Firemen and Orange Muppets by Luna

Firemen and Orange Muppets

Standard disclaimer applies. I don’t own a thing!

This fic was written solely for r0o’s Birthday DDN on May 3rd 2011, and for no other purpose.

It’s silly and inane and totally written for laughs and dedicated solely to sugar0o!

Happy Birthday r0o, and I hope you enjoyed!

…

Firemen and Orange Muppets

By: Luna

…

“Do it.” Kagome said through clenched teeth, the firemen outfit clutched in one hand while the other was clenched in a fist.

Sesshoumaru huffed, refusing to reply to his mate’s demand. “No.”

“I would if I were you.” She warned softly, a tick starting to form in her right eyebrow. She wore a Dalmatian print shirt and shorts, with the most ridiculous set of doggy ears nestled on her head, courtesy of a headband bought at a party warehouse.

He looked over her outfit again pointedly. “I am not wearing that outfit if you are wearing that one.”

She looked over her outfit before looking back at him. “What? Would you like to be the dog?”

---

Sesshoumaru let himself be dragged into the retirement home, but he made sure Kagome worked for it. There was no way he’d ever willingly step into a building that smelled of old people, and by the time they made it through the doors she was panting.

There was birthday balloons, cake, and watered down punch. Sesshoumaru thought this ridiculous; what was the purpose of a themed party if the only theme was ‘costume’?

When a pair cut in front of them, even Kagome stopped and stared.

One was a light bulb, and the other was dressed in a blue bunny outfit.

“Wha…?” Kagome muttered. “Are they supposed to be a… plunnie, or something?”

Sesshoumaru didn’t know what a plunnie was, but he was suddenly glad Kagome picked him to be a fireman.

---

“Have you brought presents?” The old man demanded without preamble. A hopeful expression crossed the old mans face. “Candy?”

“You can’t have candy, Grandpa.” She chided gently.

“Oh, it’s getting dark! I can see the light! Oh, where has my youth gone? All I wish is to sample the sweet sugar of life… in the form of Peeps… or maybe even Gumdrops.” He shot a glare at Sesshoumaru. “How could I give my blessing to a DEMON of a grandchild who doesn’t love me enough to fulfill my last wish?”

Sesshoumaru sighed.

“Oh, look.” He said lamely, pointing in a random direction.

When Kagome actually turned, he slipped the old man a bag of treats, which disappeared with a benign smile in the face of Kagome’s confusion.

“Look at what?”

---

The minute Kagome turned away from her grandfather to coo at an orange Muppet, he pounced on the bag of treats, and Sesshoumaru winced at the sound of dentures scraping against sugar.

“Do you really have to eat that right now?” Sesshoumaru asked with a grimace. “For all you know you’ll choke and die… at your own birthday party… in front of your grandchild…”

“Shuddup, demon.” Grumbled the old man with his mouth full. “She’d never believe you gave them to me, so you’d be in the clear.”

Sesshoumaru brightened considerably at that. “Very true. Then by all means, eat away.”

---

“Listen, demon.” The old man spoke quickly when Kagome started back with orange muppet in tow. “You bring me more of the good stuff, and I’ll give you my permission to marry Kagome.”

“You said that the last time.” Sesshoumaru reminded him.

“Well look!” he pointed to the empty bag. “It wasn’t enough!”

“What is this, a drug deal?” Sesshoumaru growled, exasperated. “Fine, whatever. It’s your funeral… literally.”

Even as the old man opened his mouth to retort, Kagome was there, beaming at the orange Muppet with the I.D. tag that read, “I’m r0o! And it’s my birthday too!”

Old Higurashi beamed as if a deal hadn’t been going on. “Oh, aren’t you clever? You even rhymed!”

---

Grandpa Higurashi flirted with r0o outrageously, under the indulgent eyes of Kagome and the irritated ones of Sesshoumaru.

“It’s so cute.” Sighed Kagome.

“It’s revolting.” Sesshoumaru said instead. “He’s old enough to be her grandfather. Does he really think he‘d get a babe like that?”

“Hey now you’re being too…” Kagome paused, narrowed her eyes just the slightest bit. “‘Babe’? You think she’s a babe? Her, instead of the wife who dressed up in your favorite fetish and who you haven’t complimented on all night?”

Sesshoumaru wisely picked up his spork and shoveled more cake in his mouth. If he kept his mouth full, maybe she wouldn’t expect him to answer.

---

Sesshoumaru walked out of the retirement home wearing an assortment of colors that created a strange sort of art on his chest as it ran down the material of his fake fireman costume.

Kagome fumed as she stomped next to him. “I can’t believe you!”

“What?” Sesshoumaru asked, innocent. “You told me to be nice, so when she said ‘Kiss the Birthday Girl!’ I had to comply with your wishes.”

“I meant be nice to ME!” She fairly screeched. “You can’t kiss my Muppet friends! And besides, it shouldn’t even count as her birthday!”

“Oh?”

“She wasn’t born!” She told him in a hiss. “She was made that way!”

“Sugar and spice and everything -”

Sesshoumaru didn’t say anything more as he followed his wife to their car, sporting a red hand print on his cheek along with the cake his wife threw at him.

---

Sesshoumaru stood quietly next to Kagome as she fumed in the middle of the parking lot. She turned to him with a huff. “Well? Where’s the car? Can’t you sniff it out?”

He refrained from reminding her that she was the one dressed as a dog. However… “Can’t. You shoved cake up this Sesshoumaru’s nose.”

Kagome huffed one more time before moving to stomp in a random direction, before she tripped over an invisible crack and started flailing around, squeezing her eyes shut as the ground came closer…

She face planted on a cake smeared chest, and blinked up at her mate with sugar coated eyelashes as she licked her lips clean.

Sesshoumaru’s eyes darkened, and he licked the corner of her mouth at a spot she missed. “Mmm, tasty.”

---

Kagome pouted down at Sesshoumaru, the fire in her eyes fading, and ignoring for the moment the fact that they were now both covered in cake and lying in the middle of a parking lot for no apparent reason. “You shouldn’t have kissed her.”

“But she was the birthday girl.”

“That’s no excuse!” She fumed.

He nuzzled her neck. “Don’t worry. At the moment, you definitely taste sweeter.”

Kagome melted against him before his words registered. “At the moment?!”

“Er.” He thought fast. “Always!”

When she relaxed again, he licked some frosting off her cheek before kissing her ear. “C’mon. Let’s go home and take a shower to clean this stuff up.”

Kagome rose, but then looked him over with a glint in her eyes. “We can definitely go home… but I have a better way than a shower to clean you up.” She licked her lips.

Intrigued, he followed her, a (slightly relieved) smile on his face.