Thoughts and the story are a bit scattered, but otherwise enjoyable to read. I hope you update soon, and let me know with a PM. You have the makings of a good story, no need to rush. :)
ashley (Chapter 4) - Tue 07 Sep 2010
I like the concept but you didn't execute it very well. It's a little all over the place. To start off you have at least two main plots. Her failed marriage and her fight with Naraku. Then you randomly throw in her occupation to make up for the fact that she has an unrealistic means to avoid him. It just doesn't make sense. One minute she's this cold assasin and the next she's a sobbing over emotional female. And it's just not realistic. No woman in her right mind would be with a man that has that much control. Bugged cars, cameras every where, and tracking devices? Does that sound like someone who is normal?
You should throw out that Naraku plot and work on the original one which is the failing marriage. She is pregnant and she just witnessed her husband in bed with another woman. She would have gone to a family member or friend first, instead of dodging him and doing some random secret agent shit. She is not James Bond. Then while she's sobbing she's asking for them to create custody papers within an hour. Custody battles don't work like that and if he is a CEO then that isn't within his power. Clean up your word choices.."Inu Papi"??? she isn't a five year old. And that continues, one minite she talks like she is in an action movie and the next she's an adult five year old.
Furthemore, change her job title cause it's just plain stupid. A pregnant female body guard that can take apart and build cars and bikes? She has property on numerous countries without her controlling husband finding out? Come on! I know this is fiction, but lets not get carried away. Finally, take out the descriptions of what cars and bikes they have. It's irrelevant and stupid.
It' getting interesting ;]
Although If it were a "inukag" fic, it would make sense. (even though im not much of a fan of those)
but this is a sesskag site... So update soon! I want to know what happens and how things turn out ;]
Great writing btw!
kat (Chapter 4) - Sun 05 Sep 2010
wooo me wuvs you :D *gives author lots of cookies and candy n reviews or whatever else wanted* cant wait for moreand more (blame the sugar rush though my reviews suck i know theyre reviews though:D)
kat (Chapter 1) - Sun 05 Sep 2010
o.o ME WANT MORE *kidnaps author n ties her to a comfy chair in front of a computer with just enough room to type* :D yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ill pay you in candy and cookies and reviews (lol)
I like this story so far. But I cant believe that you had Sesshoumaru cheat on Kagome. That was horrible. Update soon I ould like to know what happens next. Thanks.
Oh Please (Chapter 1) - Wed 18 Aug 2010
Enjoy this story so far. It's a bit different from the norm.
Isn't it funny how they always say, "It's not what it looks like." Really? What else could it possibly be?!?! Um, it looks like infidelity.
Love how she launches him away from her.
Hope you delve into how they met and such.
Keep up the good work.
I liked chapter 2. It did not have the drama of the first chapter, but seemed very cohesive and answered some of the questions I had. It will be interesting to find out if Sesshomaru's father goes along with Kagome's plan not to tell Sesshomaru she is expecting.
good start
julie (Chapter 1) - Tue 17 Aug 2010
i love the way the story is going. great start on things and REALLY cant wait to see more from you
PLEASE UPDATE SOON :)
no pressure haha
I would love to know Inuyasha's reaction when he finds out about cheating on him with Sesshomaru. Will all hell break loose? Will he end up firing the little whore? What's worse; will Kikyo herself end up pregnant by Sesshomaru? Oh, the possibilities. This is a very good beginning to this story. Can't wait for more.
Please, write more. I'm interested to find out WHY Sesshomaru and Kikyo were going at it. I love stories where Sess and Kagome are married and he cheats on her... Hoping for lots of angst here.
fatcatmom (Chapter 1) - Tue 17 Aug 2010
Good start! Please update. I would love to hear his explanation for this one...
the summary is good
I want to see how the story goes
ooh I'm loving the story all ready!! ^_^ please do not stop writing if you do I'll get sesshy to work his magic on you! *grins evilly* >:D
denise (Chapter 1) - Tue 17 Aug 2010
| Summary sounds interesting, but the chapter was not attached...
Jill Dozer (Chapter 1) - Tue 17 Aug 2010
Where's the story? All I get is the title and that's all.
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