wow i super love this story i cant get enough...ow my computer just hit me...anyways keep up the great work i hope to read more soon ^_^
First off let me say, I'm very impressed that this is your first FF. You really care about what you write, and it shows. I think this story has a lot of potential to become a really good read.
Now for a little constructive advice. At some points in the story I feel like your thoughts are rushed, which makes the plot feel incomplete. For example you only briefly mention that Sesshomaru feels there is something familur about Kagome. Then by the end of the chapter he wants her to have his heir. They go from not knowing one another, and not really liking one another to him wanting to have an heir with her, and the reader is left to assume that it perhaps has something to do with that sense of familiarity - however there is no clarity given. One would think Sesshomaru would have an heir only with someone worthy, but until the point where he makes his demands of winning the competition, we assume that he is as you describe him. As being uninterrested, and finding human women much weaker than what would make her worthy of him. It would be nice as the reader to get a little more insight in to these things. I think its an easy fix that you can work on as your progress as I writer. I WOULD NOT suggest going and changing your story. Leave it as you meant it to be - but I just wanted to offer some help to a fellow writer who (like me) is just starting out.
When I first started (and even still) I appreciate when people can give me little tips and hints to improve. I hope you take it that way and dont feel like this is a flame because its NOT! I really enjoy reading this story, and will be faving it to read more, as you update! Keep it up!
I thought the fight scenes were very well done. All good fight scenes don't have to be long and drawn out. No complaints from me.
wonderful update! though i really hope that kagome and Sess do actually marry or mate! it'd be sad if she never got to see her kid ever.
It was very evil! I was reading last night from my cell phone... and I had to come somewhere with my computer to review! Meanie! :) But I liked it very much :) Hope you update soon! I like Sessh's prize...but also the interaction with other characters. I think they are quite similar to the serie, so I like it.
Kitty (Chapter 2) - Mon 06 Sep 2010
It was very mean of you to leave it like that. I was crying afterward because I wanted more. I want to know what is going to happen next so badly, so PLEASE update ASAP. PLEASE
sprinks (Chapter 2) - Mon 06 Sep 2010
I'm loving this story! Deff keep going :D I'm glad you didn't make the fights this chapter, you don't want the story to go too fast :) Draw you readers out!
That's what we love to hate the most ^.^
Can't wait to see who wins :D :D
oh my! @_@ Sess has his hopes up huh!
kat (Chapter 1) - Thu 02 Sep 2010
lol i love it so far but i cant help bit wonder are the girls gonna win or a tie?! haha or is sango gonna go bashin keep it up cant wait for the next chap :D
Kitty (Chapter 1) - Wed 01 Sep 2010
I can't wait to read more. I sounds like it is going to be really good. I hope Sesshoumaru gets his a** kicked.
I love it!!
Update soon!
I really want to know what happens!
i like this, it seems fun.More please.
I truely love this story from just one chapter. :D
Oooh. This is interesting so far. I'm excited to see how the duels turn out. ^_^
Hello! I'm definitely liking this story so far :) I look forward to seeing more of the characters' personalities aND how they work throughout the story. And Inuyasha certainly would say those things. -.-
Anyway, please do update soon! Sounds like you have a good plot to work with here.
*gives you cupcakes*
~Siki
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