I've read two of your stories, and both stayed with me for days! I loved A Forgotten Love a lot... It made me cry. Keep writing!
Hello Mizuko! I read your story 'Hopless' and it has definitely started out well, and I will be keeping an eye on it for sure ;). I wasn't sure if you were looking for a critique, or an opinion, but I will say that you did everything right. You have added some intrigue to make a reader want to discover what is going on, and you personalized your characters as much as you can for a first chapter. Just keep it going. The only thing that was a bit distracting was the lyrics in between. The song DEFINITELY fit the chapter though. It's mostly just a personal preference to not have lyrics in stories. Anyhow, I hope this helped :)
|