The Heart of the West by Reverent Moonlight

The Loss of a Father

Sesshomaru looked at his mother, her smiling face eye level with his from where she knelt before him. He listened with devoted attention to what she was saying. 

Mother's lessons were important. She wanted him to be a great and honorable ruler, and to do that, one had to learn from those who were older and wiser, even if the lesson made him want to gag. 

"Sesshomaru, you must pay attention. You will need to know these things if you wish to find your mate."

His little nose wrinkled. 

Females were dull. The only things they liked talking about were kimono's and what male they hoped to mate when they grew older. 

His mother's soft giggle reached his ears as though she knew what he was thinking, causing him to narrow his eyes. 

"Don't give me that look, pup. Do a better job of hiding your emotions, and you will not have to worry about others knowing what you are thinking," she said, waving a hand unbothered by the pup's determination to be as aloof as she and his father were in front of the court. 

"I do not wish to meddle with females. They are an annoyance."

She smiled knowingly, his little face drawn up in irritation.

"You shall change your mind one day. Perhaps in a century or two, hm?"

He shook his head in childish determination, causing her to laugh outright.

"Well, then simply take the knowledge in the event you have to impart it to another."

She waited, watching as his mind mulled over her proposition. When his eyes filled with acceptance, she schooled her features. 

There was no sense in annoying him further now that she was getting what she wanted.

"Very well, mother. Proceed."

She shot the pup a look of annoyance at his tone before rolling her eyes. He was much too serious.

"As I was saying, my son, when a male meets their mate, certain instincts begin rushing through their being. They feel the need to protect, provide, and claim until the bond solidifies. Sometimes the urges develop more in the females than the males, but that is a lesson for another time.

Now, protection may come in the form of many things: aiding them with complex tasks, accompanying them on a journey, defending them from enemies."

Inukimi watched as her pup's head tilted to the side in confusion.

"Why would they go to that extent to protect them?"

"Until the bond is a tangible thing between their souls, they cannot aid them in any way should they become grievously injured."

Sesshomaru couldn't help his confusion. If someone found their mate and felt the need to protect them, how would they become 'grievously injured'?

Mating seemed unnecessarily complicated, and he wanted no part of it. 

"Now, providing for them could be a multitude of things,] and is solely dependant on the youkai and their mate. However, it is not something that should cause them to become distraught. They will know what they need.

And finally, is claiming."

Her son looked up at her with large, golden eyes. Taking in every bit of information she was imparting with innocent entrancement.  

She coughed lightly into the sleeve of her robe, ignoring the awkward feeling rising in her stomach.

"Well - we shall leave the topic of claiming to your father."

Sesshomaru watched confusedly as his mother strode away in the direction of the gardens, leaving him standing alone in the courtyard. 

He didn't understand how a lesson could make her smell so embarrassed but shrugged his small shoulders as he turned to go to the stables, putting thoughts of matings and females in a box labeled 'unimportant' in the back of his mind. 

xXx

"You are being entirely too emotional over this."

He couldn't help the growl that worked its way out of his chest. 

"It is his choice, Sesshomaru, and I will not condemn him for it. If the human is his mate, there is little he can do."

"It should not be possible."

He watched as she looked up from her claws, a single brow raised.

"Oh? And whyever would you think that?"

Sesshomaru grit his teeth. His irritation at his mother for her lack of concern over the situation rising to new heights.

"Was it not you who said she was nothing but a simple human?"

She rolled her eyes, straightening her position on the throne. 

"Yes, and what of it? If the kami tied their souls together, there is nothing he can do. If he fought it, and make no mistake, Sesshomaru, he did, it would be agonizing."

"I fail to see how a male who has had to crawl over a thousand miles with his entrails hanging out would have any difficulty fighting something like a bond," he spat venomously. 

Inukimi's eyes hardened impenetrably.

"Then you, my dear son, have never experienced soul-wrenching agony, and I pray to the kami you never have to."

He snarled, disgusted with it all, his mother, his father, the damnable human who was tearing everything in his life upside down, and the kami forsaken bond that everyone held in such high regard. 

It was a preposterous notion that something a simple as a female would have that much power over him. 

He would never allow it. 

With nothing left to say, he turned his back on his mother and strode out of her newly gifted castle, totally oblivious to the tears pooling in her eyes. 

xXx

Inu no Taisho stood before his son with his back turned. Sesshomaru could feel the waning strength of his youki slowly trickling away as lethal wounds refused to close. From where he stood, he could hear the blood starting to pool in his lungs and sneered in disgust at the weakness his father had allowed himself to succumb to. 

"Will you go, Father?"

"Keh, of course. What kind of male would I be if I allowed my female and newborn son to be slain when I alone hold the power to stop it. ?"

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed. 

"A male of intelligence."

He heard his father's shuddered breath as he sighed. 

"Tell me, Sesshomaru, have you someone to protect?"

Biting back the growl lodged in his throat, he replied, "I do not need anyone to protect. I seek power and power alone. My path is that of Supreme Conquest."

A soft chuckle that sounded eerily wet reached his ears.

"Supreme Conquest, eh? Sounds dull."

Sesshomaru saw his father's profile as he turned his head to peer at him over his shoulder, the ghost of a smile on his face. 

"Live well, my son."

The Inu no Taisho's youkai sputtered and thrashed as he demanded its cooperation. He could hear the grunts and snarls coming from his father as he finally reigned in enough of his power to transform, and with a mighty warcry, he leaped into the sky and traversed the clouds.

xXx 

The smell of smoke and decay filled the air, crackling embers and the cries of those that had survived wrenching his ears as each step took him closer to that which he sought. 

He did not bother himself with searching out the scent. The trail of the dead would lead him where he wished to go. 

Golden eyes flickered, occasionally taking in the ragged remains left in the wake of a determined youkai: a leaning wall, burning storehouses, gore-soaked grass, fear-filled animals, weeping humans.

His nose wrinkled in disgust. 

Stopping before the charred remains of the main shiro, Sesshomaru looked around, eyes carefully searching for any sign - there.

A hint of bone armor peaked out from beneath the wreckage, a tightness gripped his chest that he ignored as he floated over and lifted the piece of ceiling that had fallen in. 

He knew what he would find when he decided to come here. What he did not account for was his own reaction. 

His breath halted in his lungs, muscles tensed to the point he was visibly trembling, all the while it felt like he had an arm shoved through his chest. 

If he did not know for certain it was his father's armor, he could almost convince himself that it wasn't he that lay before him. If he could not see the slight indigo amongst the charred flesh of his face, he could almost trick himself into thinking it was another demon. 

He stumbled backward, something similar to panic gripping him as he stared at his fallen sire. 

This was not supposed to be the way. 

He was supposed to earn the honor of fighting of his father, to complete his rite into Lordship before he was felled. 

He was supposed to aid him in establishing peace with the new dragon leaders.

He was supposed to attempt to force him into some inane mating that he would fight and rebel against. 

He was supposed to continue his training, so he could take him to Totosai to receive his first sword.

He was supposed to be here, but instead, he had thrown his life away. 

For a human and a favored half-breed.

His lips pulled back in a snarl before he turned and fled. 

He would find them, and he would kill them both. 

xXx

An: I just want to warn you all now, this is a slow burn simply for the fact it's going to be quite a few chapters before Kagome even shows. I wanted to do something different that revolved around seeing Sesshomaru's life and point of view rather than experience the tidbits we usually get from him conversing with Kagome as their relationship grows. I wanted to do one that shows who he is from the start and why and how he became the way we all first experience him in the franchise. 

Of course, this being a canon divergence, it is going to have my own twist on events. Also, Kagome is going to be seventeen rather than fifteen.