Frog Princess by Death Sinatra

Chapter One

Inspiration : Jungiery Idol Dramas. Can't help but love them! Got most ideas from an upcoming drama: Prince Turned Frog (directly translated). I just watched the preview commercials, so no sueing there, I've gave the disclaimer for it anyway.

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'Shall royalty taste her lips, he shall be transformed into her kind - a frog.' Croak! Who would be so stupid as to take dirt poor and grumpy Higurashi Kagome as their bride?!

It was pure white, silk, and most of all, it was...

Thirty thousand yen.

Kagome's eyes bugged out. NO!

It wasn't like she was getting married or anything, but the dress was just so absolutely beautiful! There was no resisting it, no sir!

But. THIRTY-THOUSAND YEN!? Impossible! She didn't have that sort of money, and the store was so most likely to run out in a month or so! By the time she had earned that money on her own, she would be like... Thirty, and the gown would be replaced by prettier and silkier ones that would cost MUCH more. Something like sixty-thousand or something. Then that'd probably take her another ten years, and the whole process would just repeat once again in a never-ending cycle until she's dead! And even then, NO GOWN!

I hate being poor!

And that was how she found herself holding a hammer over her blue-and-gray piggy-bank the next morning, which went crash just a few moments later.

Her hair was messily done into a bun on the top of her head. At least it had been a bit straighter before she went to bed...

She felt like tearing the tresses out when she laid her eyes on the contents of her dead piggy bank.

"Two hundred and twenty one yen?! I'm going to die on the streets!" Why, that was barely enough for a decent breakfast! The fridge would be empty soon if she didn't get any more groceries!

Just one chocolate sandwich and bottle of milk for me.

That was a sad thought. And she hated milk, as much as she hated to ask her parents for money.

"And I thought I was supposed to be the one who sends money to them. Maybe moving out wasn't such a good idea, after all?"

Shaking her head clear of depressing thoughts -As if I'm not depressed enough! I WANT MY GOWN!- she stood straight and began to pace around her sun-bathed room. Too bad it was so small.

"I need money..." She whispered to herself, her brows furrowed. "But how? I obviously can't get yet another job. Car repair is more than enough for me..."

She glanced up at the ceiling, at the light bulb that lay restless above her, begging for something, anything to light up.

Then it did.

"I know!" She exclaimed suddenly, her eyes taking on a devious glint. "I'll marry a rich guy! Yes!"

She felt her vision swirl as sleep threatened to take her. Maybe this isn't worth it...? She should just have asked her parents for the money, or... or take the open job at 7-11!

But... I guess it's too late to turn back now...

Her eyes sprung open when something hard came in contact with her skull. Her hands sprung to her head just as fast.

"Ouch! Grandpa! What was that for?"

"For not paying attention to your elders! Now, what was I saying?" Her grandfather fingered his chin, his eyes upturned. He looked thoughtful... But then again, looks could be deceiving.

"Ah yes!

"Just put this around your neck, and it will help you find your 'rich guy,' as you've put it. The other one you have there, you can do anything with. Whoever finds it is supposed to be your soul mate, I think. Now, run along, and visit again soon!"

Her grandfather ushered her out of the room, and she sighed against the walls. He was just so loving.

"So," she murmured as she held up the two chained necklaces, each resembling one half of the moon, "you're supposed to help me find my man?"

Her runners made no sound as she strode through the crowds, trying to find her way through the crowd. The sharp tip of the half-moon would scratch against her chest once every few minutes, and she winced whenever it did.

Damn Grandpa. She thought angrily, Just had to give me the sharp one, didn't he?

She squinted her eyes under the sun. There was something very, very shiny up ahead. It glinted every so often. That was unusual...

Then a sudden thought hit her. Maybe it was her rich guy?! He would be riding in his black limo, which would be so shiny that it reflected the sunlight. But no! That would be way too soon! And she wasn't even dressed properly!

Every hopeful thought was put to an end when two men carrying a rectangular block of glass -most likely to replace a window- made their way through the crowd. Kagome found her heart drop.

"Dammit. Thanks for setting off my nerves," she mumbled somewhat incoherently to the unsuspecting workers, "thanks a lot."

Angered, she kept her head down and made her way by the workers, unaware of the fast growing crowd until a flash went off. She blinked and looked up.

There were cameras everywhere! What the hell was going on?! And everyone seemed to be trying to catch sight of something -or someone- beside her, on the other side of the glass.

She didn't have time for this right now! She walked away quickly, not noticing until it was too late.

Someone ran into her, and she yelped as she was nearly pushed onto the pavement.

"Watch where you're going!" She yelled at the young man who had ran her over, but he paid no attention to her, just continue to take his pictures. She huffed and turned. "Damn. People are just so rude these days!"

Kagome was never a bright one, therefore she didn't even notice that the other piece of the necklace -not the one she already had around her neck.- had been flipped out of her pockets when the young reporter bumped into her.

His eyes narrowed slightly as sputtering noises came from ahead, most likely from the engine. Someone was going to get fired.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken called as he maneuvered himself through the small crack of the door. His lord had told him not to let any more sun in the limo than necessary. "The engine is burned! We cannot keep going!"

His expression did not change. He merely sent his driver a look that made the small man shiver as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over his head.

"What is the damage." It wasn't a question at all.

"The engine is unable to continue, and all electronic devices are unavailable as well." Jaken was still shaking. At least he didn't stutter this time.

"Call for another ride. Immediately." He waved Jaken off. "We shall meet them near the Sunshine streets sign a few blocks from here."

Jaken immediately bowed, and once again squeezed through the door to file out his task.

Sesshoumaru allowed himself to slump ever so little when he was sure he was the only one left inside.

Idiots. They're all idiots. He pondered over nothing until Jaken popped his ugly head inside. He immediately straightened himself.

"My lord, the call has been made."

"We shall be off then. Get my things ready."

And Jaken went tumbling back out again.

He sighed.

It was so hot! But the crowd. That irksome crowd, was way worst.

"Mister Tashima! May we have an audience with you?"

Hmph. As if.

"Oh my god! He's even hotter in person than in magazine!"

He felt a small curl of his lips. And you do well to remember that.

"I heard he's gay. He sure looks it."

How dare that little-

He never did finish his thought, for his attention adverted to the ground ahead, where he could've sworn that he'd seen something flicker briefly. When he finally caught sight of it once again, he bent down slightly to take ahold of the half-moon chain necklace. No one saw the display, as a block of window glass shielded him from the view of his pursuers, and Jaken was busy trying to hold back the crowd that was coming from behind.

Hm. He thought. Inuyasha just may like this. That way I wouldn't have to waste my time getting him a gift.

What a coincidence! Inuyasha's birthday was coming up and their father had demanded he get a gift for his brother- er, half-brother. He was just on his way to pick up something for him too!

He felt like smiling, but of course, being the forever-stubborn-and-stoic man he was, refrained. He would only regret it later anyway, if anyone got a shot at him.

Without haste, he grabbed ahold of Jaken's uniform and pulled his little servant-slash-driver away from the mob. Sesshoumaru could almost hear the small man give a hail to the gods.

"Call the car-repair company. One of the transportation I had sent in for checkup two days ago had just broken down in the middle of the road."

The maid hastily bowed and stumbled towards the hallway to use the phone, leaving Sesshoumaru to sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration. He could feel the migraine catching up to him.

He was just about to close his eyes and allow himself a rest when a timid knock on the door resounded throughout his room.

"Enter." He somewhat growled, and the petrified form of the made from earlier inched opened the door, slipping through silently.

"S-Sir! The company in-informed me that yo-you'd h-have to come in for t-the refund to be va-valid." Great. She was stuttering.

"What?!" The maid yelped and dashed out the door, never had she seen her lord lose his patience like this!

Sesshoumaru left his office to sit on the bed of his master-bedroom, the silk covers tickled his bare arms.

"How dare they." He muttered under his breath. He never was one to sue. That'd be wasting money and time. I guess I'll just have to pay a little visit to M-bers.

"OH NO!!! Where is it?!" Kagome dove through a second pile of junk after she went through the same act with the crap in her bag.

After some time, she finally slumped to the cold tiles, obviously defeated.

"And I didn't even get to dump it somewhere safe!" She groaned miserably, "what if someone other than 'rich' got it?! What if a hobo caught it? I DON'T WANT TO MARRY A HOBO GOD DAMMIT!"

She continued to whine on the floor for a good millisecond before a loud bang from upstairs shook her back from her trip to la-la land.

"SHUT IT WOMAN BEFORE I REPORT YOU OR BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!"

Kagome's mouth fell shut with an audible click. She had no doubt that the man upstairs would follow through with his threat. She'd seen him, and heard from the old woman next door that he had a gun stored somewhere in his room. She'd also heard the story of the wailing baby that went missing after a week of living in the building.

She shuddered involuntarily and decided to mourn over her love-life in silence. The homeless were so not her type, and she did not look forward to becoming one of them.

It was so quiet. So damned quiet, that she was enjoying it. Then, the phone was ringing. That god-damned phone! How dare it disrupt her moment of silence?!

Kagome groaned, but sat up anyway, although a bit reluctantly. She did sit up, though.

"What do you want?" She growled into the phone. Someone was going to get their ass kicked. At least she thought so.

"Is there a Miss Higurashi there?" That sounded familiar, and professional. Who was it? "This is from M-bers Mechanics" Oh yeah, that god-damned place she worked at.

"Um. Yeah. I am she. Is there something wrong?" She felt like biting her nails, but she couldn't very well do that, so she bit her lips instead.

"Oh no," the woman on the other side -Mataka Abi- assured. Kagome sighed in relief. She had thought she'd gotten in trouble! Or even worst. Fired.

"Don't worry about that."

Kagome had forgotten she was still on the phone. She scrambled and actually listened this time. "What is it then?"

"We'll have to ask you to come in tomorrow, Miss Higurashi. Apparently, a car your group had seen to recently have just broken down in the middle of the road. The owner demanded a refund, or a more... Professional repair."

Kagome's eyes widened, and she nearly choked before managing to get her nerves together before replying. "Em, M-okay... I'll be down tomorrow..."

"Thank you Miss Higurashi. And sorry for interrupting you. Good day." Then she hung up, at the exact same time Kagome slumped down, further into her chair.

"Oh dear god..." She whispered. "What could be wrong? I hope we don't get sued!" She felt like crying. But frogs couldn't cry. Especially not a princess like she was!

"Ribbit," She grumbled miserably. "Ribbiiit!" Her throat was beginning to hurt.

"And the Princess Hitome continued to croak, desperately trying to get the Prince Kenta to help her get back to her original self. 'If only he would understand what I'm saying!' she thought."

And that was supposed to be narrating?! I could have done better. Those were her real thoughts.

"The prince was frightened, that the frog was seemingly trying to talk to him. But then suddenly remembered a story that was told to him by his grandmother long ago. The story of the Frog Prince."

"Maybe this is like the story..." Kohaku muttered under his breath. Damn! But he was such a good actor! "Except that this time it's the princess who has been turned into a frog. If I could just..."

"Hesitantly, Kenta picked up the frog and gave it a kiss on her slick, grimy lips."

"There!" Kohaku exclaimed after he delivered to her the swift peck on the cheeks.

"One minute past, and then two. Kenta waited and waited for the frog to transform, but to no avail. The frog remained a frog, and Kenta turned from hopeful to furious."

"How dare it trick me!" Kohaku pretended to pick her up, and gave her a glare. "I shall take you back to the castle..."

"And so Prince Kenta took Princess Hitome back to the castle, and handed her to the cook."

"Boil her in water!"

"And cooked, she was. But as Kenta devoured the now dead frog, he did not know that it was not one, but two kisses needed to bring the Frog Princess back.

"Princess Hitome was never found."

Kagome, dressed in a frog suit and hidden in backstage, shuddered a bit at the terrible ending. One graders weren't supposed to be that evil!

Author's Notes:

I'm proud. Yes I am. I've never attempted at humor before, so I have no idea how I did. Everything I've written has always been tragedy or angst. Don't rate, please. Reviews are so much better.