Continuum by Arcadia

Prelude

Divorce was not a word to be spoken with a smile. Divorce usually entailed graphic fights and cruel words; it brought on bouts of sadness, anger, regret, and depression. It was an evil, evil thing that Kagome had experienced in her own home as a child. And now, she thought, settling herself in the hard wooden chair of her attorney's office, as an adult. This would be the third time she'd gone through such an ordeal, and frankly – under the hurt, the regret, the depression, the tears, the anger and the why again? Why am I so horrible? – it was getting boring. Monotonous, really. Kagome shifted against the polished oak, felt her shoulder blade catch uncomfortably on the back of the chair. Her lawyer, mistaking the wince for being caused by her future ex-husband's demands, gave her a sympathetic look and patted her hand comfortingly. Kagome glanced over at him, her eyes peculiarly dark.

The lawyer her husband had hired gladly listed off her client's demands, the glee in her eyes only covered by her glasses. Sighing, Kagome held up her hand, too tired to sit through the process. "I do not require any of Inuyasha's possessions." The lawyer stuttered to a stop, blinking owlishly. Inuyasha, sitting across from her, sitting intriguingly close to his attorney, looked surprised. Then angry. His eyes, eyes that usually held an icy aspect when looking at Kagome, were now hot.

He wants a fight, Kagome thought sadly. She stood before he could speak and looked at each the representing attorney's in turn. "I will not take the matter to court. My husband," she paused, "my ex-husband, has over-estimated things. He may have what he wants of our possessions and I will not ask for any of his money. All I want is the apartment in downtown Tokyo."

The warm air of Santa Ana was a welcome difference from the oppressive silence she'd been submerged in minutes ago, and the blanket of sunshine that hit her as she exited the lobby doors melted away the cold feeling that had settled in her stomach at Inuyasha's unfeeling glares. She stepped away from the heavy glass entrance and walked to the end of the block, stopping to lean against a light post. A smile lifted her lips, though the distinct lack of happiness made it appear far from carefree. "I don't know what you're smiling about. This was one of the biggest mistakes you've made yet," Inuyasha said sourly from behind her. Kagome sighed and pushed off the pole, running a shaky hand through her hair.

"It wasn't just my decision. You played a big part in pushing along our divorce." She replied steadily.

He stepped in front of her, close enough to tower over her. "What the hell is your problem? Making me look like an idiot in there."

Again she sighed, stepping away from him, determined not to let him drag her down any further then what he'd already managed. Her self-esteem had been placed at an all-time low during the last few months of their marriage; recently she'd just begun recovering. And now he still wants to control everything about me, she looked up into his resolute eyes jadedly. "Inuyasha-"

His hand found its way onto her shoulder, squeezing irately, "You just had to be the independent one, didn't you? Couldn't accept anything from me." As the rest of his speech played out Kagome felt the last ties of their marriage – of any sort of emotional ties they once shared – tumble away, cut through with a blade as sharp as the words falling from her ex-husband's mouth.

"Inuyasha, you're hurting me."

His mouth closed, the corners tightening and turning down. His hand bit into her flesh once more before he drug it away and back to his side. "Kagome," her name was suddenly acid on his lips, and anger coiled deep inside her, hidden behind the dismal shades of her eyes.

He got ready to say something else, but she walked calmly away, pretending she didn't hear the click of Inuyasha's attorney's heels as she approached him. Pretended she didn't hear him call her name once more, pretended she didn't notice the familiar way they (Inuyasha and his lawyer... Kikyou, was it?) addressed one another.

She shook her head at her thoughts and climbed into her car, grabbing the seat belt, without regard to the burning steel. She glanced up into her rearview mirror, sliding the key into the ignition, but froze as she saw Inuyasha's pretty, heel-wearing lawyer toss her arms around his broad shoulders and rest her lips against his smooth cheek. Stunned for a moment how alike Kagome herself would've looked in the same position she almost didn't hear the last snip-snip-snips of the blade between her and her ex-husband.

Later, as she sat in her hotel room, Kagome realized she had no real plans. Usually at this point she'd shake it off, gather her things, maybe move to a new town. But now... something was off. Wrapping her hands around the disposable cup of cheap coffee she'd picked up, Kagome settled herself in the middle of the full-size bed provided, her wet hair pulled over her right shoulder, soaking the white terry material of her robe. Her brow wrinkled as she blew on the liquid absently, the television's inane ramblings filling the background quietly.

Kouga – number one on her little chain of blunders – had easily been the hardest to let go, probably because he'd been the first of everything for naïve little Kagome. They'd met in high school (as those sappy love-stories go) and Kouga had been everything she hadn't wanted. He'd been course and rough, bad and prone to detention, he really had no goals and no future plans to speak of, and he was forbidden, damn him. "Stay away from him," her grandfather had warned, wagging his brittle old finger sagely while the dusty broom leaned against the Goshinboku. "Don't go near that boy. He's full of bad karma." In the end she'd resisted for two months, one week, six days, and nine hours. Two years into their constant tryst he came up with a brilliant plan. "Let's run away! Let's travel to America, Kagome-chan. To California or Las Vegas. We'll get married!" Naïve little Kagome had shaken her head (never, never) then jumped onto the back of his motorcycle, grinning as the wind tugged at her hair and blew away the sick feeling she had for leaving her family.

It lasted two more years, then Kagome was done and Kouga had a new favorite schoolgirl.

American high school was much easier then Japanese high school, so she made it into college by her twentieth birthday. Planning to major in something useful like history or architecture, Kagome stubbornly promised not to get distracted. Then the biggest distractions of them all shoved himself into her life, and Kagome's will died. Miroku had been the opposite of Kouga- gentlemanly, intelligent, clean and not at all overly protective. Sure he liked girls a little too much (oh, the understatement!) but he'd explained it to Kagome. "My mother, she died when I was young. My father never cared for my two brothers and I; we never had a family, Kagome... That's where my dream stems from..." Smitten with the poor little angst of the pretty little Chinese boy Kagome'd melted and they got married months after meeting. The major turning point had been when she'd happily introduced her husband to her new best friend, Sango. Things had remained casual enough. Kagome would casually have all of them hang out, they'd casually go to movies or dinners, and Miroku and Sango would casually fuck. Kagome couldn't stay mad at them; after all they had so much in common (Sango the sweet little orphan and Miroku, her pretty little male counterpart), besides, who was she to chose whom they loved? So Miroku and Kagome divorced.

Miroku's mother sent Kagome a small amount of cash afterwards from her beachfront home in California and apologized for her son's chronic lies. His father is the same way, the letter had said, but I still love him as much as he loves the boys! Yes, the little boy was a good liar and an even better distraction.

Miroku's best friend had also offered his condolences, and then his bed. Thus the story of Inuyasha had started.

Kagome took a long sip of her coffee and shut her eyes. All of them had one thing in common; they all left her for a different girl. Actually, they were all Asian too, but that wasn't important. Before, it had always been all their fault. Now though, now she was starting to see things in a different light. She set the cup aside and stood, glancing around the small room. A notepad sitting on the almost empty desk caught her attention, and Kagome's lips curled down in thought. She took a few steps and settled in front of the polished wood on an uncomfortable chair, her small hand wrapping around a pen while distant thoughts bounced around her mind. When divorcing or in the pre-divorcing stages, the men had all listed what they viewed as flaws in Kagome's personality. Her eyes settled on the blank paper with some semblance of resentment and even more dejection as she yanked the cap off the pen.

They always say your constant optimism gets old, she recalled reluctantly. Kagome tapped the desk twice while wondering what the hell am I doing? And, after everything, what was she doing? What was she going to do? She never finished college – after marrying Inuyasha he told her to stop, promised he'd always take care of her.

A light went off in her head, and she put the pen to the paper.

You trust too easily, she wrote. You're too happy all the time, came out next. You're weak emotionally, and physically – a favorite insult of Inuyasha's. You aren't daring enough, Miroku's voice intoned calmly. You're too nice, even to people you don't like, Kouga had told her once. You dress like a nun. You don't have enough confidence. You're a transparent liar. You act dumb, even if you aren't. You have no mystery. You were easy to seduce. Very naïve. Picky. Too emotional. Too forgiving. Overly caring. Annoyingly dependent. Annoying. Bad lover.

The list went on and her confidence waned, but a new purpose and a new goal had been laid in front of her.

Finally, in the middle of the night, she laid down the pen, studying the two sheets of paper she'd managed to fill. Front and back, top to bottom. She leaned back slowly in her seat, drumming the hollow wooden desktop. First, I'll buy a ticket back to Tokyo. Where will you get the money? What will you do when you get back? I have savings accounts. And I'll need to catch up with my family, say I'm sorry... Hope they'll forgive me. Then? I've always loved acting... I've just never been confident enough... daring enough... Determination was nothing new to her, but the sudden surge of things will change made her place a hand to her heart, made her breathe in deeply. Things will change, I won't be second anymore.

Author's Digress: So. This would be my first fanfiction and I'm frightened for a number of reasons. One, no beta. Two, it's unplanned... But I'm good at being sporadic! Go sporadic! Also, Kagome's character and how she acts will drastically change, but she'll essentially be the same woman. Sorry.