Hey I loved the First chappie, A few key points I would say about it, is that Souta was far to formal to be Kags younger brother she sounded less formal unless that's how you want it, I just thought he sounded way too adult like. There are simple typos and grammar mistakes but easily corrected once you read it over again or have a Beta. But Other than that the plot is amazing and I can't wait for more.
Thanks,
Arry
NO FAIR :(
You should have conflict = Koga, may be Naruku
Drama= Sesshoumaru and Inuyashas dad if you chose to have him a live or even make them brothers and that could also be the pressure point his father wanting grandchildren
LEMON LOTS AND LOTS OF LEMONS ENOUGH TO MAKE A PIE!!!
ahhh finally a sequel! :DDD
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