Okay, this is for KEdakumi's "He Said What?" Challenge! I used a line that PheonixBlade came up with in the "Things Sesshomaru Would Never Say" thread, so she gets credit for it. Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Kagome sighed in exasperation and did a face palm as she watched a drunken Sesshomaru twirl around in their front yard. He had a bottle of Vodka in his hand. Kagome's face flushed when she noticed how most of the neighbors were staring at them.
"Sesshomaru!" She hissed, "come inside."
He stopped twirling and glanced at her, "But koi it's such a prettyful night." He said before resuming his twirling. After two more minutes of twirling, he fell on his stomach. "Ouch!" He shouted.
Kagome sighed before going to help him up. When she got there he was pulling himself up. Kagome squatted next to him and reached for his hand, "Come on."
He grabbed her hand and once he was up Kagome wrapped her arms around him and started walking to the front door. When they were halfway there Sesshomaru stopped, he looked at the ground, then back to where he was standing. Deciding it was to far a walk he said.
"Carry me." Before falling backward.
Surprised, and not wanting him to fall she tried to catch him, only to fall with him on top of her.
"Ow." Kagome complained. Sesshomaru looked down at her and said, "Koi, you really should get yourself under control, I mean, we're outside." Before giggling hysterically.
Kagome groaned and rolled him off. Sesshomaru stood up and began twirling again as Kagome panted trying to regain her breath. Standing up she called, "Sesshomaru! Get inside now."
Sesshomaru pranced over to her and leaned in really close, "Guess what Kagome." He then whispered in her ear, "I'm not wearing any underwear." Before laughing.
Rolling her eyes Kagome told him, "Sure you’re not."
Nodding vigorously, Sesshomaru said, "Really look." Before pulling his pants down.
Kagome's eyes widened in shock as the not so little Sesshomaru came into view.
Sesshomaru grinned, "Told you so." He said before pulling his pants all the way off, he turned and ran down the street pulling his shirt off as well singing, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world."
Kagome came out of her shocked stupor and ran after him, "Sesshomaru! Get back here and put your clothes on!"
After fifteen minutes of running Kagome heard sirens and a police car pulled up in front of Sesshomaru who was just ahead of her, still with a bottle of Vodka in his hand.
The police officer stepped out of his car and pointed the light from his flashlight on Sesshomaru. "SIR! Stop right there!"
Sesshomaru blinked in confusion and tried to shield his eyes from the harsh light.
"Where are your clothes?"
"Umm ahh I don't- know." Sesshomaru slurred.
"Sir, are you drunk?" The officer asked.
Sesshomaru looked at the bottle in his hand and quickly his it behind his back. "N-no" He lied.
Kagome finally caught up and she said, "Sorry officer, yes he's drunk, I was wondering if I can just take him home."
Sesshomaru shook his head and said, "I swear to drunk I'm not God!"
Kagome sighed and repeated, "Can I just take him home?"
The officer shook his head, he wanted to let her, but he had to do hi job, "I'm sorry miss, but public nudity is against the law. He must spend the night in jail, but you can pick him up in the morning."
Nodding in understanding Kagome said, "Alright, I'll be there in the morning, what time will he be released?"
The officer said, "Anytime after ten am, you may bail him out."
Kagome nodded ok. She turned to walk away, but the officer stopped her, "Do you need a ride home?" He asked.
She shook her head, "No, I'm fine, I live just up the street, but thank you." She then turned and began walking home.
The officer handed Sesshomaru a blanked, handcuffed him and after helping him into the cruiser, drove away.
~Next Morning~
Kagome walked up to the cell in which Sesshomaru was in and called out, "Sesshomaru!"
Said person groggily woke up. "Huh?" He glanced around the cell confused. "Where am I?" Looking down he saw that he was naked, and quickly drew the blanket from the night before around himself.
"Kagome what is going on?" He asked his smirking wife.
"Oh, nothing." She replied, "I'm just bailing you out of jail."
Sesshomaru's brow furrowed in confusion.
Just then a female officer stepped forward and opened the cell, when Sesshomaru stepped out she smirked and whistled.
Sesshomaru's eyes widened and with a grinning Kagome, quickly walked out.
Kagome smiled, "Let's go home mate." She told him.
Sesshomaru nodded and said, "What happened?"
Kagome smirked, "It's a long story."
Well that's all. I really hope you guys enjoyed it, and once again credit for the "underwear" thing goes to PheonixBlade. Well, review!!