I like it overall. You used divulged a few times in chapter 4 & it makes no sense, divulged means to make known (something private or secret). or to proclaim publicly, bring (information) out of concealment & nobody is doing that in either instance you used it. Immersed MAY be a better word choice, it means engrossed or absorbed (completely immersed in his work). Hope this helps.
haha, I love this! (uno problemo: the text was way too large in that last chapter)
Oh good lord you just about killed me! man this chapter was funny!espcially the end.
"Take Rin to WacDonald's. XD
Lilli (Chapter 2) - Wed 11 Mar 2009
HAHAHA This is amazing!
It's such an original idea!!!
I can't wait to see how this plot is going to unfold (:
Please update soon!
WOW Sess is lucky to have a good job for someone that had a kid at the age of 16... and now to be a single parent...
What about college?
Saholia (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009
This is very well written--I'm really enjoying your story! Can't help but want to guess what's gonna happen next! lol
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