I really like the plot you have going, but you really need to stop recapping every single thing that happens. It makes the story boring. You are going into TOO MUCH deatail about the little things and then RESTATING what you've alread said. No offense but people get disinterested and frusterated with that kind of writing. You also need to consider your wording more...this sentence for example "A torch lit and Kagome turned and saw Naraku’s outline. She drew an arrow and shot it, but missed him." Would make a lot more sense if you took out the excess "and"s and reworded it. "A torch lit, Kagome turned, spotting Naraku. She shot an arrow at him, but it did not reach the target."

wow i love it is sooo good i saved it on my drive