Loony by summerbirdy

Loony

Eating carrots is dangerous I tell you. My plunnies love carrots. And here's the result. Hope you like it as much as I liked writing it.

And as usual, I do not own IY or it's characters, the ever-wonderful Takahashi-sensei does. I don't make money of this either, I write for pure fun of it.

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Loony

Kagome stared at the male with her. Today was crazy day. That was all she could think. Every last one of her friends had gone crazy. Totally mental. Loony! Oh yes, that's the word; loony. And just last night they had all been normal.

Inuyasha had been inhaling Ramen and disappeared to rut with his claydoll as soon as the white soul-carriers appeared. Miroku had once again fondled Sango's behind and been rewarded with Hiraikotsu on the back of his head. Sometimes Kagome wondered which one suffered more from the impacts, Hiraikotsu or Miroku.

Shippo had been playing tricks on just about anyone, and got bumped on his head from Inuyasha. Rin, who had joined the team with her Sesshoumaru-sama, had been picking flowers and decorating Jaken with them. Jaken had been complaining loudly, until he was silenced when big rock flew out of nowhere at his head, rendering him unconcious. Sesshoumaru had been himself too. The normal stoic, stick-too-far-in-his-ass type of normal. Even Ah-Un and Kirara had been doing their everyday things.

But this morning everything was crazy. And she didn't mean just the male who was standing in front of her. No, every last of her friends were acting strange. Really strange.

Sango was leaning on the tree, her kimono was dangerously loose. Both of her shoulders were bare and kimono showed a great deal of her leg. It seemed she herself didn't notice the scandalous state of her outfit. She was watching the sky with dreamy eyes, singing something that went like “boop-oop-a-doop” and her voice was dripping with unconscious innocence that in modern world would have been harnessed to appeal the men.

It seemed to work in Feudal Era too, since Kouga had appeared from somewhere. He was sitting on ground, his eyes bugged and tongue hanging far out of his mouth. He was in fact drooling a bucketful and the more Sango sang, the more weird his behavior got. When Kagome finally decided to find the other friends, Kouga was howling like a wolf he was and banging his head with something that looked very much like wooden hammer.

Next Kagome found Ah-Un and Kirara. The nekomata was sitting high on perch of the tree and looked curiously at the two headed dragon that was circling the tree. Ah was currently making noises that to Kagome, sounded like introductions to the other head. After few unfortunate tries of climbing to the tree, Un was shaking his head. Kirara was still sitting peacefully, every now and then peeking at the dragon. Kagome left them, but turned back to see Ah-Un climbing a ladder and Kirara pushing the ladder down. Kagome could have sworn to hear Ah to huff something that sounded awfully like “sufferin' succotash”, but decided it was just a coincidence.

Next scene made her rub her eyes. In a clearing Jaken was building something that looked like a huge pile of different explosives. He was watching how Rin and Shippo ran towards him and lighted the fuse. Kagome was about to stop him, when the kids practically flew past him and stopped right next to her. Soon after a huge explosion was heard, but not really felt. Kagome registered that as weird, but was so relieved that the kids were alright.

When she turned to ask if they were okay, both were already running far away, Rin squeaking something in Spanish and Shippo making honking noises.

“This is seriously getting a bit too strange.” Kagome muttered aloud, while walking towards Kaede's village. “What's next? Inuyasha cross-dressing as a bun-haired, thin and big footed damsel in distress who needs spinach-eating shorty to save her and Sesshoumaru dashing around saving the country, dressed in blue-white outfit and carrying a shield around?”

Almost before she finished her musings, she was out of the forest and saw the village. And Kaede's hut. And the red clad figure on top of the hut, holding a baton of sorts.

“Inuyasha, what are you doing with that baton?” Kagome asked when she neared the hut.

Inuyasha turned his face towards the miko and watched her with indescribably happy face. Then he lifted one finger to his lips and shhhh'ed.

“Be vewy vewy quiet.” He said. “I'm hunting wabbits.”

“Right. And I'm supposed to munch a carrot and ask 'what's up, doc'?” Kagome commented, but didn't receive an answer.

“Oh, well. We need to be grateful he doesn't have a rifle, don't we Kaede-san?” She continued, shaking her head as she stepped into the hut.

“You have a pic-a-nic basket, dear girl?” Kaede's raspy voice asked from the shadows of the hut.

“Picnic basket?” Kagome stopped right there. Oh no, not Kaede too.

“Pic-a-nic basket. For a hungry grandma like me. I'm smarter than average grandma, aye. I need pic-a-nic basket to fill mah tummy.” The old woman continued. “Hmm, that doesn't rhyme.”

That did it. If even reliable Kaede was affected by whatever it was that caused these weird happenings, it definitely wasn't good. Kagome needed to find Miroku and Sesshoumaru and get them to help her to solve this thing. With that thought, she dashed out of the hut and ran towards Goshinboku. Miroku was surely there, meditating as usual.

Luck was surely by her side, as she did notice Miroku sitting under Goshinboku. The funny hat on his head and a teacup in his hand didn't really bother her first. It was only after she arrived and was told to sit down and have some tea, that she noticed the strangeness of his behavior.

“Now, it's not your birthday is it?” Miroku asked while pouring tea to another cup.

“No, it's not, as you know.” Kagome answered. “Have you noticed anything weird today, Miroku?”

“Weird? There's always something weird around here. But let's not talk about that now. It's a celebration!” The monk said, waiving his teacup high above his head, spilling the tea all over himself.

“Celebration?” Kagome inquired.

“An un-birthday of course, you silly girl.”

Kagome groaned. So it got him too. Now he'd start asking nonsense like..

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

...that.

Kagome sighed. Oh well, she thought while sipping from her tea cup, at least he wasn’t shouting...

“Tea time!”

...all the time.

Kagome placed the tea cup next to Miroku and politely apologized for leaving so soon, and ran towards the well before he could say a word.

When Kagome reached the well, she sat down and leaned on its wall. She really should just jump in and go home, but what would then happen to her friends? And Sesshoumaru, he would be mental when he saw how his ward was acting. She needed to find the inuyoukai and ask his help. But finding him was difficult. Even Inuyasha had managed to scent the youkai lord only when he was practically on top of them.

Kagome groaned again, and hit her head against the wall. What a day this had turned out to be.

“At least it can't get any worse.” she mused.

“Zis one is 'appy to 'ear it.” A soft, velvety and definitely male voice with French accent said somewhere behind her. Kagome gasped a little and turned to see the owner of the voice.

“We will 'ave a fantastique day from now on too, no?” The male continued, staying in the shadows of the trees.

Oh, crap. An amorous male demon to voe her, just what she needed. Not. That was it, she would go home right now. She needed a good night sleep and tomorrow she'd come back with all her story books and solve this little incident. There was no way she'd go looking for Sesshoumaru with a white-clad, siver-haired and a lady-killer-voiced stalker at her heels.

Wait, what?

Kagome took a good look at the figure. A loose sleeve, silver hair and golden eyes.

“So it got you too, eh? Now, who are you supposed to be? Pepé le Pew?”

“Zis one's name is Sess'oumaru. Remember it.” Sesshoumaru said.

Kagome was confused. He sounded almost normal, but surely didn't act like normal, since she was still standing on her own feet after her snap at him. No matter how friendly they acted to each other, he still wouldn't suffer the disrespect. Or talk nonsense to human girls.

Sesshoumaru got nearer. He was moving with grace and seductive purpose that made her heart beat faster and her stomach make flip-flops.

“Uh, Sesshoumaru? What are you doing... here?” Kagome said, looking nervously as he approached.

”Zis one is 'ere to see ze owner of zis delighful power. O, what a belle you are, mon amour.”

Mon amour?

Being right was usually a joyous occasion to Kagome, specially in the school, but right now she wished she had been wrong with her guesses. Even though Sesshoumaru didn't smell like a skunk, he was faster and more powerful than her. Plus that voice was making her knees weak.

Okay, deep breaths, girl. One shot, that's all you got. She mentally cheered herself on.

She looked at the demon who was approaching and spouting something that sounded like, “Come to me mon petite pumpkin juice...” and inched closed to the well.

“Well, Sesshoumaru.” She started. “As much as I'd love to spend my day with you, I do have some... urgent matters to deal with.” And then she jumped down the well.

Or tried to. A firm arm wrapped itself around her and held her close to a equally firm and muscular chest. Oh, boy... now she was in trouble.

Kagome turned her face towards her 'saviour' who was watching her with strange gleam in his eyes.

Ah, my petite darling, it is love at first sight, is it not, no?” Sesshoumaru continued with vigor, like she had not just tried to jump down the deep well.

"At first sight? Were you blind before then? You tried to kill me just few months ago for Kami's sake.” Kagome said, wiggling around in the iron hold of daiyoukai. How was is that the demon could hold her so steady with only one arm?

“You wound me, mon petit fleur.” Sesshoumaru said, turning her to meet his face. “Zis one wants us to 'ave you for eternity. To 'ave love. Le petit morte. To feel your hand in zis one's...”

Kagome placed her hand on his mouth to stop him talk like that. Kami, did he know how to make a girl turn butter in his hand.

“Stop talking. I need to think. Okay?” She said to the inuyoukai, who strangely enough nodded. ”Good.”

Kagome removed her hand, and started think furiously. How to avoid an overly amorous daiyoukai who's holding you in his arm and is determined to mate you there and then? He's not himself and definitely not letting her go. And his lips on her neck feel heavenly. And so does his hand that was sliding under her shirt.

She blinked.

Oh, no no no no no. As much as she respected and secretly lusted after the inuyoukai, she surely wouldn't give in to this... skunk wanna-be that had taken over her Sesshoumaru. But how to...

A grin spread to her face when she realized the way to escape this situation.

“Oh, Sesshoumaru?” She whispered, sly look in her eyes. “I think I just might take that as invitation.”

Then she proceeded to pull the inuyoukai's head down and kiss him passionately.

~~~

Kagome woke up with a startled gasp. She sat up in her silk and fur covered bed, groaning and holding her head with both hands.

“Oh Kami, what a dream.” Oh never ever would she watch old cartoons again.

“Hn. This one thinks it was just getting interesting.” Velvety voice whispered in her ear, making shivers go down her spine.

“Are you telling me you see my dreams now too?” Kagome said, turning to the male who wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back under the covers.

“No. But this one could smell the excitement.” The male chuckled, his golden eyes twinkling from something that always made her blood heat. “Now, what did I do this time, to gouge that reaction from you, in your dreams?”

“How come you're sure it's you, Maru?” Kagome teased. She then found herself locked between bed and her obviously aroused and dangerously growling mate. And Kami how that growling vibrated through her. His hand slowly moved under her night yukata.

“ Because this Sesshoumaru is the only one to make you feel like that.”

And then he proceeded to prove his words. Repeatedly.

Maybe the old cartoons were good thing after all.

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A/N  Ten points and a parrot stamp to the one who gets the chracters I referred to... <.< I told you carrots are dangerous. 

Anyway... I hope you like. R&R, please.