AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is for Stella Mira's Wanna Bet Challenge!
Word Count: 1,500
Prompt: All-in
Does he truly love me? Or am I just being played again?
Kagome was on the phone with the man she desperately loved, his deep, husky voice—as always—affecting her, arousing her even as he disappointed her with the things he said.
“I know I promised to get off early and come over to share dinner with you, but I’m unable to get away from work right now. Not for many hours actually, so I won’t be able to visit tonight. I’m sorry, Kagome.”
Clenching her hand around her cellphone, she forced her voice to remain light and unconcerned even while her heart panged painfully in her chest. “Don’t worry about it, Sesshomaru. I know you’re very busy learning how to take over your father’s company. You know I’d never get upset over something so important.”
More important than spending time with me.
Voice think with both relief and guilt, he said, “I know you don’t, but I’m truly sorry about this. I’ll make it up to you, love. Rain check?”
“Of course,” she all but choked after he gave her his deceitful endearment that implied so much but somehow meant nothing at all. “Don’t overwork yourself, you hear? Even big executives like yourself need to reboot some time.”
His amused chuckle filtered through her cell, doing wicked things to her nerves.
“I’ll try not to. And don’t stay up too late. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Sesshomaru,” she whispered.
Click.
He hung up on her.
As she lowered her cell from her ear, she turned her head to gaze at her small dining room table with its pretty, white table cloth, her best china dishes at two place settings, Italian pasta bowl in the center next to a chilled bottle of red wine, and the two lit candles to give it a romantic theme.
Walking over to the table, she leaned over and blew out the candles with a heavy heart.
Another broken promise.
Too many to count.
Ignoring the uneaten meal, her own appetite lost, Kagome grabbed the bottle of wine; forgoing the wine glass, she went into her living room and sank onto her sofa, curling against the arm rest.
Lifting the bottle to her lips, she took a swallow of the potent yet fruity brew while her memories surfaced. She had known Sesshomaru for seven years now, an unlikely friendship formed while they had attended the same private school. She had been fifteen, Sesshomaru seventeen. She came from a minimum wage family, he a multibillion dollar company his father owned and was head of. Those first three years of their friendship consisted of her giving her all, compromising, and being understanding while Sesshomaru learned to one day take over his father’s company.
Who was she to complain, ask for anything, to cling to a man who had so many responsibilities resting on his broad shoulders? At first, she didn’t mind, was grateful that he was in her life, her friend. However, all that changed while she was in college, working towards her nursing degree when Sesshomaru’s attitude towards her shifted, became closer, more intimate.
He would never make any promises, but he had started calling her ‘love’, looking at her with passion filled eyes, and utter sweet words of love and togetherness. He didn’t kiss her at first, never touched her intimately, but after a year of this strange new closeness that had her heart thumping painfully in her chest, made her realize how much she loved him, their relationship changed again.
His touch would linger. He’d hug her too close, molding her body to his powerful frame. Heated whispers against her ear. Then, finally, their first kiss two years ago.
Even though he didn’t speak of the future, she knew, felt that he cared just as deeply for her as she did for him. But then, out of nowhere, her fantasies of a future with him shattered.
Taking a deeper drink from her bottle of wine, she remembered so clearly—a handful of months after their first kiss—how he had become distant, closed off from her. He had ignored her calls, her texts, forgone meeting up with her to spend time together. Not only that, but he had stopped calling her ‘love’, had stopped saying anything intimate, let alone touching or kissing her.
For three whole months, he was like a ghost, barely there, and she didn’t know why. She had been in an agony of despair, constantly asking herself—asking him—why? An answer was never given, and she had been too afraid to really push for those answers, fearing he would disappear altogether.
Soon he started insinuating, telling her she should find a man to please her, to sleep with since she was twenty and still a virgin. He said nothing of being this man, had all but pushed her into the arms of another—Koga—until finally, hurt by Sesshomaru’s callous treatment of her and feeling less than a woman in his eyes, she’d gone to Koga’s apartment.
However, instead of being the considerate lover he portrayed himself to be, Koga had her flat on her back, and breached her maidenhead with an inconsiderate thrust. The coupling was over before it had begun, but by then, Kagome already felt like a cheap whore.
Regret settled in.
In her desperate need to feel wanted, desired, she had cheapened herself because of heartbreak.
She never saw Koga again.
She remembered crying to Sesshomaru, but instead of comforting her, he’d admitted that he, too, had taken a lover. To Kagome’s disbelieving ears, he told her about ‘the bitch’ who had strung him along, cheated on him multiple times, and treated him like dirt.
Finally, Kagome understood why he had been ignoring her and pushing her into another guy’s arms. It was so he wouldn’t feel guilty of being with another.
Betrayal.
The pain in her chest had been immeasurable, but she had been too numb to act, to rile and scream. It was because of Sesshomaru’s callous actions that another man had been her first, when all she had wanted was him. For the first time, her eyes were opened to the real man who stood before her. She remembered every lie, every broken promise—and there were many.
She had always forgiven him, thought she had understood because of the pressure put on him to take over for his father one day. Hell, his parents didn’t even know about her! Sesshomaru had always told her they wouldn’t approve because her station was far beneath their own, but that it hadn’t mattered to him. That he loved her.
Did he ever truly love me? Have I meant nothing at all to him this whole time?
He’d strung her along, there was no getting around that awful, painful truth.
Later, when she was alone in her apartment, she didn’t cry, still too numb, but the worst was just beginning.
That night, he called her. He was obviously drunk by his slurred words—which had surprised her as she had never known him to drink to this extent—and begun judging her, blaming her for what had happened with Koga. Sesshomaru said he was supposed to have been the one to take her virginity, that now that another man had been inside her, she was used goods. He’d demanded how she could have betrayed him like that? Cheated on him? On and on it went, each word like a knife to her heart, and tears fell unheeded down her cheeks.
The next morning, he had apologized, but Kagome had detected no true remorse for saying those dreadful things to her, only that he had become emotional. It was all about him—never her.
However, despite everything, she still loved him if bitterly. She should hate him. She did.
Now, two years later, he was treating her as he had when she was nineteen. Again with the lingering touches, the heated kisses, and saying all the right things. He had been at it for little over a year now, and she couldn’t help but soak up his attention like a sponge, but still he did not make love to her, no matter how often he claimed to desperately want to.
She was too good for him, he claimed. He felt unworthy, didn’t want to ruin things between them.
He didn’t seem to realize it already was.
Yet still she hoped, her love for him not yet fully corrupted by hatred.
Getting up from her sofa, she put away the uneaten remains of dinner, before dressing for bed.
The next morning, Sesshomaru called.
Giddy as always to hear from him, she answered happily, “Good morning, Sesshomaru.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line before he said, “Kagome, we need to talk. I met someone. I want you to meet her.”
And like that, all her hopes were finally dashed, her heart shattered beyond repair.
Love could so easily turn to hate.