I like where this is going. Was it too late to save rin with his sword? Thats a shame I love it when rin and kagome are togearher against sesshys own judgement lol I hope you will write another chapter soon!!
hmmm gunna be honest here, i dont know if the big wall of text was a loading error but if not, that seriosuly needs a lot of spacing.
Also, this would be an awesome dark erotic drama if this was fleshed out a bit more. there's potiencial here but it's not developped enough i think to get there. it's a good fic and i like it, but you could make it more.
and last, a beta. there are some oversites on spellings, missing letters, that look like you didnt take the time to use a basic spell check. MSword offers one as does dokuga. depending on your internet providor them may as well. i think you could clean this fic up, flesh it out some and have a fic that could contend for an award.
amy (Chapter 1) - Fri 25 Mar 2011
OUCH, LOVE THE HARD WAY , HUH? INTERESTING CONCEPT, REPLACE A LIFE DOR A LIFE , PERFECT , THEY CZN BOTH BE HAPPY NOW!
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