You are an incredible story weaver. I'm glad you decided to leave your completed stories up for us to enjoy so many years later :)
I guess I'm a little late in reading and reviewing this story Since you finished like 5 years ago..
Well, as for the story I really like the plot, it's interesting and very original, however, the writing is very bad.
I'm honestly not sure if I'll be able to get over all the grammar and spelling mistakes to finish reading the story.
I desperately hope that your writing has gotten better in the last few years or you've gotten a beta for your stories.
Good grammar, sentence structures, and consistent tenses can really bring a story alive and be the difference
between a good, bad, and great story.
My, so many misspelt words. And wow if the Inu already had their suspicions of Kikyo then its obvious they would not persecute Kagome. And there is no way Sesshomaru would let this happen even if he heard rumors of her and Yasha. Sesshomaru is above that. It feels like the whole punishment part of the story is rather hard to believe. I know what you were trying to accomplish but maybe you should have gone about it another way. however I would be a liar if I said that this story was not good and intriguing. it is very nice a bit far fetched but very good. now the slavery part, and events sound much more believable
Ok, so this is a really good story and I wish it was longer. But there are so many mistakes. Like sometimes you want to say one thing but you use a different word. For example consider instead of concern. Or you use the wrong form of a word, like angrier instead of anger. And then sometimes you change the tense in the same sentence. It's enough to be annoying when I read it. All this story needs is a good revision to fix all the mistakes and then it will be perfect.
Amy (Chapter 6) - Thu 22 Jul 2010
I HAVE NO WORDS ! BREATHTAKING!
Megan Tee (Chapter 6) - Fri 24 Jul 2009
| That was a beautiful story. From the very first paragraph i was hooked. My heart ached as I felt for Sesshomaru as Kagome walked away from him. It was very beautiful, and i hope you continue writing because you are a wonderful author.
Anamika (Chapter 6) - Mon 01 Dec 2008
| Wonderfully written, neither short not too lengthy. I liked reading it. Really! The plot was simple yet potrayed very nicely. Nice job done. And when you mentioned that he smiled, and opened his arms for her, I guess all of us in reality and in the fic might have fainted. I mean literally. All together good story.
Akumi (Chapter 6) - Wed 10 Sep 2008
| This story was simply wonderful. At the beginning, I admit, I was doubtful of how it would be. I have been searching for a well written sesshoumaru and Kagome story for a while now, with no luck. There were grammar mistakes and a few spelling errors, but that is to be expected. Also, I was worried about the charater of Sesshoumaru, but that wasn't needed. You are one of the best AU Universe writers I have stumbled across yet, and I am very picky. The characters were wonderfully done, and the story was believable. It flowed really well, and kept me enchanted through out it all. Short and sweet, but nothing more was left to want. I look forward to reading more of your works. Amazing job. I hope you never stop writing. Never waste your talent. - Akumi ^.^
| this is sooo good i love it
Athemea (Chapter 6) - Fri 06 Jun 2008
| I really enjoyed reading your story. The way it was written brought my in there, to be in the mind of the characters. That experience is what makes your writing above the rest. A great read.
All the best,
Athemea
Dulce (Chapter 1) - Wed 28 May 2008
| I really love your story. I read it on A Single Spark and I'm glad you're posting it on this site also :)
Can't wait for the sequel
Jill Dozer (Chapter 4) - Tue 27 May 2008
| I just love your story,what else can I say?
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