Wow that was great. You had fooled for a moment, I thought he was going to go for Kagura. I really like how Kagome got him. Great job!

I really liked this and I give you huge props for writing it in poem form (I can't to save my life).

My only comment would be that it all seems to run together and suggest maybe breaking up the stanzas (I think that's what they're called)?

Otherwise, beautifully done.