A Time Before Tears by whirleeq

Numbing the pain

Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence. - Vincent Van Gogh

She stood within Inuyasha's forest, among her fallen friends and comrades, and felt almost numb from the tightness inside of her. Yet, she had a battle left to fight, and could not afford to succumb to her grief. She did not care at the moment if her own life was forfeit in the process, but she must try - try with all that she was to somehow retrieve the Shikon, or all hope was lost. Her body was covered with the blood and gore of her friends; still she forced herself forward, determined to finish this and make him pay somehow. Her heart thundered inside of her chest, as each step she took toward the insane youkai who had caused such devastation and destruction, seemed to last a million years. She passed the two brothers with the silver hair, both of them covered in blood -- one her best friend, and the other her lover -- and had to choke back a sob. She could not falter. A weak hand reached out and grabbed her ankle, and she turned her gaze downward as she pulled in a breath, and dared to hope for just a moment. As a pair of amber eyes met her own, a wash of relief fell over her which was quickly followed by fear as the look that she received was filled with determination.

"NO," she cried at the top of her lungs. Her lover sprung to his feet as if he was not mortally injured, forcing her behind him. Tearing his gaze from hers, he charged Naraku, eyes bleeding red with rage.

"KAGOME! RUN!"

She heard his desperate scream, and yet she could not force her feet to move, knowing that even for him, charging the now full demon Naraku while he still held the Shikon No Tama was suicide; especially with the injuries he had already sustained. He shot her one last, desperate, pleading glance, but she could not move and could only stare, transfixed, as he lunged for Naraku's neck with his claws bared and his eyes bleeding to red.

Naraku, was standing aside all the carnage he had caused, a malevolent smile upon his face as his eyes followed Kagome's approach. She knew he was not seeing her, but the dead miko, as his eyes were burning with a lust that made her blood run cold. His lascivious study of her caused him to be distracted when a blur of white light streaked with red slammed into him with a force he would not have believed possible. The Shikon No Tama flew into the air, and Kagome ran toward it, called for it with her entire being, even as Naraku regained his senses, and tore right into the chest of his advisory, pulling out the bleeding heart of her beloved.

Kagome was reaching for the Shikon which was falling just out of her reach. For a moment she felt that the jewel would shatter on the ground, when a gust of wind suddenly carried the jewel the extra few feet it needed to fall within her grasp. As she deftly caught the Shikon in her hands, she met the gaze of the red eyed demoness behind Naraku, floating on her ever-present feather boat. Kagura shot her a look of fear and hope, and an understanding passed between the miko and the demoness in that one moment when their eyes met.

A soft gurgling sound filled the air, wrenching her attention away from Kagura and causing her stomach to tighten and her body to perspire as a cold fear penetrated her heart. She forced herself to look toward her lover, his intense gaze upon her fading as the last of his life force left his bleeding and battered body,

"Kagome... Aishiteru ..." were the words that fell from his lips as a trickle of blood escaped his mouth and marred that which was to her, perfection.

"NO!" she screamed, and fell to her knees as Naraku let her mates body fall to the ground with a sickening thud, his gaze back on her and his intent clear in his eyes.

"You are mine, miko. You have always been, in both this life and your last. I will cleanse you of the repulsive scent of that dog and mark you as mine, for eternity."

He started toward her when he noticed the Shikon grasped firmly within her hands.

"Give that to me, miko," he said, dangerously, as his eyes narrowed.

"ROT IN HELL," she screamed in her rage, as she wished for Naraku's death upon the jewel she now held.

The tainted Shikon flashed for a moment, and she raised her eyes with hope, only to see Naraku looking back at her, very much alive, and with a cruel smile upon his face.

"Stupid bitch," he growled. "You think I do not possess the wisdom to word my wish so I would be invulnerable to that piece of glass you are holding? Your naivety continues to astound me, miko," Naraku said, his voice dripping with malice. "Now, come to me, and bring to me what is MINE."

She felt like a trapped animal; she did not know what to do. A voice inside of her screamed for her to stall, to get him of his guard so she could purify the jewel. She could hear her own heart pounding ferociously inside of her chest. Having no other plan, she listened to her inner voice and let her gaze fall downward and her shoulders droop in defeat, as she hid the Shikon behind her back and focused her entire being on casting out the evil which had tainted it.

Naraku approached her, his eyes gleaming with victory at her surrender. He reached for her and pulled her body flush against him. She could feel his arousal against her and she repressed the urge to retch. 'Just a few more moments...' she thought to herself.

She did not fight him when he brutally crushed his lips against her, and bit down on her lower lip, drawing blood as he forced her mouth to accept his tongue. In his lust filled haze, he did not immediately retrieve the Shikon from her, but she knew that she did not have long before he would regain control over himself and take it from her. She fought against her revulsion, and returned his kiss, if only to distract him for a moment more. Even now, she could feel the last of the jewel's taint leaving it.

Naraku let out a feral growl as his senses began to return to him, and he felt a surge of anger toward the miko who thought to play him. He pushed back from her, and swiped at her face with his claws, and watched as three streaks of blood appeared on the right side of her face.

"BITCH. I will not be played a fool. Give me the Shikon, now, or you WILL join your foolish friends in death... After I have had you of course..."

Kagome felt the stinging pain of the slashes upon her face, but paid it no mind as she pulled the purified Shikon No Tama from behind her back as she silently made her wish.

"Naraku, you evil bastard, you want the Jewel? Fine. TAKE IT." she said, shaking with rage, as she threw the purified jewel straight toward him.

For a moment Naraku's eyes glimmered victoriously, until he caught the Shikon. The Jewel, once in Naraku's grasp, started absorbing the youkai within itself. He screamed, as he realized what was happening, trying desperately and without success to resist it, until his entire being was sucked into the jewel, and the jewel itself fell to the ground, it's color having changed from a light pink to an obsidian black.

Kagome couldn't wish upon the jewel for his death, as he had protected himself against that. But she could wish for the Shikon to entrap him; keeping him from causing anymore harm and devastation. And as she was the keeper of the Shikon No Tama, she would ensure that he never, ever escaped. Kagome immediately reached for the jewel. She grabbed the Shikon, and with the last of her strength attempted to purify the jewel once again, but found that she could not.

Fatigue was quickly overcoming her, and she knew she had to do something to protect the jewel and fast, before her body gave out. She tensed, and brought the jewel up to where Naraku had scraped her, and stifled a scream as the jewel was once again absorbed within her body. Not willing to consider the potential consequences of her actions at the moment, she dragged herself over to the body of her mate and stared upon his face, the tears steadily falling from her eyes. She wiped the blood off of his lips, and placed a soft kiss upon them, as she had so many times before. Her hearts was broken in pieces and she wanted to die, as she looked upon his face for what would be the last time. 'Even in death, he looks like an angel,' was the last thought she had, before her body gave out on her; the overwhelming grief and fatigue she felt causing her to lose consciousness, her dark hair falling in a cloud around her head as she collapsed next to him.

~~+~~~+~~

"Kagome."

A soft hand was pressing against her shoulder. She groaned, unwilling to wake; hoping that it was all a nightmare, but knowing in her heart that it wasn't.

"She felt herself being gently lifted, and her eyes flew open, meeting the gaze of Kouga; his eyes full of sadness and concern."

"Kouga... NO! PUT ME DOWN! I... I want to stay..." she said softly, the tears falling freely from her eyes. "I can't leave... I have to take care of them... Oh Kami... Inuyasha.... Sango... Miroku... Shippo..." her lips trembled with grief... "Sesshomaru.."

"Nay... Kagome... you need to be away from this," he said, as he started to carry her away from the battle scene and toward Kaede's hut. Kagome saw other members of Kouga's pack approaching, and could barely make out Kouga giving them instructions to tend to the dead, as he held her protectively against his chest. She did not voice any more protests as he carried her, and thought of nothing but him and his last words...."

"Sesshomaru... Aishiteru," she said aloud softly, and allowed the tears to fall freely against Kouga's shoulder, who said nothing, but tightened his grip on her in an attempt to offer some comfort, as he continued his steady pace. The smell of her salty tears was causing him anguish, as he still cared for the miko who he had once desired as a mate. 'If but I could take her pain away," he thought to himself, but knew that her loss had been extreme. Especially since... he inhaled her scent again to be sure, and sighed when his suspicions were confirmed. Kagome was pregnant; and by the very faint change in her scent, very newly so. In fact, he suspected she didn't even know...

~~+~~~+~~

13 years later

It was Yuki's 13th birthday, and her mother had promised to take her to the mall. Yet, they could never pass that stupid tree without her mother getting all wiggy on her. 'It's like she's somewhere else' she thought, looking at her mother, who appeared to be in a trance, lost in her own thoughts. Often, Yuki had asked her what she thought about when she saw the tree, but her mother was never very forthcoming, much to Yuki's constant annoyance. She loved her mother, and respected her, and she even understood that there was pain in her mother's past that she did not wish to discuss with her, but come on! It was her birthday, for crying out loud, and she wanted to go to the mall!

Yuki so didn't need this today. Especially since she had a good idea that her mother was thinking about Mr. Sperm Donor.

She waited patiently, occasionally glancing at her mother, wanting to leave. She was about to tell her to snap out of it when she noticed that her mother's eyes were suspiciously wet.

"Okaasan?"

Yuki looked toward her mother with some concern, as the two of them stood under the sacred tree.

"Aie... I'm okay, Yuki. I was just thinking about some people I once knew..."

Yuki just raised one of her eyebrows in an all too familiar way that tugged on her mother's heart and looked at her, her face devoid of emotion. Still, the concern was present in her voice and in her eyes, and Kagome had to hold her breath because for a moment, she looked entirely too much like her father.

Kagome studied her daughter, and smiled softy. Her daughter was in the first awkward phase of becoming a woman, and quite a tomboy; yet there was the underlying promise of the beauty she would become. Her silver hair was cropped short up to her chin, and was all of one length, except for the long bangs that covered her brows and almost obscured her vision. Kagome sighed. She had long fought with her daughter to cut her bangs, but her daughter was stubborn and insistent. Almost out of habit, her hand shot out and brushed the hair out of her daughter's eyes, her fingers tracing the crescent moon upon her forehead. "I wish you wouldn't hide this, Yuki..." she said, wistfully.

"Yeah, whatever. Like I really need to be seen as more of a freak," Yuki answered her mom while rolling her eyes. Really. Does her mom even know what it's like to be a teenager?

Yuki, not for the first time, silently cursed her father's genes -- whoever he was. The only thing she had in common with her mother was her dark blue eyes, and that was a shame, because Yuki considered her mother to be one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen, and she wished she looked more like her. Instead, Yuki was cursed -- she was the tallest girl in her class, for one. Almost taller than most of the boys. And her hair -- eek. How many times had she wanted to dye it black, but her mother wouldn't let her.

Yuki's hair was almost as white as snow, and she had to cut it almost every day to keep it at the length she wanted it to be. To top it all off, her ears were slightly pointed, and she had that damned birthmark on her forehead. She hated that most of all.

Her father must have been some kind of albino circus freak. Of course, she would never know because her mom never wanted to talk about it, she thought to herself with no small amount of resentment.

She noticed that her mother was looking at her suspiciously.

"What are you thinking about, Yuki?"

"Nothing. Can we go already?"

Kagome sighed. Her daughter was so stubborn and so closed up. More and more she reminded her of her uncle.

"Fine. We'll take the car. I don't feel like dealing with public transportation today."

~~*~~~*~~

Despite it all, Yuki actually had a good day. Her mother actually allowed her to get her ears pierced - something she had been begging her to allow her to do for, like, ever - and she had her nails done. That had been interesting. The manicurist practically insisted that her nails were acrylic, and when she realized that Yuki was telling the truth - they were, in fact, her own - she had called all her co-workers over to gawk at Yuki's hands and asked her about six million questions on what she used to strengthen her nails so, while her mother paced behind her nervously. Still, it was worth the aggravation, as Yuki's nails were now painted black with silver crescent moons on them. Kinda cool, actually, and Yuki rather admired them.

Her mother then treated her to lunch, and then bought her the best present of all -- a black leather coat, which fell just above her ankles. So like Trinity from the Matrix; Yuki couldn't help but smile to herself.

Gods, how she just wanted to look cool, and not like a freak of nature.

~~*~~~*~~

Kagome was glad that her daughter had a good day. Yuki needed it. Her daughter was so unsure of herself. If she could only tell her about her father.. but at this point in her life, she wouldn't accept it, nor believe her. In fact, her mouthy daughter would quite probably have her committed, Kagome thought with a grin. She glanced over to her daughter, and saw that she was sleeping; the dark blue of the seat belt laying across her shoulder as Yuki lay with her head against the window. How she could be comfortable, she did not know, but apparently she was.

Kami, she was perfect - so much of her father.

She remembered how much she feared that Yuki would show more hanyou traits when she was born, and how relieved she was when she realized that she could pass for human. Kagome thought she was quite beautiful, despite what Yuki might think of herself. Still, at times, she reminded her so much of Sesshomaru she had to swallow her grief. Thirteen years later, and she still couldn't get the image of his death out of her head at night as she slept...

"Kagome... Aishiteru ..."

He told her he loved her... and he died.

She looked upon her sleeping daughter once more... Yuki was Kagome's saving grace. She was all set to take her own life when Kouga and Kaede told her that she was pregnant.. and after all the pain and loss, she knew that she could not raise her child during that time. No. She came home. She did her mourning here, and often under the sacred tree. The tree where her friends and her mate had been buried half an eon ago.

All of a sudden Kagome felt a severe burning in her head. A migraine of such strength she had never felt before was rapidly spreading outwards from her temples, causing her whole head to flare in a shooting pain. She blinked her eyes, and tried to focus on getting her car over to the side of the road, but the pain came on so fast and so quick that she removed her hands from the wheel momentarily to grasp her forehead. She squinted and could barely make out the lights of the other car coming straight toward her own until it was too late.

She screamed right before the impact, and was jolted face first into the windshield; upon impact cracking her skull, and shattering a jewel that was embedded in her face 13 years before.

~~tbc

Aishiteru - I love you

Okaasan - mother

A/N: This is my first Inuyasha fic, and if anyone would be interested in beta-ing this fic, please let me know :)