A Long Hard Road Ahead by Seijaku

Chapter 1

He watched the girl, making sure to pay close attention to every emotion as it ran across her face. She had just returned home - to the future - from 'that fateful day.'

He knew what had happened of course. He had already lived through it. Never had he breathed a word of it to her, though. To have done so would have been unacceptable. No matter how it affected him, seeing her go through it, he had known better than to say anything, in the event that it may have changed the course of events of time. Not even he, Sesshomaru -Daiyoukai, Lord of the Fuedal West- had that right.

So he continued to watch her as she slowly, unsteadily, made her way across the shrine yard and into her house. Never did she spare a glance in his direction, and he had to ask himself if she was upset with him for not warning her. Not that he would blame her. Stifling a small sigh, he turned to look at the well house she had just exited, and allowed his mind to wander back to that day 500 years ago for himself, but only a few mere moments ago for her.

-~-~-~-~-

He watched the girl, not quite sure what to make of what he saw. It had only been a mere few days since she had come home. Barely enough time to simply come to grasps with what had unfolded, let alone being even close to enough time to being able to get over it. He had expected her to be holed up in her room, inconsolable to quite a bit more time. However, there she was- sitting under the God Tree, giggling as she played with that cat of hers.

He walked up to her, making sure to be silent, but she looked up at him as if she had known he was there the whole time. Perhaps she had. The bright smile she flashed him peaked his curiousity even further, and a small frown appeared across his face.

"Tell me," he said in greeting, "how are you so happy?"

She cocked her head at him in question, as if she had no clue what he spoke of.

Attempting to keep his frustration in control, he continued. "It has been only a few days since your return. Explain your mood."

It wasn't as if he couldn't tell that the happiness was faked; that was made apparent by the hooded pain in her eyes, and the way the corners of her mouth were turned down, even when she attempted to smile. What he wanted, though, was an explanation as to why she thought it necessary to act happy. In front of him, of all people. The only other being that knew exactly what she was going through.

Kagome continued to look up at him mutely, but her face was drawn in contemplation, as if trying to construct as answer for him. When she didn't say anything after a few more moments, he pressed on.

"They are gone, Kagome. Forever. Yet, here you sit - not even mourning their passing. Explain." He didn't mean to be so harsh, but it was all quite frustrating. He had long ago learnt that humans expressed their pain very thoroughly, and very openingly. Yet, here she was-defying 'normal' human behavior yet again.

Her face fell at his words, and he knew that he would get no straight answer just yet, so he pushed on.

"Why be happy? Or moreso, why act happy? What good does it do you? Everyone knows it is simply a mask, to cover your sorrows and pain. Why dilude yourself?"

She shrugged, still not sure how to answer him. After a few moments, though, something obviously came to her. "It makes you feel better?" She said unsteadily, as if offering a solution that not even she fully believed in. He only quirked an eyebrow in response, and she sighed and looked away.

A small while later, though, she spoke again. This time, her voice was firm, if not a bit wavery.

"It allows you to live. To continue on. Because what else can you do? What good does it do them, the ones you've lost, to mope in sorrow, and feel sorry for yourself? Will it bring them back? No. Will it help them forgive you? Probably not. Will it heal the pain in your soul? Not even close." She turned to look at him, and the tears he knew that she hadn't let fall yet, were finally let free. "What else can I do for them, Sesshomaru?" She whispered, heartbroken.

He understood, then. What the reason behind all this was. She was being happy, for them. She was being strong, for them. She was going to live, for them.

He allowed a small smile to form on his face as he turned to look up at the sun as it began to settle into the horizon. She would be alright, he knew. It might take awhile, and the hard parts were yet to come. Even so, he knew that she would make it, and he would be there with her.

-~-~-~-~-

This is something I wrote just now, in about 30 minutes. It had to come out. Forgive me for it not being beta-d or edited. I am posting it straight after writing it.

I have gone through something that no one ever should, and this may prove to be part of my healing. Thank you for reading.

-Lora