I love this story! But could you please use the word 'break' instead of 'brake?' The word 'break' means a short rest while the word 'brake' describes the pedal on a vehicle that you mash with your foot to slow it down or to stop moving. You spelled it correctly, but I know that the auto-correct on a lot of computers only seems to notice certain misspells, etc. and sometimes ignores other stuff. Personally, I hate it when it tries to get me to re-write a sentence with a new one that makes absolutely zero sense simply because I forgot a comma, or something quite stupid like that. Oh well, keep up the great work!!! Thank you for taking the time to write this!!!! It's truly a great story!!!!
I'm new to this story and have read it straight through to the current chapter so this is my first review. This started out as a very interesting concept with the curse, poisoning of the youkai, and the hints at a change in the future. It has developed into something else entirely. Although I really want to find out what the vision the Temp had means I'm uncomfortable with some of the plot devices that seem to be arbitrary.
Kagome healed a broken bone before in a matter of hours after the poison was removed while still in heat and yet she now will be convalescing for months as though she were completely human. Medical experts don't recommend wrapping broken ribs now because of the risk of pneumonia. I understand that Kagome was born in 1982 so her current time period is actually our past and wrapping was the accepted treatment. Actually even in humans, ribs will heal on their own in one to two months. Is her healing slowed by something else then?
What really makes me uneasy is that she's being lead around by this youki by the nose and forced into a mating or matings where there may be affection, but no love. This is a little too close to molestation or rape for my taste since she doesn't really have a choice. I've read and am following some of those fictions and enjoying them as well, but this doesn't have the usual warnings associated with the darker pieces.
It wouldn't seem so bad, in fact I like the idea of her taking Livius as a second mate, except that Kagome herself basically said that she was being forced in reaction to her youki molesting Sesshoumaru at the hot springs. Although I'm all for the mating/s under the right circumstances, it feels like a shortcut to justify her pairing with Sesshoumaru physically rather than having a deeper emotional bond. I get that he is starting to feel that way towards her without actually acknowledging anything other than jealously and feeling possessive and protective of her. Livius definitely has an emotional attachment. However it seems that the real Kagome, apart from her youki, doesn't share a strong affection for either yet. She seems to feel forced, helpless, and completely out of control. She may go along with it to keep her youki from suffering and save her life, but not because it's something she seems to want for herself.
The storyline seems to have stalled here with her heat and youki having become more important than the new fate of the world or dealing with Naraku. I'm not ready to give up on the story yet, especially because the first part was so very good. I love your ideas and your use of original characters. I'm very fond of the twins and Livius. I'm looking forward to getting to know more about Akiha. The oracle hinting that the future has been changed is a great hook. You've done a wonderful job of fleshing your characters out and bringing your world to life. I just wonder whether you should be adding the Dark descriptor to the story.
Saiya (Chapter 6) - Fri 16 Jan 2015
Read ALL Six Chapters and LOVED THEM Like OMG They Rocked.
ROFL REALL!!!! you trying to kill me with laughter??
You havw got to finish this :-) Please
Your story is amazing ! I can't wait for the next chapter:)
Keep it coming.
All three chapters are great, keep it coming. Happy New Year!
Keep it coming.
Yessssss an update. i'm in love with you story and was wondering if you wanted a beta let me know :)
oh man! Cliff-hanger! Oh well cant wait for the next chapter. Although the whole time flux confuses me. Why was he gone for three days in the future and only and few minutes in the past. Its like Narnia all over again!
Zeelian (Chapter 18) - Thu 03 Jan 2013
Just a small note, if naming specific drugs you might want to check what they are/do and not just grab one at random, Ibuprofen is not an antibiotic, its a (mild) painkiller with anti-inflamatory and fever reducing properties.
Nyuka (Chapter 17) - Wed 29 Aug 2012
But How much has already been completed? ^-^ A curous thought just came to mind...maybe I look into it...I know castles aren't really apart of Japanese archetecture but I can't help wander if may be there are some anchent castles about....now thinking about it that is a stupit thought not worth looking up...Beside my random ramboling thankyou for updating I find it funny how they where prettymuch telling Kagome she was crazy in not so many word back at the spring when she was talking to her youkai ^-^ I find crazy people to be a hoot ^-^ hehe
Nyuka
Alii (Chapter 17) - Sun 19 Aug 2012
Im so happy you updated keep up the great work!!
Alii (Chapter 17) - Sat 18 Aug 2012
YYa
Kar (Chapter 16) - Wed 08 Aug 2012
kawaii, shippo is sooooo kawaii with his chest puffing up and junk lol
KAR
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