about this; reviews will be greatly appreciated!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once upon an Edo night
Higurashi Kagome smiled discreetly as she moved to maneuver her shadow such that it was overlapped at where the hands were with Takahashi Sesshoumaru.
Looking at the shadows, it appeared as if they were holding hands, and that was sweet and adorable enough for the hopeless romantic in Kagome.
Sesshoumaru seemed not to notice either the shadows or the smile gracing the lips of the beautiful girl by his side. The night was warm, comfortably so, and he was content enough to simply enjoy the excellent companionship she provided as they strolled along the Nihonbashi. He wouldn't deny though, that it would be nice if he could hold her by the hand.
They were on their fourth, somewhat embarrassing, date after mutual friends Sango and Miroku tried to fix them up. While it was progressing very well, both parties seemed to have difficulty in taking the initiative to move their relationship to another level. It was like an open secret which both knew very well, but somehow, no one was making a move.
"The breeze is comfortable, isn't it, Takahashi-san?"
"Hmm." He nodded. "It is very relaxing indeed."
Kagome smiled and looked up at the handsome man by her side, before he happened to turn in her direction and catch her gaze directly. Locked in a gaze for what seemed to be a few very intimate seconds, Kagome hastily broke the eye contact, her expression flustered.
Feeling rather self-conscious all of a sudden, Sesshoumaru turned away as well, and both ended up standing side by side in silence, leaning against the ledge of the Nihonbashi and staring out into the inky waters of the river beneath. Overhead, the noises from the cars zooming on the highway were heard, and the lights from all directions threw shadows on their otherwise slightly blushing faces.
"Higurashi-san."
"Yes?"
They sounded tense, and Kagome braced herself. Was Sesshoumaru finally about to ask her to be his girlfriend?
"Do you..." He started and paused, while she subconsciously sucked in her breath and held it there.
Here comes the question...
"...umm...need to sit down somewhere?"
"Eh?" Kagome's eyes widened in disappointment, shock and confusion.
Sesshoumaru wanted to slap himself for his stupidity.
"I mean, you are wearing your heels, so..."
"It's fine." Kagome replied a little more curtly than she intended to. Couldn't he tell that she was waiting for him to say something about it?
"Oh."
"We might as well get going...the view here is not that spectacular."
Disappointment must have made her slightly grumpy and frustrated with the man beside her, and unbeknownst to her, it did not go unnoticed.
Turning on her heels, she took a step along the Nihonbashi, before her surroundings, urban and noisy, abruptly morphed in front of her eyes like another dimension. It happened so quickly; Kagome did not even have enough time to react to the change. The noise of the cars along the highway vanished instantly into thin air, and gone were the neon and fluorescent lights of the 21st century.
What was originally stone beneath her feet were transformed as if by magic, into wooden planks. The sounds of the river water lapping at the banks were not drowned out by the urban landscape here - it was audible, lulling and gentle. Crickets chirped, forming the orchestra of the night. The smells of summer lingered heavily in the slightly humid but fresh air.
Kagome blinked twice instinctively. She was not hallucinating. It was still the Nihonbashi, but...it did not look like the Nihonbashi she knew since young.
It looked like what she saw in history lessons from high school, from the ancient woodblock printings and early photographs. Except that the wooden bridge she was standing on was even newer, its wooden structure still retaining gloss.
...It was Nihonbashi, back in its earliest days.
"Takahashi-san?" She turned, and to her utmost relief, saw an equally confused Sesshoumaru standing close behind her. "Where...where are we?"
"It is the Nihonbashi. Back in time." His voice was low with disbelief.
Kagome nodded in agreement, feeling anxiety and fear claw at her insides. This was impossible. What was going on? Was this a sort of sick joke?
It sure didn't seem like one. If it didn't sound so ridiculous, she would say...they have gone back in time. Over three hundred years ago. At the very same spot where they were standing just a few moments ago in year 2009.
A laugh pierced the otherwise silent night air, but it was not one of joy. It was one of pain, self-mockery and pity.
"Stay behind me." Sesshoumaru whispered, while they turned to face the source of the beautiful and melancholic laugh.
Kagome gasped involuntarily, for what appeared in front of her eyes was herself.
An apparition of a lady, bearing uncanny resemblance to Kagome, was sitting precariously on the wooden ledge of the Nihonbashi, decked in fineries and an intricately designed and elaborately colored kimono. She appeared solid enough, but they could see slightly through her shadowy form. Her hairdo, filled with a multitude of exquisite hair ornaments, coupled with the signature obi tied in front of her waist, told Kagome what she was looking at. A pair of ridiculously high geta was left on the bridge, arranged neatly side by side.
She was looking at a Tayu, the highest ranking courtesan among the sleazy pleasure quarters, Yoshiwara, of Edo. Not just any Tayu, but a Tayu who looks exactly like her. Kagome stared at the enigmatic creature ahead of her, transfixed, lost in the impossibility of the entire situation. She could feel Sesshoumaru moving to stand in front of her protectively.
Despite the garish finery the Tayu was decked in, she did not look happy at all. In fact, her beautifully lined eyes - Kagome's eyes- could not hide the pain and melancholy she was feeling on the inside. She was smoking a tobacco pipe as she sat all alone, blowing the exhaled smoke sensuously and seductively into the summer night with her perfectly rouged lips.
She appeared to be terribly lonely; Kagome could feel it. The raw waves of pain were radiating off her.
But what was shocking was not just her loneliness, but rather, the red cord looped loosely around her wrist. It was tied in such a way that there was another loop to it.
It was characteristic of a suicide pact made between a man and a woman in Japanese and Chinese traditions. The red cord looped around their wrists was meant to bind them in death and into the afterlife beyond.
But where was the man? The Tayu was all alone.
"No...don't do it." Kagome whispered, loud enough for the Tayu to hear, but she did not respond. "Don't do this."
"Miss, listen to us!" Sesshoumaru called out. It was unsettling and unbelievable, but somehow, he knew they were looking at Kagome - the Kagome who lived more than three hundred years ago.
The Tayu did not respond, and both of them knew she could not hear them at all.
They were caught somewhere between the creases of two time dimensions, playing helpless voyeurs to a tragic scene which, while unknown to them, would soon change their lives forever.
It was then when they heard a voice that sent chills down their spines.
"Tayu no Higurashi of the Red Lantern House."
The mesmerizingly beautiful Tayu smiled, a sad smile nonetheless, as she acknowledged the voice hidden in the shadows without turning around.
"Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands." Her voice was beautiful and haunting as his name and title rolled sensuously off her lips. "What an honor...it is my good fortune indeed, to be able to see you before my impending death. Or are you going to ask me if I wished to spend a night in your sleeping chambers tonight?"
The figure in the shadows stepped into the dim light cast by the pearly moon hanging above, and it was Sesshoumaru's turn to freeze as he looked at himself, clad in an ancient warrior's robes, complete with swords and an amour. His regal silver hair adopted a pearlescent glow in the night.
"Why do you seek death?"
The Tayu shook her head and smiled sadly again. "You would never understand, my Lord. So what is the point in asking?"
"There is no reason for you to do so."
She drew a deep breath on her tobacco pipe. "I am nothing but a fallen flower petal, destined to drift along with the river, wherever it may lead me. Let's just say I grew bored of life."
"Bored? This Sesshoumaru sees no reason as to why the most popular Tayu in Yoshiwara would feel bored. There are countless of men who would give an arm to speak to you, and a leg to spend a night in your chamber."
The Tayu turned to look at the demon lord directly in the face, before blowing the smoke sensually in his direction. "You sugar coat your words, Lord Sesshoumaru. Now, I have a suggestion."
Silence on the part of the demon lord prompted the beautiful courtesan to continue.
"Let's do away with the formalities for tonight." She gestured elegantly with her slender hand, waving it gently. "Talk to me as if you would talk to a normal woman, not a Tayu. Just take it that you're doing a dying woman a final favor."
Sesshoumaru remained silent.
Kagome the Tayu seemed to take his silence as consent again, before continuing.
"Those men...they only want to fuck me. There's nothing else they want. Maybe that's what you want from me too, Lord Sesshoumaru. You've fucked me before right? That winter night, when the Lord of the Eastern Lands booked me as an offering to you. I did not forget that night...you were one of the rare ones who brought me intense pleasure."
It was still silence on Sesshoumaru's part.
"Pardon my audacity, Lord Sesshoumaru, but all of you men are the same. You believe that my glamorous exterior reflects happiness and contentment with life, but you have no idea how flawed you are in thinking so."
"What makes you say so? You, Higurashi, are a beautiful woman with no lack of attention from the men who have laid eyes on you. Beautiful, just like a flower. It is most probably a life which many women crave yet are unable to attain."
Self-mockery was evident in her voice when the Tayu replied. "Beautiful?"
"Yes."
"Beauty in a woman is a curse, Lord Sesshoumaru. The flower blooms, and what becomes of it eventually? It wilts. The beauty only paves the way to a pathetic demise." She said softly, yet her tone was firm with the strong belief she held in her statement. "Being born beautiful into an aristocratic family might mean a good life, but if one was like me, born so-called beautiful into a peasant's family...it would only mean one thing."
Drawing another deep breath on her pipe, she exhaled with a small sigh.
"It would mean income for the family. Much-needed income became within reach, as long as the daughter was beautiful enough to be pushed into the pits of flaming hell known as Yoshiwara. Once in, there's no way out."
Once again, she was replied with silence.
"You are finding it absurd, aren't you? Why would the flowery pleasure streets, abundant with enjoyment of both the refined and carnal sort, be likened to hell? While I do not detest what I do for a living, I find no meaning, no meaning at all in my life. The ghosts of the past have caught up with me and closed in so suffocatingly; there is no other way out except for death."
"No meaning?"
"Yes, no meaning in the least. Pardon the language, but I get fucked for a living. It is perhaps more than that, as you might point out, but behind all the fancy poetry, dance, song and calligraphy, what men come to me for is sex. No matter how hard I work at my dancing, singing and political conversations, well, it boils down to me lying on my back, legs spread, awaiting to be taken just like the cheap whore I am."
"You fascinate this Sesshoumaru, Tayu no Higurashi. First, you claim beauty to be a curse. Secondly, you do what you claim to dislike so much very well indeed."
"It so seems as if the night we spent together last winter has left a strong impression on you, Lord Sesshoumaru." Her flirting was blatant yet subtle at the very same time with reference to the second part of his statement.
Sesshoumaru's expression did not change. "It has indeed. This Sesshoumaru is unable to deny that you are talented and well-versed in the art of eroticism."
"Anyone would be, if she was trained to do so. I was sold into Yoshiwara at the age of six to be the child servant to the oirans...naturally, seeing them involved in sexual acts was rather common. I knew it was my destiny, my cursed fate, so instead of being weak at it...I figured it would be more useful to learn whatever I could. I don't deny there were times when I wished I was an ordinary woman though."
The Tayu continued, as the demon lord stood unmoving behind her on the bridge.
"Sex was pleasurable, of course. It was something I had to do, so it made more sense for me to enjoy it. I appreciate the carnal sensation of heated flesh against flesh, the erotic sounds of the coupling itself and the cries and moans emitted as the physical bodies sought the pinnacle of pleasure. Pardon how frank and crude I can get...please just allow me to be like this before I leave this terrible life behind."
"You know, sex is supposed to be gratifying. Yet ironically, I find it so hollow. It is a joke, really, when a woman is supposedly filled when the penis enters her eager body and begins to move in, and out. In, and out. Repeatedly, till both were spent and satisfied. They would slowly reach for me, undo my obi and push me down onto the futon. Then it begins, like a familiar ritual. Yet I feel dreadfully empty, and emptier especially when it all ends. It was so intimate, yet so distant. Countless of nights were spent sobbing into my perfumed pillow after the penis was withdrawn and the man left my futon for the woman his heart truly belonged to. I don't get endearing words, gentle caresses or kisses. I crave it, I crave experiencing it for myself...how it feels like to be loved and treasured. It hurts to know that I am just a good-looking vessel."
Sesshoumaru remained silent as if in deep thought, before he replied. "I am sure there are men who would love and treasure one as mesmerizing as you. It is just that you haven't met one yet."
Looking directly at the demon lord with eyes filled with hurt and painful cynicism, the Tayu asked softly, "Pray tell, Lord Sesshoumaru. Are you capable of loving me? Are you capable of treating me like a wife, whom you love and care for and spend your life with?"
She did not get an answer, and they knew very well, that no man with substantial social standing would want to take a courtesan, regardless of her ranking in the pleasure quarters, as a wife. The tragic fact would be how these courtesans get to meet no other men other than those with considerable social standing.
He saw her obvious agony, and for some odd reasons, he felt a twinge in his icy heart. He felt guilty, despite himself, for being one of those men who derived great pleasure from her lithe body and her talented mouth and hands, but yet are unable to see her as beyond a tool of pleasure.
"This...This Sesshoumaru is sorry."
"Don't apologize, Lord Sesshoumaru. It has nothing to do with you in the least. We know it only too well...I'd rather you not mask the truth with flowery words." She laughed sadly. "But I am a naïve and silly girl. Even in death, I hold on to my fantasies."
Raising her arm, she showed him the loop around her slender wrist. "I was hoping to try my luck...you know, see if I can find someone who was willing to die with me. Blame it on romanticism...I was thinking of a suicide pact. At least when my body is discovered, I'd belong to someone, not simply just a wilted flower from the Yoshiwara. And...of all people, you came along."
Sesshoumaru's face remained as stoic as ever, but years of entertainment with men made her sense the slightest tinge of humored exasperation from his tone.
"Coincidental, isn't it, that this Sesshoumaru came by to be a partner in death."
That got a laugh from her, and he realized how beautiful she looked when she was laughing, with the moonlight accentuating her pretty features. She looked ethereal. "That's impossible, Lord Sesshoumaru. Powerful demon lords like you can't possibly be killed like this. It takes a lot more for you to die, doesn't it?"
He nodded.
"Humans like me are vulnerable, I guess. We are fallible and cowardly by nature. The loneliness is something I can no longer bear. I am choosing the simple way out of this mess...by dying so I can reincarnate into a better and more dignified life. I want to be loved, to be treasured and to be someone's wife and hopefully, someone's mother."
Sesshoumaru gazed upon her, feeling inwardly confused as to why he was even bothering with this enchanting creature. Sure, they shared a night together, but other than that he knew virtually nothing else about her. Yet when he saw her sitting on the ledge of the Nihonbashi, determined to leave this wretched life she was leading, he found a compellation within himself to talk to her. He found himself walking forward to her, and gently, as gentle as he could, he cradled her face with palm and tenderly pulled her into a protective embrace.
"You mean like this, Higurashi?" He whispered softly.
She dropped the pipe in her hand, and it rolled off to the side upon hitting the wooden planks of the bridge. Inhaling sharply at the tender contact which she had never experienced before, she clung onto him tightly, taking in his strong, masculine presence and allowing herself to depend on his strength to dispel her loneliness in that moment. She felt secure, and at the same time, it made her even more melancholic than before. This was what she could never, ever have as a courtesan in the transient world of pleasure at the Yoshiwara. Lord Sesshoumaru was kind, despite his aloof and heartless reputation. He gave her what no man ever gave, and it was not even at her request.
"Call me by my name...the name I was born with..." She whispered as a lone tear fell.
He held her closer.
"What's your name?"
"Kagome..." She whispered. "Higurashi Kagome."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be continued...
A/N: This story was originally meant to be a oneshot, but it is too long and I am really tired since I came up with this entire thing in three hours! Part two will come soon, so please let me know how you feel about this new story! I know it is very different from my usual works, but I hope you guys enjoyed reading nonetheless.