The Dirty Dinner by cakeiton

Chapter 1

I don't own anything Inuyasha or Sir Mix-a-Lot.

Reposting story back on Dokuga.

...

An incoming call lit up the small device as it vibrated wildly against the tile of the counter. When it was ignored after the first round. The ring emitted was a personal favorite of the owner.

I LIKE… BIG… Butts and I cannot lie, You otha brothas can't deny! When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, and a round thing in your face you get...

"Hello?" Miroku smirked when he answered, the sounds of his kitchen rumbling in the background.

"Hey, Miroku, it's me" a young, gruff voice replyed. "Listen, something kinda came up…"

"Ah, Inuyasha, you are not able to join us tonight? I know a certain quiet raven-haired beauty that will miss your presence."

The violet eyed host was practiced enough in his gentle mannerisms to get others to do his bidding, so when Inuyasha paused, Miroku knew he had the hanyou in his control. "… Kikyo will be there?"

Miroku' smile widened. "Why, Kagome-sama and her dearest sister decided to extend the invitation to their cousin for you."

"… Damn, alright I'll be there, but can I bring someone with me?"

"How uncouth, Inuyasha," he scolded, trying to keep his ridiculous grin out of his tone, "flaunting another woman in front of Kikyo. Though… if you can get them to cooperate together…"

"Not like that, you hentai! My brother is in town."

Miroku paused, stopping his ministrations on the sauce simmering slowly in preparations for the dinner he had planned for weeks. "The one you lovingly call 'Frigid Furball'?"

"Yeup, that's him."

There was only silence.

"He won't cause problems, I swear," Inuyasha promised. "If anything, he'll stay completely out of the way."

Miroku sounded genuinely concerned. "You don't think he'd get… offended?"

"Keh, the bastard has NO sense of humor, but I don't think whatever you had planned can affect him."

Miroku looked around to the assortment of preparations chosen especially TO affect people with their sexual innuendos. When he gave no protest, Inuyasha chose to hear what he wanted. "Great! Thanks, we'll be there after I pick him up."

The phone went dead as his silver-haired hanyou friend hung up his end. Miroku desired a truly interesting evening, and it looks like he was going to get more than he bargained for…