Awwww!!!

I loved it!!!

I wish someone would call me a little fool!

I want my own Sesshomaru!

Goodness.

I LOVE THIS STORY!

That was too adorable!

Especially when she told him she was leaving. 

How come her parents didn't see it?
Or her sister?

Nice story by the way!

Very sweet! Good Job!

Your descriptions are rather 'wordy', in the sense you use vocabulary that most writers forget exist. That's a compliment, and a reminder to myself to branch out a little more. I love the way the story is woven, the way it is sort of sandwiched together with how it starts and how it ends. The first paragraph of the second little 'section' feels almost a little too descriptive, it kind of hits the reader all at once, although it is very well written.

I love the flow, the way all the events tie together and draw the reader in to this story - although I have to admit I got the twins mixed up now and then, I believe it had something to do with the sentence structure. You have a beautiful way of drawing the reader in to your words and bringing them close to the character, making it easy to sympathize. I do not, however, feel her jealousy of her sister - it all seems very sudden. She's aware her sister is more beautiful than her, in a way, but that true realization doesn't seem to hit till the wedding, which lessens the impact just a bit. 

There were certainly some amusing moments. Her realization that the hair she was mutilating wasn't her sisters made me laugh out loud, although I'm not sure if that was your intention or not. The only major thing I noticed is that Sesshoumaru seems to jump from third person speaking to first person - is that how he talks, or is that an error? If he does that intentionally, I'd be sure to mention it. 

awww this is so cute! I just love the way you ended it. It was so adorable.

This was simply amazing, and I love it. What a fantastic peice! 

A truly unique and charming story.  I enjoyed reading it very much.

Sweetheart, this is PERFECT!!!  And JUST what I needed after the day I've had, let me tell you!  I couldn't decide whether to sigh, laugh, or cry at the end, so I settled on sighing, getting a little teary, and grinning.  Such a beautiful story, and so very well done... thank you for all your hard work!

:D

~~Wiccan~~

Awww! I love the extra section you added at the end. Hope you're happy with it now because its definitely more than divine.

Awww! I love the extra section you added at the end. Hope you're happy with it now because its definitely more than divine.

Awww Naq, that was amazing! I absolutely loved this. Excellent work!

NAQ! NAQ! NAQ! I wanna squish you with love! I love it! It is SO cute! I'm going to take it home with me and love it, and hug it, and print it out and put it up on my wall. That's right. >_> And you can't stop me.

Very cute oneshot. I loved it! Will you do a followup?

Woah, I really, really, really liked that. It was freaking beautiful. Gosh, you didn't shy away from the reality of it all, either. It was so painful, so sad, yet so, so, so gorgeous. Thank you for writing!

I can't begin to tell you how much I utterly adored this story. I began to read initially not knowing what to expect and as your words drew me in, as you painted your pretty fantasy for me, my eyes literally flew across the screen almost stumbling in haste to feast on the next wonderful sentence.

This story so engaged me! I love the ebb and flow of your elegant phrasing, the unique word here and there just adding that little something to make your style of writing stand right out of the ordinary. There was a real narrative to it, a real sense of "story-telling" in that I literally couldn't wait to see what would befall Kagome next.

I felt for her, the pathos you created about her made me wince with little painful pangs for her as she lost ground again and again against her vision of her sister being better than she. I very much liked your portrayal of Sesshoumaru also. You kept him delightfully formal and yet there was that certain something there that was different; a little almost hidden streak of something that turned out to be love.

When I read the penultimate line...

“With eyes that love you, you little fool. With eyes that simply adore you.”

I literally hugged myself with the deliciousness of it all. I couldn't have been more overwhelmed with a combination of pure delight and wanting to squeal with happiness like some 12 year old that has just discovered the beauty of romance. And believe me it is an aeon since I was 12!

Thank you so much for writing something so beautiful, I loved every last word. Happy sighs from me.

OMGOMGOMG!! I feel like I need to jump up and do a happy dance at how freaking CUTE this story is!!! Naq, my queen, I simply adore it! Seriosly, I love it! I'm repeating myself so I'll shut up, but still. XOXOXOXO 

Another blissfull moment this morning! I am happy to have read this wonderful story.