To your A/N: I think that it would be a good idea to take a break and think about where you want to go with this story and then how you are going to get there. After you have cleared this things up I'm sure that your chapters will get automatically longer and that it will be easier to write them!
Hello,
every chapter is a new surprise, because you often change perspectives. That's actually really nice! I'm happy to see that there has been some (or rather much) progress in the relationship of Sesshoumaru and Kagome, just be careful and don't rush it too much.
So Naraku is really loving Kagome's mother? I didn't expect that one.
I'm looking forward to your next update!
I find it interesting that while Naraku does truly seem to love his daughters, step son & wife he only wants Kagome because of the shikon jewel. This is definitely a different perspective & has drawn my attention. Please update soon!
Lovely chapter.
I hope Kagome doesn't get all angsty to the point where she will break and run back home thinking she is doing the right thing.
Kagome should be happy that Sesshomaru and his father are willing to help her get out of the situation she is in because obviously she can't do it alone. Sesshomaru's father has the power and connections to pull it off and she would be a fool to turn her back on them.
I hope they start to train her in her powers and expand her knowledge of the jewel and its origin.
Looking forward to future updates.
Wonderful job!!!
VS (Chapter 10) - Sun 13 Jan 2019
Aahh, Sesshoumaru was so super sweet in this chapter. :) And they kisses! :) it's really interesting to see how Sesshoumaru does exactly know what he is feeling for Kagome, while she seems so bit a bit oblivious to not only his but her own feeling too.
I'm looking forward to your next update!
Okay, now their getting somewhere. I think Sesshomaru is finally getting some sense into Kagome's head.
A little touchy feely and lip action is good.
Keep on this course...I like where it's heading.
Great job!!!
The chapter itself was nicely written.
I think Kagome needs to stop with the bleeding heart moaning and wimpering.
She moans about not wanting people getting hurt if they help her and that she would not be able to live with herself if something bad happen to the people that did offer their help to protect her. Has she ever thought that these feelings are a two way reaction? If something bad did happen to her and they could have been in the position to help or prevent something from happening to her that they could not live with themselve for not being there for her?
I think Kagome needs to stop with the whining and put some trust in the people that are willing to stand by her and she needs to start putting trust in herself, start learning about the powers she has and use them for her defense. Kagome, no more crying and start learning...do some research and do some physical training. Stand up for yourself and stop being a victim. Trust in yourself and kick some Naraku ass.
I hope she realizes that Sesshomaru loves her and he needs to say a few words to let her know of his feelings also. No one is a mind reader the last time I checked. LOL :)
Looking forward to more updates.
Toni (Chapter 9) - Fri 11 Jan 2019
Really liked the chapter hope to see more soon
Oh how wonderful, Kagome finally chose to go.... Now she will find out exactly why Naraku has been torturing her and boy ol' boy this should be good.... Love the story update soon.
VS (Chapter 8) - Fri 11 Jan 2019
Ahhh, InuPapa!!! So glad he has a part in this story! I absolutely love InuPapa! :) And i hope to see more of him in the next chapters!!!
Though I still wonder, if InuPapa knew about the jewel too why did nobody interfere? Why let Naraku be a part of Kagome's family? Why did nobody have an eye on her?
This was a nice and sweet update. I think it does your story really good to put in some "light" chapters in contrast to Kagome's abuse.
I'm looking forward to your next update!
VS (Chapter 6) - Fri 11 Jan 2019
I LOVED this chapter! Sesshoumaru was so sweet and tender! And Inuyasha's reaction was awesome! I'm glad he is not a jerk in this one, but rather a true friend.
Let's see if they will be able to rescue her.
This chapter actually answered one of my questions: if Sesshoumaru knew about the jewel. But if he knew about the power and knew that Naraku is obsessed with it, why hadn't he warned Kagome and her mother? Why did he left Kagome alone in this?
I hope you will include this questions in the next chapters.
Lauren (Chapter 6) - Tue 08 Jan 2019
Interesting story, but I hope we'll see more of the relationships the characters have. That part seems to be glossed over
VS (Chapter 4) - Tue 08 Jan 2019
So Kagome thinks that Naraku wants only to state his bloodlust. Interesting. I like the way Sesshoumaru reacts. Thinking, trying, thinking.
Doesn't he know about the jewel?
Let's see what Naraku's answer will be to Kagome's request.
I'm looking forward to your next update!
I wonder why Kagome's mother has not picked up on any of the tell tale signs of abuse that Kagome is suffering from.
Surely Kagome's mother had to have seen some of the bruises on her daughter's body at some point in all those years.
If Kagome feels that she is close to losing her very life she should at least tell one person or write a letter documenting the abuse and leaving it with someone she trusts just in case Naraku kills her, that way the authorities knows where to start the investigation and who is suspect. She is not doing anyone any favors by keeping these horrible things a secret.
One question I have is why Kagome has not asked Naraku why he is treating her so badly? He may just tell her about the jewel and that he thinks it is in her possession. Of course she may not believe him and think that he is crazy but at least she may start to question herself and research such a notion. My other question would be, why hasn't the jewel activated itself to protect its host...Kagome?
Here's hoping that Kagome's friends, especially Sessshomaru, find out what is going on in her life soon.
Loving this story...keep up the good work and looking forward to more updates soon.
Btw, I think you are doing a good job in writing dialoge for the characters. :)
Cheers!!!
Jamie (Chapter 3) - Mon 07 Jan 2019
GAAHHH..... cliffie hell!! So how long does it take fluffy to figure out what's going on with Kagome, and how much longer does it take her to acknowledge the hotness that wants to take care of her?
Cliffhanger aside, I am loving your story, so far! Looking forward to the next chapter!
VS (Chapter 3) - Mon 07 Jan 2019
Awh, protective Sesshoumaru! I love it! It was really sweet to read how he is worrying for her and even start to get a headache. :)
So Kagome doesn't know she has the shikon jewel? Oups, I got it wrong then. Sorry. But if she doesn't know about the jewel then she doesn't know the reason for Naraku's behaviour too. What is her theorie then? And why is she not fighting against him? Like telling her mother, friends, police?
And what about her half-sisters? They are on good terms and demons. It couldn't be that they have absolutely no clue on what's going on...
So many questions! :) I know that you can't answer them all in a chapter and have to develop the story line. Just sharing my thoughts. :)
I think you are doing quite a good job so far. And I'm looking forward to your next update!
VS (Chapter 2) - Mon 07 Jan 2019
Hello,
first of all congratulations for updating the second chapter so fast! ;)
It definitely answered some questions - and raised more. - But that is good!
So Kagome's body is hosting the jewel and Naraku is interested in it. What I'm not sure if I understood is: does Naraku want to take the jewel out of her body or is he only torturing her as a punishment that the jewel is in her possession?
I'm actually really excited to read the next chapter. Hopefully you will focus more on Sesshoumaru's thoughts, as you promised. :)
Two last questions:
- you mentioned that Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru could smell Kagome's cherry blossom scent mixed up with blood. But when she came back they kind of acted like they had no idea. So did they smell her blood or was that only Kagome's imagination? Not sure if I got that right.
- if demons in general are interested in the jewel does that mean that Kagome is daily under attack? Blood and bruises would be "normal" in that case.
I'm looking forward to your next update!
Susy V (Chapter 2) - Mon 07 Jan 2019
Yes, interesting for sure!
I thought the Jewel had something to do with why Naraku was so cruel to Kagome.
Well this answers my question as to why he treated her so badly, so somehow he found out her secret, hence the reason he probably married her mother.
But how did he know and how did he find out about her?
I hope Kagome's friends find out the truth of her circumstances and help her get stronger to stand her ground with the evil that is Naraku.
Nicely written!!
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