An Angel Inside Me and a Demon in You by Obsidian_tresses

Pain

AN-Felt like I should get this edited along the way, so... I GOT A BETA!! WHOO!

Thanks to Green Wolf (Omg, I don't know if that's really the name, sad I know...) for beta-ing this chapter!!!

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Hurt. No, not hurt, more like ripped apart and torn to shreds. That is all Kagome felt right now as she dashed through the heavily wooded area. Her tears were hot and heavy against her freakishly cold skin, streaming down her face mercilessly. She felt her heart throbbing in her head as she ignored the many branches slapping her in the face and shallowly cutting her pale, porcelain-like skin. What made it worse was that fact that the rain was pelting her fragile figure to the point where it felt like millions of tiny knives cutting through her uniform.

But she wouldn't stop running. She couldn't stop running. She had to get away from the thing that had hurt her so much.

Did she say thing? She meant person.

The love of her life was slipping through her fingers like water, and she didn't care anymore, she didn't want to care anymore. Her heart had already been stomped on numerous times and abandoned for another for the past four years. This was the definitely the last time, the last straw. She knew that she wouldn't have the strength if it happened again, if he hurt her again. Now, she didn't have any strength left to fight this emotional battle, and it was his entire fault.

Kagome stumbled over a tree root and fell face first into the mud. Her tears merged with the rain as they fell to the ground. Kagome reached out to grip something, anything, to give her strength in her time of need, but her hand only found more Godforsaken mud. She curled into a ball, her sobs lost in the sound of water thundering on the red-clayed earth. Her mind couldn't stop replaying the words that had just taken place.

"Slut, you are nothing to me, nothing more than a shard-detecting bitch that always needs protection. Kikyo is so much stronger than you are. How is it that you are her reincarnation and yet, you are nothing compared to her? I know the reason; it is because you are useless, weak and ugly."

Useless.

Weak.

Ugly.

Nothing.

Those words cut through her like an executioner decapitating a serial killer. It hurt so much, too much. The words brought so much pain that it felt like her heart was shattered into billions of pieces.

She was broken; too broken to even lift her head from its resting place in the mud. Too broken to even crack open an eye. At least Kagome wasn't too broken to keep on trying to make sense of the situation.

'Why? Why would he say those things to me? Why would he say those things after I have confessed my love for him?' The obvious answer flashed across her mind.

Kikyo.

She couldn't bring herself to hate Kikyo. It wasn't her fault that Inuyasha would still sacrifice anything for her. Go to hell with her. Die for her. It wasn't her fault that she died because of a worthless hanyou's obsession for her and the jewel. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault.

But those thoughts didn't ease the pain that was boiling in her gut. The thoughts didn't erase the fact that her first love wouldn't love her back, wouldn't see her for her, and wouldn't even give a second glance if she was in writhing on the ground in pain. No, he wouldn't do those things for her. He would never do those things for her. Only for... Kikyo. Every time he looks at her he sees, the dead, walking corpse; he would never see her like that.

After all, she was only a reincarnation. Kagome couldn't help but think that the word suited her perfectly. A copy, never the original, never the first one, always living in a shadow of your predecessor, not even the soul she held was truly hers. It all belonged to Kikyo. Everything. That included Inuyasha, and his love.

She needed to stop thinking about him. But she couldn't. How could she just throw away four years wasted on loving the half-breed? The truth of the matter was she couldn't. She couldn't just forget about this. She couldn't just forget about all the memories she shared with him. Kagome just couldn't delete the past and forget. It was impossible.

Oh, but is it impossible? Images and scenes of her life played and replayed through her brain. She saw the look of happiness on his face when he finally held Kikyo after all these years. She saw the pure bliss he experienced when Kikyo said she still loved him and kissed him, oh so tenderly. She could see her life with him now, if he did choose her.

She would always be weighing him down. She would always be the one who held him back from the things he needed to do because she was weak, just like he said. She could see them making love and Inuyasha suddenly cry out Kikyo's name. Then she could see the hurt and anguish on her face when he left to 'attend to some business.' She could see herself driven insane by his hurtful words and him always comparing her to Kikyo. Maybe it was impossible to throw those feelings away and forget immediately, but it wasn't impossible to change the future while she was still in her sane state of mind.

Now she had a clear understanding of where he stood on their relationship. It was painful to admit but, the truth of the matter was that he didn't care for her. He was just trying to save Kikyo's soul so that way he could return it to her. She now fully comprehended that there was a snowball's chance in hell that her feeling for him would be returned. If she kept on hoping, she would keep on getting hurt, and she would stay in pain.

The best Kagome could hope for was a friendship. Yes, friendship. Friendship sounded good. No lovey-dovey feelings are needed from this. Indeed, friendship sounded good. It was the only thing she could salvage out of her currently dead relationship with the inu hanyou.

Dead.

What could Inuyasha salvage out of the corpse? What did that clay pot have that Kagome didn't? What did she possess that drew him so strongly to her? What the hell was so special about her? What did he see in her? Wouldn't Inuyasha want somebody, well, alive?

Kagome immediately squashed those thoughts and buried them deep within her head. Didn't she just have a talk with herself about this? Didn't she just tell herself that there was nothing there with him except the hurt and the pain?

She then thought she could temporarily forget about him more easily if she admitted to herself the obvious. She knew that if she didn't state it to herself and keep engraving it in her brain, she would fail. That, she couldn't do.

Kagome had responsibilities. She was the glue that held the group together. She was the one who kept the peace. She was supposed to be the one who brightened their day with a gentle, caring smile despite the sadness that bubbled beneath her skin. She was supposed to ease their fears and sadness while she locked up hers. It was her fault they were even in this predicament in the first place. Kagome came to a conclusion; she would do this for her friends, despite how much it killed her.

'Okay, I have to admit this aloud, or else I will never let go of him and remain strong for my friends.'

She lifted her head out of the mud with much effort and inhaled a deep breath before she confessed through her plush pink lips, "Inuyasha...." She tried hard to force the words from her mouth. "Inuyasha will never see me for who I am," her voice cracked with a sob, but she still continued, determined, "There is no room in his heart for the likes of me," something twisted in her stomach and gave a 360, "I will never be first in his heart, or in his mind. I will let go of the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I will wish for his happiness. I will not fear the inevitability of Kikyo and Inuyasha ending up together. I just hope she will cherish what I have lost. I do not deserve him or his love."

Kagome let her drenched, inky black haired head droop to the moist ground, and shut her eyes, tears seeping out of the corners of her cerulean blue orbs. She let a small, pained smile creep across her fragile features as she let the darkness overtake her.

XXXXXXXXX

For some odd reason he was following the raven-haired beauty that was running through the heavily wooded area. It was apparent she did not care that nature was slicing through her closes and her long, shapely legs, face, and arms. Either that or she was just oblivious. Even through the downpour he could smell the overbearing saltiness of her tears.

Whatever caused her tears seemed to be causing her so much pain that she didn't notice the few hungry looking youkai that eyeballed her. But a small relief washed over him when they seemed in no mood to chase her through the haziness of the rain.

He couldn't blame them for not wanting to hunt in this kind of weather, but he couldn't stop following her. His legs seemed to have a mind of their own because he had willed them to stop a few hundred times already. So he had no choice but to follow the fleeing maiden.

There was something so familiar about her. He was sure he had probably seen her somewhere in his lifetime, but where? It was obvious she was a miko, for she had holy powers. He let his mind wander as to why this female human was in so much pain. Something bad must have happened to her. Something she really cared about must have bitten back at her. Bitten back at her hard. Her pain was radiating off of her so strongly that he almost felt sorry for her.

Almost.

Sesshoumaru skidded to a halt when he saw her stumble over a tree root that was protruding out of the ground, and crashed into a fairly shallow puddle of mud. Her hair was splayed across her body and covered her muddied tear stained face. He saw her reach out for something, then curl into a ball and bawl uncontrollably. Sesshoumaru stood as stoic and still as ever as he observed her. He found this as a good opportunity to study this mildly fascinating creature that lay a mere 5 meters from him.

She was voluptuous, to say the least. Her soaked, torn, white, collared shirt hugged her frame, exposing her large hips, small waist and lean torso. Not to mention it showed off her perfectly rounded breasts, which were covered in a black lacy fabric. Her skirt hitched up slightly higher than it was accustomed to and showed off her femininely muscular legs. Her pale skin faintly glowed against the darkness of the night surrounding her. He saw through slender-fingered hands her heart shaped face. This mystery human had beautiful blue eyes that were hidden underneath thick, long eyelashes. The maiden's plump pink lips were slightly open, letting out frustrated and sorrowful cries. Her jet-black, waist-length, hair seemed to float around her weeping figure. If she weren't so dirty, he would have thought she was a celestial being bestowed upon this world by the gods themselves. She was beautiful.

For a human.

He saw her futile attempts to lift her head from the ground, but failed miserably. It irked him to see such a beautiful maiden so broken, so fragile, so dead. She was lying so still that if it were not for his highly sensitive ears, he would have thought she had given up all will to live.

He debated if he should leave this woman alone to suffer or to help her. He tried to leave, but found that his feet were planted firmly in the ground. It felt as if someone was forcing him to watch her suffer. Someone was forcing him to watch this magnificent creature break into millions of glass and clatter on the floor.

Sesshoumaru started to reach out to her when he saw her lift her head ever so slightly and take in a deep breath. He never thought that he would hear that name, which he despised with passion, fall from her lips.

"Inuyasha-"

So that is why this ningen looked so familiar. She was Inu-hanyou's wench. She was the one who followed him around constantly and leapt into a battle to save his half-brother's life. It was obvious she had feelings for him. She was stupid, foolish, and weak. She loved a hanyou, a half-breed.

She loved his brother.

'So that is the reason why she is in this state. My half-brother must have hurt her in some way.' Sesshoumaru was well aware of how Inuyasha went off to go gallivanting after the dead wench. 'The situation must have concerned the dead priestess and the half-breed. Not that it is any of my concern, but I am of course glued to this spot.'

He came back to his senses when he heard the young human speak again.

"Inuyasha will never see me for who I am," Sesshoumaru heard her sob. But the miko continued with her head held high. "There is no room in his heart for the likes of me,"

'"The likes of her?" She makes herself sound like an incurable plague.'

"I will never be first in his heart, or in his mind. I will let go of the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I will wish for his happiness. I will not fear the inevitability of Kikyo and Inuyasha ending up together. I just hope she will cherish what I have lost. I do not deserve him or his love."

But he did not expect her to utter those words that she had just spoken. He was not expecting her to keep her head high as she said admitted to herself the painful truth. He didn't expect her to wish for his happiness even though it was obvious he was the one who broke her spirit. He was expecting her to announce her hatred of him and the dead clay pot.

Sesshoumaru was astonished that she would say that she didn't deserve him, but the mask on his face hid the astonishment. He knew it was the exact opposite of the matter. His foolish, half-wit brother didn't deserve to have a creature such as herself give her love to him, let alone have her in his company.

He couldn't believe that there were people in this world that could show such humility. That there were beings that could hold keep their head high even near the point of a nervous breakdown. He could barely comprehend the fact that there were people who were able to forgive even though they didn't need to. This girl, this miko, this human, was the most pure being that this Sesshoumaru had ever encountered.

Sesshoumaru watched in amazement as she slowly let her head drop to the mud, and gazed in awe when he saw the genuine smile grace her muddy face. She looked enchanting under the now light veil of rain that was falling from the stormy grey clouds. He heard her breathing become deep and even, and he knew she had fallen asleep.

He didn't want such a rare find like her, human or not, to stay in this state. He sauntered over to her and knelt down beside her sleeping form. He brushed away the silky hair covering her face, and gently stroked her cheek.

She felt so soft, so fragile, and so... human. She had glistening tears gathered near the corners of her eyes and the light rain slowly washed away the mud. Her features were at ease and content.

Curiosity was raging through his mind.

'Where did she come from?'

'Why is she a reincarnation?'

'What attracts her to my brother?'

Such questions and more were attacking his thoughts. Sesshoumaru didn't like the way he was thinking. 'Why would I care about her personal life?' He stayed by her side, oblivious to the hair he was petting while he pondered. Sesshoumaru came to a conclusion. He decided that he would bring her back to her friends so he could never think of her again.

Sesshoumaru laid his hands on her body when she suddenly started to cry out in pain. Her shrieks were deafening his hypersensitive ears. He saw and felt purification energy cackling and dancing across her body. He immediately removed his clawed hands from her person and watched her intently.

He observed that her cuts were starting to heal, but her already revealing clothes were getting even more torn apart by the skipping energy. It also appeared that she was struggling with an unseen force, and he could hear her bones cracking inside her body.

'What is causing this? She still appears to be asleep, though.' He moved to try and shake her awake, but as he did so, even more power emerged from her skin, burning the full demon, and he was forced to draw back.

'Who knew a creature so fragile could possess such strength?' With a determined look in his golden eyes, he reached out to wake her again when a sudden surge of energy erupted from her body and blasted him out of 'reality.'

:::]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]My hands have a mind of their own. Please, make the hands giddy by reviewing and rating. :]

A/N: Okay, to get this straight, this isn't the typical "Inuyasha runs off with Kikyo and hurts Kagome." sort of thing.

Next thing, the next chap for this fic will be ready soon. I'll try really hard to put up chapters for the other fics..