Nexus by naqaashi

Lonely Resolve

Disclaimer : I don't own the InuYasha franchise, and have no desire to profit from it, or from my work here in any material way.

I'd just like to mention that while 11 chapters of this story have already been posted on Fanfiction.net a long while back, I'd like you guys to discount them and read the story here, because I'm dong some major renovation, and even minor edits will grow to have a lot of significance in later chapters. You've been warned!

[u]Chapter 1[/u]

[u]Lonely Resolve[/u]

The moon rose, bringing with it the silent cover of the dark, broken only by the soft music of the wind in the trees. The soft light falling on the forest came from the ethereal shimmering of the bejeweled expanse of the heavens.

The young miko stopped in her tracks, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she beheld the beauty above her. Some harmless creature of the night shot by her feet, startling her out of her star-gazing, reminding her that she needed to set up camp for the night. Stepping off the well-worn forest trail, she soon found a suitable clearing, dropped her provisions on the ground and made a fire. Usually she would take the help of her magic to disguise the smoke and ensure no light escaped the clearing, but that night, she decided not to bother. After all, the forest through which she was passing was relatively safe, surrounded as it was on nearly all sides by villages. Probably that was the reason she could sense no youkai in the vicinity.

Leaving her pack behind, she journeyed the short distance to the nearby hot spring to cleanse her body of all the dirt and dust it had accumulated in the course of the day. Undressing quickly, she slipped into it, the heated liquid pulling all the tension from her frame. Exhaling deeply, she leaned back, her body was relaxed, but her mind was far from it.

She clenched her eyes shut, trying, once more to drive away the images that popped repeatedly into her head. This she could do, but the pain and the despair that came with them refused to be banished so easily. She had long ago given up fighting those feelings, knowing she could not win, and losing would simply make her feel worse.

So she chose the easier path, the path of cowards.

She surrendered.

Kami, she never knew she was so weak, so utterly worthless.

How she wished she could hate them! But the luxury of jealousy was not to be hers, seeing as they were not the ones lacking.

For that matter, neither was she.

But she, unlike them, as had been made so clear, was replaceable.

She should have seen it coming, really. But she didn't.

So she did what any self-respecting, if battered, feminist from the future would do - she left.

She left because it was the only way for her to heal, to rebuild the once strong foundations of her being, which were now crumbling, falling in on themselves through years of abuse. It was the only way for her to fill the void inside her soul, the only way to mend the shattered pieces of her heart, not unlike the shards of the jewel it was her reluctant duty to patch-up.

Quite the list of 'things-to-do', but she was determined not to fail.

She had always been a fighter, and a highly competitive one at that, even if doubt and loneliness was beginning to wear down the edges of her resolve.

But as the saying goes, no gain without pain, and if accomplishing all this meant she had to leave everything she had known and loved till she succeeded in her mission, then so be it.

Shaking her head to clear it, she figured if she soaked any more she was going to be nothing but wrinkles. After removing the knots from her shoulders and feet, she dried off, dressed and returned to her temporary camp. After eating, she pulled out her sleeping-bag and curled into it, praying, as she did each night, that tonight her dreams would not be plagued by the conflicts of her past.

A/N : Reviews make my day, and criticism is given the red carpet.