A/N: I'm baaaaaack! Mwuahahaha! I shall be updating a lot of things today once I get them all transfered to the new computer. Maybe even a new chapter of How to Kill before DoD maims me for neglect. Anywhoo! This is a bit of crack to help get me back into S/K mode. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters which are property of Rumiko Takehashi. I do not profit from this fanfiction.
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Oh, how the mighty had fallen. The once proud and pristine Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshomaru, stood haggard and disheveled on the sidewalk glaring at a building. Centuries upon centuries had taken its toll on the daiyoukai. Since losing his lands and being forced into hiding when the humans overtook Japan, Sesshomaru was finding it to be increasingly difficult to feed and clothe himself and those he considered his. It was too difficult to blend in, let alone procure the necessary documentation for anything more than menial jobs.
Sesshomaru sighed. This was no longer a time to be proud, he would do his duty to his people. Stoic façade in place, he walked confidently into the Tokyo Sperm Bank.
The scent of human seed and cleaning materials assaulted his sensitive nose, and it was all the Inu could do to not shudder in disgust. Using every ounce of his legendary control, he blocked off his senses and walked up to the front desk.
The receptionist looked up, startled by the man’s unkempt attire, kindly asked, “Are you here to make a donation, Sir?”
Sesshomaru did not deign to answer the idiotic woman. Why else would he be here?
The woman mistook his silence for embarrassment and walked around the desk to lead him to a room.
“Now, sir, you will be required to leave four samples for testing and fill out an information sheet about yourself. You will be paid thirty-five dollars for each sample you leave today and if you pass the screening tests, you will be offered a two hundred dollar weekly minimum with a six month contract. Is that agreeable?”
The daiyoukai nodded his head, already making plans for the money. He was unconcerned about these “tests” the ningen was talking about. He was perfection personified, his beauty and intelligence unsurpassed. There was no possible way for him to fail.
The woman directed him into a room and handed him a several papers and pen. “Now, we need you to fill out the information sheet, as well as sign the disclosure agreements stating you are of age and will not have any claim to any possible children that may be produced from your sperm.”
The daiyoukai stilled, his inner beast thrashing in its cage at the thought of not being able to claim any pups. His logical side won out in the end, right now there just wasn’t any other way to feed his people. With a disheartened sigh, Sesshomaru nodded his head and signed the disclosures.
The woman smiled kindly, “Now, is there any materials that you need to help you in giving a sample? Magazines or a movie, perhaps?”
Sesshomaru’s eyes widened and hastily shook his head. The woman smiled again and took her leave.
The Inu stared at the information sheet, before picking it up with a sigh.
Height? 6’5. Hair color? Silver. Eye color? Gold. Skin tone? Fair. Body physique? Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow and answered… sculpted. Disfigurements? Not any longer.
Sesshomaru diligently answered the rest of the info sheet. Settling back into the chair, he let his mind wonder in hopes of getting aroused. He was unsurprised when the face of the Shikon Miko flashed before his eyes. She had been an intriguing little onna with her intelligence and powers. She was quite useful in the hunt for Naraku, not to mention her big blue eyes, tight body, and long legs. She was rather beautiful for a ningen he surmised, but none of that compared to her scent, honeysuckle and forest with her power adding a hint of a thunderstorm. Untainted and pure, he could not help but be drawn to it, or the raw power that was barely contained within her. Many, many a time the miko had been a participant in his nocturnal fantasies.
Sesshomaru removed himself from his slacks and began to stroke his flaccid cock slowly. In his mind he saw the fiery miko succumb to his charms on her back, her side, on her hands and knees with her delectable ass high in the air. He imagined himself pounding into her tight core, he could hear her moans and screams of pleasure, smell her natural scent become heavier, muskier. It was a scent that he would revel in in just a few more years, once she returned to the present. He would not deny himself again.
Knowing his end was near, he grabbed the sample cups and with a snarl he came, his seed filling up all four cups. After cleaning himself up, he could not help the swell of masculine pride at the proof of his virility, his potency.
As he walked towards the exit, he noted that there was a new woman behind the desk; and for a moment, he thought that he could smell honeysuckles and forest. Shaking his head, he dismissed her, never noticing her stiffening back.
Before he could exit the building, he felt small fingers grasp his wrist. Whirling around, Sesshomaru found himself staring into the blue eyes of the woman he had been fantasizing about. To stunned to speak, his eyes widened comically as he took in the now mature body of the miko known as Kagome. He watched her eyes go wide with shock, and her porcelain skin go rosy with a blush.
“Sess-Sesshomaru-sama...” the miko stuttered.
He raised an eyebrow at her attempts to speak. She continued to look at him, her face becoming an unhealthy shade of red and her scent laced with embarrassment.
He was shocked when she hid her face from his view, something she had never done before, that he almost missed her next words.
“Thank you for coming!” She squeaked, practically running back to her desk.
Mortified, Sesshomaru left never to return.
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Alcohol was involved in the making of this fanfic. That being said, hopefully you get the pun I was trying to make. PLease review!