Untouched Canvas by Hairann

Untouched Canvas

Kagome sat on the edge of her bed, staring up at the painting as she had every morning since it had been left for her almost a year ago. She wasn't sure if it was the beautiful way she was painted or who the artist was that kept her so captivated by it, she simply knew that she couldn't start her day without gazing upon it. Her ritual had long since become routine, she awoke, gazed upon it, bid him good morning and found herself smiling at her half naked form.

She had never really wondered why she missed him, since she hadn't when she first returned to the future, she simply chalked it up to the night between them seeming unfinished to her. She was never given the chance to say goodbye or really thank him for letting her live in the past if only for a moment. She was never sad, even if she did miss his presence, as she could always feel him beside her even though he was not really there.

Almost as if his spirit was following her around, watching over her, guiding her. Kagome scoffed at how ridiculous that sounded, there was no reason for her to even think he was dead, he had simply moved on. No, not to the afterlife, just to another place, another home away from everyone and everything else. They had their...she wasn't really sure what to call it as a one night stand seemed to almost insult their time together.

Well whatever it had been, they had had it and he had moved on. And she wasn't sad because she knew from the very beginning that it was all it was going to be between them, he had said to live in the past with her 'tonight'. Maybe he felt it would be easier on her to be gone before she returned, or easier on him. Either way it didn't really matter, the past was the past after all. Not that she would object to seeing him again, but she had long ago accepted it was not an option.

Whatever his reason was, whether she would ever know it or not, she had to accept it. He had started the dance between them, it was only right that he choose when the song ended. No matter how beautiful the song was, how passionate the dance. All she could do was move on with her own life, which she had been doing rather successfully for almost a year. She knew she would be blessed if she ever met him again, but Kagome knew better than to hold her breath.

Deciding it was time she got ready for her day, Kagome swung her feet off of her bed making sure to slip into her warm, fluffy slippers rather than let them touch the cold floor. Not for the first time, she grumbled to herself about how the shrine's floors had never been cold, but her smaller apartment's always were. “You'd think with less space to heat, it would be warmer here,” she mumbled as she made her way into her tiny bathroom.

She knew she really shouldn't complain, considering she was the one that picked out the apartment, decided to move out of the shrine, but it had never stopped her from grumbling about it before, why stop now? Turning on the hot water, Kagome quickly stripped down before stepping into the already steaming shower, wishing she wouldn't have to get back out so soon. But as she needed to begin another day of job hunting soon, she couldn't idle around.

Though she was quickly running out of places to apply, and her current part time job was barely enough to pay the rent, she squared her shoulders as she stepped back out of the shower and stood before the foggy mirror. Wiping her hand across the mirror twice, she proclaimed, “Today will be the day I find a job.” Giving herself a quick nod, she dried off and headed back into her room to change, throwing the damp towel on the floor without caring where it landed.

Just as she went to put on her shoes, Kagome heard her doorbell ring and glanced over at it in question, as if the inanimate object could explain who was at her door so early in the morning, or why. Hopping on one foot, as she tried to shoe the other, she made her way to the door and threw it open, about ready to scream at whoever was interrupting her morning. Only there was no one standing there to be greeted, rudely or otherwise.

Rolling her umber eyes at idiots who ring her bell for no reason, Kagome was about to slam the door closed when she heard someone clearing their throat. Confused, she glanced down to find probably the last person she ever expected, or wanted, to see again. Kagome stared at him blankly before blinking and closing the door. First she pinched herself to make sure she wasn't still dreaming and then rubbed her eyes, in case they were responsible for the odd sight she saw, and reopened the door.

He was still standing there, only with an annoyed expression for having the door closed in his face and Kagome could do little else but blink at him again. “Still have no manners I see, the least you could do would be to invite me in,” he insisted as he pushed passed her and entered her apartment without waiting for permission. “It's pretty small, but hell, I've lived in worse,” he admitted, though she wasn't sure he was even talking to her.

“Coffee?” she questioned, not really sure what else to say in such a strange situation. Seeing his slight nod of confirmation, she hopped her way into her small kitchen as she shoed her other foot. Thankful she had remember to set the timer the night before, Kagome quickly poured them each a cup and set them on the tiny dinning room table, which took up most of the room, before offering him cream and sugar. He declined both and took a sip of the steamy, slightly bitter liquid.

Keeping his fingers around the cup, to help warm them up, he turned his attention back to her, finding her staring at him silently from across the table. “He told me you were still alive, but I did not believe it until I saw you with my own eyes. Not even sure I believe it now that I have, but I suppose that does not matter. I assume you can guess why I am here,” he told her and unable to form words, Kagome merely shook her head that she couldn't.

“I can think of no other reason I would force myself to be in your presence unless it is for milord,” he informed her, his insulting tone having no effect on her as she was already used to it whenever she had to deal with him in the past. Instead of allowing herself to be baited by his words, she gestured for him to continue, hoping he would get to the point with little to no further insulting. “As much as I loathe the thought, I believe milord would benefit from a visit from you.”

“Umm Jaken, I don't know how much you are aware of what happened between us, but Sesshoumaru made it very clear he did not wish to see me again. Unless you see him disappearing while I was gone as something different,” she said sarcastically as she leaned back in her chair and stared at the imp-like demon before her. She watched in silence as he huffed in response and rolled his large, yellow eyes at her.

“Of course he did not wish to see such a pathetic human again, no doubt he regrets the abomination that, that night was, however, milord is stuck, so to speak,” he told her, waving his hand to empathize that he didn't mean physically. “Milord has been sitting there in silence, staring at a blank canvas since he returned from your meeting, unable to paint a single stroke. I have just recently gotten him to explain what had transpired and it is no doubt your fault.

“Therefore, it stands to reason that it is your responsibility to fix the mess you caused. I request nothing more than simply speaking to him,” he informed her and Kagome fought the urge to point out that he hadn't requested anything, but had demanded it instead. Sighing, Kagome made her decision before even thinking about it and stood, grabbing her jacket off of the back of the chair.

“Guess today won't be the day I get a new job,” she mumbled to herself as she put her jacket on before turning back to the waiting demon. “If anything goes wrong, know that I will blame everything on you. Now how are we going to get there? I'm pretty sure he's living out in the middle of nowhere again and no offense, but you don't look tall enough to drive,” she pointed without a hint of mockery in her tone.

“It has nothing to do with whether I am tall enough or not, I simply prefer not to drive because I do not like those damn contraptions. We will not be going by car,” he scoffed, as though the idea of using a car to travel a long distance was an outdated concept. Raising the staff of two head, which she had not noticed he had before that moment, he began waving it in front of himself, leading Kagome to believe he had lost his mind.

After a moment, just as she was about to ask him what it was he was doing, her question was answered as a large, black portal appeared before him. Kagome stood there in shock for a long moment, unable to think anything else then that there was a portal opened in the middle of her living room, before Jaken waved his hand in front of her face to get her attention back. “If that thing tears me apart, I will kill you,” she warned him as he turned and began heading through the portal.

Taking a deep breath, Kagome steeled herself for the unknown and followed after him. Scarcely a instant later, she had reappeared on the other side, finding herself surrounded by a dense forest on three sides and a mountain on the forth. Glancing around, expecting to find another run down hut, Kagome wasn't really surprised when she spotted a cave entrance instead. “He really likes being a hermit, doesn't he?”

Instead of answering her, Jaken merely stood next to the mouth of the cave waiting for her to proceed. “What? Not going with me?” she questioned after she had began making her way toward the cave only to find him unmoving from his spot. He simply stared at her for a few moments in silence, wondering why she cared if he was accompanying her or not, before shrugging his almost non-existent shoulders. Not accepting his lack of an answer, Kagome gave him a pointed look.

“Very well, if you must know, I have been forbidden from entering. Apparently I annoyed Lord Sesshoumaru with too many questions and he made me leave, threatening to remove my head from my body if I returned. As I am very much attached to my head, I would rather not anger him any further,” he explained with another barely visible shrug. Kagome chuckled in response, deciding to ignore the glare he gave her.

“You know, Jaken, I really doubt bringing me here is going to get you back on his good side. If anything, it will probably make it worse,” she warned him before turning and making her way into the cave, ignoring the grumbling from behind her. Even though she only caught the words stupid and human, she was pretty sure she knew what he was saying without having to stay around and hear him insulting her again.

Careful not to run into anything in the dimly lit cave, Kagome began making her way down the narrow passage that lead deeper within the mountain. Hearing the soft dripping of stale water, the sound echoing in the otherwise silent den, she couldn't help but wonder why he always choose such run down or decrepit places to live. She could understand him wanting to live far away from human populations, but figured building a modest hut that wouldn't attract attention would suit him more than a damp, dark cave.

Shrugging, since it didn't really matter either way, Kagome continued down the path, soon finding the soft glow of a fire was illuminating the direction she was heading. Stepping around a slight corner, she found the passage way opened up into a medium sized cavern and spotted Sesshoumaru kneeling silently in the middle of the room. Following his line of sight, she noticed he was staring at a blank canvas, even though a paint covered brush was in his hand.

Not sure of what would be a good ice breaker, Kagome opted to not speak and instead walked over to him, sitting down silently. She figured it would be better to allow him to be the first to speak and after almost a full minute had passed, he did, “Jaken?” He said only the one word, but Kagome could easily discover its meaning and simply nodded her head in response. She caught a barely audible sigh from him before he lapsed back into silence.

The minutes ticked by slowly as they both sat there in silence, looking not at each other but the untouched canvas before them. Just as she was about to speak, unable to stand the silence any longer, he began speaking again. “I can not remember what she looked like,” he admitted as he sat back on his heels and placed the still wet brush down on the ground beside him. Kagome stared at him in silence for a moment longer, not sure she had heard him correctly.

“You mean Rin?” she wondered, voicing her confusion and received a slight nod in response. “Why don't you just look at your older paintings to find out what she looked like? They were all really accurate and should help jog your memory,” she pointed out, confused as to why he hadn't already thought of that himself, though judging by his response, he had and had just dismissed the idea as it did not have the desired effects.

“It only makes it worse. It reminds me that I can not remember her face and only serves to anger me. I dare not chance the paintings becoming shredded because they point out my flaws,” he told her, speaking so softly she had problems hearing him and for a moment even thought she had heard incorrectly, as it did not sound like something he would say. She could not imagine him having flaws, letting alone admitting to them.

“Alright, I have an idea, though it may seem strange,” she began after a random thought floated through her mind. It was something her mother had told her to do whenever she missed her friends in the past. Relaxing back on her heels, she continued, “I want you to close your eyes.” Fighting the urge to roll her umber eyes when he gave her a strange look, she pressed on, “Just do it.” He continued to stare at her silently for a few moments before finally doing as she had instructed.

“Imagine her young, carefree, joyous; as she was when she was little. Long ebony hair, bangs pulled off to the side in a pony tail. Orange and white checkered kimono, dark green obi. Barefoot, running through fields and forests. The innocence of a child, the heart of an angel. Laughter that twinkled like a million bells, eyes that shown like the stars in the night sky. A smile that could even melt the ice that covered your heart.

“See her in a large, open field, surrounded by flowers of ever imaginable color. Her laughter echoing around her, her smile as bright as the sun when she spots your return,” she described, doing her best to remember Rin in her own mind before pausing to make sure he was still humoring her. Seeing he was, she continued, “Now I want you, not to paint Rin, but to try painting how she makes you feel. Paint what the image of her brings to mind.”

As she watched, Sesshoumaru grabbed a clean brush and dabbed it across his palette, though she was unable to tell the color he choose due to the dim light. She started to smile as he brought the brush close to it, but it soon turned into a frown when he paused right before the brush made contact, and stared at the empty canvas in silence. Seeing he needed a little push, Kagome stood quietly and walked up behind him, gently placing her hand on his wrist.

Guiding the brush to the canvas she whispered, “Don't think, just paint. It doesn't matter what you paint, only that you start painting again. This is how you keep yourself connected to the past, you do not want to lose it.” When he didn't resist her, she painted a few quick strokes via his hand before letting go to see if he would continue on his own. Smiling softly to herself when he did, she walked back to where she had been sitting before, and silently retook her seat.

Kagome watched in silence as he raised his brush to the canvas innumerable times, each one adding a new line of color to the painting, bringing it to life as the seemingly random strokes began to form a picture. The previously drab, empty canvas soon bloomed in color, depicting the moment between sunset and dusk, where both the sun and moon appeared in the same sky. Seeing he had finished, Kagome felt it was safe to speak again. “What does it mean?”

“The end and the beginning,” he told her as he signed his name at the bottom and rested back on his heels, putting down the used brush. Smiling, as those simple words could mean so much about how the tiny girl had affected his life, Kagome stood once again and removed the canvas. Setting it off to the side to dry, making sure not to place it near any water that had found its way into the cave, she grabbed another blank canvas and placed it on the easel.

“Now paint how I make you feel,” she instructed only to be met with yet another strange look. Laughing she told him, “Even if it's annoyed or angry, you should paint it.” With a barely visible shrug, he retrieved a clean brush and began again. As she watched in silence, an image began to appear of a battlefield, though she was unable to make out who the fighters were. Quicker than the previous painting, he finished and sat back in silence.

“What does this one mean?” she questioned, still unable to make out who the warriors were meant to be as they had no real faces or distinguishing marks. Instead on answering, he merely sat there in silence as he stared at the painting. “It's alright if you don't want to tell me, as long as you know what it means, that is all that matters,” she assured him as she stood and waited for him to sign it before replacing it with yet another canvas.

“Now paint how yourself makes you feel,” she instructed, once again, taking her seat next to him and falling back into silence. This time, without any further prompting, he grabbed a clean brush and set to work. With each new stroke, Kagome could see more of the picture coming through and found herself staring at a river, interrupted by a large boulder sitting in the middle of its path. Unable to understand the underlying meaning, she waited for him to finish in silence.

“It is strength and weakness,” he explained once the painting met his satisfaction and signed the bottom, without waiting for her to ask as he already knew she would. “The rock is strength, the river too weak to move it.” After setting down his brush, he glanced over at her to find her staring at him in question and he understood her confusion without her having to voice it. “Yes, I see myself as weak, you see it the same, do you not?”

Shaking her head no, Kagome answered, “I do not think you are weak at all. You are the strongest person I have yet met, both physically and mentally. Truthfully, I do not understand why you would think yourself weak, and even less so why you would admit it.” Kagome watched his eyes, as though the answers could be found there, and he simply stared at her in silence for a long moment, either unsure or unwilling to explain it.

“I have not felt truly alive in almost 500 years,” he began softly and Kagome held her breath to insure she didn't interrupt him as it seemed hard enough for him to say without her adding more complications. “I was unable to adapt with the changing world and live cut off from everyone else. I may have been the strongest at one point in history, but the same can no longer be said,” he insisted as he turned his golden eyes away from her.

“That is not weakness, Sesshoumaru. You are simply too strong for the modern world and really I can't blame you. I feel out of place here myself, and I was born in this time. I would give anything to live out in the untouched wilderness again, away from the hectic life that this era is founded on,” she told him, watching as he turned back to her with a confused expression. “Wondering why I don't just get away from it all?” she questioned and he nodded in response.

“I would get awfully lonely all by myself. In the past, I always had my friends by my, now I would have no one. I could not do as you have done, living a nomadic life all by myself, the silence would drive me insane. I am not meant for a solitary existence and my family likes their lives here because they do not know what they are missing out there,” she told him with a shrug, already having thought of the idea when she first decided to move out of the shrine.

“You could always go with me,” he told her softly, and once again Kagome found herself certain she had misunderstood him. He was the one that had decided to walk away from her without even saying goodbye, there was no way he now wanted her to stay with him. It was just too much of an uncharacteristic thing for him to suggest. But, seeing as he continued to just stare at her, apparently awaiting her response, she figured she had heard him correctly.

“Can you imagine that? Being around me full time? You barely lasted a day last time, Sesshoumaru,” she reminded him as if he had forgotten something that had happened less than a year ago. He fell into silence once again and she finally realized, that he did that every time he wished to choose his words carefully. Deciding to give him all the time he needed and not rush him, Kagome sat back and waited patiently.

“I need you, you allow me to paint again and as you said, it is what connects me to the past. Just as I am your connection to that which is long gone. I may not be much for company, but even I do not wish to live out my life completely alone. I have found myself wanting for a companion many times since Rin's death, but have found none worthy, until you returned to me. I once asked you to live in the past with me for the night, now I ask for the rest of your nights.”

So touched by such heartfelt words, Kagome could do little more but stared at him in shock for a long moment before finally managing to nod her head. Feeling the strange tension that had settled over them, Kagome decided to break the silence with a joke, unable to come up with anything more appropriate to say. “Alright, but you are not allowed to kill me if I annoy you.” Sesshoumaru simply watched her for a moment in silence before changing the subject.

“Can I paint you?” he inquired and Kagome nodded, heading for another blankt canvas only to have Sesshoumaru stop her by grabbing onto her arm. “That is not what I meant,” he explained as he stood and began removing her clothing. Curious as to what he was doing, Kagome allowed herself to be undressed, noticing he stopped once she was down to only her underwear. Grabbing a clean brush, Sesshoumaru began painting directly on her skin, causing her to giggle as the bristles tickled her.

Kagome stood silently, doing her best not to fidget with each passing of the brush, watching as the paint covered her exposed skin inch by inch. After what seemed like forever, he finally stepped back to admire his masterpiece, and she took a good look a what he had painted. It was the moon and stars, surrounded by endless sky. “It's beautiful,” she whispered as she glanced back up at him with a smile. Instead of replying, he merely returned her gaze before stepping forward to kiss her lightly on the lips. Somehow knowing where it would lead, Kagome warned, “You're going to mess up your artwork.”

“It matters not, I can always paint you again. We have all the time in the world,” he assured her as he pressed his lips against hers once again, this time with more passion and strength. Already knowing how amazing it felt to be in his arms, Kagome never second guessed what was about to happen or even why it was happening. It was what she wanted, had been hoping to experience again since that fateful day almost a year ago.

Feeling Sesshoumaru's hand beginning to trail across her stomach, Kagome moaned into the kiss, causing him to smirk as he began to remove his own shirt. Releasing her, he spread it out and lowered her on top of it before capturing her lips once again. As she entangled her hands in his long, silky hair, pulling herself slightly off of the ground, she deepened the kiss. She wished he would speed up and slow down at the same time, as he gently traced his fingers across her curves, creating goosebumps in their wake.

“More,” she moaned into his lips, unable to think or say anything else and felt, more than heard, him chuckle in response. Annoyed at him refusing to sped up any, as he continued to slowly trail his fingers across her flesh, Kagome raised her hips off of the ground, pressing her heated core against his still covered manhood, franticly rubbing against him to create very pleasurable friction for the both of them. Her actions were met by a deep growl that had her bitting his bottom lip to keep from moaning again.

The slight pain and ever increasing friction was almost enough to cause Sesshoumaru to loose control, but he fought against the urge to speed things up, wanting to savor every moment she was beneath him. “Patience,” he growled out, ending the kiss as he pushed her back to the ground and began trailing whisper like kisses across her neck. Seeing she was going to obey him, at least for the moment, Sesshoumaru allowed his tongue to emerge and began to slowly slid it across her skin.

Ever so slowly, he made his way to one of her pert breasts, sucking the hard, pink nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it. The sensation caused her to moan against her attempts not to and her back rose from the ground of its own accord. Releasing the small nub with an almost inaudible plop, Sesshoumaru smirked at the fidgeting woman beneath him. She growled at him, both for stopping and for looking at her with that self-satisfied look on his face, and lowered her hands to scrap her nails across his chest.

The slight pain caused Sesshoumaru to bite his own bottom lip and Kagome found the sight to be the most erotic thing she had ever seen. Feeling the moisture begin to seep from between her petals, Kagome repeated the action as she raised her knee to caress between his legs. The growl he gave off echoed around the cavern, serving to turn her on more than she already was. “It has been far too long since I have felt you with every fiber of my being, do not take your time, Sesshoumaru. We have all of the time in the world to do that later,” she insisted in a slightly husky voice that betrayed her arousal.

Chuckling, Sesshoumaru rose off of her, making sure he had her undivided attention before beginning to untie the string that held his pants, watching as her umber eyes followed their path to the ground. Stepping out of them, he kicked them to the side before lowering back over her, positioning himself close enough he could feel the heat emanating from deep within her. Reaching between the bodies, he began to rub himself against her petals, feeling just how ready for him she really was.

Smirking in satisfaction at how little he had to do to get her ready and waiting beneath him, Sesshoumaru began to slowly slide within her, her low moan music to his sensitive ears. Releasing himself, connecting with her completely with just a slow thrust of his hips, he placed his hands on either side of her head and leaned down to recapture her lips. As he began a slow rhythm, pulling himself out until he was just barely still connected before pressing his hips forward again in a fluid motion, Kagome slid her hands down his back, raising her own hips to meet his.

“Faster,” she pleaded as she broke away from the kiss and leaned up to lick the shell of his pointed ear, nibbling on the tip. The action caused him to growl above her as he began to pick up the pace and she nibbled again, adding a bit more pressure this time. He responded with another growl, only deeper and huskier than the previous, causing her to smirk against his ear in satisfaction. It wasn't just him that could drive her crazy, apparently she could do the same and intended to take full advantage of the knowledge.

Keeping her pace as closed to his as she could, Kagome continued to trail her fingers across his broad back, allowing her blunt nails to slightly bite into his flesh, leaving thin, red lines in their wake. The sensation caused him to pick up speed once again, now going too fast for her to keep up with and as she stopped trying, he raised her legs, placing them on his shoulders as continued to increase his pace. Feeling him now much deeper within her body, Kagome moaned deeply, the sound echoing in the cavern around them.

Taking her hand, Sesshoumaru placed it between her legs, rubbing her middle finger against her sensitive bud until she got the idea and began the movement on her own. Hearing her moan his name in between pants, Sesshoumaru picked up the tempo knowing she would soon reach her desination. Feeling herself getting close, Kagome began rubbing against her sensitive nub even harder, loving the way it felt in combination with he movements above her.

As he felt himself coming close to his peak and wanting to make sure she reached hers first, Sesshoumaru began lifting his hips in a different angle, knowing it would brush himself against her sensitive bud, making it that much more pleasurable for her. Instantly he knew it was working as she began to pant out his name, only to trail off after the first syllable with a moan. Knowing her peak was upon her, Kagome grabbed a fist full of his hair, yanking his lips down to hers and capturing them in a fiery kiss.

Moments later, she threw her head back and screamed out his name as her inner sanctum clamped down around him, making it almost impossible to keep up with his current pace. Though after a moment, he realized it didn't matter as the extra friction quickly caused him to fall over the edge as well. Between the feel of her around him, and still tight hold on his hair, Sesshoumaru could do little else than growl out his pleasure.

The vibrations it sent through her body, from where he was still connected to her intimately, threw her over the edge for the second time. Her hold on his hair only grew in force, as she pulled him toward her body, practically crushing herself in the process. Waiting a few moments for her to come down from her high, Sesshoumaru rolled off of her, allowing his flaccid length to slide out of her warm, inviting cavern. The silence grew between them for a few long moments as they allowed their breathing and heart rates to come back down to normal pace.

Smiling softly at the demon lying beside her, Kagome rested her head against his shoulder, breathing in his musky scent. “I hate to move, but I will need to get some stuff from my apartment and let my family know that I am leaving. And the sooner I get it done, the sooner we can get lost in our past. So I should probably get dressed,” she pointed out as she gestured toward the strong arm that was still wrapped around her waist. “You won't disappear on me again will you?”

Sesshoumaru shook his head, watching as she began getting dressed once he had finally released her. “I will not, this time, I will come with you,” he assured her as he too stood and began regathering his clothes. Once dressed, Kagome went to reach for the paintings, not wanting to leave them there, but he stopped her. “Leave them, Jaken will retrieve them,” he informed her as he took her hand and began leading them back out of the cave and into the future.