Word of advice from another writer, re-read your work before posting to be sure of the grammar and spelling. Or use any kind of applications or program to help with either. The story is pleasant although a little rushed here and there, but it is intriguing nonetheless. I would suggest more events that show the depth of the bond between Kagome and Takashi because there is where I feel the most rushed. This story is good but it feel to me more like rushed draft than polished work. As a writer, I feel that it insults the very core of the story to simply post without at least re-reading and polishing the story. I am not belittling your work, but I feel improvement could be used in this fields.
As for the story, it is intriguing and fun. I am looking ahead for better presentation of the story in the foreseeable future. Do not let my honest criticism put you down, take it as it is; an honest advice from another writer.
Also, I would really like that people would stop making it seem as though Sesshoumaru have split personality disorder between him and his baser instinct. It is naturally your creative license to do as you pleased with your story but the more I read about this sort of interaction between him and "his beast", the more I feel like 'tsukkomi' Sesshoumaru to get a psychiatrist.
Again, this is just my honest opinion. And please use Daiyoukai as opposed to Taiyoukai since the former mean Great Demon and the latter mean Demon Fish. There is several essays by older members of the site regarding the matter and it is pet peeves for Dokuga lovers. This include the "the beast" matter. Again, creative license but I always believed that a long and honest review sparks motivation and imagination better than a simple "great story" or "next chapter please" kind of review.
I really enjoyed how well written this chapter is, and the basic truths you included. Good job, I really do look forward to the next chapter.
Awe I love how Takashi is so protective of kagome :) mama’s boy <3 hopefully Sesshomar stops being a butt; is inuyasha going to return?
You might want to go back over this chapter there is several misspelled words and some words that dont make any sense at all but I do like the progression.
Great story
Wow. I would never imagined that Takashi would challenge his father Sesshomaru. I cannot wait until they come back to the west. Kagome did raise her son quite well with respect and honor.
Loved this chapter! It gave me everything I was hoping for! Can’t wait for more tension between them!
I love the update! I don't think sesshomaru was to ooc because I think he would've mourned that way, in private like an inu. The reunion was done right with some shock and anger. How will sesshomaru's mother feel about all this and her grandpup having a human for a mother? Although she can't say much because his birth mother tried to kill him and betrayed sesshomaru as well. Kagome has done neither of those things and saved takashi plus she raised him. What will Inuyasha do when he returns? In what ways will sesshomaru find out just how deep of a bond mother and son have?
Update soon onegai
Ja ne
I loved this chapter! Something tells me though, that sesshomaru and his son aren't going to be seeing eye to eye for a while. I can't wait to see what happens next!
Mona (Chapter 4) - Wed 14 Mar 2018
Hope to read more soon
Wow! So now sesshomaru's thinking of going to war but his mother is against the idea. Will he go to war when he comes upon takashi and the inutachi? What will he do when he senses the bond between the two? The bond is strong and can't be undone now unless he kills kagome. Will they be able to stand up to sesshomaru now that Inuyasha is hurt from holy energy? It seems takashi doesn't remember sesshomaru, is it because he was too young to remember him?
Update soon onegai
Ja ne
Will sesshomaru recognize his child? i can’t wait until they fina reunite!!
Wow this is great!
Awesome 2 chapter update! Can’t wait for Sessh to find them and join the fold!
Yes an amazing cliffhanger!! I enjoy this story so much and now shassy will find his son a!I've I can't wait please update soon
I can’t wait to read more!!! Thanks for the update!!;)
Nilee1 (Chapter 3) - Tue 13 Mar 2018
I love this story!!!!!
Myella (Chapter 3) - Tue 13 Mar 2018
Yay! Another update. Excellent.
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