Forbidden by dark_soul

Remembering

Forbidden

I remember everything... I remember what they did to me. How could I not remember? Did they not know that what they did to me hurt every single one of me? Yes I said me, because after there betrayal I had been splits in half, I was no longer the young carefree child I had once been, no I had learned in a hard way to never trust no one in anything... always depending on me, myself and I. No one lived an other day after they would encounter me... no one. I had become cold, distant and emotionless. Much like the taiyoukai of the west, except I did not have a family, I did not have a name, and most of all I had nothing left to live for. I had at one time tried to end my life. But no I would not, I had made it clear to myself to never get effected by a mere thought that had once occurred. No. And that had been the end of trying to commit suicide. And although I did not have anything left to live for, I did have one thing... a distant and painful memory of the once so-called friends and family that I had once known a long time ago. My hate of course was the only thing I could call my own for the rest I did not feel anything, I felt as if I had become numb...

After I had come to terms that no one was going to hurt me as they did, I had become a fearless warrior of heaven and hell. The two opposites what I was and always would be. An outcast angel, a disgrace to everyone who once knew me. I for one still harbored the one thing that I myself could not understand. The one emotion I did not desire, yet I had. The emotion to protect. But how could that be? I was alone in this damn world with no one to protect, so how? No one would ever know. For one has to search to find. And I had found it. I found out that even after everyone had betrayed me... I still protected the people who needed my help in one way or another, and in return they would either beat me up or show gratitude, truth was I did not want anything in return. For look at me now, it had led me to this state for asking the one thing that I would never be able to feel. Love. A simple word it was. Yet doing it was far more complicated. I had once thought that I knew what love was all about, but that thought had been quickly shattered after they found out what I was. For every new moon cycle I would not be able to contain my spell that I had cast it over myself and would turn into the forbidden angel that was neither good nor evil. All in all I would always be an outcast for this world, even if I would save everyone I would always be nothing more but a lonely shadow that protected the weak from the strong. It was a pathetic philosophy on my part, but then again who would even look upon me? No one. And for that I did what I did. Wander the lands over and over again. I myself could not remember how much time I would be walking without an end, yet I did know how many years had gone by. To be precise it had been three years with the one thing that I was trying to find. What was my soul purpose in life? Nothing was I would every time receive. I mean who would want to look upon such a creature? No one right? Nothing would always be the answer of the wind. Oh yes nothing at all. I was and would always be forbidden. That was the only thing that I was certain about. Then there was of course the one question that puzzled me every single day that went by. Why had I become the protector of the Shikon no Tama? I was nothing, Kikyou was suppose to be the protector not a lowly being as myself, so why? Once again I would only get the gentle breeze of the wind that seemed to be the only companion throughout my life. If I even had the right to call it my life. Yes, I had changed very much since that faithful day that would unknown to me change me to where I was now...

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