Very nice beginning to a intriguing story that is nicely executed. You have very good writing skills. This is very good for a first FF, in my opinion.
According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, sub-conscience is spelled subconscious and en-suite is a playable 'Scrabble' word that is spelled without ensuite. Both words are not hyphenated.
Kagome always seem to find her way into some sticky situations. I hope her Inuyasha are not married or have any kids or God forbid she does not get pregnant by him. Now her getting pregnant by Sessho...hmmm, that's okay. LOL
Looking forward to the next chapter. Great job!!!
Keep it going.
Natalia (Chapter 1) - Mon 06 Nov 2017
I remember that my first fanfictions were in first person too! Lol!
It was good! I felt sad for kagome! No one deserves that!
Curious for more!
Good luck!
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