Not Quite the Ying-Yang
Lady Nefertiti
Summary: The average harmonious couple? Not even…
A/N: Expect ooc-ness...and I don't own Inuyasha
-Inuyasha's forest- (confrontation near the bone-eaters well)
Things weren't supposed to end up this way but habits are hard to break, as everyone knows. Or perhaps it was the impulsive behavior of the hanyou who would never learn that you don't just go off and pick fights with your big brother or you'll end up DEAD! Or maybe it was the arrogant demeanor of the elder demon brother who never backed down from a fight, teasing? taunting? Maybe not. Testing out his power that he was better than the hanyou, perhaps. And of course a Miko who would never learn that you don't always butt into quarrels with angry demons, you might end up dead yourself.
Then there were those sitting in the sidelines, watching the show? No. They were being smart and dared not intervene even though a Monk was holding onto an angry Taijiya who wanted to jump in, all the while a kit was contemplating his position. Yes things were not going well…And how do you ask this whole thing started? Could it be honor tarnished? A dare? Inu-Taisho's prized sword? Quite amusingly it wasn't any one of those…..
"Die." Sesshomaru said softly to Inuyasha, about to raise his poison whip.
"NO YOU DIE!" Kagome yelled at Sesshomaru pointing her finger, reprimanding him like he was a bad boy who just stole a cookie or said a bad word.
"Did you just tell him to die Kagome?" Inuyasha said eyes wide, stopping mid-strike (in the air) and gaped at her.
"Hmm…I believe she did." Miroku said coolly. He knew Sesshomaru wasn't going to kill Kagome, although he was tried twice in the past. He was too big a man or demon to harm her 'ever since our two groups made a pact/peace treaty in the past that we wouldn't fight unless it was with Naraku.' Miroku mused sitting in the shade of a tree with his beloved Sango.
"Umm..Kagome is it perhaps your time of the month? Whatever that is?" Inuyasha said timidly. No use getting on her bad side, she still refused to remove the blasted necklace off of him! And she and Kikyo were okay with each other now too! Women sometimes!
Kagome turned around and said, "No Inuyasha it is not my time."
"What is this 'your-time-of-the-month' Kagome-mama?" Shippo asked her cutely.
"INUYASHA! YOU'RE A BAD INFLUENCE TO EVERYONE!" Kagome said raising her fist to him. Inuyasha flattened his ears. Okay so maybe he had over-reacted a bit…..hey it WAS what he heard after all! He was trying to protect Kagome from his high and mighty brother who's flirting with his Kagome and here she gets all mad! But who in the world would believe that Sesshomaru was a flirt? Inuyasha, sometimes you really never learn.
"Sesshomaru here was NOT asking me to mate him you BAKA!!He was asking me something else and you have to go all and jump to hanyou-like conclusions!" Kagome said pointing at him. Inuyasha cringed.
"So you're saying that I'm worthy of mating you?" Sesshomaru asked her calmly putting away that poison whip of his.
"You don't want to mate her!" Inuyasha said angrily. This was not going well!
"I think that's a fabulous idea. What do you think Sango my dear?" Miroku said.
"When did I say I wanted to mate you in the first place? You're just putting words in my mouth!" Kagome said, gritting her teeth.
"I think that's Kagome's decision." Sango said. Interesting. Inuyasha was jealous and he was mated after all…he had no right to be jealous. Oh how she remembered the day when Inuyasha came hand-in-hand with Kikyo into the camp saying that his mate would be joining their group. No one payed attention to Inuyasha but stared at Kagome who had gone silent. She was so relieved that Kagome hadn't made a scene, gone home crying or gone and had 'fun' with the next demon she saw. Sango leaned back as she looked at Sesshomaru. His presence in this group had somehow changed Kagome and it was for the better, she hoped. Kagome held herself up a bit differently. Sesshomaru happened to be good influence, oddly.
"This is your fault!" Kagome said pointing back at Sesshomaru who just raised an eyebrow at her.
"Indeed?" he said.
"Why would you of all people tell me something like that and then act all innocent?" Kagome said.
"Ah-ha! I knew he said something bad to you Kagome!" Inuyasha said. Miroku perked up at this. He so wanted to know what it was! He could add it to his 'To do' list. Hentai….the lovable fool that he was earned a smack by his Sango.
"This Sesshomaru joined your group…" he started but got cut off.
"To mate Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled.
"Inuyasha…" Kagome said, about to sit him.
"Inuyasha maybe you should hear him out instead of trying to jump to conclusions." Sango said.
"So do I call you papa now Sesshomaru-sama?" Shippo asked him.
'….'
"I don't want to mate you!" Kagome said crossing her arms.
Okay then….but when did he ask her?
"Very well, it's not this Sesshomaru likes you." He said.
"So you're calling me ugly and unlikable?" Kagome said stalking over to him.
"woman, this Sesshomaru wants you to…." But he was cut off.
"I don't want you!" Kagome said.
"The only reason I let you join this group was…." Kagome started.
"Good god! I give up! The both of you argue like an old married couple." Inuyasha said raising his hands in the air but he was being ignored by Sesshomaru and Kagome.
There were some people in this group who were appalled by Inuyasha's statement, then some who smirked and then some who needed some sort of explanation. Someone needed to break it up and soon. Kagome was standing near Sesshomaru yet she was not close enough to touch him, let alone realize their close proximity. Either she was brave or very foolish since no female dared venture this close to an aristocratic assassin and live to tell the tale.
"I don't think that Sesshomaru and I should be married!" Kagome huffed at Inuyasha. "He's so not my type. After all, I don't want a white-haired, cold-hearted husband whose eyes turn red when he's pissed off and tries to kill me! Or kill you for that matter Inuyasha? Someone I care about!"
"Are you telling this Sesshomaru that you prefer that hanyou over me?" he asked her. He didn't know why he was engaging in witty banter with this Miko but it was fun. Ever since he had joined this rag-tag tachi group, sometimes it seemed to just be chaos and Naraku well Kagura attacks seemed more frequent which was fine by him, as long as Rin was not here and back safe at the palace.
'And what of our miko mate? You argue with her like you've been mated for generations!' his beast said. Sesshomaru sighed as he looked at the miko. His beast would never give up on his constant prodding that the Miko was his 'their' mate. It was annoying really.
"Are you planning on two-timing like Inuyasha, Kagome-sama?" Miroku asked her gasping. Oh honestly Miroku, with all the comments and actions you portray why aren't you an editor of some gossip column or something along those lines? Hmm...on second thought even the girls of playboy would run away from you,
"This Sesshomaru's hair is silver by the way, and what is this 'marriage' you speak of?" he asked her.
"Something you and I will never be!" Kagome said.
'Were we just dissed by our mate?' Sesshomaru's beast pondered.
'Could be.' his conscious said.
"You're not REALLY thinking about mating this half-breed are you? He is beneath you. You Miko, deserve an intelligent and perhaps a powerful male not some weak hanyou who swings an heirloom sword like a child." Sesshomaru said wisely.
"What are you saying? That you and I should get together since you are 'all powerful?' Kagome said. "not going to happen buddy and don't think that this peace treaty us groups made makes it better! It doesn't matter what little Rin said. Sometimes you just cross the damn lines!" Kagome said, eyes flashing with anger making Inuyasha cringe in fear. An angry Kagome was a dangerous Kagome. Enough said. He didn't want to get into the middle of this lover's tiff.
"Well whatever you two! I want to know what Sesshomaru said to Kagome!" Inuyasha said. Sango nodded and was equally interested. True that Sesshomaru had joined their group, and this time it wasn't because that human child Rin asked or told him to.
"Fine! I'll tell you and just to let you know that Sesshomaru isn't some two-timing pervert!"
"Why thank you Kagome. Does this mean you're warming up to this Sesshomaru? " Sesshomaru asked her. Kagome's eye twitched. Both brother's were ever so insufferable!
"No. We're still very cold." She said. Yeesh Kagome, Sesshomaru must have said something really bad had you been this embarrassed and angry about it. Or maybe it was Inuyasha overhearing and you and Sesshomaru were 'just getting started' lol…..but then how come you minded SO much about it?Minded that someone had overheard the both of you talking to one another. Is it because you knew it was the truth and didn't want to think about it? Or were you angry that Inuyasha had been snooping on you because he didn't trust you with his older half brother because he was afraid you'd elope with him? Not a bad idea, damn….which female wouldn't want to elope with him? Lol….and HA! Inuyasha knows it's the truth too! That his brother has the whole 'package' and he is nothing compared to him.
"Kagome-sama do tell…." Miroku said. He'd never seen her so flustered before. Kagome was never this mad before and her acting as such was out of her usual character. She was usually a happy-go-lucky person who even made friends with the likes of Sesshomaru but now she was basically yelling, chewing and bitching everyone out. She did look rather appealing when she was flushed out like….
(BONK!)
And alas there was a swirly-eyed monk on the ground. Sango knew what that monk was thinking. Would he never grow up and learn? It was such a nice day out and their tachi had to spend it out in a confrontation of sorts. Sango fanned herself and looked at the inu brothers and Kagome standing between the two. Surely they weren't going to kill each other now were they? She didn't feel like stepping in. 'Kagome, surely you know better….' Sango thought.
"I never took you for the fact that you'd ever love murderer's wench!" Inuyasha said.
"Don't call her a wench, hanyou." Sesshomaru said. This half-brother of his would never grow up and learn to respect the female kind! His so-called-mate Kikyo was weird and even Sesshomaru stayed away from her..(ahem ahem….he just didn't want to accidently kill her)
"Ah-ha! You're protecting her! What are you two up to?" Inuyasha said raising his fist victoriously. "Surely you don't love her?" he said.
"Sesshomaru isn't a murderer! He...err...uhm...he makes...he upholds the law by getting rid of bad demons... yeah!" Kagome said.
uh-huh...sure...
"This Sesshomaru loves no one." He said. Kagome blinked at him, well the both of them and sighed deeply. Baka's….
Miroku jumped up suddenly, rather randomly and said, "Did I miss anything juicy?"
'...'
"I'm surprised you don't care for me or my well being Sesshomaru." Kagome said. Everyone turned and looked at Kagome then, surprised about her blunt and sudden statement. She suddenly went calm and serious like. "It was you, after all, who asked me whether I was going to have a baby or a pup?"
There was dead silence amongst the group as everyone looked at one another and no one wanted to make eye contact with Kagome.
"SESSHOMARU WTF? I DIDN'T HEAR THAT PART!" Inuyasha yelled at his half-brother.
Miroku fainted again….
Sesshomaru sighed deeply…
Kikyo looked scandalized that Kagome dare call herself a Miko….
Shippo held back confusion since he didn't know what was going on and that was odd considering he was old, in demon years that is…..
Sango well….Sango held back giggles. She had a feeling she knew what Kags was up to…excellent facial expression by the way, just like Sesshomaru's.
'Wait. when did we make mate 'preggers?' who was it? Was it somone else? I'll rip his damn throat and living heart out!' Sesshomaru's beast said angrily.
'...'
It was uncomfortable within the inu-tachi group as no one knew what to say. Sesshomaru being within the group now was causing quite a commotion or rather a confrontation between the males…naming two inu-brothers… after all their mother wasn't here to tell them to 'play nice boys. ' Why hadn't anyone said anything yet? The silence was deafening to the ears and it was causing the inevitable truth from spilling. And what was up with that shocking statement from Kagome? And Sesshomaru? Who hadn't said anything to her, disagreed with her that what she had said was false? And that she was below him? Etc…etc…
'We shall not rip anyone's heart out and Kagome is not our mate.' Sesshomaru said to his beast. Honestly! Sometimes his beast got out of hand that's why he kept him locked.
'Says you!' his beast said grumbling.
"Why are you yelling at Sesshomaru, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked him confused. Inuyasha looked at her like she was stupid.
"How dare he ask you a personal question like that? It's not like he goes around asking everyone personal things like that!" Inuyasha said. Something was wrong here. Why the hell were they defending each other? Why was Sango sitting there all calm, like this was he most amusing situation she'd landed into? and Miroku looking around for something. Good thing that they hadn't invented cameras or video or real paper yet, Miroku was one who could write a best-selling book for things like this. A couple having a lover's spat...wait what was he saying? there was no lovers or no spat!
"Hanyou…Why do you just read between the lines? Perhaps you should listen to the whole conversation before you jump to hanyou-like conclusions…." Sesshomaru said as Inuyasha glared at him.
"Yeah, its not like we were talking about anything bad…" Kagome said. Sheesh! He'd been like this ever since Sesshomaru joined their group! Like Kagome was going to make off with his brother. Its not like he even had any place to be jealous either! She was a free woman and he was mated to his Kikyo-pot!
"Oh well that's a shame now isn't it…." Miroku said taking his place next to Sango again.
"Do you really think that this Sesshomaru would do anything dishonorable as you have done to Kagome, mutt? Cheating on Kagome with a clay miko who is unable to feel, love or bear pups." Sesshomaru said running a hand through his silver hair.
"Ahh…so we're back to our previous subject about pup bearing…." Miroku said happily. It was too bad he didn't have parchment to take notes on, the happy hentai that he was…now his happy 'bubble' was deflated and he just sighed and decided to watch for sport. ha-ha...guess some people were amused about this...
"For the hundredth time I am NOT MATING Sesshomaru! Got it? We don't have anything in common anyway, besides a goal and that it to kill Naraku. Sesshomaru asked me a simple question about what I was going to do after the Shikon was completed! Was I going to stay here or am I going to go back home? He asked that since I am a powerful Miko, will I bear human or demon pups?" Kagome said in an exasperated voice. She turned her back to both brothers and huffed angrily. Maybe she would go back home! She was going to get high blood pressure at this rate! Why was Inuyasha so damn curious?
"Do not stress yourself Kagome. He will always be his usual emotion filled hanyou self." Sesshomaru said nodding his head regally. Kagome watched his head shake and tried stopping a wanting sigh...ahh...so beautiful that head of his...ahem, ahem..back to the subject.
"Do you like my silver hair Ka-go-me?" Sesshomaru said in a teasing voice. He, being a demon could obviously pick up Kagome's scent, and her soft sigh and possibly what she was thinking. Kagome shook her head out of her 'happy place thoughts' and glared at him. "Perhaps you're wondering what it feels like? would you like to run your fingers through my soft and silky hair?" Sesshomaru continued.
'Yes! touch me my beloved koi-mate!' Sesshomaru's beast said giddily.
'Cocky bastard ain't he.' Miroku thought smirking inwardly.
"You! I don't like anything about you!" Kagome said to him and crossing her arms.
"And she ain't touching you anywhere hentai!" Inuyasha said. The gall of his half-brother! What was he going on about? How dare he let Kagome fall into a false sense of security like that?
"You're scent says otherwise." Sesshomaru said.
"Grrr..." Kagome growled.
'That is sooo sexy!' Sesshomaru's beast said sighing. That's it. Sesshomaru was putting his beast away.
"Why you!" Inuyasha started and ran at him with his sword. The usual...
"Sit boy." Kagome said.
(Boom!)
"That never ceases to amuse me." Sango said smiling from far away. 'Kagome, truly, you are the only female that I have seen that can stand your ground against Sesshomaru and somewhat control his behavior.'
"At least he has feelings and emotions!" Kagome said rounding on him. "You on the other hand, I have no idea sometimes what you are thinking, what you are doing and I can't read you!"
"And why Miko would you try so hard to find out? Is there something you wish to know about me? Surely the silent ones such as myself must hold some secrets you wish to discover. " Sesshomaru smirked. Kagome turned red. He'd got her. She didn't know why but now that he was a part of this group she wanted to know everything about him.
"That's really curious of the both of them isn't it?" Miroku mumbled to himself but Sango heard it. It was Shippo then that brought up a very good question that many overlooked.
"Sesshomaru-sama, being the powerful demon that you are, you are capable of defeating Naraku yourself and yet you travel with us, why?" Shippo asked cutely and jumped onto Kagome's shoulder.
'…'
Now why hadn't the grown-ups thought about that? Of course the ladies minus Kikyo were happy that Sesshomaru was here, Sango on behalf of having extra protection and another one to fight against Naraku and Kagome? Well….she had other reasons.
Inuyasha jumped out of his crater, flattened his ears and jumped into a tree, which was the only thing that he could do right now. But why would Sesshomaru care to know what type and race her future kids were going to be anyway? It was like he wanted to reassure himself of something. He didn't like it. He looked down at Kikyo who shook her head, a sign to tell him to let the both of them be. That Kagome wasn't so stupid as to fall for the likes such as Sesshomaru. She was a miko and they all were sworn to an oath, she'd be damned if she betrayed her kind. A bit of witty banter, a few choice words never hurt anyone. However, this didn't reassure Inuyasha much.
"You know its interesting Sesshomaru, at first I thought Inuyasha and Kagome seemed like a married couple but I was wrong!" Shippo started. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at this, Kagome just coughed, and didn't make eye contact with Sesshomaru and said that it was time to set up camp. "But now I see that you and her seem to be married more because my mama and papa argued but they never yelled at each other and mama never sat papa!" Shippo said merrily. "So does this make Rin my big sister?"
Sango and Miroku doubled over with laughter, Inuyasha 'keh'd' and Kikyo shook her head disapprovingly. Kagome turned fire-engine red but nothing came out of her mouth. What could she POSSIBLY say to that? She was no ideal lady of the western lands. Ha, Sesshomaru would laugh before that happened. Seriously, he would laugh...
Ahh….kids and their cute innocent questions that seemed to embarrass the hell out of adults…as true as it may be too….
"Why is everyone trying to ship me and all ready to send me off with Sesshomaru?" Kagome said angrily holding up the spoon she was stirring the ramen in the pot with. A weapon?
"Is you're hatred for this Sesshomaru so much Kagome?" he asked her sounding like a wounded puppy.
"No. I don't hate you, I don't like you, I just…..well Sesshomaru" Kagome stuttered on her words.
How to explain this to a demon! If she said she loved him he'd take it that she wanted to mate him, if she said she liked him he'd assume that she wanted to be courted, if she said she cared then…then wait maybe she said they could be friends? No. Demons didn't have friends like that. Hmm…Maybe she should just ignore him and keep her distance from him now on! Yeah! That seemed logical enough.
Well we'll see how that works out with you Kags...
-Inuyasha-
His brother, half-brother irked him to no end! He was a pain when he wasn't here with them and he was a pain when he was with them! Now the entire group was pro-Sesshomaru and his mating or blessing Kagome to mate with Sesshomaru! I mean seriously...WTF? He looked down at Kagome from his high perch on the tree and caught Sesshomaru raising an eyebrow at him, looking at him like he was beneath him once again...sigh...
This was going to be a long night...
Kagome had never stuttered on her words before. She looked at Sesshomaru but he said nothing to her. Oh the infuriating demon! What was his deal anyway? She just never got him and when she did he was just so annoying! He said something then does something else! GAH!
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kagome said.
"This Sesshomaru was wondering whether he was worthy of being your mate." He said smirking at a red-faced Kagome. Was he for real? Was this a dream? Did she hit her head on something? really hard?
"Oi! I do believe that I should have a say in this!" Inuyasha said. Really why was his brother being so…so…teasing Kagome like that?
"Really?" Sango said looking thoughtful for a minute. Why should Inuyasha have a say whether Kagome should or rather want to mate with Sesshomaru. She should just jump at the chance. Sure he was a demon yes, but he was a good looking demon and Sango could never kill him with her boomerang. That is if she even had a chance which would end up her dead, Miroku infuriated, Kagome sad and then Kagome would never mate with Sesshomaru! Really the both of them were quite annoying.
"Great! So this means that Sesshomaru is now my new papa!" Shippo said happily.
'…' Not even. The both were still very cold and Kagome wasn't being very helpful at the moment. She didn't like Sesshomaru! Why?
"How nice! You can't keep your eyes off of him!" Miroku said.
"That's because she's wary that he might kill her when her back is turned!" Kikyo said.
"No one asked you to interfere!" Kagome, Miroku and Sango said together. Really who was she to give tips on whether it was okay or not and him killing her while her back was turned? Really, only a low-class demon with no real power would stoop to such a level.
"Why don't you like this Sesshomaru?" he asked her.
"I…because…you…well its just…." Kagome stumbled on her words. Why did she not like him?
"Ah, so its love then!" Miroku said happily. Everyone turned to stare at him. Why was everyone just deciding for her? She, Kagome could not live or rather spend her life with someone who wanted to or was trying to kill her!
"Don't you hate humans? And I'm a human miko. I could try and purify you in your sleep you know." Kagome said.
"But you will not." Sesshomaru said in a self-assured voice. Kagome bit her lip. Yeah he was right. She would never try and kill him. She always tried to protect Inuyasha by trying to kill him but she could never do it on her own and it wasn't just because he was so so…perfect looking but it was something maybe his voice?
'Is that all you have for him?' her conscious said shaking its head. How about cold, mysterious, sexy? And all yours… shall I go on? 'And wouldn't you rather 'sink your paws' so to speak into him rather than some stuck-up demoness who wanted a title, his power and expensive kimonos?'
Okay so maybe she was warming up the idea of him. It wasn't such a bad thought come to think of it and even her friends were supporting her. Of course Inuyasha would complain about it! Even though he was mated! He was trying to protect a friend, it was a blow to his ego and lose her to his cold-hearted older half-brother? Heck he'd rather lose her to Kouga or that Hobo guy from the future!
"Can I come with you when you go with Sesshomaru? Kagome-mama?" Shippo asked her cutely.
"umm…sure Shippo I guess." Kagome said without really thinking. Sesshomaru smirked. Miroku got this lecherous look on his face, Kikyo looked disgusted and was trying to hold her Inuyasha back from jumping at the chance at his brother and trying to kill him. She was saying that he could always go and visit them.
"We'll come and visit as much as possible! Miroku and I will be living at Kaede's village together!" Sango said. Miroku got this serious look on his face and held her hand, yes her hand this time.
"Does this mean you'll marry me and bear my children? 5, even 10?" he asked her, gasping at the thought. Sango nodded and blushed and then looked away. He looked shocked and then fainted….yes fainted at the thought. Sango sighed and shook him. Kagome smiled softly. Looks like everything was coming together finally. And now everyone would be happy, married and/or mated.
"So about us…." Kagome said turning around to face Sesshomaru.
"There is an 'us' now Ka-go-me?" he said.
"Don't tease me!" she said huffing. The both weren't aware that they had a very large audience right now and they were watching this with avid interest. Hopefully they wouldn't botch things up, but arguing was healthy in a relationship right?
"This Sesshomaru would like you as his mate." He said seriously.
'…'
"REALLY?" Kagome said shrieking with happiness. "Do you have any idea how long I've wished for you to say that you cared about me, let alone ask me that?" and Kagome basically jumped on him hugging him.
"Really?" Sango said jumping up, completely and utterly shocked as well. Oww ears….
"No way!" Inuyasha said and was about to yank his heirloom sword out when….
(CLANG!) and his head was met by Miroku's staff.
Tsk…Tsk Inuyasha….you deserved that. How can you stand between such happiness and love between two very different people?
"Well the two of you should be off now shouldn't you? You've got everyone's blessings!" Miroku said in a firm and serious voice and then gave a happy little wave.
"#$$#^%^#$%$%!" a voice came from a crater.
Sesshomaru took her arm and both were about to walk off when Kagome said, "Sesshomaru I just wanted to say, I'll purify your ass if you have an affair or something behind my back." Kagome said in a sweet voice and kissed his cheek.
"This Sesshomaru wouldn't dream of it. But I do look forward to your words from before." He said, earning a smack from Kagome. Unknown that Sango had hearts in her eyes, Miroku had a lecherous look on his face, Inuyasha was on the ground, hit my Miroku's staff.
"What is this term 'affair' my mate?" Sesshomaru asked her.
"Oh Sesshomaru, I've got ages to teach you everything I know…." Kagome said laughing.
Lady Nefertiti: please read and review!