It's pretty good 

Awesome story! I liked the descriptions and details of each and every scene. However, I feel like the romance between sesshomaru and kagome  should have been developed more.  Sesshomaru suddenly kissing her took me by surprise.

Yeppers that was quite the challenge. Keep up the good work.

good fiction. interesting to read.

A very nice and laid back story... enjoyed the journey and thanks for the sharing!

Wispr

Love how Kagome reacting to him begging for his life!

Wispr

Good writing of the battle scene... yes they called her older sister... ;)

Wispr

I like how you got everything coming to a head... like also the hide-a-way for the little ones. Nice touch.

Wispr

Really good chapter, very curious why the Kurohyou youkai are attacking the Lords camp!

Wispr

You really got the characters well written, their reacting to the current situation very believable.

Love the growling scene!

Wispr

Like how you are writing the interplay between Kagome and Sesshoumaru.

Wispr

Love how you did the scene between Kagome and Tadashii... bloody cool work.

Wispr

ANother great chapter, I really like the more mature Kagome you got here.

Wispr

Good work on how you got people interacting with one another. Again love how you got Kagome and Shippo acting towards each other. Also the little bet between Sesshoumaru and Kagome is bloody good. One thing though is your numbered foot notes kind of disrupts the reading flow, just putting a Authors Note at the end of the chapter I think would work just has good.

Off to work will return to this story later!

Wispr

Interesting start... love the mother/son relationship between Kagome and Shippo. Great work on how you wrote the kit taking care of his mother and also good work with the Rin and Jaken scene.

Wispr

Hi,

I'd just like to help you out with a quick correction for some of your internet-found Japanese I read in one of your stories.  I'll admit I'm not a native Japanese speaker, but I did live in Japan for several years and to my knowledge was considered quite fluent in the spoken language. 

For future information:

Omaesan = misuse of a combination of "omae" (you) and "san" (similar to the english use of mr, ms, miss, mrs, etc.)  To elaborate, "Omae" is *usually* said in a gruff manner and is generally considered a word used by males and is *generally* also considered to be rude.  The use of "san", on the other hand, is a polite way of addressing a person.   I have never in my life heard the two used in conjunction, it'd be like saying "Mr. You!" in English.

Minikui is not incorrect in the literal translation, but honestly it's just not a word I've ever heard spoken or actually used for any reason.  My guess is that it's either outdated or that it perhaps doesn't hold the same context as it's literal translation.  In either case, I'd advise using a different source to look up adjectives in the future.

Several other Japanese words you've inserted into your work are similar in that literally, they aren't entirely wrong - though they are gramatticaly correct or just completely inaccurate if you actually understand the language - but the dictionary translation isn't "wrong".  I'd be happy to help you out in the future with different translations, but as a courtesy to people who don't speak a lick of Japanese and are likely to copy and reuse words from you in the future, I'd just appreciate it if you'd do a little further research before inserting a language which you are obviously unfamiliar with into your stories.

Thanks, and keep up the otherwise good work.

I really like how quickly this story went. Sometimes, you don't want a one-shot and don't want an epic tale. You need something like this to fill a few evening with some good reading entertainment.

For your next story, some separators between changes of scenary will help cut down on confusion.

I really like how Sessy and Kags to stay in character. You did a good job of maintaining that even when they were acting out of character. Did that make sense? LOL Anyway, I really enjoyed this.