Your story is very ineteresting. However, there are many grammatical mistakes, including misspelled words and punctuation.
You may want to work on your puntuation (commas, periods, etc), becuase it will help you with run-on sentences.
Regardless, your story was really interesting, and I look forward to your update. I know that this fanfiction is NOT an english paper, but I think for the readers, it'll be much easier if you worked on your grammar a bit. (It's not major...)
If you could improve on that, I believe there will be confluence/flow in your writing.
Good job on your first fanfic! I truly enjoyed reading the heart-wrenching scene of Kagome being a single, young mother.
=)
natalie19 (Chapter 1) - Tue 01 Mar 2011
please continue this very good (I can not correct the spelling, but the wording is good)
Fluffy (Chapter 1) - Wed 16 Feb 2011
i like it its good cant wait for the next chapter
rose (Chapter 1) - Wed 16 Feb 2011
i love this story so far i cant wait for the next chaper
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