Helpless When She Smiles by Sereia

Helpless When She Smiles

Author's musings: For Night

Inspiration/Prompt: "Helpless When She Smiles" by The Backstreet Boys

..::**::..

She was the only one who ever smiled in his presence.

Rin was innocence and adoration, but the miko knew—knew what he was capable of, knew his true self—and yet she still smiled.

It had started small. Smiles of acknowledgement and then understanding when it became apparent Rin was following him by choice. Of thanks, after he'd disposed of the poison-maker and his dark desires. She'd even seemed happy to see him in the depths of Naraku during their final battle.

Sesshoumaru had often wondered about the other kinds of smiles she was capable of—ones that he would be responsible for.

And then she was gone.

Spirited away by a jewel, a wish, a need to set things right.

As the years wore on, he was pained to admit he thought of her often; where she may have travelled, who she may have helped, if she still smelled the same. But these thoughts were fruitless and buried under the weight of survival and responsibility.

It was not as if he would ever see her again. She had been lost to time itself—not even his brother knew when she would appear. Inuyasha's memories of travelling through the well were vivid, but all based upon sights and sounds, and after a while, all the buildings started to look the same.

Sesshoumaru lost himself in mundane routines, content to numb himself to any resemblance of happiness.

And then she was there.

Real.

His sleeve gripped tightly in her hand, chest heaving, her eyes glistening with tears as recognition swept over them both.

She'd seen right through his glamour, choking on a name he hadn't heard in centuries.

"Sess-Sesshoumaru." The relief in her tone was palpable. 

"You are alive." It was more of a statement than a question, but he couldn't hide the shock on his face.

"The well—after I wished the jewel away, it sent me back here. The well closed. I've been trying to get back—s-six years—"

The memories seemed to be too much as she launched herself at him, arms wrapping tightly around his waist. 

The reiki that crackled up his back was a welcome reprieve, stirring old instincts long forgotten. 

They'd never been close before—forced to be allies in the fight against the spider hanyou—but she'd always been generous with her affection.

Sesshoumaru felt humbled.

Strong arms enveloped her, meaning to comfort and reassure, but it had the opposite reaction, her shoulders shaking as she began to choke and wail.

The ease of consoling females, regardless of species, had always eluded him, but this felt more so, as the need to quell her fears ran deep. His fingers twitched with the urge to stroke her back, but he restrained himself.

They were allies. Nothing more.

It took a few minutes, and many curious looks from passersby, before she collected herself enough to speak, her voice muffled against his coat.

"Please… Please tell me this is real. I've dreamed it so many times but no one—I haven't been able to feel any youkai since I got back." The fabric of his coat twisted between her hands.

"I am real, miko."

She nodded once, face still buried in his chest, the air around them saturated with the salt from her tears. 

If he'd been allowed, if it had been in a time long forgotten, he would've swept her up into his arms—used his concentrated youki to carry them to a place of seclusion. But humans were in abundance. And easily panicked, so he settled with escorting her into the nearest café, tucking them into a corner booth as he procured them hot beverages to battle the chilled winter air. 

She'd refused to let go of his hand the entire time.

Looking back on the encounter, Sesshoumaru knew it was due to her desperation and ongoing loneliness, but he could not account for each time after that.

They met up often, usually more than once a week, and she was just as lenient with her personal boundaries as the first time. Sometimes it was a brush of her hand against his cheek, fingers tracing magenta stripes; others, it was their sides pressed together, or feet interlocked under a table.

Her shoulders never relaxed until she'd physically confirmed his existence.

Perhaps it was his allowance of her self-indulgence that encouraged it so. But Sesshoumaru couldn't deny that he looked forward to her touches.

He'd had no way of measuring the passage of time before her reappearance. The streets had been lined with blurry faces, shrouded under a grey fog that he hadn't even realized he was drowning in until a pair of sapphire eyes drew him out of the darkness.

The world had seemed a little brighter that day.

..::**::..

Kagome glanced out the window again.

"Desist with your worries. You are not returning home tonight."

A blush stained her cheeks, but she raised her chin. "I don't want to go home. I just like looking at it sometimes."

A strange compulsion had struck Sesshoumaru after she'd told him about her father's accident. The promotion had only been a few weeks old, the rickety old sedan he used to get to and from work in serious need of an upgrade.

There'd barely been two inches of snow on the road when the Higurashi patriarch had lost control, the steering wheel not responding to his commands.

Kagome didn't like driving in the snow in the first place, or at all really, but Sesshoumaru refused to let her get into the driver's seat any time the fluffy, white flakes began falling from the sky.

Sticking her tongue out at his raised eyebrow, Kagome returned to her popcorn, tossing another kernel into her mouth.

"You do remember I actually like hanging out with you, right?" Her feet wiggled in his lap, poking him in the stomach for emphasis.

"You may have mentioned it once or twice."

Grinning, she settled back into the couch, the soft glow of his fireplace enhancing the mirth in her eyes. "You like being around me too, admit it."

"I admit to nothing."

This time she blew a raspberry at him. "Whatever, I know you well enough to know when you're lying."

"Do you?"

He'd meant it to be a lighthearted question, but the words were heavy as they hung between them. The air became charged, sapphire orbs staring back at him before she relaxed, the smile gracing her lips one he hadn't seen before.

"I'd like to think so." Her feet tapped to a song he wasn't privy to. "It's been almost a year since I found you—I've gotten used to a lot of your tells."

Was he that transparent?

The pressure on his lap disappeared as she sat up, and she tucked her feet underneath her, moving closer.

She poked him between his eyebrows. "This crinkles when you're concentrating. It happens a lot when you're painting." Her finger moved to between his eye and his left temple. "There are creases here when you're enjoying something."

"And what, exactly, do you think I enjoy?"

Excited giggles escaped her lips. "Lots of things! I first noticed it at the tea shop you took me to. The one you always get that special blend from. You also like cooking breakfast more than dinner and when Buyo sits in your lap at the shrine. And you're not as opposed to the Christmas tree I made you buy as you say you are."

Sesshoumaru managed to stop his lips from pursing, but her eyes lit up and her fingers moved to the right side of his jaw. "You think you're so sneaky, but this clenches when you're put out about something. The other side clenches when you're actually angry."

"I am sure you have seen that expression frequently."

Another giggle, this one softer and thoughtful. "I saw it a lot more in the beginning. Actually, I thought it was your regular face for a long time. I haven't seen it in a long time, though. Minus that thing on Valentine's Day."

This time his lips did purse. This era produced many advances—technology, housing structures, languages—but something that had not evolved was the unnecessary assault of his person by females in the middle of February.

Having the miko around had prevented a female from throwing herself at him, but she'd been persistent, and he hadn't been able to escape unscathed.

She'd had the gall to grab his ass as they'd been walking away.

The miko poked him between the eyes again. "You're thinking too hard."

"It appears you have been thinking harder than I. Your observation skills have improved."

"Maybe there's a reason for that."

The silence between them built again, and Sesshoumaru watched as turmoil swirled in her eyes before disappearing under the weight of resignation. She smiled at him, but it was tight and forced.

He hated it.

"Stop."

Kagome blinked in surprise, the single word cutting off whatever lie she was about to serve him. "I didn't do anything."

"The lie was evident on your face before it formed in your mouth. Be truthful, miko. Kagome. You have earned the right to do so."

The turmoil was back, and she bit her lip. Her features were more suited to her smiles. Without them, her skin lost its pallor, her eyes their sparkle.

He reached out, grabbing a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, the backs of his claws brushing against her skin.

Turmoil turned to guilt, then despair as she leaned into the touch, his hand now cupping her cheek. The moment stretched out, neither of them speaking as Sesshoumaru's gaze slid to her mouth.

That crass, honourable, seductive mouth.

She began to pull away, but he stopped her, his grip on her jaw tightening as he pulled her closer.

"You are allowed to be selfish."

"Am I?" Her words were barely a whisper.

"Hnn."

The affirmation seemed to give her courage as she closed the distance between them. The kiss was soft, seeking. Sesshoumaru let her lead, his thumb stroking the underside of her jaw. He fully expected her to pull back, but her hands slid into his hair, her lips moulding to his.

Then she was climbing into his lap, straddling his thighs as her tongue slipped into his mouth. Claws dug into her hips, arousal spiking. A growl reverberated through his chest, but she only pressed closer, nails dragging across his scalp.

"Kagome—" He tore his mouth away, chest heaving.

Half-lidded eyes stared down at him. "Are you going to tell me to stop?" One side of her mouth pulled up into a sultry smile. Heat bloomed in Sesshoumaru's chest before it spread low in his stomach.

"No."

"Good. Because I want to be really selfish."

He was ready for her this time, opening his mouth to meet every stroke of her tongue.

She tasted divine.

A moan escaped him, and he swore she purred in response, knees clenching on either side of his hips before she ground herself against him. The friction had him painfully erect, instincts screaming at him to take control.

He refused.

The impulse was strong, need coursing through his entire body like an addiction, but when he pulled back once more, the expression on her face was enough to quell the beast inside. Perhaps being the prey now and then was acceptable, if only to allow the goddess in his lap to flourish.

Her hands were inside his shirt, undoing the buttons before sliding the fabric over his shoulders. He readily obliged, it disappearing somewhere over his couch.

Fingers delved into defined muscle, tracing skin and then stripes. Sesshoumaru bucked when she found the tips of the colour on his hips, nails teasing the top of his slacks.

Why hadn't he changed into something without a zipper?

"You taste good."

"I doubt it is anywhere close to yours."

Kagome let out a breathy giggle, pressing their foreheads together. "I've wanted to do that for a long time.

"Why did you hesitate?"

Her hands came up to cup his face, thumbs stroking the stripes on his cheeks, her eyes fluttering closed.

"I didn't want to ruin what we had. I meant what I said earlier; I like being around you. Being with you."

"You were worried I would cut ties with you."

Another stroke. Sesshoumaru slid a hand up her back, his claws dragging up her spine. Kagome squirmed in his lap.

"Was that selfish of me?"

"Indeed. But as I have said, you are allowed to be selfish."

"Even if things change?"

He felt goosebumps roughen her flesh, her hips pressing against his. "Do you wish things to change?"

A soft moan escaped her lips, and her mouth was on his again, body grinding as hands explored.

Insecurities and clothes were shed, Kagome resuming her place on top of him, pushing him into the couch. Her mouth was everywhere, setting his nerves ablaze. Instincts were caught between the need to dominate and the pure satisfaction of having her bare in his arms—of how he couldn't smell the difference between her arousal and his own.

Unable to help himself, he grabbed a fistful of her hair, forcing her to arc as he buried his face between her breasts. Kagome's gasp turned into a moan as his tongue flicked out, teasing a nipple before taking the plump flesh into his mouth.

Reiki sizzled down his body, lifting the tips of his hair as she grappled for purchase, finally finding it in the silver strands.

He lapped at her skin, tongue curling and tasting. She writhed in his lap, and he wrapped an arm around her waist, anchoring their bodies together.

"No regrets?"

Her smile was anxious as she looked down at him.

Vulnerable.

Sesshoumaru dragged the bridge of his nose up the underside of her jaw, soft, whispered words teasing her senses as he begged for her touch.

The sound of his name on her lips was almost his undoing.

And then she was pushing down on him, inch by searing inch, nails digging into his shoulders as muscles clenched. He struggled to focus, struggled to keep himself from thrusting up, instincts screaming.

To possess.

To claim.

Hips touched down. Connected. Both of them shuddered, gripping each other before Kagome's mouth was on his, hot and desperate as she sunk down again.

And again.

And again.

Coloured lights reflected on pale skin, dark waves bouncing off her shoulders. The heat that had been building in his gut spread quickly, magnified by the way she teased and tugged at his skin. Whimpering, she pulled back, eyes clenched shut as her movements became erratic.

The heat intensified as Sesshoumaru realized she was just as affected as he.

"Look at me."

Kagome jerked, muscles clenching as blue eyes fluttered open in surprise.

"I want to see it. I want to see you."

A delightful blush spilled onto her cheeks, but she nodded once, the colour darkening as she moved faster. Auras swirled and clashed in a seductive dance for dominance, yet they were evenly matched—content to weave in between the waves of arousal radiating off them.

Claws lengthened as stripes turned jagged, and Sesshoumaru was sure there was no gold left in his gaze as the siren in his lap continued to lure him to the edge. Each sound out of her mouth pushed him closer until he was dangling on the precipice, fully willing to jump off but refusing to do so without her.

Burying his face in the crook of her neck, Sesshoumaru breathed a single word against her skin, tongue dragging across her pulse point.

"Please."

All the air left Kagome's lungs before she arched against him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as they fell in tandem, their cries harmonizing. The flames in the fireplace were nothing compared to the blaze that engulfed them. His fangs elongated, but he clenched his jaw shut, refusing to let the predator run free. It wasn't time.

Yet.

There was a process. It was an old one, but Sesshoumaru would adhere to it. He would enjoy it, but more than that, she deserved everything he would bestow upon her.

Besides, wooing Kagome would bring its own pleasures.

And perhaps another smile.

Her rapid heartbeat fluttered against his lips, and Sesshoumaru allowed himself to taste her skin once more. Shivering, she bent her head to the side, allowing him better access as she settled against him.

It took every fibre of his being not to accept what she was offering.

Soft lips traced the moon on his brow before Kagome pulled back. The satisfied look on her face bolstered his pride and cemented his decision.

He would keep her.

Lowering his head, he captured her lips, ravishing her mouth until she was clinging to him once more.

"You're way too good at that," she said, breathing heavily.

"Are you complaining?"

The blush returned, accented by yet another smile. "No. Wait—yes! You should've kissed me sooner!"

"I shall endeavour to make up for missed opportunities then."

A playful smack hit him in the chest as she giggled, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm glad I found you."

"The feeling is mutual."

She shivered, though he wasn't sure if it was due to the softening of his expression or the chill in the air, so he stood up from the couch. Keeping them connected, he sat closer to the hearth, mokomoko settling around her shoulders.

Kagome hummed and rubbed her face against the fur, then kissed the underside of his jaw. "If I fall asleep, wake me up in a couple hours."

"If you require rest, I will not disturb you."

The next smile burned with promise. "I require you. A lot. So disturb me all you want."

He wondered if the scent of his arousal was as apparent to her as hers was to him.

"As you wish."

It didn't take long for her to succumb to slumber, arms and legs still wrapped tightly around him, and Sesshoumaru was content to stay where he was. The floor was hard, the position awkward, and the fire's heat slowly became uncomfortable, but Kagome was secure in his embrace, and he was loathed to move her in any way.

Head resting on his shoulder, her raven hair spilled around her, contrasting against pale fur. His lips pulled up into a smile of his own, and he placed a chaste kiss against her temple.

He could withstand numb feet for a while.

The miko had always been an anomaly, even if he discounted her strange dialect and time-travelling abilities. Perhaps one day he would tell her just how much of an influence she'd had on him.

His arm flexed, tightening around her as he whispered her name into her hair.

He would call her mate before the next Christmas was upon them.