Poison by Robuyasha

Chapter One: Little Prick, Big Prob

"What should I do, lord Sesshomaru!?" Jaken said in his putrid, grating voice.

Sesshomaru held his temple, his head throbbing. "What manner of poison is this?" He was speaking mainly to himself, but it was a valid question for his company, nevertheless.

Sometime in the night, he'd been stuck by a dart. It was unusual that anyone could attack him without his knowledge, much less get away without his ever being the wiser.

Jaken, cursing his carelessness that had led to his master being poisoned, was racking his brain about what to do about it now that it had happened.

"My mommy used to give these to me when I was sick," Rin said, holding out a black and green flower she'd found in the nearby wood.

Jaken slapped the flower out of her hand, but Sesshomaru reached down after it. "Cat's weed...it might help push the poison through my system quicker."

Jaken turned to his master, and his eyes grew wide. "My lord, that isn't..."

"Enough." He put the flower in his mouth, chewed a little, and fell flat on his back.

ΩΩΩΩ

"Enough!" Inuyasha threw a handful of thorny weeds on the muddy ground beneath him.

"Inuyasha! We promised to help these people!" Kagome yelled as she began to follow the fuming half-demon.

He turned, pointing his clawed finger at her. "No, you promised to help these people! Naraku is still terrorizing half of Japan, and the Shikon jewel shards are still scattered all over it, but we're here ripping weeds out of it! If it weren't for you always..."

Kagome was losing patients quickly, and when it appeared Inuyasha wasn't going to let up anytime soon, she decided she'd had enough. "Inuyasha...sit! Sit! Sit! SIT!" Each 'sit' drove the hapless hound deeper into the mud. Kagome, thoroughly exasperated, stalked out of the field and toward their lodging on the edge of the village.

Shippo, ever helpful, was quick to Inuyasha's side, but not necessarily his aid. "You know, dummy, you really should be more kind to Kagome. She calmed that mob that formed after you nearly took out the whole village!"

Growling, Inuyasha rose to his feet and began shaking the dirt and mud away. "I was saving their sorry hides from that demon-hoard! Bunch of ungrateful yokels, that's what they are..."

"Yes, they may be, but people generally become displeased when their home is nearly destroyed. That's pretty universal," said a head bent among the rows of vegetables. Miroku and Sango were still weeding, not to be distracted by something so common as Inuyasha and Kagome getting into a tiff. Miroku said the fore.

A small form began hopping around Inuyasha, and he rolled his eyes when he realized what it was. "Great, my flea problem's back. What is it, Myoga?"

"Don't snap at me! I came to give you a warning, but I don't think I want to anymore," said the flea petulantly. He incidentally made his way onto Inuyasha's right arm and was about to sink in for some sustenance, when he was violently smashed.

"Warn me of what?"

Momentarily dazed by the smashing, Myoga was quick to recover. "A possible conflict. I sense..."

Sniffing the air, Inuyasha interrupted with, "Sesshomaru. I recognize that smell any..." his words were cut off as he was plopped to the ground by a sudden figure pouncing on his chest.

Seemingly from nowhere, Sesshomaru leapt on Inuyasha's chest. He looked down at his stunned brother, and, in a move that dazed everyone but himself, licked him.

Kagome, who'd been returning and drew her bow at the sight of Sesshomaru, was frozen, string drawn back with arrow knocked. Miroku had half-risen from the field, was now stuck half up, unable to move from shock. Sango too was in an awkward position, soon to cramp in fact, but could not move her surprised pose. Shippo, closest of all to the action, passed out from disbelief.

When everyone came to senses, save Inuyasha (who might not move for days from the look of it) they looked to Sesshomaru for some sort of explanation. He smiled (an act that alone was nearly unthinkable) and said, "Not bad, but you could use some sesame sauce, bro." He jumped forward off his brother, jumped again and landed next to Kagome. By this time, she'd relaxed the bowstring and was standing somewhat at ease. When he landed by her side, she was taken aback, but when he grabbed her butt, she didn't know how to react, except for her eyes becoming the size of dinner plates.

Upon seeing this, Sango slapped Miroku out of sheer instinct. Miroku, feeling the need to justify an unjustified slap, grabbed Sango's butt, though she didn't notice. Even Miroku felt unfulfilled, as what was unfolding in front of them greatly overshadowed even this euphoric act.

After his dastardly act with Kagome, Sesshomaru bounded on all fours toward Kirara and started playing animal games with her. Not that Kirara was playing back. Even animals can tell this should not be happening. She looked on with a look never before and never again seen on an animals face.

Finally, Inuyasha regained his senses, leapt across the field, and struck his brother in the head, rendering the pouncing demon unconscious. Sesshomaru lay motionless on the ground, the strange and unfamiliar smile on his face.

Everyone stared unblinking for a minute, not quite able to comprehend what happened. Nor what to do next, for that matter.

Shippo drearily came to. "Uh, I had the strangest dream about your brother, Inuyasha."

Sango shook her head. "No you didn't."

"That was...just...weird," Kagome sputtered.

"What do we do with him?" Miroku asked.

Myoga bound up to Inuyasha's shoulder. "Something powerful must be affecting him. We should try to discover the origin of his condition, less the same peculiar circumstance befall you."

For a moment, the half-demon contemplated himself acting in such a manor. Totally freaked out, he nodded to agree with Myoga.

"Well, how do we figure it out? It doesn't look like he's going to be easy to talk to," Kagome voiced.

Inuyasha grabbed his brother up and slung him over his shoulder. "No less than usual. We'll figure something out."

Miroku and Sango exchanged glances. "Well," Sango said, "whatever happens, it'll be interesting."