Cutlass by Amadoni
Prologue
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Inuyasha and its characters.
Cutlass: (noun)
Etymology: Middle French coutelas, augmentative of coutel knife, from Latin cultellus, diminutive of culter knife, plowshare
1: a short curving sword formerly used by sailors on warships
2:MACHETE
Source: © 2007 Merriam-Webster, Incorporated
Prologue:
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This one truth my heart can not break free from,
This one truth is the day of my betrayal.
My soul devoured, I felt my life slip away.
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I saw them, Inuyasha and Kikyo. It wasn't sex. But I knew that they shared something that Inuyasha and I never could.
Have you ever walked into a room with just two people in it, and you knew that you were imposing on something truly intimate, as if, that one moment was meant only for them--and how dare you for violating it.
I didn't stay long looking at that scene. But to say that that I was shocked, shattered, and nearly swooned would only begin to explain what I felt. Instead of staying longer than I could have, I ran instead; I ran straight home.
No, I wasn't set on killing myself. That's simply foolish. And I already was made enough of a fool for one day. No, I was ingenious. I set my release out on simply cutting myself.
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In this one moment my blood can flow strong and crimson,
In this one moment, I can believe that I am free of pain and lose.
My mind awakened, today seems like any other time.
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The human body naturally tries to avoid pain. But what started out as something to get my mind off of what I saw...started to become an addiction.
A small cut here, then there, an excuse about falling or running into something: I guess it's easier to believe people's excuses than the horrid reality. Lies feel so much better--at first. Still, my clothing became very modest. But that change only made everyone else more comfortable given the historical era.
We kept on looking for jewel shards. I never brought up what I saw that day. Inuyasha never asked if anything was wrong. I said I would stay and collect the shards; I might as well keep up the charade--even after the well mysteriously sealed and even after Kikyo died. Like I said, it had become an addiction.
I kept my smile, my charm, my sympathy, and strong-willed stubbornness. Like a calm sea, everything seemed fine above the surface. No one ever noticed the undertow until it was too late.
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Whispers, voices, in the dark
Visions, people, in the light,
Everything seems blurred
When one is in-between.
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We were in battle against Naraku. And one of his tentacles ended up throwing me into some icy rapids. Naraku kept everyone too busy staying alive to go after me right away. I guess prolonged sessions of allowing myself to bleed and bleed made me too weak to fight the current. I eventually drowned.
I drowned and then felt myself being hoisted and dropped onto an unforgivingly hard, sharp surface. My lungs burned and screamed as I was going in-between exhaling water and inhaling precious air. I didn't want to die. I hardly noticed my wet clothing being removed.
Finally, getting my body under control, I searched for my savior. Thinking Inuyasha, I was very surprised to the amber eyes of his brother instead. His ever stoic mask gone at the moment, the expression I saw on his face was one of open disgust...and sheer disappointment. Of what?
I fell down the well at fifteen. And in that one year, I learned that I was a miko; I loved a half-human; I saw my own heart break. And I was shocked to eventually learn that the only person that noticed my dark secret was a full-demon who considered humans nothing short of vermin beneath his notice.
Life is strange. I was happy to be alive and soon regretted it. Lies make life easy until...
"Miko, this Sesshomaru requires the truth," pointing to the cuts on my arms, thighs, and stomach, "about these."