Very interesting storyline you've got here. I noticed some errors but nothing that distracted me too much. I hope to read more soon! :3

I now have Abba's 'nina pretty ballerina' stuck in my head, sess seems a little on the young side but looking forward to where you'll take this

The idea for your story has potential but I would recommend spell checking and finding someone to beta it. To be honest, I started reading the first paragraph but couldn't get past all the grammatical errors. I ended up skimming the rest of the chapter. You have something great on your hands. Good Luck =]

i wuvs it! pwease continwoo! *favorite

I like it so far :) But you should make your chapters longer! I have a feeling this is going to be a great story! Keep up the good work!