Forever Lost? by LiVonne

Chapter One

The cool night air nipped at the young girl that stood at the edge of the balcony. Her face had an eerie calm to it. Though her eyes were deeply troubled. Her tiny pale hands grasped at the railing in front of her. The whole world seemed to hold their breath. Waiting for something unknown to happen.

At long last the hushed planet let its breath out. A lone tear escaped down the porcelain white face like that of a treasured diamond. Slowly, almost hesitantly, the girl wiped it away. Only for another to follow in its place. This time she did not bother with the tear, for soon her eyes released a flood of crystal clear water.

A cold, brisk wind sent a shiver down her spine as her body crumpled to the ground. No longer able to contain her heart-wrenching sobs that violently shook her frail body. Her white knuckled hands still tightly gripped at the rail. She held on though as if she were to let go; she would fall. Fall into a darkness that very few found their way back.

A darkness that did not offer even the warmth of death. A darkness that has broken many a strong man held high over the heads of others. It is an unforgiving, unrelenting, and unforgetting darkness. It knows exactly where to hit where one is weakest. How to make ones life crumble before their eyes. This was the darkness that desperately wanted this girls' beating heart.

'Come on Kagome. Get a grip on yourself. Your friends and family are already worried about you!' Her attempts to stop her crying only caused her to suck in air like a fish. This would have looked comical if it wasn't for the fact that one could see the girls' broken heart in her eyes.

Though what she said was utterly true. Her friends and family were very worried about her. Ever since that night exactly one year ago on this very eve. Kagome had stumble into her home covered in warm, crimson blood. She never talked about what had happen. In fact she barely ever talked since then. Her friends, not knowing about her covered in blood, assumed that she had at long last be dumped by that horrible boyfriend InuYasha. That all she needed was a girl's night on to bring her out of her stupor. They desperately tried to get her to go out with them. They even had tried to hook her up with a guy recently. That was short of, in not, a disaster.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When they had finally, after many hours, gotten Kagome ready (mostly because she just sat there limply through it all), she looked fabulous. In fact a lot of girls were jealous of Kagome for many reasons.

Kagome stood over many girls at her 5'7 height, but her petite frame earned her many a scowls from passing females. Because of her height and her small frame, her legs were long and lean. What one would call model legs? She had full cherry red lips that with a touch of lip gloss any man could not help but wet his lips. Her wavy, shoulder long, raven black hair had a bounced to it that contrasted with her ivory skin that seemed flawless. Due to all her walking/running she had a butt that earned her whistles where ever she went. Not to mention her stormy blue eyes that had intensity in them while still holding innocence as well.

The guy they had tried to hook her up with wasn't a bad looking dude, and he had a crush on Kagome for a very long time. But when Kagome saw the man named Hojo, she started weeping and darted away. She was missing for a whole week before her brother, Souta, found her. She was curled up in tight little ball at the bottom of the well when he had found her.

Filthy, cracked, and broken were her nails. A deep whole seeming to be dug out by small hands, such as hers, lay beside Kagome. Dirt and tears caked her face. Her eyes were blood-shot and very puffy. Indeed a sad sight to bear. She seemed to be in a dream state. For when she saw Souta a smile, if it could be called that, fell on her lips and a name passed though those lips that was not her brothers' name.

"Shippo! Oh! My baby! I knew it wasn't true! I knew it, I knew it, I just knew it. My baby, my little baby boy." She climbed out of the well and held swung her arms around the figures neck. "Shipp...o" She fell into his arms passed out. "Oh sis...." A tear now fell down her brothers' face as he looked down at his broken sister. Once more carrying the girl to her room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~End Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kagome shook her head violently. As if to throw these memories out of her very head. She had put her family through so much pain. How could she blame them for what they were about to do?

As she let go of the rail, her hands stung greatly from gripping so tightly so long. She winced as she flexed her fingers and brought them up to her face. Curling the softly upon her chin with lips brushing against them. Tenderly kissing her pain away. If only she could the same to the pain that raged inside.

She crawled pain-stalking slow. Like it caused her great pain for her to make any movement what so ever. As if a dagger was wedged in between her ribs, piercing her heart slightly, but not yet stabbing it through entirely. No, it would not give her the satisfaction of that.

When she finally reached her destination, the door, she stopped and leaned against the hard wood. Allowing her face to press against the cool surface. The voices of her mother, grandfather, and brother drifted up to her. Also that of a stranger that she did not know, but knew him by why he was downstairs at this moment with her sadden family.

Her mothers' sobs ripped at her heart. She felt guilt with every hindrance in her mom's breath that she caught. She didn't want to hear the conversation, but her ear presses harder against the door. "Are you sure this is best Doctor? Are you sure this is best for Kagome?" A middle aged man answered her mother gently. "Yes Mrs. Higurashi. It will be best for your daughter. Not to mention beneficial to your son, father, and yourself." Now her grandfathers' sobs could be heard and tugged at her heart. She couldn't help but cry along. 'I'm so sorry....InuYasha....'

She felt like such a failure. What would he think of her if he could see her now? Would he be disgusted? If he saw her, would he turn up his lip and sneer. Mocking her at her weakness. Angry at himself for allowing this woman to get close to him. She could just hear him tell her. She was such a pathetic excuse of...Kikyou....

This last thought drove her over the edge. She pulled at her hair and banged her head hard against the door. The sound of a glass shattering downstairs went unnoticed by Kagome. All she could see in her head were images of him....with her!

Him running off to her at the mere sight of her soul gatheres. The vile creatures. How she longed to just....just....rip them apart! Of them hugging hidden among the trees. Of them kissing right in front of her! Of their promises made, and their decarlations of lost love.

'Why? Why InuYahsa?' She threw herself on the gound and flung herself about. Her arms and legs smashed agaisnt the wall and her dresser. Fat bruises covering them. 'I loved; love you InuYasha.' Her flinging stopped abrubtly. 'I sound...just like her!'

"N-no. I'm no tlike her! I'm not." Bringing her bruised arms and legs into her. She curled up into a tight ball and merely rocked herself gently. a way to find a calm and peace. This was how her family and the doctor found her. The doctor merely shaking his head while her family gathered around her, crying her name.

"Kagome! Kagome! Tell me what's wrong! What can I do? What can I do?" Her mother had dropped to her knees and was tugging at her daughters arm. As though she was going to drag her out of her state. Fat tears rolling off her mothers chin to soak Kagome's shirt. Mrs. Higurashi was breaking along with her daughter. For, as a mother she was helpless. As a mother she was drenched in guilt. She thought herself responsible for her daughter's condition.

Her brother leaned against the wall with his head in his hands. Slowly he slide down the wall to meet the floor. Yet he felt like he was still falling. What had happened to his older sister? What had happened to the spunky girl who would snap at him? Who would protect him from anything. The girl that lay before him couldn't be the same girl. How many times in the past year did he go to the tree of ages and just screamed at it? How many times had he cursed InuYasha? Stood out in front of the wall daring InuYasha to show his face.

And no his sister was being sent away. When she needed him most he couldn't do a thing for her. He felt pathetic and useless. Was he giving up to early? He didn't know what to do and he was just so tired.

Her grandfather had left the room almost as soon as he had entered it. Like Souta, it was hard for him to accept the girl crumpled on the ground as his granddaughter Kagome.

The doctor put his hand on Mrs. Higurashi's shoulder. "I assure you, Kagome will be well taken care of. You have my word." The doctor's face looked sincere, yet his eyes said otherwise. He has seen cases like these and the outcomes were grim. Often the patients were declared insane and/or committed suicide, caused themselves bodily harm, or worse hers. Kagome would more then likely be no different. Just another heavily "medicated" patient staring as the wall while her life drifted away.

He looked around at the family. Ho noticed that the grandfather was no longer in the room. This family was falling right along side their Kagome. While the girl might not recover, her family was sure to once the girl left.

Almost all of his patients families were like that. As soon as the child was gone the family got back on its feet. They went back to doing what they wanted to do. Occasionally they would visit their child. But after a while they would stop coming altogether. It was sad, but you couldn't really blame the families. His patients had given up first.

Mrs. Higurashi reluctantly moved her gaze to look at the man who had his hand on her shoulder. Maybe if she wasn't so caught up in her distress about her daughter she might of seen his contradicting eyes. Instead, all she heard was the reassurance of his voice. "Where is the paperwork to sign, Dr. Inuka?"

"Mom! You can't be serious!" Souta had stood back up at the doctor's words. He knew his mom would give. A part of him had even wanted to. "We...we can't just give up on Kagome! She would never give up on us!"

"Be quite Souta! You think I do not know this? You think I do not feel the guilt o it?!" His mother was clutching her shirt above her heart. Tears and snot flowing down her aged face. "We have tried for a year now to take care of her! And where has it gotten her? She is exactly the same as that very night! Look at her, look at my daughter Souta! There is nothing more your grandfather, you," she sort of spat out the word when referring to Souta,"or myself can do for her."

Mrs. Higurashi stood up and walked determinedly towards the door past both men. Just before exiting the room se stopped, but did not turn around. As if she was refusing to look back. "I will wait for you downstairs Dr. Inuka." She took a step before again she stopped. "This is the best we can do for her Souta." She closed the door behind her. Leaving the rest in darkness.

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Hey! Did you like it? Sorry I am slow to update. I have no internet so I have to update when I am able to get on....please dont hate me!