The Perils of Being Barney by Danyealle-sama

The Perils of Being Barney

The Perils of Being Barney

By Danyealle

I own nothing of Inuyasha, so sad for me, or Barney, thankfully, and I make no money of any kind from this exercise in idiocy.

Standing there, arms folded over his chest, foot tapping, Sesshomaru glowered at his mate.  “This Sesshomaru is not putting that atrocity on!”  He snarled at her, eyes flashing dangerously.

Sighing softly, Kagome looked at him imploringly, batting her eyelashes a bit.  “I know you don’t like the show or the outfit but it’s for your sons.  You know they adore it.  It’s just for a couple hours Sesshomaru, that’s all.  Think how much Ginjiro and Kazu would adore this.  You’re doing it for them.  No one is going to know it’s you in the suit but us.  Please Sesshomaru,” she ended, pleading with him, holding out the purple suit in his direction.

Glaring at her, he was about to emphatically tell her what he thought she could do with that monstrosity of a suit, but stopped when he thought about his twin three year olds.  Honestly, he adored the boys and would do about anything for them.  In this case, they were the only reason he would even consider putting his cherished person into such a thing.  Then he considered what she said.  For reasons he couldn’t quite fathom, his two pups adored all things Barney and would about lose their minds with pleasure if the ugly, stupid purple nightmare showed up at their birthday party.  They had tried to hire someone to come dressed as the dumb dinosaur but they were all booked up.  Now, if they wanted to make the party something that they would remember, either he or Kagome was going to have to get into that suit.  Kagome was too small for it to fit and she was needed to organize and keep order during the party.  That left it up to him.  Though he wanted to say no, he was finding himself unable to do so when he thought of the look on his pup’s faces when they would see their purple idol show up unexpectedly.  Glaring at her, he said, “There will be no pictures of this and we will never speak of it again if I do so.”

Nodding enthusiastically, Kagome agreed.   “I won’t talk about it ever and no pictures will be taken, I promise.”  Though she felt a bit bad about manipulating him this way, using their boys to get him to do something, that would be balanced out by the looks on the boy’s faces when they saw Barney at their party.  This was the first real birthday party, with guests other than family, that they would have so she wanted it to be perfect and special for them.  Barney was the one thing that she wanted to get for entertainment since the decorations were all inspired by the purple dinosaur.  But she hadn’t been able to hire anyone for it.  That meant she panicked.  Finally, she had been able to rent the costume because someone had canceled at the last minute.  It was her thought that she would get in the costume until she saw it.  As it turned out, it was meant for someone much larger than herself and would hang off her.  That left only Sesshomaru.  She was bound and determined to convince him to get into it.  Giving him the big puppy dog eyes that she knew he couldn’t resist, she asked, softly, “Does that mean you’ll do it?”

Shooting her a heated look that told volumes about his displeasure, he gritted his teeth then hissed out, “I will but if anyone hears about this there will be a price to pay miko!”

Nodding enthusiastically, Kagome grinned from ear to ear.  “No one will, I promise!”  Dropping the costume, she threw herself on him, hugging him tightly.  “Thank you Sesshomaru!   This will be something the kids will never forget!”

Relenting and relaxing a bit, Sesshomaru hugged her close, resting his head on the top of hers.  “In the future, when the pups give me trouble, you need to remind them of the lengths that their father has gone to make them happy.”

XxX

Four hours later, Sesshomaru was regretting his decision to do this.  Sure, when the twins had seen ‘Barney’ show up at the party they were ecstatic and all but went into the throes of nirvana from the thrill of it but now, an hour after ‘Barney’ made an appearance, he was ready to kill the little monsters at the party.  Sure, for the first half an hour, all the children in attendance were fine, well behaved around their purple idol.  Though he didn’t like it, they all hugged him, resulting in several cups of punch being dumped on him because of that, or sat on his lap, one of the little hellions had wet on him, that made him want to kill someone, but, beyond that, they were fine. After that, he just mingled here and there, nothing really bad happening, making sure that everything ran smoothly and the brats all behaved.

Then, about a half an hour ago, things started to shift somewhat.  He wasn’t sure what happened but the mood of the little monsters attending the party seemed to take on a bit of a sadistic streak.  Kagome assured him it was just because they were getting bored, that she would find something for them to do besides smack him with sticks or poke him with their forks.  But he wasn’t sure about that.  It was his thought that it was time for Barney to leave for the day and he come out to help supervise the little monsters.  But, no, it couldn’t be that easy!

Just as he was about to make his exit, one of the little heathens had come up with the game pin the tail on Barney.  When they all seemed to be for that game, he was trying to make an exit quickly but the little monsters were faster than he was and started chasing him around despite Kagome trying to stop them.  Now, well, he was skulking around in the bushes, trying to get into his own house to get out of this nightmarish suit!  But the kids were now ‘Barney hunting’ carrying those fake tails to pin on him.

Growling, he glowered at a couple of the little beasts that passed close to him, calling out for Barney.  Honestly, he was fighting the urge to kick the little heathens a good one but that would only give his position away and he would be besieged with the others.

Crouching in the bushes, he was thinking up ways to get even with the miko for this.  Maybe next year he would insist that she dress up as Hannah Montana or some such rot.  But, by Kami, no one better find out about this whole nightmare or there would be a price to pay.  And, when his pups became teenagers, he would make sure that they knew they owed him big time for this indignity!