Leprechaun: Feudal Style
By Danyealle
I don’t own Inuyasha, Godzilla or the Leprechaun movies (where the title comes from) and make no money off this exercise in idiocy.
Happy St. Patty’s Day!
Summary:
Sesshomaru learns the hard way that one should never run afoul of a leprechaun.
Walking through the thick stand of trees, Sesshomaru was enjoying the peace and quiet afforded him at this juncture of his journey. Right now, he was alone. Following up a lead in an area that was deemed dangerous, he had left Jaken with Rin, choosing to go it alone. Though trepidatious about the whole thing, as hunting Naraku was always a difficult chore since one never knew what the manipulative being was up to, he was relaxed, confident that he could take whatever the spider hanyou would throw at him.
Following his nose and instinct, he wandered through the thick span of trees until something odd reached his nose. Stopping and closing his eyes, he tried to focus on it to determine not only where it was coming from but what it was. The former, he determined quickly but the latter, he was still confused about. The best he could place it was the smell of freshly melted gold and some kind of grass-like scent but both were slightly ‘off; nor could he figure out what kind of creature might be emitting that kind of smell. Curious, wondering if it was some kind of new incarnation of the spider hanyou, he decided to investigate.
When he arrived at a large tree where his nose had led him, he arched an elegant eyebrow. Arced down from the sky was a brilliant rainbow that ended right at the base of it. Sitting there was a strange, portly, small fellow dressed all in green with black shoes of a kind he had never seen, adorned with highly polished golden buckles. Unsure of just what kind of creature this is or where it may have come from, he drew Tokijin and, before the odd little man could move, he held the tip of the evil blade to his throat. Snarling, he barked out, “Where is Naraku?”
Startled, not having heard the being sneak up on him, the leprechaun froze. His eyes turned up and he stared at the being that had confronted him. The leprechaun, Greenie Ettercap by name, was still disoriented. There had been a storm of some kind, one that had to been generated by some magical means, that had lifted him up and carried him away from his beloved Ireland as he was tending to his pot of gold. Now, he was trying to gather his bearings and figure out just where he was. From what he could tell, he wasn’t in Ireland anymore. Everything was all new and strange to him. But just where he had been deposited by the storm, he wasn’t sure. Looking up at the fearsome creature, one he was certain wasn’t human, he gulped nervously then said a cheery, “Top o’ the morning to ye, stranger!”
Eyes hardening, Sesshomaru reiterated, “Where is Naraku?” He wasn’t all that sure that this being had anything to do with the malevolent hanyou but wanted to be sure. He suspected this was a displaced being of some kind. Though he could understand what was being said by the little man, he had a very strange accent, something that he couldn’t place as having ever heard before. It was actually making it hard for him to understand anything this creature had to say.
“Narakee? I know no Narakee, good sire!” Greenie told the towering being with a shake of his head. Quite frankly, there was something about this being that had him uptight and he felt that he was in personal danger. Usually, he could deal with most creatures that he came across using his magic. But the malevolence that was coming off the sword at his throat and the power of the aura from the being holding the weapon, made him wary. Normally, he would fight for his gold or try to trick the being to where he could keep it but, in this case, he decided to give it up. Greed was a common theme in most intelligent beings so he hoped that giving it up would allow him to be released. Smiling broadly, he stated, tone jolly, “Ye, sire, have caught me so my pot o’ gold is yers!” Waving his hand, the magic around the black kettle dropped, revealing it and its shiny, sparkling content.
Eyes flickering to the fortune contained in that odd pot, the daiyoukai was tempted but, as he still didn’t know if this being was attached to Naraku in some way, he wasn’t going to sheath his sword. “How do I know this isn’t a trick by Naraku?”
“Kind sire, I know no Narakee I tell ye!” Greenie emphasized emphatically. The point of the large weapon was piercing his skin and putting him on edge as he was unsure just what this being planned for him.
Eyes flickering to the gold again, Sesshomaru was leaning towards believing this odd being but was unsure if he was safe to let go. There was a magical aura about him, one that was not only strong but odd, not like anything he had encountered before. That stayed his hand from sheathing his sword. In fact, he was pretty sure that he should eliminate this threat before it could spread. Who knew what havoc this magical creature could cause in Japan? No, it was better to rid the country of the threat before it began.
Stepping back, he made it look as though he was going to sheath his katana, keeping a surreptitious eye on the odd little man. When he saw the little portly fellow relax slightly, he struck with his inhuman speed in an attempt to strike him down.
Just as he was sure this odd being was going to let him go, Greenie’s internal warning system went off in time for him to make his magic flare and protect himself from being struck down by deflecting the blow. Holding his hands out in front of him, now angered by the unprovoked blow, he bellowed, “Ye are a knave, sire! Nay, it is wrong to strike down an unarmed man! I curse you! Curse you to your worst nightmare!” Since he didn’t know what kind of creature this was, he didn’t know what would work best with him. So, instead, he decided to use a general curse and assume it would work no matter the being.
Suddenly, Sesshomaru gasped as a green and gold beam of power from the small man surrounded him and he felt his body start to pull inwards. The beam covering him completely, he was sure he was shrinking in some way but all he could see was the sparkling green and gold light dancing before his eyes. Though slightly painful, it wasn’t so bad that he thought he was dying or anything. Then, suddenly, he felt his body pop in the same kind of way that happened when he shifted to his beast form. Blinking madly, he gazed around.
At first, he thought that everything had grown because even the small man towered over him but, quickly, he realized that he had somehow shrunk. Blinking rapidly, he gazed down at his body and was startled to find that he was in his beast form. Thinking that was not an issue, he tried to shift back up somehow, but whatever this being had done had bound his youkai and he was unable to shift. Instinctively, he tried to form his youkai whip or make his cloud form but found he couldn’t. He was stuck in a very small version of his beast form. Oh no, this wasn’t good!
Nodding, pleased with how this had worked out, Greenie smiled almost evilly. “Ye, sire, are cursed! Where and when it will break, I know not. Let this be a lesson to ye; meddle not with a leprechaun!” Gathering his magic, Greenie then nodded to the white, fluffy puppy-sized dog sitting there, looking lost and confused, then nodded, vanishing in a sparkle of gold, hoping that he would find his way home.
Blinking rapidly, Sesshomaru gazed at the place the strange being had vanished from then immediately began to try to figure out what to do next. Quickly, he decided that he should head to the fortress. One of the witches that he employed was sure to know how to break this curse.
xXx
Stomping through the trees, Kagome was abusing Inuyasha under her breath as she did. It hadn’t been a good day and she had to ‘sit’ the hanyou in order for them to stop so she could take a break. Now he was just in a foul mood. No, this wasn’t going to be a good night.
As she wasn’t paying attention, she about tripped over the small dog that seemed to be cowering in the underbrush. Hearing the soft growl, she crouched down and looked at the creature all but squealing at how cute it was! White and fluffy, with the most amazing golden eyes, it looked like a shiba inu, about 14 inches tall, though with long hair and floppy ears. Reaching out and rubbing its head, she said in her most calming voice, “Hey there, little guy! Are you lost?” Picking up the puppy that seemed to be trembling in fear, she held it close and tried to look for a collar or tag on it. Though this was the feudal era, usually if the dog was owned by someone there was something on it to indicate such a thing. But she found nothing. Petting his head, she had noticed it was a boy, she cuddled it close to make him feel safe. “I bet you don’t have a home, do you? I guess you can come with me. You’re too cute to be left alone with no one to take care of you!”
Struggling a little to try to get away from the hanyou’s miko, Sesshomaru began to bark, trying to tell her to leave him alone but was appalled to find that the only thing that came out was a high-pitched, puppy-like bark that had the slip of a girl giggling and cooing over how cute it was. Oh no, this wasn’t boding well for him at all. She didn’t seem at all threatened by anything he did and had apparently ‘adopted’ him. Whatever curse that strange being had put on him seemed to have worked in spades because it was like his worst nightmare come true. Struggling, he was horrified to find himself whining like a puppy, something he hadn’t done even when he was a pup! But it was to no avail, he couldn’t get loose.
After she had hauled him back to the pack, he slumped and gave up the fight. She had made it apparent to the whelp that she was keeping him and would brook no fight, even ‘sitting’ the boy to punctuate her argument. The only thing he was thankful for was the fact that no one seemed to be to tell it was him. That was an indignity, if it were to come to pass, that he doubted he could endure.
But, little did he know, the worst was yet to come….
xXx
A week later the daiyoukai, still in his cursed form, found himself sitting in the miko’s bedroom by the window contemplating throwing himself out of it in a suicide attempt. If he thought the whole curse just encompassed being a cute little dog, he found out that he was wrong, dead wrong. In fact, the true curse was worse.
The miko, it seemed, had taken a real shine to him, dubbing him her Fluffy-kins, bringing him home with her. Once there, he had been cuddled, cooed over, petted, snuggled, kissed and all manner of horrifying and indignant things by her family, especially her mother, and a troop of giggling ningen girls. On top of that, he had been to the vet to get shots and other things he was sure he would have nightmares about for the rest of his life. If that wasn’t bad enough, she had bathed him, used a device called a blow dryer on his fur, something that bothered his sensitive hearing, making his fur all poofy. Then, much to his abject horror, decided to dress him up in all manner of disgustingly cute clothing made just for dogs complete with a sparkly collar. For the daiyoukai, it was sickening and demoralizing to be put in such a humiliating position. To top all that off, she carried him everywhere in some kind of pouch so that the whole world could see his humiliation. This wasn’t right!
Sitting there, he tried to chew the latest costume she had stuffed him in. It was a baby blue ‘Godzilla suit’ with sparkling fake jewels down the flutes that were along its ‘spine’. He hated the thing and fully planned to chew it off then shred the offending fake fur costume in protest. It was the only way, at this point, that he had to protest the situation that he found himself in. But, as she didn’t ever leave him alone for long, he never usually got that far in the endeavor.
Just as he was gnawing at the tail of the dumb thing, she came in and scooped him up, cuddling him close much to his disgust. Whining and wiggling around, hoping to be put down, he protested the kiss she planted on his nose.
Keeping her voice light, Kagome put him in the bag she had for him then said, “Come on Fluffy-wuffy-kins, it’s time to go to the vet. Today you’re getting neutered!”
That was it! There was no way he was going to allow anyone to perform that operation! He would be throwing himself down the shrine steps, he decided. Better death than…. No, it was too horrid to contemplate!
xXx
Sitting bolt upright in bed, the daiyoukai let out a horrified whine of fear, looking around wildly. Realizing that it was all just a dream, he sighed and flopped back down, trying to calm his hammering heart and wiping the cold sweat off his brow. Now he remembered why he shouldn’t indulge in that stupid green beer everyone served on St. Patrick’s Day. It always gave him the worst nightmares!
Rolling onto his side, he curled up next to the miko then rested his head against hers for comfort and as a way for her miko powers to purge the horrid visions from his mind. Then and there, he decided that the following year they would not be indulging in the stupid holiday and would lock themselves away from all merriment associated with it.
After a surreptitious grope of his groin to ensure that everything was, indeed, intact, assuring himself that part was just a dream, he gave a sigh of relief and tried to once more doze off, willing himself to not have any more nightmares.
Just before sliding back to sleep, he promised himself that if he ever ran across a leprechaun, he would eat the damn thing and enjoy it no matter the heartburn that could come from it. No sense in courting danger, after all.