It's Called Sarcasm, Sesshoumaru. by InuAtashi

It's Called Sarcasm, Sesshoumaru.

I unfortunately, do not own InuYasha or any of the characters pertaining to the manga/anime. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Any original characters, however, do belong to me. This story is not intended for individuals under 18 years of age. Othrwise, I Hope you all enjoy, 'cuz I'm BACK! ;)

PART 1: It's Called Sarcasm, Sesshoumaru.

She was going to have a conversation with him, even if it killed her.

"...So there's a series of books that my friend tells me are amazing. I haven't read anything in ages. Well, except for my school textbooks, but now that school is behind me I don't even have that... All this shard hunting doesn't leave much time for me, ya know?"

"Hn."

"God, you're so talkative. You really ought to learn to pace yourself sometimes."

The Inu Daiyoukai raised an eyebrow at the silly little Miko's comment. That was all he would show if his otherwise hidden amusement.

"It's called sarcasm, Sesshoumaru."

"I am very well aware of what 'sarcasm' is, Miko."

"I have this sudden urge to stick my tongue out at you."

"You do that, Miko, and see what happens. At least this, Sesshoumaru, would no longer have to put up with your inane babbling."

"Geez, Fluffy… Who played fetch and stuck the stick up your ass?"

Sesshoumaru let out a low, glutteral growl in warning; a baritone deep enough to send vibrations throughout the ground beneath them. No one was allowed to call him such a title as 'Fluffy.' He would not let her get away with such again.

"You know? Whatever! I only tried to have this conversation with you because I thought you might understand. I can't talk about books or anything educational with InuYasha. I don't even think he can read! So forgive me for acknowledging your intelligence!"

With that being said, Kagome crossed her arms and raised her chin in defiance while mentally patting herself on the back for pulling that verbal stunt. If he was in any way blood related to InuYasha, he'd unknowingly fall for the trick of having his ego stroked during her rant. All there was left to do was wait and see...of course, while she acted totally perturbed. The seconds turned into minutes, which seemed to drag on forever. Just when her patience was about to break...

"Why do you not just purchase these books that your friend spoke of, Miko? It is not a complicated matter."

She mentally did a happy dance at his response, completely unaware that he was fighting the urge to strongly discipline her for her mouthiness. He had, after all, told himself she would not get away with such things.

"We can't afford to. So yes, it's a little complicated."

"Who is 'we'? Are you well, girl?"

She turned towards the dog demon and shot him an un-amused look, while putting her hands on her hips.

"My family, back home… That's who 'we' is."

"Hn."

Kagome rolled her eyes as the silence ensued for a time...

"This, Sesshoumaru, will assist you."

"Wait? What?"

"I do not repeat myself."

"NO!"

"It is wise, Miko, that you do not direct such a tone towards my person or tell one such as I 'NO'."

"Well, too bad! I bow down to no one and you of all people, youkai, WHATEVER, should know that! I don't need your charity, Sesshoumaru!", she exclaimed as she flapped her arms about excitably.

Once again he raised an eyebrow at the Miko's display. Really, he should throttle the girl, but that odd feeling of amusement had taken over.

"Look. It's not like I don't appreciate the offer, especially coming from you, but I can't accept it."

"It is not often that I feel generous, woman, and never towards a lowly ningen such as you."

He fought the smirk that desperately wanted to surface at the remark he made to rile the Miko, but unbeknownst to him, she had caught the playful glimmer in his eyes.

"Yeah, well, this 'lowly' ningen has no need of your generosity."

"It appears to me that you do."

"Nope…"

"Hn..."

"Give it up, you stubborn dog..."

"Petulant human..."

"Fluffy..."

"MIKO..."

"Fine, Prince Iceberg! If you want to help me then I won't stop you!"

Yeah, she really wanted those books!

Sesshoumaru stopped suddenly and turned to the girl, narrowing his eyes in apparent anger.

"Pray tell, woman, what is an 'iceberg'?"

Oh how he hated to admit his lack of knowledge on any subject, but he would not let a possible insult slide. Kagome sighed before she began her explanation.

"An iceberg is a giant hunk of ice that floats around in the coldest oceans of the world. Ironically, they are virtually unstoppable & potentially fatal if you run into one & therefore they always get their way."

Content to know she hadn't truly insulted him, he simply lifted an eyebrow at her before replacing his stoic mask. He then turned and walked away, ignoring her completely.

That was it. She could tolerate a lot of crap from people and demons alike. But there was something about having somebody turn their back to her and ignore her that rubbed her the wrong way, especially coming from a certain arrogant dog demon. It was the ultimate of pet peeves, like nails on a chalkboard. So true to her quick tempered nature, her emotions took over and she did one of the dumbest things that any creature in the feudal era could do; she kicked Sesshoumaru square in the ass. Hard.

He moved with lightening speed, hardly a blur to her human eyes and lashed out at her lithe form with his Mokomoko. There was no time to register what was happening; All Kagome knew was that in an instant she was no longer standing upright, but dangling upside-down by her left leg at eye level with one pissed off looking Daiyoukai lord.

'How dare she...kick this, Sesshoumaru, in the…!'

He was seething inside. NO ONE had EVER assaulted his body in such a way before. She would pay for her stupidity, but as he was trying to formulate the perfect punishment for the spitfire Miko, his guard had dropped.

BIG mistake…

 Kagome's hand shot out in anger and annoyance, grabbed a fistful of his silvery tresses, and then jerked them back in her direction, succeeding in throwing the great and powerful Lord Sesshoumaru off balance.

In the midst of his untimely fall, Mokomoko had released its grip on Kagome. She quickly began to scurry away, thinking she had the upper hand at the moment. She was about to push herself up off of the ground to…well, she hadn’t figured that part out yet, when a smooth hand grab her by the ankle, flipped her over onto her back and dragged her towards the angriest Daiyoukai she’d ever seen. And she’d seen Sesshoumaru at his fiercest.

Before Kagome knew what happened, Mokomoko’s silkiness had already wrapped itself around her midsection and a raging dog demon was atop her. She was trapped, with the Prince of dogs nestled tightly between her legs. Oh yeah…no way out this time.

They stared each other down, neither one looking away. Kagome would show no fear as she stared into Sesshoumaru’s crimson eyes. It was oddly quiet, only the rustle of the wind through the tree branches could be heard. He delicately sniffed along her neckline. It tickled her slightly, but she fought the urge to giggle. There was no smell of fear on her. Deep inside, Sesshoumaru knew that even the toughest inu bitch would be trembling in fear of him. Not Kagome, though.

In a rough, primal baritone, he uttered a single word. “MINE.”

Kagome’s eyes widened slightly. He quickly closed his eyes and turned his head away from her. Deep inside she didn’t like that, but as she reached to turn his face back towards her, she realized their hands were locked together above her head…fingers entangled with each other. As he moved to pull away, her grip tightened. Sesshoumaru turned back to face her with a questioning look in his now brilliant golden eyes. They seemed to communicate without words in this moment. It suddenly felt beautiful. Kagome still had not broken eye contact with him, so he decided that he would not either.

The winds picked up, steadily growing stronger. Silver strands of hair entangled with midnight. Still, their eyes did not lose contact.

For the first time in his existence, Sesshoumaru fought whispering her name with a trembling voice. And that in itself made her heart swell.

Then he kissed her.

Soft and shy at first, then bolder and deeper it became… Sesshoumaru and Kagome were lost in one another.

Then…

“WHAT THE FUCK?!,” came the angry and extremely shocked voice of InuYasha. The rest of the group were blushing furiously and looking around to find something to hold their attention.

Behind a curtain of silver hair, the Miko and the Daiyoukai were touching noses and smirking profusely and one lithe ningen woman in particular was fighting hard not to laugh out right at the situation. The first time ever in her life, she felt no embarrassment.

Once again, InuYasha’s voice rang out, “SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK?”

Hope you enjoyed my first oneshot. If I get enough reviews, I'll consider doing a oneshot series of this. ;)