Interesting idea, don't think I have seen it used before in Inuyasha fan fiction. I'd watch the lenght of some of your paragraphs, such as the first one, big paragraphs like that can be hard to read on a computer screen. Moves a bit fast and some of the explaining, such as the beginning of the first chapter doesn't flow right. But interesting story idea none the less. :)
Nobody (Chapter 1) - Mon 02 Feb 2009
THis was cute it reminded me on ferngully, it moved kind of fast at times, you might want to add a little more explanation as to how and why. Also some of the diolauge was confusing but a beta could help you eith that. Other than that great idea its very interesting.
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