Complications of the Mind by Dee

Romantic Obession

I don't own Inuyasha :)

Sesshomaru looked over at Rin, curled up next to the fire, her small hands resting under her cheek. Rin would need a human or a mother. Or both, his mind supplied. He was thinking about his recent obsession with Kagome, a human with a dubious reputation. The revealing clothing that she wears and her current traveling companions made his attraction to her all the more unwanted. He was not sure what kind of influence she would have on Rin's already unusual behavior.

I am obsessed, maybe possessed by this need to belong.

Could he have the family he wanted? Kagome did not seem like a woman who would fulfill that role and yet he was so strongly attracted to her that she distracted him in battle! Of course, that was something he meant to keep to himself.

My romance ideal is nothing if not a fantasy. No person could possibly live up to my expectations and I know that but reality has no place in my fantasy.

Could he give up on his fantasy? He did not know Kagome well. She may have surprised him but what if he did decide to pursue her? What if he did not love her? What if she actually fell in love with him?

Maybe everyone's perfect mate is an illusion. Somewhere along the line, we know that it is not possible to have a perfect mate but why does it seem that we can fit into another's idea of perfection and they not fit ours?

Is that how is works? To reach an ideal only to have it dismiss you? Maybe our ideals have no room in reality but reality has no place in my fantasy.

Is that why when reality kicks in after the warm and fuzzy feelings subsidized that we feel cheated, obligated and closed in. Sesshomaru knew he would hate that feeling. Could he bring honor to his house? If he did not love her could he keep the fidelity?

Now then does that give us the right to dismiss an entire fantasy because of one or two flaws in our reality? When you have a fantasy that is an obsession, compromise is not an option. What happens when the flaws become part of the fantasy? Isn't that the romantic ideal or does it feel like I am lowering my standards?

Although these questions lay heavily upon him, there was nothing to do but try to eliminate some of the unknowns. He looked up at the quarter moon shuttered in by the clouds and thought; I will go and find Kagome.