What an awesome beginning.  Your writing is beautiful, very descriptive and flows wonderfully.  I initially thought the girl, maid was Kagome. So far, to me, this story reminds me a lot of Camelot, with Sesshoumaru as Lancelot and Kagome as Guinevere.  I don't know if that is your intention or not but regardless it is very well written and I think you should continue it.

Interesting twist having an OC act as the narrator and perspective for the story. It was beautifully written and well detailed, and I loved the almost renaissance time period that it felt like it belonged in. I hope there is more to this tale...it's definitely a good read.

Interesting beginning.  A few typos here and there, but nothing really major.  It's interesting to see someone besides Kagome, or perhaps Rin, being the one pinning for him when another woman arrives and would love to see where you take this.  I hope you continue this story :).

I thought this was very well written. I actually liked the way it was told from an outsiders perspective. However chapter stories need to be at lest 700 words per chapter according to the sites rules, and yours at the moment doesn't qualify. I really want to see where you go with this as it was exceptionally written, so I hope you continue with this soon:D

Oh, I like this very much. I think it is very well written. Poor Naomi. I hope you add to this one really soon. Great job. I love stories like this that are from different perspectives, and I think a collection where they are all like that would be awesome. Kudos!